55. FRANKIE
FIFTY-FIVE
FRANKIE
I settle at my usual spot at my office. I’m surprised it’s even open, considering I decided to work from home this morning and come in after lunch.
A smile plays on my face as I get my laptop hooked up. I can’t believe I’m even smiling considering I had to leave the love of my life back in California with no idea when I’m seeing him again. But something shifted on Sunday night.
I’ve known I’m in love with Jackson for a while, but after what we shared that night, he doesn’t just own my heart; he holds it. He took it right out of my chest and placed it next to his.
And what did my heart do? That little bitch cozied right up to Jackson’s heart and settled in like it’d found its forever home.
Said arrivederci to me as I boarded my plane and flew back to Providence.
So, while I miss Jackson terribly, my heart is still happily with him, and I can’t help but feel like we are going to figure this out.
Optimism is a heady thing.
As Shaney-babe would say: Manifest.
As soon as my computer finishes booting up, I tap my chat and scan my contacts looking for a familiar name with a green circle next to it. I grin and open an IM window.
Me: Guess where I was this weekend?
Gen: Where? And good morning to you too.
Me: San Francisco.
I sit back with a smile and wait.
Gen: You BITCH
I cackle softly. Knew she’d be rage-y that I didn’t reach out. There was no way I could fit in seeing her, though. Nor was I mentally in a place where I could people—even with someone as understanding as Gen.
I scooch forward and tap away at my keyboard.
Me: You know that guy I told you about?
Gen: The man you refused to name.
I bite my lip. I can practically hear her frustrated huff.
Me: Yeah, him. He moved to San Francisco last week. Well, Berkeley, to be exact.
Gen: …
Gen: I need more. What’s going on here? The guy you were casually fucking moves away and you…fly out with him?
Gen: You want to know what. No. Fuck this.
My phone rings.
I shake my head and hurry toward the stairs. I pop my phone to my ear as I turn into the stairwell. “Well, hello there, beautiful.”
“You have some serious explaining to do, babe.”
“I will. In a second. I need to get out of earshot.”
She makes a soft screeching sound. “Out of earshot? Why so stealthy?” She sucks in a breath. “No. Frankie. This isn’t another situation like with McAsshole, is it?”
I make a disgusted sound in the back of my throat. “God, no.” I step out onto the sidewalk and do a cursory look around before heading toward a coffee shop I frequent on Brewster Street.
“So, first you have to promise you’ll keep this to yourself. But this guy I’ve been seeing—Jackson.”
“Oooh. Jackson. I like it. Sexy. Let me guess. Dark hair. Tall. Broody. Hmm. A bit pouty.”
I halt. “How the fuck did you get that from his name? And yes. You’re right, you witch.”
“I just have a gift for these things. So, tell me more about this Jackson who now lives in California.”
I spot a bench and flop onto it. It’s eighty-five degrees, and I’m already sweating.
“He’s the one, Gen.”
She gasps. “Baby!”
I worry my lip, and dammit, my eyes start to burn. “Yeah. Um. So, small problem is he now lives across the country from me.”
“Why did he move? Does he feel the same way as you?”
“Yeah, but it’s complicated. You can’t tell anyone, Gen. You promise?”
“I promise…” It’s obvious by her tone that she has no idea where I’m going with this.
“Jackson…Jackson is Jackson Olander. He’s a baseball player who just got—”
“I know who the fuck he is!”
My eyes fly wide.
“Shit.” Her words muffle. “Sorry. So sorry.” Her voice comes in clear again. “I think everyone in the office hates me now.”
“That wouldn’t be new.”
“Um. Rude.”
I chuckle.
“I’ll go back to being pissed over that later. But did you really just say you are dating who you said you are dating? Because if what you said is what you said, then. You. Said.”
“I don’t even know how to answer that because I have no idea what you just said.
But I’m dating Jackson Olander. And I’m madly in love with him.
And he’s madly in love with me back. Like he told his team in love with me.
Like we met with PR on Sunday to come up with a plan for when word gets out in love with me. ”
She gasps. “Gasp, gasp, gasp!”
I breathe out a laugh. “Yeah. It’s surreal.
So, now I just have to figure out what the fuck to do.
During the season, he has almost zero time off.
The only reason we were able to even make this work was because he moved in with me when he played for the Jetties’ Triple-A team.
Even then, it was odd hours and me working from home to snag extra minutes. Now…we’re a full day of travel apart.”
“Move here.”
A startled laugh bursts from me. “Um. What?”
