Chapter 8
eight
HARLOW
Watching Cal panic every morning before he leaves for the studio is getting exhausting and it’s month two. I’ve already done this every morning for a month. I’m tired.
“You have everything you need, right? Diapers? Formula? What if she gets sick? Did I leave her pediatrician information?” He asks, pulling at his hair. It’s sticking up all over the place from him pulling on it for the last half hour.
“Callahan!” I shout, getting his attention and making Cora giggle. He stops at the sound of my voice but smiles at Cora’s. When I’m certain I have his attention, I continue. “We have more than enough of everything and even if we didn’t, you gave me a credit card for that exact purpose.”
“Right, but what if you need to leave —”
“Car seat is in my car that you took to the fire station to have checked.”
“Her doctor —”
“Which I’ve been to. On my first day.”
“Okay. Yeah. Right.”
“Are you going to be like this every day? How long does it take to record an album?” I ask, trying to make a joke, but I’m actually curious if this is how every morning will be going.
Cal plops down onto the couch, elbows on his knees, face in his hands and sighs.
I set Cora down in front of him with her blocks and take the seat next to him. Placing my hand on his thigh, I squeeze gently.
“What are you feeling?” I ask. He turns his head to look at me, and I almost gasp at the anguish there.
“Cora already doesn’t have a mom and now I feel like I’m abandoning her too. Not that Bailey abandoned her. But I’m leaving her for a long time. I’m missing a lot of time with her. What if I miss her first word? Her first steps? Her first anything?” His gaze is pleading with me to give him answers.
“She may not have a mom, but she has a dad who would do absolutely anything for her, and that’s so much more than a lot of people have. Plus, add the family you’ve created around her, and she’s one lucky little girl.” I smile softly when the corner of his mouth turns up slightly. “And if she tries to take her first step without you, I’ll push her back down.”
Cal fully laughs at that. I grab his hand, making sure he’s still paying attention to me. And he is definitely paying attention. His gaze snaps to where our hands join, but he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he wraps his fingers around my hand and squeezes.
“The only thing you can do as a parent is your best. Not every choice you make will be the right one. Not every piece of advice you give her will be helpful. You’re going to fuck up. It’s just how it is. But you’re also going to do so many things right. You love that little girl, and you’d give your next breath to make her happy. You’re a great dad, Cal.”
“Thanks, Firecracker,” he whispers, a small smile on his face. I wish I could take some of his pain away, but I don’t think there’s much that can take away the guilt parents feel. Especially single parents.
“How about this?” I say, coming up with a compromise. Cal raises an eyebrow. “What if Cora and I go to the studio for a little? I’ll take her stroller with me. Jo and I can take her to walk around Faneuil Hall Marketplace when you break for lunch, and then I’ll take her home at naptime.”
“Really?” he asks, face brightening as a huge smile breaks out on his face. I just nod and laugh at his excitement.
“Do you want to come see Daddy at work, baby girl?” Cal asks Cora, scooping her up off the ground. She lets out an angry cry at first, but she soon catches onto Cal’s excitement and starts squealing with happiness. She’s just happy because her dad is happy.
Their happiness is infectious and soon my face is hurting from how hard I’m smiling.
I have Cora strapped in a carrier on my chest as we watch the band get ready. I’m behind the glass with their manager, Jon, and the producer who introduced himself as Geoff. Jo is behind me on a red leather sofa, answering emails on her phone.
Cora’s eyes are wide as she takes everything in. She seems especially interested in all the switches and lights on the equipment that Geoff is sitting in front of. He keeps glancing over his shoulder at her like she can somehow reach twenty feet in front of her and mess with his settings. Which really only makes me want to mess with them myself.
“We’re ready when you are,” Cal’s voice comes through the speaker. Cora screams with excitement when she hears her dad’s voice. Everyone laughs at the sound. Well, everyone except Geoff who is now glaring.
Who glares at babies?
“It gets loud in here, and I need to be able to hear the music in order to adjust. Not really a great place to have a whiny baby,” Geoff says to me.
