Chapter 19 | Her
It’s been more than twenty-four hours and I still haven’t had a single hour of sleep without nightmares of being abused by a faceless man. It is like I am reliving every moment of the horror on a loop. Something tells me I’m going to be reminiscing on this for a long time now.
But the words he said were so much in contradiction to his actions. It’s like he is a living walking paradox and he has no issues with it; in fact, he’s been overtly flaunting it.
But the words...
I need to get out of the downward spiral, the jerk and his words have pulled me into.
My vision falls to Jess’s message from two hours ago. She was hysterical to come see me when I took a sick leave on a Monday morning, followed by another one today; maybe, because she knows how I normally handle my Monday blues and it is almost never a skip unless I’m not even able to move myself out of bed. And that’s happened umm – never.
But you wouldn’t want her to walk in on you being the way that you are right now. Bruised, inside out. So, I break the rule of not being the first one to call and ring her up.
“Hey sweetie I’m signing out. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” I can picture her walking down the office steps, or at least that’s what it sounds like.
“Where are you right now?”
“I’m on my way...why?”
“You’ve not left the premise, have you?”
“Uhm... nope. But I’m on my way to the lobby... Two minutes and I’ll be out.”
“Jess, you got into trouble again?” there’s knowing in my voice.
She’s been getting into a lot of trouble with the management head these days. Sneaking into the office conference hall and stealing the wine has not paid her well. I mean could stealing ever result in anything good? She never seems to agree with me.
There was one instance when she told me to accompany her and left me outside the conference hall to keep looking just in case. And I did; only to regret later.
I was almost sure that someone had to walk in on us but the odd thing is that no one cared to do that; and something about the whole situation was so uncanny because I could swear that I saw one of the cameras pointed directly towards the entrance. We did not get caught but Jess was called to Anya’s office the next day, where she promised that she only went looking for the expiry dates on the wine bottles because she had some kind of a stomach allergy after the last meeting.
And even though she lacked the perfect pretext, but her acting is amazing beyond belief. She’s that good; and honestly, it’s formidable.
But the weirdness does not end there. Seemed like our dear boss had no problem taking the lie as truth and the fact that Jess got rewarded for her honesty and alertness. The bottles in the bar area of the conference hall were replaced, and Jess was only warned about not carrying the alcohol outside the conference area; and the most astounding part was that she was then rewarded with a hamper of assorted liquor for bringing the mistake to picture.
Call me paranoid, but that seemed suspiciously inordinate.
Her voice through the receiver startles me; pausing the thoughts in my Sherlock Holmes of a mind, “Uhm yep... You can call it that.”
“What did you do this time?” My translation for – give-me-more-food-for-thought.
“Let me come over, and I’ll tell you...”
“Listen Jess, that’s what I called you for... I’m fine. Don’t skip office okay; I don’t want you to get into more trouble than you already have on your plate.”
“I don’t have trouble on my plate. It’s just that I need something on my plate to keep my mind working. And don’t you dare tell me you are okay and that shit right now. Something is wrong and I’m not leaving you to deal with it alone.”
“Everything is fine babe. Please, don’t worry... I may even join from tomorrow.”
“You may? I am coming over D... No more lying, okay?”
“Oh God you really are something else.” I surrender. Guess that’s all I am becoming good at. “Okay. I am not stopping you from coming over. But please don’t skip office timing.”
“Fine. I’ll come see you in the evening.”
“Okay... Oh, and do you have another bottle on you J?”
“You are not drinking tonight. God! Disha you already are sounding meek and now you want to drink. No way in hell, you are not so much as touching alcohol until you’re absolutely fine.”
She lectures me for another ten minutes after which I desperately hang up.
Maybe I could explain my urge in a much better way when she visits me tonight.
She shared the alcohol with me generously which consisted of bottles of vodka and a bottle of premium red wine. But then the story gets weirder. I am not much of a drinker. In fact, I had my first taste of alcohol the night of Veer’s birthday. And the habit I have developed in the past few months of having my high is inexplicable.
Do people get into habits so darn easily? Or the bottles are more intoxicating because I’m usually upset nowadays?
Because anywhere outside I do not get much of the high I need, as much the ones that we bring from our office. And there’s so little left of the red wine. God! I need it so bad.
Getting up from the couch, which has been my shoulder to cry on for the past two days, my leg brushes against the wooden coffee table and a cry of pain followed by a series of curses fall from my mouth. The scab forming on my wounds is scratched from the place where I hit myself. Ugh I’m getting really tired of hurting myself.
Especially this time when there’s nobody to talk to. Or to care for me the way he first did.
I have been avoiding Nakul’s calls and messages, and only return if he threatens to reach out to my apartment. Because that’s what I am supposed to do for the safety of the only man who has ever been able to infiltrate the high security of my heart.
I suppose my silence on the whole incident has resulted in a kind of reward from my self-proclaimed master. He has been quiet too for the past two days. And I wish he forever holds his silence.
