Chapter 21 #2
“You’re not seriously avoiding Trent?” Roni asked. “That’s so unlike you.”
“I know it’s wrong.” Delaying the inevitable.
“I’m just… I mean…” She stopped and took a breath.
“What’s the point of answering? He doesn’t live here.
I do. What I want from him, for us, feels almost hopeless.
” She turned on Roni. “Don’t you dare call me dramatic.
There’s just so much. So much more than I expected.
” She pressed her hands to her stomach. “One minute it’s exciting, with butterflies flitting through a sunny garden and the next it’s just a dark queasy fear. ”
There was a time when Natalie had been absolutely positive she would never be ready for anything more than a casual fling.
All about temporary and fun. No strings attached.
After their first coffee chat, she recalled thinking Trent would make an ideal fling.
At that point seeing him again was optional, a simple pleasure with none of this desperate awareness of what she was letting go.
But they had connected. Over far more than his hunt for a criminal. Her time with Trent was a bell she couldn’t unring.
Her heart demanded more. Refused to settle for anything less than her deepest desire. Which was probably entirely selfish. Better to own it than fight it. Every time she tried to fight herself in her artwork or her personal life it backfired in heartbreaking ways.
“You’re in love with him,” Celeste declared. “You knew it before, um, everything. Back on sister night.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “And I need to tell him.”
Roni rubbed her shoulders. “Are you sure, Nat?”
“It’s not something I want to hold in,” she confessed. She wasn’t sure it was possible to not tell him at this point. “Isn’t it more important to share love than anything else?”
“That sounds like something Mom would’ve said.” Roni’s smile was sad at the edges.
“That’s probably why it’s in my head.” Natalie, contrary to her usual nature, shrugged off her sister’s touch, pacing away. “I’m off balance. Nothing feels right. If I don’t tell him, I’m afraid that feeling will stick around.” She covered her face with her hands. “I can’t bear that.”
“Then go tell him,” Celeste urged. “However it goes, you know we’re here for you.”
“Always.” She appreciated the support of her sisters more than ever. They’d grown so much closer, the bonds stronger as adults. “I think Mom would be really proud of us.”
“Absolutely,” Celeste agreed.
Veronica nodded. “Go on,” she said. “Don’t be a chicken about it.”
“You’re a brat,” Nat accused.
“Yeah, but I’m older and wiser,” Roni shot back.
“Older for sure.” Natalie felt the pressure of her tears ease up and wrapped her sister in a big hug. “Thank you.”
“Go get him,” Roni whispered in her ear. “If he loves you, y’all will find a way.”
Celeste handed her a cold compress for her flushed face and puffy eyes. “She’s right. You’ve got this, baby sister.”
Nat buried her face in the cool cloth for a minute. Picking up her phone, she took her time deciding where she wanted to have this conversation. Then she sent the text to Trent.
His response came back immediately and she let her sisters read it with her.
“Okay.” Carefully, she dragged in a big breath. “Looks like I’ve got a date at the beach. Who’s driving me?”
She was grateful Celeste volunteered. Roni wouldn’t have been content with the silence on the drive over.
More composed, she thanked her oldest sister and climbed out, determined not to blubber all over Trent when she spelled out what she wanted.
In her mind, it would be a beautiful conversation and not an emotional meltdown.
He sat on the sand, his arms looped around his knees, staring out over that broad expanse of endless water. She was certain he already knew she was there, but she called out as she approached.
He twisted around, giving her a smile. “Have a seat?”
She settled next to him in the sand, though it would have been much easier to do this while she was walking or moving. Her heart was so restless where he was concerned.
“You feeling okay?” His gaze skimmed over her. “I’ve been worried they released you from the hospital too soon.”
“You could have come by anytime.” She’d been waiting for him to do just that.
“That was my next stop when I got your text. Talking privately sounded like the better idea.”
“My sisters like you,” she reminded him.
He only smiled. “You have great sisters.”
She truly did. “Where are you headed next?” she asked, grateful her sisters were well out of earshot.
“Gamble and Swann took me off the rotation for a month.”
“What?” She couldn’t believe it. “You did everything right.”
“Hey, take it easy. It’s a reward, not a punishment.”
“Okay. Good.” She bit her lip. “But you love your work.”
“That’s true. And I’ll love it again after a good break. You know how it is.”
“Right, of course.” She licked her lips. “But here’s the thing. I’m in love with you, Trent.” He froze and she barreled on. “You don’t need to say anything, but I had to tell you.” She touched her hand to her heart. “It was just so heavy holding it back. You don’t—”
He cut her off with a kiss. Before she realized that they had moved, she was sprawled over him, kissing him back with all the feelings swirling inside. Love, hope, magic, and joy.
And right back to hope. Did this reaction mean what she wanted it to mean? If she could read anything in his embrace, it was the feeling that he loved her too, but she knew she would need the words.
Eventually.
The frantic edge of their embrace smoothed out and the firm grip of his hands on her hips gentled. She ran her hands along his broad shoulders, as she eased back to study him.
“Natalie,” he ran his fingers through the soft waves of her hair. “You mean it?”
“I’ve never meant anything more. Please don’t feel obligated. Just take it.” She pressed her hands over his heart as if she could transfer her love for him to carry with him always. “Take it with you and wherever you go, you’ll know I love you.”