Chapter Nineteen
Emerson
“Okay, out with it.”
Jet and I were having lunch, and I was still in my head about what McGill had said. The thought that Starr’s father might’ve had something to do with my father’s murder in prison made me sick. His wife, his son…my father. Who else had this man hurt or destroyed?
“Huh? With what?” I put the cup of hot coffee to my lips.
“Whatever’s got your head up your ass since we started this tour.” His brow puckered, and he leaned in close and dropped his voice. “Did you and the guy break up?”
“No. No way.” I set my cup on the table. “We’re better than great. It’s…” I could tell Jet. He was my best friend. “I found out something, and I don’t know how to deal with it.”
“You can tell me anything. I’ll always give you a straight answer, but I’m gonna be on your side.”
“It’s about my dad.” He nodded, sympathy shining from his eyes, which only made speaking more difficult. “I can’t do it here,” I whispered, and Jet immediately took out his wallet and put down some money.
“Then we leave.”
Jet took the wheel—a good thing as my concentration was shit and we’d most likely have ended up in a ditch somewhere if I’d driven. We rode for a while, which gave me time to pull myself together. I knew Jet would wait until I was ready.
We’d tagged two cars for speeding before I got the chance to speak. Jet returned to our vehicle after writing up a speeder and was taking notes. When he was done, I said, “I found out some disturbing info about my dad.”
Jet set aside his pad and faced me, listening.
“I told you his story. Or at least what I was told. Now I found out it wasn’t true. That he never went back to taking drugs—he was set up and killed because as a CI, he knew too much about some powerful people in the department.”
Jet grew pale. “Holy shit. Are you sure? How did you find out?”
I trusted Jet with my life, but I couldn’t tell him the whole story. In doing so, I’d betray Dominic and also reveal how close the two of us had become. Still, I could share some details.
“I had a visit from someone who used to work in the department. They had insider knowledge about the case. Incontrovertible evidence. My father was innocent and spent all those years in prison for no reason. And died because of it.” My voice grew husky and tears burned. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
His face taut with anger, Jet shook his head. “Screw that. Dammit, Em, I’m so sorry. You shoulda called in and taken the day.”
“And do what? Sit on my ass and think about it while staring at the walls? No. I’m gonna go for a good run, hit the weights, and work it off.
Nothing will change what happened.” I nibbled my lip.
“I can’t tell my mom yet. I need to know more of the story.
She was so devastated by what happened and hasn’t trusted another man since.
I want her to know that my father wasn’t the terrible person she thought, but I gotta have all the evidence. ”
Jet put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, but I’m also glad his memory will be cleared. That should give you some comfort.”
What Jet said was true—to a point. Knowing my father’s record would eventually be exonerated of drug charges made me feel better, but nothing could compensate him or me for the years of loss.
And I had no idea how my mother would react.
His initial admission of drug use had hurt her, but his arrest had destroyed her and her trust.
“I guess.” I groaned and rubbed my neck, the beginning of a headache blooming behind my eyes. “I need time to process all this.”
“I’ll bet. Wanna come to dinner? We can just hang out and relax, shoot some pool. Harte finally got his table. He’s been dying to get a game going. We can make it a threesome.”
I managed a tired smile. “Rain check? I just wanna go home and—”
“See your guy?”
The throbbing at my temples increased, thinking of the conversation to come. “Yeah. I hope so.”
With the way McGill had twisted Dominic into knots, I couldn’t be certain. I’d sent him several texts, which he’d ignored until the last, where his teasing comeback had reassured me he wasn’t sitting in a dark room berating himself over something he couldn’t control.
Jet started the car and checked his watch. “We’ve only got about half an hour left. Let’s make one more loop, then head to the station.”
“I won’t say no.”
Nothing eventful came up, and we returned to the station and filled out our reports. I heard yelling from Simms’s office, and Jet and I exchanged glances.
“Wonder what that’s about,” Jet mused. “I never heard Simms raise his voice in all the time he’s been here.”
