Chapter 8 | Her
The contents of the news on the front page are disturbingly detailed. Who the hell even reads newspapers these days? I mean it was unlikely for me to just go grab a newspaper for hobby on a Saturday morning. But that didn’t mean I was not supposed to know what everybody at work knew by sunrise. At least that’s what Jess told me.
The phone call made me rush to the crime section of a local newspaper’s online page. And all I could make out in the blurred-out photograph adjoining the news was a mess of blood and possibly guts all over the place. The police are said to be investigating the case as a hit and run, but that is no less than the work of the devil. If he’s supposed to be driving a car.
According to the report, Veer’s hands are a mush of bones and blood, lower jaw missing along with the tongue, eyes gauged out from the socket likely while being crushed under something heavy. It’s painful to even read without the urge to puke. What vehicle alone makes such a trampled mess unless either he fell under a running train or an extremely heavy motor vehicle. But then that was a national highway and they are supposed to be especially risky at night. Plus, he was dead drunk; supposedly why he was talking shit to me before leaving outraged by my response.
Was I supposed to tell the others? They could’ve made him stay back, and then he wouldn’t be dead. It’s not your fault that all your colleagues decided to disappear right at that time.
Guilt is all I have been feeling, but what would have happened if he never ended up like that? He would have blackmailed you, Disha. Don’t you remember his threat? You ending up on his bed or him ending dead on the road... which one’s better?
My intrusive thoughts are a mess and that picture of him is haunting my conscious with what ifs. Doesn’t make him less of a villain though.
What if he forced you later...? He sure was up for that, wasn’t he? At least you made your choice. Guilt is better than shame and embarrassment.
How was I supposed to help Aniket when his so-called love was groping me under the table? Should I have told the jerk to back off because my friend is in love with him? Would that have stopped him from making approaches towards me? Would that have saved me from seeing the ugly face he hid behind the gentleman’s cover? Would that have made him realize the feelings Aniket held for him?
I can’t believe I’ve lost a friend because of a jerk who threatened me to do it with him. A now deceased jerk. So that brings me to the question, should I be guilty or relieved?
Would I be a bad human if relief is what I feel behind all the guilt?
But then what have I ever gotten by being a good human? Apart from being left behind alone. Too good for everyone. People prey on your vulnerability and emotions. And it is the fact that I mostly display the good in me, that people tend to disrespect my friendship. Because they assume that I would shatter by their judgement. That I won’t have the courage to stand by what I feel. What I believe.
I wipe a tear rolling down my cheek and make a promise to myself. I can’t let people treat me like that anymore. Even and especially people that I value. I’ll stand my ground. And if that’s not enough, I’ll watch them leave and not repent my actions.
AFTER DINNER AND Alittle chat with my sister, I go in for a relaxing shower, completing my normal night routine. The curtains I put to the terrace door fly in the air inside the room in a leisurely manner. Looks like today’s going to be a breezy starry night.
The overcoat of my nightie blows with the curtains too, so lightly it draws a faint smile on my face. I undo and place it on the outdoor plushie, before leaning against the glass railing finishing my half-eaten chocolate.
A faint light from the window on the floor above catches my eye. And I suddenly remember what Payal gossiped about the owner of the penthouse directly above. Only he has three sixty-degree view of this entire place. Such a cool view it must be.
I imagine him to be a middle-aged businessman, who else would want to live in secrecy, other than super busy would-be oldies. I wonder how having an entire floor to oneself must feel. Wouldn’t you know? I mean I kind of own the entire floor too.
What if I went knocking on this man’s door, like a hello, it’s good to know your tenants personally, sir.
The silhouette of a man holding a whiskey glass passes by probably at a distance from the window. No clarity.
It’s past midnight and I suddenly realize what I’m wearing; it’s clearly not the kind of dress I’d like my landlord to see me in. As I reach for my phone on my way to the bed, a message pops on the screen.
Unknown – It’s rude to look into other people’s windows. Especially at this hour. Especially in that little nightdress of yours, muffin.
My jaws drop down to the floor along with my heart.
So, this guy can really SEE ME.All the alarms in my head go off on full blow.
Me – How do you know that?
I’m calculating my answers.
Unknown – Because I can see you.
My heart is racing at an undecipherable speed. He can SEE ME. And he has the audacity to fucking admit it. But how?
Me – How do I know you’re not bluffing?
It must be the terrace. Surely anybody standing outside can see me in the balcony. Binocular duh... right? I immediately rush to close the terrace doors, before drawing the curtains. Repeating the same with every window in the apartment, before rushing back to the phone on my bed.
Unknown – There wasn’t a need to shut the goddamn windows, muffin.
Me – That’s just basic.
Pretend like your hands are not shaking, typing it.
Unknown – There’s a half-eaten chocolate on your left nightstand. Some of which is smeared on your lower lip and chin.
I look in the dressing mirror to double check. What the heck? That’s one hell of a detailed description! He could’ve seen me on the terrace earlier. That’s all! Don’t panic.
Unknown – Legs crossed in front of you...
Unknown – Beautifully painted in hickeys and teeth marks. Artistic, isn’t it?
I feel like having a nervous breakdown right now. I don’t want to know what I guess; I already know. It can’t be the same guy?
Unknown – If only you could spread them a little so I could have a look at the paradise in between. Missing it already.
I can’t process all this right now. Where the fuck is this asshole?
Me – Where are you?
Unknown – Wherever you want me to be. Should I come over?
My hands are trembling and typing the obvious. Fuck NO. Before the creep assumes an answer.
Unknown – I’m sorry I assumed you like me away, especially after how hard you tried to get away last night.
Last night? What does he know about last night? And how the fuck?
Me – What the hell are you talking about?
Every ounce of courage is leaving my body while I dread for something, I guess, I already have the answer to.
