51. JACKSON
FIFTY-ONE
JACKSON
I get a parade of backslaps and good jobs from my teammates as I sit stunned in front of my locker.
The skipper called me a fucking showoff, but he said it with a grin, and it instantly made me feel like I belong.
There’s so much uncertainty right now. With the meetings Chuck had today with the GM and front office.
With Frankie. I needed this. I close my eyes.
I needed this. Baseball has always been what saved me.
And when everything fell apart, it caught me again.
I check my phone and smile at the congratulatory texts from the crew—all blowing up the group chat. I scroll through. There’s one from my brother. I’d barely had a chance to shoot him a text to let him know what was happening.
Jake
So proud of you, little bro. Debuting in fucking style. That catch is going to be all over the sports broadcasts.
I bite my cheek. Yeah, I suppose I’ll have a little more attention on me than I expected.
Chuck Wentworth
Meetings went well. We’ll discuss in the morning. I know you have an afternoon game, so how about you give me a ring at six. Enjoy your win and seeing your boyfriend.
The bar of tension I’d been carrying disappears, and my shoulders slump into what is probably the first relaxed position they’ve been in in twenty-four hours.
The meetings went well. I don’t really know what that means, but I know Chuck wouldn’t push off the conversation until the morning unless he really meant it.
My phone dings with a new message. I frown. It’s a link to a local news article from Shane in our group chat. A group chat that is now blowing up.
Nebs
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! ARE YOU FOR REAL????!!!!
Barnes
FUCK YEAH BABY
Michaels
I’m so real baby
Stone
FUCK. YES.
Okay. If Stone is using all caps, this must be good. I click the link—and blink. And blink. And then it crashes into me. My chest seizes, and my eyes well as tears build so fast I can’t blink them back. I don’t even want to. Oh my God.
A text notification pops up at the top of the screen.
Winters
Justice!!!
I re-read the article, fearing it might change from the first time I’d read it.
East Providence Man Arrested on Multiple Charges Including Aggravated Assault Charges.
My fingers shake as I scroll through the article. There it is, right before my eyes.
John Devereux, 34, of East Providence was arrested early Sunday morning on multiple charges, including aggravated assault, following an alleged altercation at a local bar, according to police.
Authorities say officers responded to reports of a disturbance at a bar on Main Avenue shortly after midnight.
Investigators allege that Devereux became involved in a confrontation after being refused service by a bartender.
Police say the situation escalated, and Devereux allegedly struck the bartender with a broken beer bottle, causing serious injuries.
The injured bartender was transported to a nearby hospital for treatment. Police did not immediately release details regarding the extent of the injuries.
According to police, Devereux fled the scene before officers arrived. A short time later, he was located during a traffic stop several miles away. Officers reportedly observed signs of impairment, and Devereux was taken into custody.
Devereux has been charged with aggravated assault, leaving the scene of an incident, and driving under the influence. He was transported to East Providence Police Headquarters for processing.
My text alert is dinging non-stop, so I tap back to the chat.
Barnes
I think that means he’s looking at 3 to 7 years. FUCK YEAH.
Michaels
Roses are redddd, violets are blue, karma’s a bitch, fuck you Devereux!
Winters
That was beautiful Shane
Stone
I’m pretty sure he’s already had a DUI. So he’s probably looking at more like 5 to 10 years.
Nebs
THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER
I’m crying. Please tell me I’m not the only one crying.
Barnes
I’m sitting next to you. You’re not crying.
Nebs
I am crying IN MY HEART.
I wipe the few tears that escaped.
Me
I am not ashamed one bit to admit I shed tears. This is the best fucking news.
Michaels
What a day. Badass Big League appearance WITH a win. Dev got what was fucking coming to him. Now you get to go see your man.
A grin breaks free, threatening to break my face in two. What a fucking day indeed.
Nebs
Oh yeah. Good game, bro.
Winters
Oh shit. GOOD GAME!
Barnes
I am cackling over here. You played some killer ball out there today, Jackson.
Michaels
*sniffs* Our little Olliebear is all grown up
“You heading out, rook?” Schultz stops by my side.
I turn Schultz’s way. “Yeah, just, you know, staring blankly into my locker and getting bombarded by my old teammates.”
He grins. “Yeah, it’s pretty fucking surreal. Come on, I’ll show you where family hangs out.”
I grab my small duffle and throw it over my shoulder. It’s kind of mind-blowing how much shit you get when you start playing in the majors. Fortunately, the Enforcers don’t require us to dress up in suits when coming to and from games, so I’m in my new BDE hoodie and gym shorts.
We head out of the locker room and down the hall.
“Sometimes we’ll get the stray kid running through the locker room. Because kids be kids, you know? One thing I’ve really loved about the Enforcers is they’re super family oriented. There is a lounge and playroom down this way. My wife and my two boys will be there. Maybe my brother too.”
I swallow and shift my bag. I’d love to have who I consider family here waiting for me after a game. I guess we’ll see how Chuck’s discussions went—and how accepting the team is. The last thing I’d want is Frankie hanging out here and having to deal with people being assholes.
