Her
My sleeplessness is taking a toll on my health all over again. Six weeks and not one day of proper sleep. Insomnia was a huge problem before, but I had not expected it could return after so many years. Let alone the nightmares.
And the way they are back like they never left.
But the fact that the asshole is not responsible for my problems is what amazes me the most. I mean he has played a big role in it, but there are times when the people closest to us, are the ones that affect us in the worst ways.
Like my parents and their obsession with me getting married. Something that I mostly try to leave in the ignore pile of my mind – but today.
Mahika called me in the morning only to let me know how bad she was being brainwashed to convince me on seeing this guy they know from somewhere. I don’t care about the guy, but the fact that my sister is being dragged into their plans is quite disturbing.
And to be frank I hate the guy too. They’ve been trying to convince me to consider him for about a year and a half now, basically ever since they met him at some social gathering. Their enthusiasm regarding this is bothering me to the point that I would not even consider seeing him once. I mean how can there be anything special about being a ten pointer in college, if you need your parents to make the first move for you.
I am engrossed in my thoughts when I collide with something solid on the walkway. An apology instantly slips from my mouth before I actually lock eyes with the handsome devil again.
N stands before me; his grin slipping away as he reads the expression on my face. “Hello to you too, muffin.”
“Muffin?” Rings bells.
“Yeah, I was craving muffins this morning; was just leaving to get some. You up for it?” His earnest expression makes my cheeks go red. What the hell were you thinking, Sherlock Holmes!
“N-No...thanks.”
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” He narrows his eyes on me as I shift just a little.
“Nothing important... Just office stress.” I lie, avoiding his microscopic gaze. And the fact that he has been constantly supportive for all the weeks I’ve been here, can’t lie but I feel a little ashamed about it.
He tilts his head to read me more carefully; and boy how it feels under his scrutiny. Why?
“Why does it seem to me as though there’s something you don’t want to tell me about?”
I gulp hard knowing that I’m almost caught, before he tilts my face by the chin so my eyes meet his. Shit! No more hiding.
“Look, you don’t have to hide anything from me. If you tell me, maybe, I could be of some help.”
His hand slips away as soon as they appeared, the moment he realizes the tension in my body.
Does he like me? Because that embarrassment looks sure as hell like he just exposed himself.
I cut in before he could apologize, “It’s my parents... They’re trying to fix me with someone.”
His body eases and something obnoxious lingers behind his face, “Fix you? as in... get you married?” The coldness coating his words are another hint.
I nod in response before elaborating how they’ve pulled my innocent little sister into their mess.
“So, what’s the issue?” Ouch!
I shrug, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion, “What do you mean? I can’t...I don’t want to –”
Before I could complete he cuts in, “Who’s telling you to do anything? Nobody can force you into it. Just let them know that.”
“You say like you know them. My parents can be –”
He cuts in again, “I know you. And that’s enough for me to tell that nothing is going to happen until you don’t want it.”
His gaze is piercing and I feel weak in the knees because of it. Déjà vu, again.
“You can be difficult, muffin. Give them your difficult and sit back. No one can get you to like someone you don’t want to.” His words are like my favorite kind of balm right now; because that’s what I have been telling myself ever since the stalker problem.
The pent-up emotions burst up as a single tear makes its way down my cheek when I chuckle, shaking my head in disbelief. He knows you so well...that’s the kind of person you would want in your life.
“When did you notice so much about me?”
He laughs softly settling for a half smile, “One of my friends is into Human Psychology. You can call it a peer thing, but I’ve learnt a lot.”
Do I like him too?
No. I don’t know!But a faint blush rises to my cheeks when I bite my lip to hide it.
“And I love reading you, muffin.” He smirks. That smirk must have gotten many weak.
“What’s with the nickname? If I remember correctly it was you who said I was a bad girl when I refused to join you yesterday...” I flash a teasing smile.
“That you are. And bad girls deserve sweet nicknames... along with a lot of other things. Wanna find out?” He chuckles before smirking again. Except this time...this time it’s darker.
Scary and sweet. What an odd combination!
My mouth dries up as soon as his eyes zero on my tongue, out and lapping on my lips; fighting the loud thuds arising from my chest.
That’s when he cracks up, “Got you again... God, you’re so cute when you’re scared.”
I nudge at him while staring with narrowed eyes, “You think you can call me names when I don’t even know yours. Am I going to call you by initials for the rest of my life?”