I smile sweetly. “That’s very true. I hope you can’t hear yourself whine through those headphones,” I say, pointing to the ones around his neck. He scoffs as his face turns an angry shade of red.
“I will not have this in my studio!” Geoff bellows, standing from his chair. Jon steps forward, like he’s going to physically restrain the man.
“Not your studio,” Jo says calmly, not even looking up from her phone.
“Excuse me?” Geoff bellows, again. Does the man have a normal tone of voice?
“Not. Your. Studio.” Jo repeats, still not sparing him a glance.
“I’ll have you know —” There he goes, bellowing some more.
“No. I’ll have you know,” Jo says, putting her phone down and standing slowly. Geoff’s mouth is open, and he’s so red he’s almost purple. “This studio space is being rented by Nep-Tunes. You work for Nep-Tunes. An outside company owns this studio.”
“While I’m here, it’s my studio, and I do not want you or the bitch with the baby here!” Geoff is practically screaming now. I have my hands over Cora’s ears. The window is one way, and I’m guessing no one can hear us because they’re all in there, just tuning their instruments and talking.
Jo laughs. I know that laugh. This man is in trouble. “Do you know who owns Nep-Tunes?”
“Logan West,” Geoff scoffs at her, like she’s some stupid little girl.
Jo smiles wickedly. “Very good. Now do you know the name of the lead singer of Shattered Halo?”
“Is this a fucking joke?” Geoff says, face still purple, but at least his tone has calmed down.
“I’ve never been accused of being funny.” Jo crosses her arms and waits.
“Callahan Griffin,” Geoff bites out like it’s painful.
“Good boy. Now, as I’m quite sure you do not know, Callahan Griffin is cousins with Amelia West. They grew up together. Very close.”
“West?” Geoff pales now, and I can’t help but find it interesting how quickly his face changes colors.
“Yes. Amelia West. Beloved wife of Logan West. Cousin to Callahan and Bellamy Griffin,” Jo says, making a show of checking her nails and not bothering to look at Geoff any longer.
“I — I —” Geoff stutters. “Does the baby really need to be here?” he asks eventually, still kind of yelling, but now I’m wondering if that’s how he always sounds.
“The baby? Yes. You? No,” Jo says, flicking her hand in dismissal.
“You can’t —”
“I very much can. And if anyone in that room finds out how you just spoke to an eight-month-old, you’d lose more than just your job.”
Geoff’s doing his best interpretation of a fish as he looks between Jo and Jon.
“You should probably leave,” Jon says with a shrug.
Geoff storms out, slamming the door. Cora starts crying at the loud sound. She stayed quiet the entire time Geoff was yelling, but I think she just found his antics amusing. The door slamming was too much, though.
“It’s okay, pretty girl. Let’s watch your daddy sing,” I tell her, swaying back and forth to calm her. Once she’s settled, Jon gets on the mic, pressing a button that allows him to speak to the band.
“Geoff had to step out. Let’s work on the third track and take it from there.”
“You got it,” Cal says, taking his place behind his mic stand.
“I’ll turn the volume down, so it isn’t blaring in here,” Jon says, smiling at Cora when she blows raspberries at him.
“No need. Willa grabbed these when Cal told her Cora would be here,” Jo says, handing over a small pair of headphones. I raise an eyebrow in question and Jo just shrugs. “Apparently, Cal was being so difficult about hiring a nanny that everyone just assumed Cora would be at the studio every day with them.”
I laugh as I position the headphones over Cora’s ears. She seems confused and grabs at them, but I distract her with a teething cracker. I kiss the top of her head and watch Cal start singing.
I don’t know what I was expecting. I’ve heard their songs, his voice. Of course, I have. They’re the kids from our small hometown that got out and made it big. I also worked in radio and wouldn’t have been able to escape them even if I wanted to.
Cal’s voice travels throughout the room and straight to my vagina. Has his voice always been this sexy? It’s deep and smooth, like a set of warm, strong arms surrounding you. It’s not just his voice, though. It’s his whole presence. The confidence he exudes as he stands there and belts out the upbeat song. The way he sways behind the mic, his eyes pinched shut as he feels the lyrics and the music.
