3 Chemistry
Walking into tutor, Jack and I part ways. I plonk myself down between Geri and Robyn.
‘Morning everyone!’ Mr Powell announces as he walks in.
‘What’s he doing here?’ Geri whispers.
‘I’m sorry to say Mrs Sherman is dealing with a personal issue at this time. As such, I’ll be stepping in to cover until she’s back,’ he says, unpacking his laptop.
‘When’s she back sir?’ Geri asks.
‘Not sure. Until then, you’re stuck with me,’ he says, raising a little smirk.
He turns to the whiteboard and picks up an eraser. His silver watch reflects the winter sun into my eyes, as if the universe is asking, ‘Are you paying attention?’ Geri and I swoon as we watch Mr Powell’s jumper lift up and his bum wiggle back and forth with every wipe of the board. He’s not a tall man, so he has to tiptoe to reach all the scribbled notes. As he turns back around and readjusts his jumper, his blue eyes meet mine for a moment.
Yep…blue eyes are definitely my weakness.
‘Cam, you’re dribbling,’ Robyn jests.
I wipe the crease of my mouth and shake off my stare.
Silence falls for Mr Powell to take the register. I lean back in my chair and start wandering around the room with my eyes, counting the ceiling tiles for the hundredth time. I glance across the courtyard that separates the sixth-form blocks and look into the classroom opposite.
Wait. Is that—
Sitting at a table near the window, in all his shining hoodie armour, is Finn! I gasp loud enough to draw the attention of the classroom.
‘Cameron?’ Mr Powell says in a slightly raised voice.
I spin my head back from the window.
‘Sorry, here,’ I reply.
Mr Powell continues taking the register.
‘What?’ Robyn whispers.
‘No one.’
Crap!
‘Nothing,’ I correct myself.
As the hum of morning chatter picks up, Geri looks over my head.
‘Is that the guy from the burger van?!’ Geri points and shouts loud enough for China to hear.
My eyes widen and I try my best to play off my fixated stare. I scrunch up my face and squint through the window.
‘Oh, is it? I wouldn’t know,’ I say.
‘You’re so full of shit. It’s definitely him. And you would know. You were practically eye-humping each other before the fireworks,’ Geri says, smacking my arm with the back of her hand.
‘Wait, have I missed something?’ Robyn asks.
‘Cam spoke to a practical god this weekend!’ Geri exclaims.
My cheeks flush. ‘He’s alright I guess.’
Robyn leans back in her chair to get a better look through the window. Thankfully, Finn’s engrossed in whatever his tutor’s saying.
‘Mother may I?’ Robyn says, as she rocks her chair back down with a thud.
‘I know right?’ Geri says.
We’re full-on staring. He turns his head slightly and catches us like deer in headlights! We gasp, drop our heads and hide behind our hands.
I take a beat, then peer over Robyn. He’s still looking! Bugger! What do I do?!
I crack a smile and raise a shy wave. He points, twigging that it’s me. He mouths, ‘I know you!’ He smiles, but is then drawn back to his tutor.
Robyn looks back up to study him. ‘That’s the kind of guy you want to treat you like the naughty girl you are…’ she says to herself, perhaps not realising she was speaking aloud.
She turns back, slightly offended by our surprised staring.
‘What? He is!’ she exclaims.
Mr Powell raises his eyebrow just before the bell rings.
‘Have a good day guys!’ he says.
I go the opposite way to what I’m supposed to, hoping to catch Finn coming out of tutor. No luck. Between each lesson, I scan the face of every passing sixth-former to see if it’s him. By lunch though, I still haven’t seen him. While everyone’s eyes are deep in their phones, I scan the canteen. I question whether it was even him.
The bell rings.
‘You coming Cam?’ Robyn asks.
‘Huh?’
‘We’ve got chemistry.’
‘Oh, coming.’
Mounting my usual stool next to the girls, I unpack my bag and drop it on the floor. As it hits the tiles, the door swings open. Finn peers his head into the classroom and my heart stops.
‘Mr Powell?’ he says.
‘Yes?’
‘I’m Finn. Mrs Barkley said I’d be joining your class?’
‘Ah yes, Finn Arthur? Do come in!’ Mr Powell gestures to the empty stool next to me.
My heart restarts, but increases in beats per minute as he walks over. Geri and Robyn follow him around the room with their eyes. As he passes them, Robyn leans back, checks him out and winks at me with a thumbs-up. I reply with a ‘shut up’ stare. Finn pulls out the stool to my side and smiles. He drops his bag down on one arm and mounts the stool, flashing his perfectly aligned white teeth. A waft of sandalwood and sage cologne dances on a gust of wind.
‘Fancy seeing you here,’ he whispers.
‘Hello again,’ I whisper back.
I don’t know where to look or how to act. All I can hear is the thudding of my heartbeat in my ears. Mr Powell’s voice snaps me back to consciousness.