The difficult part is I could still keep his dick for myself while throwing the rest of him into a raging inferno. If only that was possible. I’ve turned into a slut in my mind where I can confess how good his cock tasted, but the way he shoved it in me was disrespectful in every sense of word.
As if there’s a respectful way of doing it, you fool!My inner self is quite literally a bitch; and I literally sneer a cuss at myself all the fucking time these days.
I DESCEND DOWNSTAIRSto pick up the laundry, when I spot him and my heart instantly flutters inside my chest. Nakul is talking on the phone, listening to the other person talk quite seriously. How can someone look so damn hot even when extremely angry on whoever is on the other end of the line.
My eyes trace the sexy form of his pink flushed face brimming with the kind of heat that rushes to my insides, firing my fragile heart up. Only this man has the power to do it.
Scanning his form, I notice his damp hair, slightly messed up by the morning run he never misses; scattering on his face making the beautiful glimmer even brighter. There’s a light stubble on his perfectly carved jawline, and surrounding his pink plumped up lips; lips that sent me to heaven and made my toes curl at the same time. Lips that created magic when they were on mine. His usual white sports tee hugs his perfectly muscular body, and is a sight one can rivel in when imagining him do nastiness to them.
Are you one of them? Maybe... I almost smile.
I feel the urgent need to pace towards him and ask if everything is alright. But something tells me he’s going to come rushing towards me the moment he sees me; mainly because I have been avoiding him since our date night.
I never wanted to, but the way things turned out, it’s in our best interest.
And especially because the creep not only knows his name, but also remembers it.
None of that is happening ever again; I have promised myself. I’ll be the sweet little slave the maniac wants me to be until I figure something out. And this time I’ll actually escape and be gone for good. Even if that means avoiding Nakul.
Only till I figure out a way. There’s got to be a way...
I keep walking towards my destination but a sudden movement in my direction steals my attention. I spot Payal on my way to the laundry place, and even though I am in no mood to entertain anybody right now I smile back at her approaching self.
“Disha... where have you been?” Her smile is downright shallow when she begins checking me out.
I shift at the thought of exposing any of my bruises. Last time I checked, my face looked absolutely fine, except it lacked the usual glow. But that can be blamed at lack of sleep. Yes, I have an excuse ready.
“I tried calling you yesterday but you never answered. Nor returned.”
“I have been busy with work. Too much of load.” I gulp hard making up lies spontaneously.
“Too bad. Look at you, poor thing! You look weak and unwell.”
I smile sheepishly at the insult wrapped in the fancy cover of concern.
“Anyways I wanted to invite you to an event. It’s an art festival. Had a feeling you’d like to come. The entry is by invite only unless you want to purchase a VIP pass, which I guess you wouldn’t want to.”
I smile and nod at her poison. Of late I have come to recognize her as the typical gossip aunt of the society. Too much information, too little factual knowledge. And she sugarcoats her insults. The perfect mix to avoid.
“I am not well. I don’t think I’ll be able to join.” I say returning the fake smile. Wonder if she can sense it.
“The event is happening next month. You’ll be better by that time. Plus, there are going to be loads of celebrities in this one; it’s going to be big. I got my hands on these passes a month in advance. Keep it! you may change your mind later.”
She hands me over the tickets, and hurries away with a cunning smile on her already wicked face. Two steps ahead, she’s turning back to me with a toothy grin, “And eat properly, you’ll want to look extra pretty for this one.”
What kind of cryptic shit was that. I laugh and cringe at the thought, both at the same time. I am utterly confused these days, at the weirdness people are exhibiting in their behavior. Or is your Sherlock Holmes brain? Looking at everything from a suspicious angle.
I better leave this place before all these weirdos actually come together to murder the detective in me.
After she disappears, I sense a pair of eyes at the periphery. Predatorial!
But when I turn to look; the man staring back at me is hardly a predator. Nakul has spot me from the distance; his eyes widening as he winds up his call, rushing in my direction.
His expression changing from the earlier angry one to that of the warmth I fell for. He is calling my name as I turn away like I haven’t seen him standing there or advancing towards me; or I haven’t heard my name in his enticing low-pitched masculine voice.
I love those lips when they take the shape of my name, and the softness with which he says it. I don’t remember anyone making my name sound sweet and sexy at the same time. The same way in which he makes me feel whenever I am with him.
Will I ever be able to find another man like him?
It’s painful when I have to act like I haven’t noticed him; but I doubt the pace with which I am rushing towards the elevator will give me away.
His long legs leaping in my direction as I rush and press the buttons for my way up. He is almost running towards me and a familiar rush of fear starts crushing my insides. The feeling of a prey, running away from the predator; running for my life. Only this is not the guy I should be afraid of.
Keeping my eyes occupied on anything other than him, I can feel disappointment seep on his face as the elevator doors close shut.
He must have understood what you did there. You avoided him without giving proper explanation and that’s selfish.
But that’s exactly what I am trying not to be.