“You and he are pretty friendly. Find out.” I finished typing and sent in my forms.
Jet did the same and rose from his seat. “Maybe I will.” He left the bullpen and headed to the rear of our small, three-room station house, where Simms’s office was located, but retraced his steps almost immediately. “Or not,” he countered. “Amanda gave me a look and shook her head.”
My brows rose. “Damn. Amanda’s usually a sweetheart.” She’d come with Simms in his transfer. She was fifty and treated us all like her children, baking for the office, and if one of us called in sick, sending us homemade soup.
“She’s pretty protective of Simms,” Jet mused. “I wonder if the two of them ever got together. I could see it.”
“Damn, Jet.” I snickered. “Ever since you got married, you’ve become Little Mr. Matchmaker.”
He shrugged. “He’s a good guy. Must be lonely having lost his daughter and his wife. But anyway, no use hanging here. He’s not going to tell us anything. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay, good night.”
He left, and I recalled how Jet would often hang around the station, doing scut work or filing supply reports. I used to think it was to show our former boss what a good worker he was for a possible promotion. Now I realized it was only because of how lonely he’d been.
I used the restroom and was walking through the bullpen to leave when I saw Simms emerge. His face was flushed, and he radiated anger.
“Everything all right, Lieutenant?”
He held up a hand and nodded but kept walking and put his head down. Not about to get involved, I left as well, greeting Clarke and Ross, who were on duty.
“See you both tomorrow.”
“Got a hot date?” Clarke asked, and I snorted.
“You are way too involved in my personal life. But yeah. I just might.”
In my car, I texted Dominic, who said he was with Mr. Ackerman but was leaving in a few minutes. I answered him.
Come to mine.
Are you sure?
Don’t be stupid.
I grinned to myself, and the smile grew broader as I turned on my block and spotted Dom’s car parked several houses away from mine. I unlocked the door and kicked off my sneakers as I waited. At his double tap I opened it, and he came inside. Seeing his anguished face, I pulled him close.
“It’s okay.’
“Emmy, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
“Shh, let’s sit.” He clung to me, and we sat beside each other on the couch. I could tell he’d been fighting with the devil all day long. I kissed his cheek. “McGill told me about my father.”
Fresh grief filled Dominic’s eyes. “It’s all my father’s fault. That bastard. He’s ruined so many lives. I can’t believe what he did to your father.” He rubbed his face. “All I ever do is lean on you and take. I don’t give you anything.”
“That’s not true. And it’s not a contest where we measure who’s done what to whom. Relationships are give and take.” I played with his fingers. “Tell me how Mr. Ackerman is. You spent time with him today?”
“Yeah. He’s responding to the medication, which is good news.
And I went to his house and cleaned up. It’s so sad, Emmy.
He’s got nothing—a crummy house he rents, crappy furniture…
the only thing that belongs to him is a bunch of old pictures.
” He swiped at his eyes. “He was there for days, lying in that bed, sick and alone, and no one thought to check up on him.”
Knowing this was a side of the tough Dominic Starr no one else saw, my heart swelled. I knew I loved him, but how was it possible to love him more than I already did?
“See? You’re a sweet, good man. Who else is doing that for him?”
But Dominic didn’t respond, just stared into space. “It hit me as I sat around his living room that I’m not much different from Mr. Ackerman. No family or real friends. No real roots. My house is like his. Impersonal and sterile. If I disappeared, who’d notice?”
“Me. I’m your friend. More than friends, am I right?”
“Yeah.” He met my eyes, and passion burned in their bright-blue depths along with resignation. “But I don’t want to screw up your life any more than I have.”
“You could only do that if you left me. Dominic,” I implored, “don’t you know?” I touched my lips to his, and as always, the smell and taste of him unlocked a primitive side of me that only he’d reached. “I love you.”
He grew still and pulled away but held my face, his gaze deep and searching. One of those rare and beautiful smiles tentatively lit his face. “Even with everything my father did to your family?”
