Chapter 14
RYDER
Ryder had thought he might have to half drag, half carry Spencer out of the car to get him inside, but the other alpha perked up from his slump as soon as they parked, managing to get inside the apartment on his own two feet.
Ash peeled away to “get the idiot some water,” and Ryder followed a stumbling Spencer to the bedroom.
“Take your pick,” Ryder said, nodding at his and Ash’s beds.
But Spencer shook his head, an uncharacteristically mulish look on his face. “Hate sleeping alone,” he mumbled.
Nobody had said anything about him being the only body in the bed, but Ryder let the assumption lie. He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. “Aren’t you an only child? Think you’d be used to it.”
Spencer frowned down at his feet, swaying slightly in place.
“My mom and I would share, when we couldn’t afford bigger.
Only time she was, like, soft with me. And then every time she found some asshole to date, we’d move in with him and I’d be on the couch or whatever and …
I dunno.” He shook his head as if to clear it.
His slurring might have eased, but he still looked and sounded … tired. “I like a cuddle, I guess.”
Fuck. The amount of heartbreaking shit that had come out of Spencer’s mouth tonight was overwhelming. If Ash and Ryder hadn’t already been determined to keep him before, that would have sealed the deal.
Ryder recognized this moment, this tug of something deeper than simple attraction and affection forming. It had happened with Ash a long time ago, way before they were old enough for it.
Sure, Ash had adopted Ryder the second he’d swooped in and stopped Ryder from getting beat to shit by some bullies in grade school. But the love had come later.
Ryder had been over at the Tellers’ house at the time. Everything had been its usual chaos, kids of every age scattered around, and when they’d had a moment alone, Ryder had asked Ash if he liked having so many siblings.
It had kind of seemed like a dream come true for Ryder, who was used to a too-quiet house with his too-quiet, distant alpha dad, a veteran and widower with too much trauma and not enough interest in his only son.
Ash had shrugged. “I dunno. I’m not good like Noah or Reese. And I’m not bad enough to be noticed. Of course I’m gonna get ignored.”
But the set of his jaw had told a different story, a vulnerability he hadn’t let Ryder see before then.
“Well, you beat up those assholes for me,” Ryder had said. “I’d say you’re bad enough.”
Ash had grinned at him, all sharp and vicious despite his glassy eyes, and Ryder had been gone, just like that. Sometimes broken pieces fit.
And here it was, happening again. It wasn’t like it was some revelation that Spencer Philips might have some mommy issues.
But there was a sweetness to his sorrow that was impossible to resist. For all that he had a loud mouth, and he wanted something from someone all the goddamn time, he really asked for so little.
Ryder looked at the beds again. He and Ash shared a lot of the time, but that was already pushing the limit of their piece-of-shit full-size mattresses. They needed to remedy that, probably, but for now …
Ryder went over to Ash’s bed and tore off the covers, hefting the mattress up and off the frame.
Spence blinked at him. “What’re you …?”
Ryder dropped the mattress on the floor, then went to get his own. He plopped it next to the other and shoved them together. Then he grabbed the two pairs of sheets and blankets and arranged them in something relatively decent.
Ash appeared at the bedroom door with a glass of water and a piece of thoroughly buttered toast. “Rearranging?”
Ryder shrugged. “Pretty boy doesn’t like to sleep alone.”
For once, Ash didn’t prod, despite the fact that Ryder had basically built them a nest on the floor.
Maybe Ash had gotten his fill in the car, or maybe he was as exhausted as Spencer looked.
“He gets the middle, then. I don’t like being overheated.
” Ash shoved the water and toast toward Spencer. “Finish it all. No hurling tomorrow.”
Spencer gave him a bleary, beaming smile. “You guys are so nice.”
Yeah. Broken pieces for sure.
After Spencer had finished Ash’s offerings—swaying in place and refusing to sit down all the while—Ryder steered him to the bathroom.
He handed Spencer a toothbrush still in its package that Ryder and Ash had possibly picked up the last time they’d run errands.
Spencer didn’t comment on it, only opened the package and obediently brushed his teeth alongside Ryder, splashing water on his face when he was done.
Then Spencer tore off his shirt and pants in the middle of the bathroom and stumbled back down the hall in his underwear.
He made it to their floor bed without issue, plopping down right in the middle in a ridiculous sprawl.
Ryder knelt on the bed and tugged the blankets out from underneath Spencer, ignoring his incomprehensible grumbling.
Ryder managed to get the covers over the doofus, then stripped down to his own boxers.
