Her
Five days ago, I faced the biggest disaster of my life; in the eyes of the society that is. Only two us know what went down and I have no intention of coming out with it.
Call it fate... but I know I would have been dead if my fiancé did not die. His death was not the kind you normally expect to go around like; not that I deem a dead fiancé as normal, anyways. But according to what news went around on the media, none of the bodies were recovered and the only remains were beyond recognizable.
That was good considering that I personally am of the view that the things that went down that night were better left in the dark; but that also mean that the level to which this man can be dangerous and deranged is absolutely unmissable.
It’s glorious and terrifying at the same fucking time.
But that’s just a part of him, the other side is kind of... I don’t know... admirable. Perhaps because he not only saved my life, but also brought me back to the safety. Undoubtedly, the biggest contradiction he’s ever created.
Even the monsters can sometimes be the saviors, if put into the right kind of situation.
But he is not the only one who defines the word ‘contradiction’. I do, too.
That night cemented the unstable state of my mind. Whatever I feel for this man is nowhere close to what I could call pure gratefulness. I feel a pull, like I need to repay him, however deranged it sounds. However bad it terrifies me.
There is a war waging constantly at his thoughts in my mind; my logical reasoning is in a state of constant conflict with my irrational intuition.
The dispute between my morals and my desires is almost always prominent whenever he seems to be around. Like threatening me to throw me off the cliff of sanity into the dark depths of madness, cutting any threads with the reality of things while I drift into the fiery arms of fatal attraction.
Maybe, you desire the punishment more than he does.
When I tried to explain to Apeksha how shit went down with Abhay at the party, she was almost taken aback; and yet the idea of that monstrosity of a man dropping me back home sounded hysterical to her. And she’s kind of right; men like those don’t just drop you home without using you. But the only right thing to do when you’re grateful to someone, even if you despise them, is defend them.
Thankfully, none of the real shit went down to my parents. They only need the parts that justify my story. Apeksha’s and Mahika’s false testimonies made sure it sounded believable.
But I wish I could pay him back for making sure I was not there during the ‘accident’.
Did Abhay’s parents deserve this? I don’t know... All I know is that he did.
He deserved to die.
But holy hell, that was the worst way to die.
Can’t exactly promise that I did not see any of it, even though he clearly instructed me to paste my eyes shut. And he wasn’t wrong; it was too much to take, even the parts that I did see through my drowsy eyelids.
And he was correct about him being the god of hell; because he indeed looked like Lucifer personified the way he licked the blood off his lips and fingers. And I have no clue whatever my inner hoe found attractive about it.
But it was many things for me. Disgusting. Sick. Deranged.
Hot. Tempting. Seductive.
Aren’t you the unholy one now?
I need to be busy before I do something stupid. Like messaging him that I’m ready for whatever he wants to do to me as a payment of gratitude.
I REACH BACK HOME ATabout eleven at night. My two-and-a-half-hour flight was a comfortable one. In fact, a more than comfortable one, mostly because I shared the entire line of seats with zero people, which should be great for an introverted ass like mine.
Except it happens almost all the time; suspicious and creepy. But that’s some real high-level drama to think about.
Of all the air trips I have made ever since I left for my studies, it has always been either the entire row or the seats near me being all empty. Somehow, it’s hard to believe that it could be a coincidence; but it has to be.
Only once some guy had his seat exchanged with the one beside me; talked to me almost the entire duration and exchanged numbers, seemed really interested. I had my hopes held high. But then I never heard from him again, and when I once did muster up the courage to call him, the lines were dead.
Everything around me just disappears mysteriously, leaving me hopeless and wondering whether I’ll ever have a normal life.
And the only guy who has made it the farthest up till now, never replied to my message. He was typing for a long time that I remember.
Does he even like me?
If he does, why so hot and cold all the time?
I’ll never forget what he did for me that day. No man has ever been so close to me or cared for me in the way he did. And as much as I want to believe it, I can’t take that for uninterest.
Maybe I’ll message him in the morning, I plan in my mind as the wind lightly blows through the stray locks of hair falling on my face. The wind on my terrace is a peaceful one unlike the night before I left. Too suitable for overthinking.
The dim lighting on the floor above catches my attention. The shadow of a man holding a whiskey glass at a distance appears. And to be honest, I don’t mind anymore because I’ve come face to face with the fact that my landlord is a creepy dude too. Always hidden in the shadows; and the fact that I’ve never seen him in person only intensifies the madness around him.
Maybe I’ll pay a visit at his door soon just to make sure that he’s a living breathing human and not some extraterrestrial disguised as a man. Perhaps, I could let him know how bad the security is in the preserved space that he is offering to regular people.
But tonight, I need to focus on relaxing my brain. Tonight, I need to sleep the stress out. I need to feel the freedom of being unbound; I am back to the single woman I’ve always been happy with.
Tomorrow will be a new start. And I’m hoping for Nakul to be in it.