“Forget your father. He’s got nothing to do with us. I’ve been waiting for this for ten years.” I kissed him again and finally felt his lips soften beneath mine. “I love you, Dom. It was you. Always you.”
“God, Emmy. What would I do without you? I’d be alone…lonely. I’m sure I love you too, but you have to help me figure out what that means.”
I kissed the side of his neck where his pulse jumped. “You said it, and you can’t take it back now.”
He pressed a gentle kiss to my brow and held me tight to his chest. I could feel the rapid pounding of his heart. “I don’t plan to, but I don’t want to screw this up. You’re the only thing right in my world.”
Would he even believe me if I told him every one of those perfect words wove together the shredded seams of my heart?
“Nothing will go wrong. It’s you and me, and there’s everyone else.”
He leaned in to kiss me, and I gave up to the pressure of his warm mouth on mine. “There’s more. Emmy, I—”
“Later.” I pulled him with me to the bedroom. “I need you. I’ve needed you all day.” I tugged my clothes off and stood naked in front of him, aching with desire. His face flushed red as I touched myself, playing with the new tattoo. “You’re a part of me now. Forever. On my skin. In my heart.”
His fingers joined mine, tracing the outlines of the stars, then gripped me hard, that big palm circling my shaft. His eyes bored into mine, leaving me breathless and shaking.
“You’re perfect. So fucking hot. So fucking mine.
” He shucked his clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor, and sank to his knees, taking me into the hot recess of his mouth.
His wicked, teasing tongue had me trembling on the brink of a ferocious climax, but it was too soon, and I tangled my fingers in his hair and yanked.
He grunted and raised a brow.
“Bed. I need you in me. Now.”
He grinned and pushed me on the mattress. “I like Bossy Emmy. Makes me hard.”
“Face it, Starr. Everything about me makes you hard.”
He hovered over me. “You’re right. In those showers back in high school, in my bedroom at home, and after I followed you up here.
No matter where I went or who I was with, you occupied my mind.
” He kissed me. “I needed you, but I was too in my own head to understand it. Not any longer. I’ve got you, and I’m not letting go this time. ”
“I’m not planning on being anywhere else but here. With you.”
He covered my mouth with his, the softness of his tongue turning hard and probing. We teased and danced until he left me gasping while moving down my neck and chest. He stopped at my tattoo and kissed around it gently.
“I like this.”
“I like you. And I’d like it even more if you’d get inside me.”
He wet his fingers and slipped one in me. “Bossy, bossy. How bad do you want me to give it to you?”
His dick rested against his ridged belly, hard, flushed, and wet at the tip, and I panted. I clenched his finger tight and licked my lips. “Real bad. Please, Dom.”
He worked two fingers in, stretching me, but even that wasn’t enough to contain the burn when he sank his sheathed cock past my rim.
He was so big and hard, it was almost as if I were a virgin again, but I held on to him as he moved in farther, inch by inch.
He lifted my legs to his shoulders, folding me in half.
“You love being full of me, don’t you?” He thrust hard and fast, deeper and stronger, leaving me sobbing and thrashing under him, mindless with pleasure. “Say it,” he demanded.
“Love it,” I gasped and worked my dick for only a few moments before I came with such force, my release splattered over his chest and chin. “Oh God. Too much. It’s too much,” I cried out as he fucked me through my climax.
“No. It’s not enough, and it’s never gonna be enough for me. Never.” With that final word, he drove hard and came, my hands overhead, held tight in his. His forehead rested on mine. “Is this where people usually say I love you? ’Cause I’m feeling like it now.”
I slung an arm around him. “You can say it to me anytime, anyplace. It’s always the right time.”
“When I’m inside you. That’s the best place in the world.”
We showered, and dressed in sweats, ordered pizza, and took out some beer. Dominic sat on the couch, and I lay with my head in his lap while he played with my hair. If this was what being cozy and domestic was like, call me Betty Crocker and give me an apron because I was all in.
“What’re you thinking?” I asked, realizing he’d been mostly silent since we’d come out to the living room.
“I never should’ve come here tonight. I’m putting you in danger.”