He takes the phone from my hand, and types out his name on his contact, without taking his eyes off me. Did I admit I’m a little nervous right now?
“What’s in a name sweetheart...” He returns my phone, tugging a stray lock of hair behind my ear, “When you’re free to call me whatever you want – for the rest of your life...” Shivers – all over my body.
I feel too stunned to respond...the sudden breathlessness his actions must’ve caused. Breaking eye contact is my first step towards saving myself from falling, when I am already on the verge of being weak in the knees again.
“See you soon...” He waves leaving. Leaving me breathless. Why do I feel the need to say I’d like that?
Soon after he leaves, I break out of the spell and immediately look for his name in my contacts.
Almost too busy to be bothered by who sees me gaping at my phone. A smile curls on my lips as soon as I spot it.
His name.
Nakul.
That’s kind of a... sexy name. Self-admission is such a bitch.
THE MOMENT I ENTERthe office campus, I spot her from the distance; looking hurried as she swings her bag on to the other hand while signing in her attendance for the day. I exhale a sigh of relief knowing that Jessica is accompanying me in the late spree this week.
Her lovely black curls hang loose on the off-shoulder dress and I know better that it’s going to pulled up and tugged to expose enough tattooed skin before we leave for the club later this evening.
She spots me before I could walk over to her and instead runs and grabs my hand, “Hurry D! Aniket is going to kill us both.”
“Did he call? Is he that furious?”
She pulls my id sliding it on the scanner while I pull out my phone to look, “Don’t tell me he called...”
“Don’t worry... We’ll make something up. We’ll have to – or he will strangle us today for sure.” She replies.
Veer’s birthday is one of the few days when Aniket usually goes absolutely berserk about literally everything. At least that’s what I’ve heard.
However, his fury on all of us alleviated when the celebration goes about perfectly later that day. I mean of course it had to... he made sure everything was in accordance to Veer’s likes. I guess Jessica was right about the proposal thing coming up tonight. Because the amount of effort he has put in for our boss’s birthday, it’s quite evident there’s quite a lot going on behind the curtains.
And Veer... he quite literally deserves all the love he’s getting. He’s kind of the best team lead I could have imagined, and everyone from our teammates to other teams agree about it. Patient, cooperative and empathetic – all that on top of his technical uniqueness.
Only problem is his approaches towards you.
I agree with the voice in my head when I find him walking towards me for the fifth time today for no reason.
I hurry up winding the work before me when he closes in, “Hey... All good? You need help finishing that up...”
“No. Thanks, I’m almost done.” I start typing and clicking the last of tickets before he interrupts me again.
“Wait. Is that...” he says something after that but I am too overwhelmed in a general air of malaise that I can’t concentrate on anything other than the arm that is brushing mine a little too much to be unintentional.
It’s all in your head. He’s only trying to help you. You’re being paranoid for no reason.
I shake my head trying to comprehend what he’s been doing on my system, when he turns back with an earnest expression, “Did you follow?”
Getting a hold of the escalated breathing, I nod, trying to paste a fake smile on my face.
“You don’t look so good... Are you sure everything’s okay?”
“Yeah – don’t worry. I’m – I’m fine.”
He observes me for a good five seconds before insisting, “Wait for me after getting ready. Okay? I’ll drive you to the venue.”
“No Veer... Don’t worry... it’s only a headache.” I lie effortlessly, “I have errands after work. I’ll join you guys at the club.”
He dips his head in resignation. Hurt lingering behind his fake smile.
How long are you going to keep pushing people away because of the threat. It’s been more than five years since that incident.
And the guy did not disappear; he ran away because he feared getting caught.
Not everything is your fault.
I place my hand on his. “I mean it Veer. I’ll be okay. I promise.”
Something in his eyes tinker before he flashes a hopeful smile and leaves, soon after which Jess joins grinning suspiciously, “What’s going on between you two? Guess, Aniket is indeed going to get his heart broken.”
“Stop imagining things that are not going to happen Jess. I was only being friendly; he was helping me out with this.” I retort while getting back to work.
“Cut that! Are you going to wear that to the club? It’s already seven. Don’t tell me you haven’t even tried that dress.”
“I did try, but it’s way too revealing for my tastes. So yes, I may as well go in this...”
She retorts again, “It’s a clubwear, D. They’re supposed to be sexy. Grow up!”
When I narrow my eyes in frustration, she drags me without wasting another second. “I don’t want excuses. You’re not going in this.”
What do you do when your bestie acts childish and stubborn?
I guess, you let her win once a while.