Chapter 37
Quill
I manifested near the side door of the Divine Residence, where the stone walls gave way to a half-wooden archway draped in flowering vines.
The soft glow of pink and white blooms traced the edges of the alcove, but inside, shadows pooled thick and dark.
The night air carried the sweet scent of the blossoms, and I breathed it in, letting it settle in my lungs.
The ball was tonight, there were still three attackers at large, and Sage was going to be surrounded by strangers who wanted her for themselves — and I doubted all of the men in the High Priestess’s courts had honest intentions.
The alcove, our new meeting spot where we met with Ash for updates on the novices, lay only a few feet away, and I stepped inside its gloom intending to wait for him.
But a figure moved from deeper within the shadows at the back of the secluded space, and Ash stepped forward.
He angled the scarred side of his face away from the faint glow of the flowers that ringed the mouth of the alcove, the habit ingrained so deeply he probably didn’t notice he did it anymore.
The lines around his unscarred eye were deeper than usual, and his jaw was tight. He looked exhausted, worn down, and I didn’t know if it was just because he was juggling too many duties or if there was more going on… like being separated from Sage.
Sure, her mating marks had been put to sleep, but some of them had already turned green. Her soul had picked a mate, and Ash was the only one in the Garden she’d gotten close to.
It made sense that she’d bond with Ash, even if neither of them had realized it yet, and would explain why he looked so worn down. Being separated from your mate when the bond first formed could cause exhaustion and pain.
Except that was just a theory. I had no proof and now wasn’t the time to bring it up. Sage would manifest soon, I’d promised her that I’d be at the ball with her, and I needed Ash’s report on the novices to ensure things hadn’t taken a turn for the worse.
“How are the novices?” I asked, my thoughts jumping to Sawyer.
The need to protect him, to find his sister, to take care of them both flared.
Damn it. I’d managed to hold it back all day, despite not being able to see him and ensure he was safe because it was a lieu day.
I needed to pull myself together and focus. I couldn’t afford to be distracted and endanger Sage.
“Sawyer and Tyon stayed in the Tower. Everyone else went to Lehyrst.” His expression darkened. “Durand hasn’t tried anything. Yet. But it’s just a matter of time. He was still complaining about the boy scoring points on him in sparring three days ago.”
The urge to send my spirit back to my body swelled through me and I gritted my teeth.
He. Was. Fine.
Nothing was going to happen tonight.
Goddess, what was wrong with me? I barely knew the boy. I’d spent even less time with his sister. Why couldn’t I stop thinking about them?
Focus.
“The ball is in the main ballroom,” I forced out.
“Of course it is,” Ash said with a huff. “Sage is her new toy. She wants to make the biggest statement possible.”
Which was exactly the kind of game my mother liked to play.
I shifted my weight. “We don’t know when Sage will manifest. She usually arrives anytime between now and an hour from now, but there’s no guarantee she’ll keep the same schedule.”
Ash shrugged, unsurprised. “There never is.”
“And what about Crane? Anything new?”
“Nothing,” Ash said, his voice clipped. “Whatever Yarrow’s doing, it isn’t obvious. I’ll have to break into his office again soon.”
Which wasn’t good. Crane, Thunder, and a mystery attacker were still out there, and we had proof with Rider catching the scent of the mystery attacker outside the suite to Sage’s door that they were still interested in her.
“Are you… staying?” I wasn’t sure how to ask if he was going to stay in the Garden while we all attended a ball with Sage that he couldn’t attend or not.
“I can get into Her Brilliance’s private gardens without anyone noticing,” he said.
“The rose garden runs along the length of the main ballroom. The edge of the night-blooming garden has a small entrance from the back of the room,” I mused, wondering which of the gardens would be the best one.
Ash would have better coverage in the night-blooming garden, but it would be easier to see inside the ballroom from the rose garden.
“The rose garden has better visibility.” He gave a tight nod as if coming to a decision. “I’ll watch from there.”
He’d be close enough to watch her dancing with other men, maybe even close enough to hear her laughing if the patio doors were left open. But not close enough to touch her, to talk to her, to just be in her presence.
The injustice of it sat heavy in my chest. Ash had done nothing wrong except exist with scars he couldn’t do anything about. And for that, he was banned from the Divine Residence, unwelcome in polite society, too ugly to exist among the beautiful.
My throat tightened. I understood his pain. We were both looked on with disgust, both whispered about and stared at. He, because he’d gained his scars, and me because I lacked magic.
And, whether he acknowledged it or not, we were both yearning for someone and something we could never have. A mate, a connection, a soul-deep bond bestowed by the Goddess herself.
