Chapter 25
Sage
It was the end of the day, and I hurried into my room, threw the door shut, and pressed my back against it. Aching need twisted through me, hot and desperate, and I couldn’t catch my breath, couldn’t think past the throbbing heat that refused to fade.
It was a miracle I’d made it through the evening without turning into a complete mess in front of everyone. Father! Why was it so bad now?
I’d thought everything was fine. I’d somehow struggled through the sparring session without embarrassing myself then grabbed the bag of rocks and ran the trail with Tyon.
During the run, Talon’s allure had faded, and I’d foolishly thought because Talon couldn’t see me or I couldn’t see him or we weren’t anywhere near each other, his allure wouldn’t affect me anymore.
But during the evening class, the achy need had flared again, sudden and overwhelming, sinking deeper into my core, making it impossible to sit still and concentrate even though Talon hadn’t been anywhere in sight. I doubt he’d even been anywhere near the lesson room.
With trembling fingers, I unbuckled my sword belt and tossed my sword onto the bed. My too-large pants sagged, hanging low on my hips, and I slipped my hand down the front of them, and dipped my fingers straight to where I needed them most.
Sensation shot through me at the first brushing touch against my sensitive nub, and I tipped my head back against the door, biting my lip to hold back a groan.
Damn Talon and his allure. Damn how beautiful he was. Damn that traitorous drop of water trailing down his naked chest that lived forever branded inside my mind.
My breath hitched and I shoved that thought as far back as I could. I didn’t want to desire Talon. I didn’t trust him, not as he was in the Gray and most certainly not as whoever he was pretending to be in the Garden.
I pressed my fingers harder, circling my nub, and heat spread through my core. My hips rocked forward, my body seeking a release I’d been denying since this afternoon. Father, I felt as desperate — maybe more desperate — than I did before Wells’ and Crane’s spell sent my mating marks into a frenzy.
My thoughts slipped back to Talon and the magnificent view of his chest, his abs, his—
No. Stop thinking about him. Think of someone, anyone, else.
Fantasy Man. Ash. Think about him.
He was the only one I could trust. He made me feel safe. And he’d brought me more pleasure than I’d ever experienced in my life.
My desire jerked, as if thinking about Ash made my yearning stronger. I ached for his touch, for his fingers against my sensitive skin instead of mine, teasing me, brushing achingly close to where I wanted him most then pulling away.
He’d slide a finger inside me while his tongue worked my nub, licking and sucking until I couldn’t breathe.
He’d build me to the edge again and again then ease back, his fingers pushing in and out and curling just right while his mouth tortured me.
Quick sudden flicks of his tongue, then long, slow, powerful ones that surged heated need through my entire body and stole my breath.
Father, I could almost hear his low masculine groan of satisfaction when he finally came inside me, his cock pulsing hard.
The heat inside me swirled brighter, stronger, building, expanding, overflowing.
My thoughts spun and the memories of him flooded me.
Ash filling me. Ash trembling just like me, both of us panting with need.
He’d gripped my hips, holding me steady while he pushed inside with that incredible slick pressure.
His cock had stretched me, filled me completely.
He’d moved slowly at first, giving my body time to adjust, then harder and faster, his fingers digging into my flesh.
The groans that had rumbled from his chest, as shivers of bliss had washed through me.
My fingers moved faster, my breath turned ragged, and my legs trembled. I was close. So close. I needed this, needed the release. Needed him.
I pressed harder against my nub, my hips rocking in rhythm with my hand as my need spiraled tighter. Heat burned in my core, flaring hotter and hotter until pleasure crashed over me.
I bit down hard on my lip to keep from crying out and stars exploded behind my lids. My muscles clenched tight, straining and trembling, and I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, could only ride the waves pulsing through me.
With a strangled moan, my legs gave out, and I sagged to the floor, breathing hard.
The memory of Ash kissing me face to face in that conception room after the attack rose to the front of my mind. That first brush of our lips had been soft and tender, and my heart had ached at his fear over his scarred face.
My throat tightened. He’d thought he was hideous, thought I’d be afraid of him.
How could I possibly be afraid of him?
He’d comforted me, protected me, satisfied me from the very moment I’d entered the Garden and hadn’t asked for anything in return. He’d made me feel precious, something I hadn’t felt in a very, very long time, not since before my parents had died.
My eyes burned with tears of frustration and heartache. I wanted Ash back, wanted the safety of his embrace, wanted the surety that he wasn’t trying to manipulate me.
Father, why couldn’t he be the man waiting for me in the Garden instead of the others?