“Ask Rosanna if you can transfer to San Fran. You’d still have to split your time between San Fran and Providence, but at least the majority of the time you can be here.”
I stand back up and start pacing. “I have in-person client meetings at least once a month.”
“So, you fly back to Providence once a month. Just schedule them when Jackson’s on the road. You know the MLB schedule for next year is already set, don’t you? You can literally just plan around his schedule.”
I frown at the pavement. “Since when did you become such a huge baseball fan?”
I know she’s shrugging right now. “A certain someone I like to have hate-sex with is a big Berkeley fan.”
Hmm. Casual hook-up, my ass.
But Gen’s made an interesting point. I’m always hopping on video calls with co-workers.
We all work from home at random times, so unless it’s a must-be-in-person meeting, why would it matter if the call is from my couch in Providence or from Jackson’s couch in Berkeley?
My pulse picks up. Could this be the answer?
I can keep my place here for when I’m in Providence and live wherever Jackson gets a place in Cali.
“Gen, I need to go talk to Rosanna.”
“Yes, you do, bitch. Let me know how it goes!”
I barely keep myself from running back to the office.
I stop in the bathroom to quickly splash water over my face because I am literally melting.
God, get me back to that San Francisco weather.
I dry myself off with paper towels and then square my shoulders.
Rosanna is a great boss. I’ve proven my worth here.
I hope that means they’ll be willing to work with me.
I’m halfway to Rosanna’s office before I realize I don’t even know if she’s here today. My eyes land on her tight, dark curls, and my shoulders relax. Obviously, she’s here. I have a meeting with her—and Nick—this afternoon to prepare for our client meeting tomorrow. I’m getting myself frazzled.
Relax, Frankie.
I stop outside her door and knock gently. She smiles at me, her warm brown skin glowing under the fluorescent office lights. She has the most welcoming eyes, a jacobean brown that sparkles with kindness.
This will be okay. This will be okay.
“Hi, Frank. Is it time for our meeting already?”
I shut the door behind me. “Actually, no. I wanted to chat with you about something.”
“Of course. What’s on your mind?” She rolls closer to me in her L-shaped desk and sets her elbows on the desktop.
I take a seat and clasp my hands in my lap. “I want to look into my options for relocating.”
Her brows lift. “Oh.” She sits back and waits for me to elaborate.
“I’d like to relocate to the San Francisco office. I can still come back to Providence to work for certain stretches of time, but I’d like for my main office to be in California.”
Her lips purse and the pinch to her brow has my excitement stalling. “Can I ask why? You don’t have to tell me if it’s personal. But if it’s work-related and there’s an issue here in Providence, I want to know about it.”
“Oh, no! I love it here in Providence. And you know I love working for you. You’ve been an incredible boss to me. But, um, my boyfriend’s work has taken him out to San Francisco. So, I’ll be following him out there.”
And I will be, I realize. Regardless of what Rosanna says.
There are a lot of actuarial opportunities in the city.
Job security is one of the huge perks of being an actuary, and as a senior-level consultant, I have a skill set that makes me a hot commodity.
And if my exam results come back with a pass—which should be coming out in a couple weeks—I’ll be even more sought after.
A heaviness builds in my chest. It’d be heartbreaking, which may seem dramatic, but I really love this job, this company, my co-workers, my clients. But it’s not even a decision if I have to choose between that and Jackson.
Loverboy always. No contest.
“Ah,” Rosanna says with a soft smile. “Well, it’s not straightforward.
Every office has its own staffing and salary budget.
They’ll want you to take on more San Francisco clients, so there needs to be room for someone at your level.
If not, we could potentially see if we can convert you to a permanently remote employee, but the company is trying to avoid that at all costs.
” She grimaces. “They really want people in office.”
I nod. “But it’s a possibility?”
“Yes. And luckily, we have the new head of San Francisco who is in charge of staffing here in Providence today! Let me call Nick in here.” She smiles widely, like I would be oh-so happy to find out Nick got promoted.
I force a smile even as my stomach fills with lead, because as far as anyone knows, we’re chummy coworkers.
She calls Nick and asks him to meet us in her office. He shows up a couple minutes later, and I scoot my chair farther away from his. It might look like I’m trying to make room, but the look Nick gives me lets me know he’s fully aware that wasn’t the reason.
“Thanks for joining us so quickly, Nick,” Rosanna says. She nods my way. “Frank just let me know he’s interested in transferring to the San Francisco office. So, we were wondering what capacity you have.”