Chapter 56 #2
Please, God, no.
Not now, not like this. Tshabina couldn’t be here, not in this state, not seeing me like this. Not when this devil is here!
Yet everything stilled the moment Tshabina stepped out of the lift. At first, she didn’t notice, eyes on her phone, walking into the hall. But her gaze narrowed when she lifted her head, and her steps halted. Her face went pale as she read the scene before her.
Baby… I loathe when this happens to me, but right now… I wish you weren’t real.
Her eyes moved from Cindy to me. She looked at me, saw me breathless, trembling with dread. And it tore me apart.
Cindy’s smile widened when she saw Tshabina.
She tried to move towards her, but I seized her wrist, yanking her back.
Forcing this shit woman to a halt. “Don’t you fucking dare,” I growled, dark and low.
I was shaking, fighting to gather what pieces of myself I could still cling to.
I had to act while I still had control and sanity.
I turned to Tshabina. She stood frozen, watching me, her brows furrowing.
She was about to call my name, but Cindy lunged first. Her hands clamped tight around my face, pressing it hard and holding me in place.
I tried to shove her off, but she clung on.
Her face pressed closer, and I shoved her back with a snarl.
This bloody shit, just fucking die already!
Cindy was flung away, but quick as ever, she snatched one of my AirPods and leaned close, whispering into my ear.
There was a sharp glint in her eyes. Her smile stretched wider, and then, she began to whisper. “Look at her,” Cindy murmured, and through the corner of her eye, I saw Tshabina. She was still standing there, staring at me.
“Look at her properly, Zioh.” She lowered her voice. “Remember who she really is.”
I told you, Zioh, you fool. You’re so broken. Because you forgot, that’s the traitor. The whore. The destroyer.
My chest thundered. Everything felt like it faded out... The silence was so heavy that the voices became deafening
“Remember? She’s Sophie,” Cindy breathed, so softly, it made me look at Tshabina like that. Sophie. Sophie.
That name hit me like a blow to my stomach, enough to make the sudden burn climb up my throat.
I stared at Cindy. I didn’t understand, but... my body felt lighter, as if I had become nothing more than a hollow shell. I trembled, yet felt nothing.
“Please, please, no mummy…” A hollow ache opened as black memories flickered back as though a broken tape inside my head. Memories that were so painful, torturous, and destructive. “Wake up! WAKE UP!” I slammed my fists against my head when my own scream from my past rang inside my head.
My vision grew emptier. My body refused to obey any command to move.
Especially as those voices kept seeping into me.
With a slow, deliberate motion, Cindy plucked the last AirPod from my ear, silencing my world.
Her fingers trailed down my cheek, a cold caress that pulled me closer, drawing me into her.
“She’s Sophie, Zioh. Remember?” Cindy pressed, speaking low inside me. “She’s the one who killed Mama Nadine.”
My chest tightened.
Killed. She killed her, and now you have forgotten. My mum. The beginning of everything falling apart.
I tried shaking my head as the voices grew louder. I clenched my fists hard, trying to feel pain, but all I could feel was numbness.
My breath came in sharp bursts. “You remember, don’t you?” My pulse roared in my ears, my head aching and spinning. “You should feel sorry for Mama Nadine, Zi.” My eyes fell on the photos that had dropped to the floor. Murder.
“Hhh.”
“She. Is. The murderer.”
A deafening ringing roared in my ears.
I growled as a voice before me called out in worry. I shut my eyes, shaking my head harder. “Enough.” I hit my head again, trying to stop it, but it grew louder. “Shut the fuck up!”
Cindy shook me. “Look at me!” I snapped my eyes to hers. “It’s me, Zi… It’s me.” It was her. It… was her? “I’m the one you promised to protect. The one you promised to make happy. You promised we’d always be together, didn’t you?”
It’s her.
Is it her?
“I’m her,” she whispered. My eyes melted into hers, my chest full. “I’m her, remember?” A tear rolled from my eye.
Look closely. She’s the one you gave your promise to, your love.
My gaze fixed on her, my heart racing. I’m sorry. “The one you love, remember? You promised me,” she murmured.
I’m sorry. My hand reached out, stroking her cheek gently. I let out a shaky breath… How could I forget?
My breath grew ragged, my cold hand caressing her.
It’s her, Zioh. And there, right there in front of you. That’s Sophie. The voices filled my ears, my head, and my hearing. Loud and clear.
Female and male. Them.
Voices that had always accompanied me as if a part of my soul, always speaking around me. Voices only I could hear, for years, since I was a teenager.
From the start, I’d known there was something wrong with me, the reason my father called me crazy, defective, and the reason my mum and my brother begged me to get treatment.
At first, faces. Scents. Only I could see it. Only I could smell it.
And then them.
A part of me.
Oh my… look at her, you idiot. How could you forget her?
