Chapter 17 Sage
Sage
I opened my eyes to once again find myself lying on the floor of my Garden suite, Sir West’s enormous frame looming above me.
Lord Quill’s meditation hadn’t worked this time, either. Not that I’d expected it to. I’d only been meditating for two nights now, but a girl could hope.
The novices’ evening class about the Gray and the shadow monsters had taken longer than my half shift in the stables had during the previous rotation, and I’d made a point to practice my meditation afterward, forcing me to stay up later than usual.
But even the exhaustion of trying to sit still in a classroom and listen to a lecture and then going to bed late hadn’t helped.
Father, all I wanted was to sleep.
But I wasn’t and there wasn’t anything I could do about it right now.
With a sigh, I pushed myself to my feet, wondering who my chaperone for this evening would be.
I swept my gaze around the room. For some strange reason I wasn’t in the middle of the room like I usually was. I was beside the… broken door? With Sir West standing guard at the entrance.
What the hell had happened now?
Sir West had his hand on the hilt of his sword but didn’t look worried — if the man ever looked anything other than grim — instead he looked more on guard. So either whatever had happened wasn’t serious, or it was over.
The rest of the sitting room looked the same with the soft golden glow from the elegant chandeliers and the fire in the hearth illuminating the ornate furniture, the tapestries, the various ornaments dotting tables and the mantle.
The balcony doors were open, and the pale glowing flowers ringing the balcony railing trembled in the night breeze.
And there by the balcony doors, partially hidden in shadows, stood Lord Rider, his back rigid and his gaze firmly fixed on a point somewhere just over my head.
I’d thought he’d just been here the other night to support Lord Quill and Talon and that he didn’t actually care about me.
Except if that were the case, it didn’t make sense he’d be here… now.
Regardless, I knew without a doubt that Rider wanted a mate as much as Talon did, so tonight was going to be uncomfortable and awkward. I could only pray he wasn’t going to try to pretend to flirt with me like Talon had.
Rider shifted from one foot to the other, his discomfort clear, making me wonder why he’d volunteered to take a shift watching over me to begin with.
The last time we’d been alone in the Garden, he’d literally disappeared into thin air. Now he was voluntarily in my suite.
Through the open balcony doorway beside him, I could see the distant lights from other rooms in the Divine Residence and the soft glow of flowers in the Garden below.
The muscles in Lord Rider’s jaw flexed and he shifted his weight again.
The silence stretched between us.
Rider’s fingers tapped against his thigh, then stilled. His jaw worked as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.
I curled my fingers into the gauzy fabric of my dress, seeking something to do besides just stand there and stare at him.
Maybe I should sit.
Maybe I should retreat to my bedroom and leave him with Lord-Even-Less-Chatty, Sir West. The two of them could glare at each other all night.
Except that wasn’t fair to him.
I might not like Rider or trust him to have anything but his own interest in mind, but he was here, giving up his evening, to ensure I was safe. Perhaps I should be more cordial.
Quill was nice to me.
Maybe Rider wanted to be friends, too.
He didn’t know I was the annoying novice in the Gray. Here, I was just some woman who’d been attacked that he knew nothing about.
“So,” I said. “Have you ah… Have you been waiting long?”
Rider’s silver eyes flickered to mine for a brief moment before darting away.
“Yes,” he replied, his voice gruff.
Well. So much for conversation.
His eyes widened as if he just realized what he’d said.
“But I don’t mind,” he added in a rush. “We agreed to take turns and tonight’s my turn.”
Which confirmed my suspicion that he didn’t really want to be here.
“You’re ah… safe here. With us, I mean. With me.” The words came out stilted, awkward.
Outside, laughter and music from the courtyard drifted up through the night air. Inside, the only sound was Rider’s measured breathing, deliberately controlled as if he were forcing himself to remain calm. I shifted my weight, the soft rustle of my dress unnaturally loud in the quiet room.
“I—” Rider cleared his throat. “There are clothes.”
I raised my eyebrows in question. “Clothes?”
“Yes, Quill arranged for them. He had them delivered because you can’t—” His gaze slid down my body, his pupils dilating, and a hint of a feral look flashed through his expression.