Unknown – So sorry I missed the intro. Hi! I ate you last night. You tasted so fucking perfect.
The instant rise of bile inside my throat is so nauseous; it’s almost blinding.
I was right. I was fucking right! He’s the same fucking guy. Shit!
Adrenaline is gushing in my bloodstream and all I want to do is flight, but I fear I’ll end up on the fight part.
Unknown – You look so adorable when you’re frightened.
The numbness when tears roll down my cheeks is so intense, for a moment I feel trapped back in that restroom. He’s right I am downright terrified. Terrified enough to pee myself right here. What have you gotten yourself into?
Unknown – Stop crying or I’ll have to come over and fuck the fear out of your sweet virgin pussy.
Dread and fury are mixing in my bloodstream, and I hardly am in control of any of the two.
Me – Why are you doing this? What have I done?
Unknown – You’ve corrupted me. I am simply giving you a taste of your creation.
He is a maniac. God help me! Am I crying uncontrollably at this point.
Unknown – Stop crying NOW! Or I’m coming over right away...
Me – No please don’t. Please. I’ll stop.
My sobs reduce to mere whimpers as I wipe the tears away frantically. Because can I afford to invite this lunatic into my house, at this hour of the night.
Unknown – Good girl.
I roll my eyes at the cringe comment.
Unknown – I saw that... but we’ll come to that later.
Shit!I have to remember – he can see me.
Unknown – Did you like the gifts? I wanted to apologize for the animosity I displayed with your underwear last night.
I narrow my eyes at the screen. The fuck am I supposed to answer that... A shrug is all I manage.
Unknown – I asked a question?
Play cool. Play cool, Disha. That’s the only way out.
Me – Yes. It was nice. Thank you very much.
Unknown - ?? How convenient!
Unknown – Show me how much you liked it.
What is that supposed to mean? Post a review online? Asshole!
Me – What? How? I already said I liked it.
Unknown – Show me... Wear it.
What a shameless sicko!
I’m biting my lip so hard; breaking skin is the least of my worries right now.
Me – What? No.
Unknown – Wear it. Or should I come over and make you change into it. It may end very well for both of us, you know it.
The threat is making breathing very difficult for me. So, I drink down any shame that is left inside, and pick up the lingerie set from the basket thrown in the corner of the hallway, and head towards the end of shame for me. Shame as I’ve known it until tonight.
When I walk towards the washroom, my phone pings again. What does the bastard want now?
Unknown – Not in the washroom. The mirror in the corner that you’ve covered. Uncover it. Wear it right there in front of that mirror.
Unknown – And do it slowly.
My heart is tearing into a hundred thousand pieces removing the cover from the mirror, let alone the pang in my chest from getting blackmailed into doing this shamelessness in front of a lunatic.
Controlling the rage I feel for this madman, is the most pathetic thing I could do in this situation. But it is the most logical thing to do. Given that this jerk can come walking into my house at the slightest sign of denial.
As if insensible to disgrace, I slide the straps of my nighty down my body, eyes shut in front of the full-length mirror. My entire body is on fire at the thought of being naked while being watched by a complete stranger. Gulping down the last of my pride I open my eyes slowly to look at my bare body. Following the sick instruction, I pick the lace underwear and pull it slowly up my bruised legs until it sticks to the curvature of my ass. My bare ass cheeks feel the need to be covered. What kind of underwear leaves open more than it covers?
Next, I pick the lace bra up, place the wired cups on mine. Adjusting it so it hugs my busts; and if it weren’t such a pathetic situation, I would have been flattered by the choice. Looking back at the mirror, I fight the tears that are finding its way back through the sides of my lids.
Unknown – You really have no idea how exquisite you look.
Unknown - My mistake I let you run away yesterday. I want to finish what we started.
“Please don’t. I did what you said.” I retort, but there’s a degree of defeat in it. The way my poor heart is threatening to burst its way out of my chest; the thuds are almost audible.
Unknown – Not tonight, sweetheart. But one fortunate night, I’ll take away what has been mine to take for a long time. What you’ve kept saved for me to claim.
Relief would have been the only feeling overtaking my mind. But the cryptic message at the end is fucking with my logical sense.
Unknown – But for now, take the satin scarf from the box.
My eyes drop to the satin material in the lingerie box. What use must that have?
Unknown – Use it to tie your hands together.
Do I have the option to teleport to another dimension?
Resigning to the directions, I take the cloth and place a lose knot, before inserting my hands through it; tying a knot pulling it between with my fingers and teeth.
Unknown – Now, kneel on the bed.
I place myself on the bed in a kneeling position. It makes me sick to the stomach how helpless this man wants to see me.
Unknown – See, how perfect you look like that, muffin. I bet you’d be the best slave in the world.
Me – What if I don’t want to be your slave?
Unknown – You don’t have a choice. You’re mine to take. And one day you’ll want me just as much as I want you. And you’ll beg me to take that sweet little pussy of yours.
I tear away my eyes from the mirror; disgusted by the picture this man is painting inside my head.
Unknown – You can sleep now. But, don’t you dare cover that mirror.
“O-okay...” Nodding, I get up to change back to my nightgown. But then my phone pings again.
Unknown – Did I give you the permission to get up?
Unknown – Sleep just like that. Hands bound and clothes off.
I hate him. What kind of twisted fantasy is this? But I’m in no position to argue. So, I surrender; silencing the series of curses that instantly flood inside my mind, and just getting on the damn bed.
Sleep is like death; it comes when it needs to come. And neither can you control it, nor can you escape it. With that realization I slowly dive into sleep mode.
But the thoughts of this are going to haunt my dreams for many nights now... What’s more humiliating, undressing in front of a creep or sleeping with a him watching you all night?