‘Today, we’re going to continue with reactions of ions in aqueous solutions. For this, we’re going to be running a test-tube experiment and I’ll need you all to buddy up.’
‘Oh, dearest Geri, would you perhaps like to be my experiment partner this fine day?!’ Robyn decrees, actively pointing out they’re colluding to set me up with Finn.
‘Why countess Robyn, I’d be delighted!’ replies Geri in an all-too-English accent.
I worry about looking too keen if I immediately try to buddy up with Finn. Evidently, that’s not a concern for Helen Miller, who dismounts her stool from the row in front.
‘You’re Finn, right?’ Helen asks as she practically plants her cleavage on the desk.
‘I am…’
‘I’m Helen. Listen, I know what it’s like coming to a new school and not really knowing anyone…’
‘Helen, you’ve been here since Year 7,’ I interject.
‘Oh, you,’ she says, playfully slapping my hand.
I recoil my hand and roll my eyes away from her.
‘Listen, I’d be happy to be your partner. Maybe introduce you to some of my friends?’ Helen seductively places her hands in front of Finn and shamelessly tries to use her biggest assets to win him over.
‘Wow, thanks. That’s really kind of you to offer, but I think I’m gonna partner with Cam here.’ Finn jabs my arm with his elbow.
My face involuntarily lights up and I do my best to play it off.
‘Oh…okay. Well, let me know if you change your mind,’ replies Helen as she tries to make her voice sound more ‘sexy’ and less ‘nails-on-a-chalkboard.’ She fake-smiles at me and retreats to her seat.
‘She seems interesting,’ Finn says, leaning in closer to me.
‘You have no idea.’
Finn’s attention is taken by Mr Powell. Mine is taken by Finn’s right arm, close enough to caress. His t-shirt sleeve tightly hugs his biceps; his forearm has veins crisscrossing from his elbow to his wrist—my God! His hands are massive! I place my left hand flat on the bench to study the size difference as discreetly as I can. He glances at me. I close my hand and smile quickly.
‘Right you lot, come and collect one of these, one of these, two of these and a stand from the back of the room,’ instructs Mr Powell, gesturing to the equipment set out on his desk.
I go to push my stool out before Finn rests his hand on my forearm.
‘It’s cool, I’ll get ’em,’ he says, turning off his stool.
‘Robyn dearest, would you be so kind as to fetch the materials that we doth require?’ Geri says.
‘Certainly, Geremiah. I’ll make haste and return by morn,’ Robyn replies.
‘Hi, I’m Robyn,’ Robyn says to Finn, putting her hand out to shake his as they walk over to the equipment.
‘Looks like you’ve scored partner of the year,’ Geri says, leaning into me. ‘He’s so gorgeous it hurts my eyes.’
‘I can’t say I’ve noticed.’
‘Do I need to wash shit out of your eyes?! I’m telling you now, either you fall in love with him, or I’ll do it for you.’
‘Come on, there’s no way he’s gay. Look at him!’ I say, gesturing towards him gripping a Bunsen burner in his fist.
‘Oh, don’t worry. I’m lookin’. Anyway, how do you know?’
‘I don’t, but still. My gaydar isn’t beeping.’
‘Cam, your gaydar’s terrible. Or do I need to recall the list of straight boys you’ve fallen for in the past three years?’ She pauses to see if I retaliate.
I stare at her in defiance.
‘Sam Walker, Mark Garber, Jake Palmer, Alex Hamp—’
‘You’ve made your point. Now, shut up. They’re coming back.’
‘Why yes, that does sound like a good idea!’ Geri announces loudly.
‘What’s a good idea?’ Robyn asks as she and Finn return, dropping off the equipment on the desks.
‘Cam’s suggested we go bowling! There’s a two-for-one offer on I think,’ Geri says, overacting her heart out.
‘I’m in,’ Robyn replies.
‘Great! Oh, but hang on. It’s a two-for-one offer and there’s three of us. Hmm…’ Geri says, continuing this drama masterclass.
‘Hey Finn, would you like to come with us?’ Robyn says, picking up on Geri’s not-so-subtle sideways nod.
Finn looks up from the equipment he’s trying to set up.
‘Um, yeah, sure,’ he replies.
‘Perfect!’ Geri says.
I lean into Geri. ‘I’m going to kill you,’ I whisper.
‘I’d like to see you try.’
***
‘Dance mat?’ Robyn asks.
‘Oh, you’re on!’ I reply.
We’re killing time waiting for Geri and Finn to arrive. Robyn skips through the tracks one by one, listening to about one second of each before outrightly saying no and skipping to the next one.
‘I Will Survive!’ I yell, pointing at the screen.
Robyn selects it and pushes her headband back.