They kept speaking, judging me, insulting me, answering for me, commanding me.
How pathetic. You’re a monster. You actually forgot the one who killed your mother.
Those voices screamed in my ears, leaving me panting as I stared at the woman before me—Sophie. “Yes, fucking slag,” I said as I looked at her.
Murderer. Traitor.
Sophie froze, trembling at my words. Disgust filled my stomach as I met her eyes. Bloody whore.
Something soft touched my cheek, pulling my focus to the woman beside me. My eyes fixed, unable to break the pull of her stare. You should feel guilty for her.
I swallowed.
It’s her. The one you love and cherish. You promised, Zioh. Yes, you did.
They kept shouting.
WHAT A FUCKING FOOL.
I loved her so much…
I clamped my lips shut. My hands and gaze melted into hers as her soft hand stroked my cheek. I raised my hand to return the gesture. “I’m so sorry…” I murmured. Her beautiful smile widened as she kissed my palm.
Sophie stepped forward, and my body tensed. Her breath quickened. Her hand reached to touch—but I lunged.
My rough hand snatched and flung her arm away. I shoved her, and Sophia stumbled, slamming into the wall behind her. I barked, “Don’t you fucking dare to touch her!”
Sophie’s eyes widened. She stared at me, and I stared back, my eyes burned with anger.
I loathe you. Whore. Destroyer. Thief.
That's a pretty venomous face. It’s her fault, all of it, because of her.
My body stiffened, a harsh breath released from my lungs, each inhale laced with fury.
Strangle her, kill her just like she killed your mum. Take her breath, just like she took your mum’s, just like she took yours.
Just like she took mine.
A soft hand gripped my shoulder, warm breath brushed my neck, and a low voice whispered in my ear. “She’s the one who killed Mama Nadine,” dark. The noises crawled inside me. “What did you see of Mama Nadine that night? Do you still remember?” My body shook. Blood. Mum, my mum…
My eyes burned as Sophia’s face came into clear view again. Because of you! “Then you know what you do, don’t you?”
She made your father obsessed and betrayed Mum. She used that beauty to stab your family, stab Mum!
Dark.
So… dark.
I lunged at Sophie, my hand closing around her neck. I slammed her into the wall. She trembled, her whole body shaking with panic and fear. Her tears streamed unchecked down her cheeks. How dare she cry! We were more destroyed by her!
Sophie’s trembling hands tried to push mine from her throat, sobs tearing from her. “Zi… Zi-Zioh, please.” Her sobs grew louder, and something inside me snapped. I wanted to muffle her, to stop her voice from ever reaching me again. “What’s wrong with you?”
You hate her.
My breath jagged.
Her whole body shook, crying and wailing, especially as my grip tightened. I made her scream in panic. “Wake up, Zioh, it’s me!!!”
I’m awake. It’s you. Murderer. Murderer. Traitor. Traitor.
Sophia, who made Mum die!
My gaze darkened. “Yes… It’s you,” I spat. “It’s fucking you, Sophie.”
My grip tightened. “It’s because of you,” I glared, pouring out all the darkness inside me. “You slag!”
Sophie shook her head, breath shallow and quick. Her tears streaming, pleading with her eyes. “You fucking ruin me!” I screamed in pain. “Ruin my family!”
Destroyer. “You should never have come,” I yelled, feeling the burning in my chest crawl upward, stinging my eyes. “You should never have moved into our neighbourhood and become a fucking whore who ruined my family. RUINED EVERYTHING!”
Fuck. You.
SHE RUINED EVERYTHING.
KILL HER!
As my grip tightened further, Sophie screamed. “Zioh!! Please Zi—”
I released my hold, sending her sprawling and coughing. I grabbed her arms and shook her. “You did it on purpose, didn’t you?!” I demanded in rage. She was a lie. All our memories, all the affection she gave me… a lie. “You destroyed my family on purpose, didn’t you?! Huh?!”
Bloody traitor!
Sophie shook her head fast, pain flashing in her eyes, her tears pouring as if that was all she could do. Playing the victim when she started it. This whore who wrecked everything. She had stolen her, had stolen my mum, had stolen my life… she should die.
Shaking her, I shouted at her in pain. “You were designed to destroy my life, weren’t you, Sophie?!” I barked the words out. “You’re a murderer, Sophia!” She trembled, and her red eyes were wide with fear.
My murderer. Because I had never lived again after what she had done.
You took my life.
“You’re a fucking slag!!”
Sophie sobbed hard. I glared at her, full of darkness and hatred. “Leave!” I snarled. “Never show your face ever again!”
My tears fell. My grip tightened, pain crawling out of me, out of her. “Murderer.”
She trembled and sobbed beneath me. “Go,” I ordered, releasing her. “Get your fucking face out of mine, Sophia,” I hissed one last time. “Slag.”