Chapter Five #2
Which made sense, given what I’d seen that night we’d been called to his mother’s apartment—the overturned furniture, his mother’s clear distress, Dominic’s face covered in blood.
But no charges were ever filed against his father, and to this day, he was still Chief of the Department.
If the rumor my mother had heard was true, I could understand why Dominic would put as much distance as he could between his father and himself.
I could’ve verified my mother’s story, yet I kept silent. Dominic deserved his privacy.
“Well, we didn’t even work in the same borough, so I don’t know anyone from his precinct I could talk to. And we don’t have a friendship where I could ask him.”
“If it’s true, good for him for getting away.”
“Yeah, well, I’d better get going. Bye, Mom.”
“Please take care of yourself. Even though it’s a small town, I worry so much about you being by yourself.”
“I know, but I’m fine.”
“I wish you didn’t have to work at such a dangerous job. You could’ve gone to law school or something else that didn’t put you in harm’s way.”
“Mom.” I tempered my response, reining in my annoyance. “I love what I do. Please. We can’t keep going around and around. I’m almost thirty years old.”
“You could be a hundred, and I’d still worry. You’re my son. There’s so much ugliness out there. If I lost you…”
I rushed to reassure her. “You won’t. I don’t take unnecessary risks. I’m careful.”
“Promise me you’ll think about coming home soon.”
“I’ll try.”
“I love you, Emerson. You’re all I have.”
My heart hurt for her, and my deception concerning my father was part of the reason I rarely visited.
I’d stayed away, knowing she’d see my friendship with my father as a betrayal to her, so in my mind, her ignorance was worth not giving her more pain.
The truth? I was a coward and wanted to put off hurting her as long as possible.
I grabbed a bottle of water and left the house, this time without any further interruptions.
I drove to the lake, parked, and for a few minutes, reveled in the morning quiet.
The peace and beauty of nature settled my jumbled thoughts, which always happened after my mother and I spoke.
I hated lying to her about my dad. I believed him based solely on his explanation and wished I could’ve had more time with him.
Was I foolish? Maybe. But I had nothing else to cling to, and so I chose to put my trust in him.
If only he’d lived long enough for me to figure out how to tell my mother we’d forged a relationship.
Like a child, I’d held out hope a reconciliation could’ve been achieved.
The silence, save for the chirping birds, was a balm to my soul, and I drew in deep, cleansing breaths of fresh air. Ready to begin, I jogged to the running path. Many days I shared the trail, but today I was the sole person.
My feet pounded the ground, and I worked up a sweat, the toxins leaving my body with each step I took. As I hit my second mile, a car pulled up next to mine in the lot. Dominic’s. I increased my pace, but he knew I was there, and on the far side of the lake, he caught up with me.
“I gotta say, Emmy, you surprise me.”
“Yeah? About what?” My shirt, wet with sweat, stuck to my chest, but I was determined to hold my stride. I ignored the nickname, figuring Dominic was never going to change, and to show it affected me was playing into his hands.
“Considering you were stumbling last night, to see you out here today is pretty impressive.”
“I wasn’t drunk,” I insisted, but I didn’t miss the smirk on his lips.
Hot with annoyance, I had to defend myself.
“All right. I did have a little too much, so thanks for looking out for me.” I side-eyed him.
He ran about a foot away, at my shoulder, a band tied around his thick black waves.
He ran shirtless, and his tanned skin glistened in the dappled sunlight.
“No big deal. I didn’t want you to make a fool of yourself because of some girl who wasn’t worth it.” We ran a bit more. “You gonna call her and let her know you saw her?”
“No, I’m done with it. Hey, let me ask you something.” By this time my legs were feeling the burn, and I had to slow down. “It can wait until you’re finished.”
“I just have a few more laps.” He continued to run, and I took off my shirt to wipe the sweat from my face and body.
I walked to the edge of the lake, kicked off my sneakers, peeled off my socks, and wiggled my toes in the cool water.
Ducks paddled by, and their quacking brought a smile to my face.
At the far end of the lake, a beaver slid into the water, and I caught a glimpse of a deer browsing in the trees.
About twenty minutes later, Starr joined me and sat by my side.
“What did you want to ask me?” He adjusted his sunglasses against the bright sunlight.
“What’s all this about?” I leaned back on my hands. “Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?”
“I am? I don’t think I’m any different than before.
” He picked up a rock and flicked it like a country boy.
It skimmed the surface, and we both watched the ripples it set in motion spread out in a wide circle.
Sort of like Dominic, untouched on the surface but with mysteries underneath that could break the calm at any moment.
“You’re kidding.” I snorted in disbelief.
“We haven’t been able to be in the same room without snarling at each other, and yet there you were, the only one who watched out for me last night.
” I decided to go all in. “And the night of the jewelry store robbery, you showed up at my place and ran out a few minutes later. What was that?”
Red crept up his neck. “A mistake.”
I chewed my lip, wondering if I was about to make one as well.
“Was it?” I turned halfway to meet his gaze. “Or did you come by because of what happened in high school?” He blinked, and the cadence of his breathing increased. “In the locker room showers.”
“I know what you were talking about,” he muttered. “I remember.” He skimmed another rock along the water’s surface.
I pressed him, wanting to see more of a reaction. “We were just guys letting off steam…we all did shit like that. It didn’t mean anything.”
“It didn’t, yeah.”
These bits and pieces of conversation made my head spin. His mouth said one thing, yet his body language conveyed something else entirely.
“Starr? Are you all right? What’s going on?”
He ripped off the headband and tossed it to the ground. His wild eyes blazed. “I don’t fucking know, okay?” Instead of saying anything more, he rose to his feet and swiftly walked away. Stunned, I watched him jump in his car and speed off, the tires kicking up gravel and dirt.
I sat and stared out at the lake, trying to make sense of what had been happening in the last few weeks.
Something had definitely shifted lately in Dominic’s treatment of me.
He’d gone from cold and rude to occasional flashes of actual kindness.
Did he want to forge a friendship? The odd behavior—showing up at my house, then running away, bringing me home and into my bedroom—was almost like he wanted to gauge my reaction to us becoming closer.
What did he expect me to do? Kiss him? Touch him? Was he gay or bi and closeted? Was I? Could that be the reason for my endless search for the perfect woman? Could it be that I had the person I’d always wanted in front of me but wasn’t willing to accept it?
I rubbed my face, not unaware that my heart raced at those thoughts.
Was I attracted to Dominic? At seventeen I’d chalked up my twisted emotions to the hormones of a teenaged boy who’d never had sex and was obsessed with the naked body.
But I was almost thirty now. No longer that confused, shocked kid.
And I’d never stopped thinking about Dominic in the shower.
I still had a few days off from the shooting, and no matter what I did, I fought against the pull of getting in my car, driving to Dominic’s place, and finding out what the hell was going on with him. And us.