The game counts us down and we stomp our feet in time with the scrolling arrows. I’m doing pretty well, considering I haven’t played this in about five years!
‘Bollocks!’ Robyn shouts as she misses the double jump.
Her missing one of the steps spurs me on more, as my hair starts to flop down from its hair-sprayed position. The moves get increasingly harder as we laugh and yelp whenever we miss a step or stomp on each other’s feet.
The last move is coming up: a simultaneous jump on the left and right arrow. I check the score and see I’ve already won. Maybe a showy move at the end will really rub it in. The last move comes up. I jump and spin one hundred and eighty degrees to land facing away from the screen.
‘Ta-dah!’ I shout.
I look up to see Geri and Finn watching us with mouths ajar. My lips fold in on themselves.
‘Nice moves,’ Finn says, his mouth creasing into a grin.
‘Thanks,’ I gasp through a breath.
‘Oh, hey!’ Robyn says, spinning around from the screen.
Geri takes Robyn in her arm, disappearing into the arcade games. Finn and I linger for a moment. I try to control my panting, fiddling with the ends of my sleeves. He looks awkwardly to one side and opens his mouth slightly. He quickly closes it again. I try to speak, but can’t draw air for words, only survival. How he thinks of me is more important than anything right now. I wonder how I’m standing and if the sweat is visible on my neck. Thinking about it only makes me sweat more. He looks at my neck. I freeze. He smiles.
‘It was really nice of you guys to invite me.’
‘It’s no problem.’
My cheeks flush warmer. I wait for a visual cue of how to act around him.
‘Should we?’ He points to the girls.
‘Yeah,’ I say, wincing at my inability to function in this moment.
Following the girls through the arcade, we occasionally catch one another’s eye-line. I don’t know whether to hold it or look away. Or maybe I should say something? But no matter how much I think, topics of conversation fail me. He’s so gorgeous. I can’t think straight. Literally.
‘So, Finn, what brings you to our little corner of hell?’ Robyn asks, while Geri books us in with the attendant behind the desk.
‘Uh, my dad moves a lot with work,’ Finn replies.
‘Oh, nice. Doing what?’ Robyn asks.
‘MOD,’ Finn says.
Geri overhears and spins around from the desk. ‘Is he a secret agent?’ she whispers.
‘Oh no, nothing like that,’ Finn laughs.
‘What’s the MOD?’ Robyn asks.
‘Ministry of Defence right?’ I say while seeking Finn’s approval.
He nods and smiles.
‘We’re going to get the lane set up,’ Geri says before dragging Robyn away.
The lingering silence takes me by surprise. I clear my throat and look at his side profile.
‘Do you mind the moving?’ I ask.
He pauses, then slowly moves off from the desk. I follow his lead as we track the girls.
‘It has its pros and cons. This move wasn’t exactly planned.’
‘What do you mean?’
Finn’s eyes dart from left to right. He coughs and completely ignores the question, looking up at the score screen.
‘Who’s Buttmunch?’ he asks.
‘Why Cameron of course,’ Geri says, looking up from the keyboard and sniggering to herself.
I immediately shove her out of the way and take the joystick to edit to ‘Cam.’
‘How long have you guys been friends?’ Finn asks.
Geri looks over to Robyn, instructing her to take the lead.
‘We’ve been in the same class since Year 1, but I guess we’ve only been a unit since…I don’t know…Year 10?’ Robyn says.
‘Something like that,’ Geri says.
‘You’re going out with that guy, Noel, right?’ Finn asks Robyn.
‘Uhh…’ Robyn’s jaw hangs open.
‘Oh shit, sorry, do people not know?’
‘Well, I don’t think I am. Did he say we are?’
Finn looks over to me with a worried look before he tries digging himself out of the figurative hole he’s dug himself.
‘He was talking about you in my geography class. Just the way he was talking sounded like you two were a thing.’
‘He…He was talking about me?’ Robyn blushes.
‘Yeah, you know West? He was teasing Noel about being single. But then Noel was like, “I’m with Robyn, you bellend!” Which I’m guessing is you? The Robyn part. Not the bellend part,’ Finn says, gritting his teeth.
Geri raises her eyebrow. My brow follows suit. I always just assumed he was stringing Robyn along. She’s beautiful inside and out, but I wouldn’t exactly call her Noel’s type. I’ve only ever seen him with petite, white, blonde and busty. And that’s not Robyn.
‘Okay Finn, you’re up!’ Geri says, pointing at the screen.
As Finn gets up to bowl, Geri leans into me.
‘Maybe he’s bi?’ Geri whispers.
‘Geri, I swear to God…’
‘Okay, okay. But if he comes out, you owe me a pizza night,’ Geri says.
Finn bowls, and Geri looks up from our whisper to watch. The ball travels perfectly down the centre of the lane before the crash of a strike rings out.