A brown-haired boy comes darting out of a room up ahead, a woman with the same color hair and a lightly curved figure hurrying after him. Schultz lights up. He hurries forward and scoops up the boy.
“Hey, Nico! Did you watch Daddy’s game?”
The little boy nods as the woman walks up to Schultz’s side and gives him a quick peck on the lips.
“And? What’d you think? How’d he do?”
The boy shrugs, looking unimpressed. “Eh.”
“Eh!” Schultz says in outrage.
A man steps out of the room—who looks identical to Schultz, just a bit slimmer.
Schultz glares at him. “You totally got him to say that.”
The man grins. Schultz rolls his eyes as he turns to me. “Olander, this is my boy Nico.” He throws a thumb over his shoulder. “This is my brother, Asshole.”
“Jimmy,” his wife admonishes.
He winces. “Whoops,” he mouths.
“Asshole!” Nico says excitedly. I think he’s probably around three or four, but I’m horrible with guessing kids’ ages.
Schultz drops his head in defeat. He points to his wife. “This is Amy. She’s my wife, soon-to-be murderer.”
I bite back my grin and offer my hand to shake. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“Oh, he’s got manners,” Amy says with a teasing smile.
Schultz’s brother slowly rakes his gaze over me, and I still. That was…I’m pretty sure he’s—
“Damn, you’re pretty,” he says. “I’ll take you manners or not.”
My eyes fly wide, and my head whips toward Schultz.
Schultz chuckles. “You’ll have to excuse Ryan. He hits on every single one of my teammates.”
“That is false. I hit on the ones I’d—”
“Ryan,” Amy scolds.
It’s his turn to look chagrined. “Whoops,” he mouths.
He and Schultz dissolve into laughter. My heart twists at the clear family mannerisms. I hope Jake and I can get there too. I think we’ve got a shot.
Schultz turns to me, hazel eyes glittering. “I’ve told Ryan he should just give up. But he’s determined to find the mythical gay baseball player. I’m sure there are queer guys playing, but I don’t think a single one is out. So, the odds are really not good.”
Ryan shrugs with an easy smile. “What kind of message does that send, Jimbo? How many guys make it to be professional baseball players? You beat the odds; I’m sure I can too.” He winks at me.
I shift my bag, and my chest tightens. This is kind of the perfect setup. My gut knots in an attempt to tell me that this is not perfect and I should get the hell out of here.
Ryan’s brows pinch. “Are you okay? Shit, did I make you uncomfortable? You look like you’re going to be sick.”
Fuck. No. I’m not going to be like this anymore. I draw in a deep breath. “Actually, I am gay.”
The hall goes silent. All eyes lock on me. Including the big hazel eyes of the little boy in Schultz’s arms. Oh God. This is awkward.
Ryan’s jaw, which was previously on the floor, snaps back up. “Oh my God!” He punches the air. “I found one! A mythical gay unicorn baseball player! Dibs.”
I laugh awkwardly.
“Ryan, don’t. Give the man a moment before you start your teasing up again.
” Schultz hands his son over to his wife.
He walks up to me and claps me on the shoulder.
“As you might have guessed.” He nods toward his brother.
“We’re a safe space. I think most of the guys are.
They’ve never shown anything but kindness to Ryan.
” His gaze turns serious. “But if anyone gives you even the smallest hint of trouble, you let me know.”
My cheeks burn. I don’t even know why I’m embarrassed. I guess I kind of just hate that this has to be a thing. If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn’t need my agent to meet with the fucking GM and PR department. I wouldn’t have to come out and tell them all I like vaginas.
“You okay?” Schultz asks quietly.
I nod stiffly and try for a smile. “Sorry. Just an overwhelming twenty-four hours.”
“And that was kind of a big moment,” Ryan says, watching me carefully. “I joke about you being a unicorn, but it’s true. You’ve got cojones, Olander. And let me tell you, I’m active in the queer community in Berkeley. We’ll ride for you.”
Oh. A lump builds in my throat. “Th-thanks.” That’s really fucking nice.
“And if you want, I’ll ride—”
“Ryan,” Schultz warns.
Ryan lifts his hands, but his eyes sparkle. My smile is genuine now. I appreciate him defusing the charged moment. I swear I’ve been hopping between delirious laughter and breaking into tears since I got the news yesterday.
“I, um, should get out of here. My, ah, boyfriend flew out. I didn’t get to see him before I left, with how fast the trade happened.”
Amy’s face softens in sympathy. “Oh goodness. Get out of here and to your man. You poor things. I would have been out of my mind. Jimmy’s first year was a rollercoaster. I remember it all too well, and yeah—go, go.”
I send them all a smile, say a quick thanks, and then head for the parking lot where my rental car is. I swear to fucking Willie Mays—the greatest center fielder of all time—Chuck Wentworth is a magician and an angel. I don’t know how I would have gotten through all of this without him.
I pick up my pace.
Amy said it right.
Time to go see my man.