A finger under my chin snaps my mouth shut from where it was apparently hanging open. I peel my gaze away from Cal long enough to find Jo standing next to me, amusement dancing in her eyes.
“They’re pretty good, right?” Jo asks, laughter in her voice. I know she’s making fun of me right now, but I’m too shocked to care.
I knew I was attracted to Cal. You’d have to be blind not to be. Probably deaf too, because his voice is sexy by itself.
But this is a whole new level of attraction. And I live with the man.
Fuck.
The music fades as my brain wars with my heart. Or vagina. Both, probably.
“I think that man just sang your panties off,” Jo jokes. I give her a halfhearted glare and turn to Jon.
“How are you doing anything without a producer?” I ask him, trying to distract myself, but actually curious.
“Oh, I’m not. I mean, I know enough that I could probably be of some help, but the space is already rented. So I’m just going to make them practice until lunch,” Jon says, shrugging.
“Can I say something to them?” I ask, trying to smile innocently, but Jon shakes his head and sighs.
“Today is a bust anyway, so have at it.” He shows me which button to press.
“You were kind of pitchy, VD,” I say into the mic. I watch Cal’s eyes go wide and then narrow in annoyance.
“VD? What does that stand for?” Mav asks him. Cal’s eyes go wide again, and I’m laughing so hard that Cora is bouncing in front of me. She’s laughing along with me.
“That’s my girl,” I tell her as I continue to laugh at her dad’s attempts at dodging the question.
“Ew, Cal. Do you have a venereal disease?” Belle asks, looking horrified, which just makes me laugh harder.
“Harlow!” Cal yells, stomping towards the door that will bring him into this room.
“Oh, shit!” I yelp as I try to duck behind Jo. Cora is squealing and giggling. She’s loving every moment of this. I’m glad because it’s probably the last she’s going to get with me as her nanny, judging by the murderous expression on her dad’s face.
Willa runs past him and slips into the room first. “You have to tell us what VD stands for!”
“She does not!” Cal yells. His expression softens significantly when he sees how funny both Cora and I are finding this. Probably more so Cora than me. “Are you having fun, baby girl?” he asks Cora, cupping her cheek gently. He takes her from the carrier and hands her to Belle. Then his gaze turns to me and where I expected to find fury, there’s something else entirely. Something a lot closer to lust.
“Oops,” I whisper.
“Yeah, oops,” Cal says, pushing a stray hair behind my ear. He leans closer, his cheek against mine and his palm on my lower back. “You’re asking for me to take you over my knee.”
My breath hitches in my throat. My cheeks are on fire.
“Tell me, Firecracker. Do you enjoy making me angry? I can hear the way your breathing changed when you thought about my palm on your sweet ass. Is that what you want? You want me to spank you?” His breath tickles my ear, his hand hot against my back. Every nerve in my body is acutely aware of this man.
“N-no,” I say, but it sounds like a question.
Cal chuckles and it’s low and full of sex. “I bet if I slid my hand in your panties right now, I would find evidence that says otherwise.” He backs up then and turns to his friends like he just didn’t melt my brain.
I touch my face and feel how warm my cheeks are. I look up to see Cal’s dark brown eyes locked on me, a victorious smirk on his face.
Fine.
He wants to play. I can play too.
“VD stands for Vocal Daddy. Cal loves it when I call him that,” I announce to the room. Cal’s mouth drops open, and Willa laughs loudly. Kai and Belle look just as shocked. Mav is smiling but doesn’t seem surprised. I glare at Jo, and she shrugs. She definitely told him. Traitor.
Cal’s face is now just as red as mine, and he’s glaring at me. I walk up to him and get close enough for him to hear me as I whisper, “I’m not wearing any panties.” I watch him long enough to see his eyes dilate and his jaw clench.
Turning, I grab Cora. “Jo and I are going to lunch. She fired Geoff.”
There are a lot of questions, but Jo directs them to Jon, who seems less than enthusiastic about having to answer them.
“See you at home, Vocal Daddy!” I throw over my shoulder, not bothering to see any reactions as I walk out the door.
Silently hoping I’ll pay for it later, but terrified my heart will pay too.