‘Oh yeah…I’m awesome,’ Finn says, turning back with a cocky grin.
Geri’s nostrils flare. Robyn’s eyes connect with mine and she grits her teeth. I read, ‘Uh oh, there’s two of them’ on her pulled expression.
Reaching the last bowl of the second game, if Geri gets a strike, she’s won. If not, Finn’s won. Robyn and I are sitting on the edge of our seats sipping slushies, having given up hope of winning about six bowls ago. It’s been a constant back and forth between Finn and Geri leading.
Geri bowls…Gutter-ball. We gasp.
‘For fuck’s sake!’ she yells.
The family next to us looks over in shock and the dad cups his hands over his toddler’s ears. I mouth over a sorry before Finn looks at me in horror. I pull the shocked expression off my face.
‘She’ll be fine,’ I say.
‘Finn…’ Geri says, turning around and approaching him. ‘Best of three?’
‘I’ve actually gotta take off. Need to get home to the dog as Mum’s out tonight.’
Geri’s eye twitches. I catch Robyn’s stare and we telepathically formulate a plan.
‘Geri, why don’t we get you a slushy, huh?!’ Robyn says, jumping up.
‘I’ll walk you out,’ I say to Finn, quickly picking up his jacket and walking him away by his elbow.
‘Did I do something wrong?’ Finn asks.
‘Oh, it’s just Geri. She’s not a good loser,’ I say, all too occupied with saving his life.
‘Oh no, I feel like I should apologise.’
‘No, no, she’ll be fine.’
I check back to see Geri safely inhaling a slushy and a hotdog. Robyn throws me a thumbs-up to communicate all is well. As we walk through the arcade games, Finn and I fall into an awkward silence again. I want to say something, but every time my mouth goes to open, it dries up. We push the doors open to the car park.
‘I’m just over here,’ he says, pointing to a small blue car lit under a street lamp at the back.
‘You have a car? Wait, how?! Are you seventeen already?’
‘Yeah, in coming to Seaton, I had to restart sixth form since my courses were all different here. I turn eighteen in May.’
‘Wow. I mean, rubbish you had to retake Year 12, but I’m so impressed you have a car! Don’t tell anyone though. Otherwise you’ll be doing daily runs to McDonald’s at lunch.’
‘I’ll take you to McDonald’s at lunch if you want?’
That might be the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.
‘Oh no, no. Slippery slope to doing it every day,’ I laugh.
‘I can think of worse things.’ He looks down at my twiddling fingers.
I blush and focus on keeping my feet walking forward.
Finn pulls out his keys and unlocks the car. The headlights project thin shadows of the loose tarmac across the car park.
‘I had a great time. Robyn and Geri are really fun,’ Finn says, opening his car door and resting his elbow on the roof.
‘Am I not fun?’ I jest.
‘No, you are! You are.’ He blushes.
I glance up at the streetlamp above and notice the way it backlights his profile. The peeking of light through his coiffed hair, the highlighting of his nose and how his eyes are barely visible under the shadow of his brow.
‘I’m glad you came,’ I say timidly.
‘Me too. I guess I’ll see you Monday, then?’
‘See you Monday.’
He opens the door and steadies it with his fingers. He looks down at my chest and pushes the car door open further. Taking a step forward, his arms wrap around my waist. My eyes only just about peer over his shoulder. I try to soak up every last drop of this moment. How tall he seems. How he smells. How his hands feel as they firmly hold my lower back. I pass my hands around his torso. The smooth texture of his tightly woven jacket makes it almost tricky to hold on to him, like he’s literally slipping through my fingers. I feel his chin resting on my shoulder before he slowly backs out. His quiff glides across my ear as his eyes emerge from beside my face. He blinks himself out of our locked moment, smiles quickly and clears his throat.
He bends into the car and I stand back to allow the door to swing closed. I smile at the car and go to turn away. The engine starts and the electric motor of the window whirls down.
‘Cam?’ he says through the open window.
I turn back and take a couple of paces up to the car, crouching down ever so slightly to meet his level.
‘Pass me your phone,’ he says.
I slide my phone out of my pocket, unlock it and pass it through the open window. As my hand meets his, the warmth of his palm catches me off guard. So much so that it makes my whole arm tense with hesitation. He wraps his hand under mine and pauses, his blue eyes in my hazel. His eyelids flicker slightly before his thumb slides down my hand and takes my phone.
I over-excite myself as I watch him open my contacts and add himself.
‘There,’ he says, passing my phone back. ‘Now you can call me if you ever want a trip to McDonald’s.’
I scoop my hand underneath his to receive my phone. The tops of our fingers rest on one another, which sends an electric pulse straight up to my heart. We both dart our eyes up from the phone to meet one another in a frozen state.
‘I’ll uh…text you.’ I smile.
He smiles back and puts his hands on the steering wheel.
‘I look forward to it.’