But he wouldn’t be because the fae’s High Priestess was mean and manipulative.
No, the only way I’d be able to be with him again was if Crane and the others were brought to justice. Then I’d be safe and able to leave the Divine Residence.
I released a shaky sigh. The desperation burning inside me had eased — a bit — but Talon’s allure still hummed under my skin, a yearning I could only hope would fade by morning.
And there wasn’t anything I could do about my heartache for Ash other than endure and wait.
Surely Crane would be caught. Surely I’d be free to do what I wanted after that.
My eyes burned and I closed them, fighting back my tears.
If Rider, Quill, and Talon kept to their schedule, my best guess was that Rider would be waiting for me tonight.
Which was the best of three bad options. I was still attracted to him, but he wasn’t heartbreakingly tender and attentive like Quill, and he didn’t have Talon’s frustrating allure and even more frustrating flirting.
With luck, he’d let me retreat to my bedroom in the suite and I’d spend the night tossing and turning trying to ignore the fact that West was staring at me through the crack in the door.
With a groan, I crawled onto my bed and pressed my palms against my eyes. Meditation. I should probably try meditating. Maybe if I practiced enough, I’d stop manifesting in the Garden, and the ache of missing Ash and Talon’s allure would go away completely.
I sucked in a slow breath and released it, then another, and another. I had to focus on the spark in my chest, feel my lungs fill with air, hold it, then release slowly. Just like Lord Quill had taught me.
Once.
Twice.
The darkness behind my eyelids should have been calming.
Father, I desperately wanted it to be. But my pulse kept jumping and my thoughts wouldn’t settle.
Please, not tonight. Not when I was already fighting the damn allure.
If I could just make it through one night without manifesting, maybe the allure would fade. Maybe I could get back some control.
Someone cleared their throat, the sound deep and masculine.
Shit.
I was back in the Garden. I had to be since I hadn’t heard my bedroom door open, and my mattress had gotten as hard as a floor.
Groaning, I dropped my hands. This time I hadn’t even realized I’d fallen asleep.
Wonderful.
Above me, Sir West glared down at me, his expression hard, emotionless verging on angry, the same as it always was every time I opened my eyes in the Garden and looked up, up, up at him.
“The High Priestess has summoned you,” he said, his voice flat with no hint about how he felt about that.
My pulse lurched, and my stomach twisted tight, making it hard to breathe.
The throne room flashed through my mind with all those courtiers staring at me, whispering about me. Their hungry, curious gazes weighing on me, boxing me in, making everything within me scream to get smaller, as small as possible.
And that woman! I didn’t want to see her again, didn’t want her bestowing me with that fake smile, amused by my stammering. I didn’t want her to even remember I existed.
But I was her new toy and had known a summons was inevitable.
My throat tightened. I needed more time to recover before facing her games again. The few days I’d been hiding in my suite hadn’t been nearly enough.
And of course, she’d had to make the summons when I was once again struggling with my desire. It was as if she’d known.
Except I knew that was impossible. There was no way the High Priestess could have known Talon’s allure had overwhelmed me that afternoon. Even if she’d somehow figured out I was a human pretending to be a fae, she couldn’t have known I was also a woman pretending to be a man in the Gray.
Could she?
Oh, Father!
No. I couldn’t think that. This was a coincidence. I’d clearly been hiding in my room, and I’d been told that she’d summon me eventually. Tonight just happened to be the night. If I was lucky, she’d make it quick, and I could get back to the suite and try to return to my body.
The thought was so ridiculous I almost laughed. Or cried. I wasn’t sure which.
Even in the brief experience I’d had with her, the High Priestess didn’t strike me as anyone who did anything quickly. Our previous interaction had been calculated, drawn out, and designed to make me squirm. This wouldn’t be different and I wasn’t in a position to refuse.
I sucked in a steadying breath that did little to actually steady the uncertainty and ache whirling inside me and took Sir West’s outstretched hand. My legs shook as I stood and I locked my knees to keep from swaying.
Everything would be all right. Rider would be here, and he’d keep back and out of the way like he had before. He wouldn’t draw more attention to me than I’d already drawn to myself or what the High Priestess drew to me.
I glanced over to the couch… where Talon sat.
No.
No no no no.
For a heartbeat, the expression on his breathtakingly beautiful face was unreadable as if he knew what I was thinking. Then his lips curled into a wickedly flirtatious smile.
His allure flared with a hot, achy spike that flushed through my entire body before it sank low in my belly, pulsing and throbbing.
For the love of—
Worst. Day. Ever.