But at least Ash had a chance.
Once the danger with Crane was over, once the investigation was closed, he could find a way back to her. She wouldn’t be trapped in the Divine Residence.
Even if my mother never gave up toying with her, Sage wasn’t a prisoner. She and him could connect, develop love, and deepen the bond I suspected he’d already formed with her.
But for me—
The ache in my chest deepened, and I struggled to force all of my feelings, for myself, for Sage, and for Sawyer and his sister, as deep down as possible.
Feelings wouldn’t get the job done.
I gave Ash a tight nod, gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, then forced myself out of the alcove.
I entered the Divine Residence through the narrow side door, the structure’s opulence, even in this lesser-used hall, stretching before me.
With a thought, I changed my clothes from my usual doublet to a fancier, more detailed one and black pants made from a finer fabric. My clothing changed as I moved without impeding my movement or slowing me down like it would have if I hadn’t been in my spirit form.
I climbed stairs, moved through wider corridors, and made my way up to the guest suites.
A few minutes later I stood outside the door to her suite and knocked.
West opened the door, his expression as grim and unreadable as always. He studied me for a moment, then stepped aside and let me enter.
Inside, Rider stood by the hearth, his shoulders squared and his jaw tight. Fur rippled over the back of his hands, a sure sign that his wolf was close to the surface, perhaps even fighting for control, something he was going to need to get a hold of before stepping into my mother’s ballroom.
Talon lounged on the couch, appearing relaxed, almost disinterested, but I knew him intimately and could see the tension in his eyes and feel the whisper of allure bleeding past his control. Both of them wore fancier clothes than I knew they were comfortable with.
West closed the door behind me then moved to the center of the room where he always stood when waiting for Sage to manifest.
I’d arrived before her. Good.
I dropped onto the couch beside Talon and leaned into him, offering him comfort with my closeness. “Shall we review the plan?”
Talon’s arms wrapped around me and he pulled me into his lap. Rider grunted, and West continued to glare.
“My mother will be furious if it looks like I’m publicly courting her, so I’ll head down early and keep close but won’t interact with her.”
Fur rippled higher up Rider’s forearms. “I’ll go down with you. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m courting her, either.”
I was pretty sure it was too late for that. The servants talked and without a doubt he’d been seen stomping up to her suite every third night since the High Priestess had taken an interest in her.
“You don’t want anyone thinking you’re courting her?” Talon rolled his eyes at him. “So you weren’t glaring at all of her suitors during her private audiences?” His tone clear that even though he hadn’t been there, he was certain he knew how Rider had behaved.
Rider’s rumbling growl in reply didn’t help his case.
Talon barked a bitter laugh. “Thank the fuck being the Lord Commander and a Captain of the Black Guard ensures us an invite to this ball. If we were anyone else, we’d be left in the cold right along with Ash.”
His grip tightened around me, and he nuzzled his nose against the top of my head, breathing in my scent. He was trying to calm himself and also offer me comfort. But why?
Talon’s fingers traced idle circles on my shoulder. “I will dance with her. One of us needs to look like we’re courting her.”
Ah, so that was why.
He’d already figured out there was no way we were going to convince Rider to look like he was courting Sage — even though Rider would have been the best choice out of the three of us given his shifter nature — but didn’t want to upset me.
I wasn’t quite sure why he thought I’d be upset. He knew I cared for him, but not to what extent, and I knew he needed to have sex with multiple lovers to keep his shadow controlled.
Except he hadn’t taken a female lover since the shadow infection.
“I wish you’d be the only one to dance with her,” Rider said. “It’d make our job that much easier.”
“If you wanted to piss off Her Brilliance,” Talon replied. “But this ball is to introduce her to all the eligible bachelors. She’ll probably be pissed if Sage doesn’t dance with half the room by the end of the night.”
Rider huffed and turned to West. “The guard uses all the same hand signs as the Order. Are you familiar?”
West grunted.
Rider took that as a need to review them all just to ensure that The Order hadn’t changed theirs.
Most of our guardsmen didn’t know the discrete hand signs the Order used when protecting the High Priestess or significant dignitaries, but the Black Guard elite who protected the nobles in the Gold Tower did, and as the Lord Commander and Captains of the Black Guard we were all familiar with them.
West glowered at Rider the whole time, but I couldn’t tell if it was West’s usual glower or an “I’m pissed at you for wasting my time but you outrank me” glower.
Regardless, it made me feel better. If the worst happened, West, with his soul link to Sage, was the only one who could find her.
Now here was hoping he’d actually use the hand signals if the worst occurred.
No. Here was hoping absolutely nothing happened tonight.