A traitorous sliver of desire raced down my spine before his attention jumped back up to my cleavage… which wasn’t overly impressive because of my slight frame and—
Right. My mating marks. He was looking at my mating marks, not my figure.
And jeez, why did I even care what he thought of me? I wasn’t interested in him. I didn’t want him as a mate. I didn’t want anyone as a mate. It made no sense that my feelings would be hurt because I’d confirmed he believed being here was his duty and nothing more.
I crossed my arms, suddenly feeling exposed and embarrassed to think that Rider would look at me with desire, or that I’d even want him to.
He jerked his gaze back up to my eyes. “He didn’t tell anyone why you wanted them. Only that you did,” he added, as if that was what had made me uncomfortable. “They’re in the wardrobe. In the bedroom.”
He gestured to the opulent bedroom that everyone assumed was mine even though the smaller bed in the other bedroom was too small for Sir West.
I hurried inside, and Rider and West followed as if I couldn’t figure out where the wardrobe was or how to change my clothes by myself.
Heat bled across my cheeks.
Were they going to stand there and watch me change?
“Quill thought you might want options,” Rider said, as he stepped past me to the large, intricately carved wardrobe that stood against the far wall and pulled open its doors.
Inside hung at least a dozen dresses in different colors. I stepped closer and reached out, brushing my fingers over the different fabrics.
Most were made of a combination of the same gauzy, lacy material as my current dress, but a few were less lace and gauze and more silk.
There were a variety of styles, but all of them had high collars and necklines that would completely cover my dormant mating marks.
To make up for the less than revealing front, all of them were backless or had high slits up the sides, revealing almost the same amount of skin as my original barely-there dress just in different places.
“You should try them on,” Rider said, his voice gruff.
“Of course.”
“Quill thought the green one might look nice on you.”
There were two green dresses, one a bright emerald the color of Lord Quill’s eyes, the other a softer, paler shade of green.
“Well, I’ll—” He jerked his chin toward the door.
“Right.”
He turned, his broad shoulders blocking the doorway. “If you need anything, you can ask. I mean, you can ask me.” The words came out in a rush and he hurried out.
What was with him tonight? Lord Rider was gruff and awkward, but tonight he’d been… strange. Stranger than the last time we’d talked in the Garden. Was it something to do with the broken door? Or was something else going on?
Sir West gave me a tight nod then left as well, leaving the bedroom door open a crack, and I bit back a sigh. I supposed if I really wanted to guarantee my privacy, I could haul all the dresses to the bathing room.
Except I couldn’t help wondering if Sir West would insist I leave that door open a crack as well since I was alone.
I turned back to the wardrobe, running my fingers over the fabrics. There were deep blues and rich purples, the two different greens and a warm gold. The material slipped between my fingers, impossibly soft and worth more than anything I’d ever worn in my life.
Even before my father had died and my mother had remarried Edred, our family hadn’t wasted our wealth on lavish clothing. We hadn’t wasted it on anything lavish. It had been more important to ensure we had a well-equipped guard to protect our lands against brigands.
I pulled out the emerald dress. It had gold threads woven through it that caught the light and would probably look good on me with my green eyes and bright red hair. But if I wore it, I’d match Lord Quill.
Would that be considered a sign that I was aligning myself with him? That seemed like something the fae court might do… although I hadn’t seen many fae wearing white, the same color as the High Priestess.
I thought back, trying to remember if I’d seen anyone in white, but I couldn’t recall either way.
There weren’t any white dresses in the wardrobe, so it might be best to assume white was reserved for the High Priestess herself and perhaps those closest to Her Brilliance.
Which still didn’t answer the question of whether wearing a dress that matched someone’s usual clothes indicated a relationship of some kind like it did in human courts.
And I was probably making this more complicated than it needed to be.
I was already wearing a red dress. It was probably safest to wear a different red dress, then no one could make any kind of assumptions about my change of clothing.
The last thing I needed was to accidentally signal an alliance I didn’t understand to people who played games I didn’t know the rules to.