Ash did the same, curling up on the edge of the makeshift bed, facing away from both of them.
No surprise there. Ash tended to run hot, even when he wasn’t perpetually on the edge of heat.
Ryder hesitated for only a moment, then lay down on Spencer’s other side, throwing an arm and a leg over the other alpha, who gave the most ridiculous, happy sigh in return.
Jesus. Someone who fucked so often shouldn’t have been this touch-starved.
Ryder guessed he could relate. It felt good to hold someone without sex on the table, especially someone so warm and sleepy and pliant. Ash was only a cuddler in his best moods, and Ryder had never minded giving him the space he needed, but … still.
Maybe Ryder had never loved sleeping alone either.
Ryder woke up flat on his back, a muscular leg flung over his hips, weighing him down into the mattress. He opened his eyes to take stock of the situation.
Spencer had sunk into the gap between the mattresses during the night, but it didn’t seem to be bothering him much—he was still conked out completely, that one leg over Ryder’s hips and one of his arms distributed over Ash’s middle.
He sure as fuck knew how to hog a bed.
Ash was already awake, although he probably hadn’t been for long, if he was still willing to remain horizontal.
Ryder caught his eye. Ash didn’t say anything at first. He just stared back at Ryder, his usual sharpness … subdued, and not just by the softness of having newly awakened from sleep.
“What’s wrong?” Ryder asked, keeping his voice low.
Maybe Ash was still upset over all the truths Spencer had spilled while drunk the night before, although it wasn’t like him to dwell.
“Nothing,” Ash said, equally quiet. Apparently neither of them wanted to wake the sleeping beauty. “Just … I’ve been taking you for granted, haven’t I?”
Ryder frowned at him. “Have you?” Ryder had never felt that way. Not really. He and Ash had been a part of each other for too long—of course it wasn’t always going to feel new or surprising or whatever.
Ash’s gaze dropped to Spencer’s face, which was covered by his dark hair and barely poking out from the gap in the mattresses. “I’ve never felt like that, you know. That I might drive you away. I’ve never worried about you and me in a tiny cabin.”
“Why the fuck would you?”
Ash met Ryder’s eyes again, his wide mouth twisting into a grin that was uncharacteristically sweet. “I’m just saying. I love you.”
Ryder’s frown deepened. “I know that.”
Ash’s grin shifted into a smirk. “And I know I’m lucky to have you. I’ll always know that. No matter how squirrelly I get sometimes.”
“I don’t mind you squirrelly, bright eyes.”
It was true. Ryder never doubted how Ash felt about him—not the core of it.
But then again, there were disparities in what they needed from each other.
There always had been. Ryder knew he exuded a certain amount of calm on the outside, but he had a possessive nature underneath.
There was a reason he never minded scenting Ash half to death to cover Ash’s lack of designation.
And Ash … Ash liked a certain amount of freedom.
He liked to know he was his own man, even if he usually appeared in a duo.
And he was mercurial when it came to touch, whereas Ryder was unflaggingly tactile by nature.
Maybe Ryder could see Ash’s point. Those differences could get into someone’s head if he wasn’t careful. Maybe it was worth saying things out loud sometimes.
Ryder swallowed hard. “I’m yours,” he said gruffly. “You know that too.”
“Yeah.” Ash nodded solemnly, even as his eyes danced. “I do know that.” He yawned and grabbed Spencer’s wrist, carefully setting the alpha’s arm aside. “I’m gonna get breakfast burritos. He’ll need one.”
Ryder grunted his agreement, letting his eyes fall closed again. He could hear the rustle of Ash getting dressed, the jingle as he stole Spencer’s car keys, and then the hard sound of the front door slamming.
Ash never had been very good at closing it quietly.
Spencer bolted upright, his leg falling away from Ryder as he blinked stupidly, peering around the room. “Wha—?”
“Relax.” Ryder pressed a hand to Spencer’s chest, pushing him back down to the bed. “Ash went to get fuel.”
Spencer turned to face him, blinking some more. He had gnarly bedhead and sleepy, red-rimmed eyes, and somehow he still looked immensely fuckable. Another insight into why no one wanted to let him go the morning after.
“Mm. Sleep okay?”
Ryder smirked at him. Trust Spencer to ask that when he was shoved down on the floor between two mattresses. “I slept fine. You feel sick at all?”
“Nah.” Spencer yawned and scratched at his chest, apparently comfortable in his mattress cocoon. “Hardly ever get hangovers. Kick-ass metabolism.” He paused, then shook his head. “Said some dumb shit, though, huh?”
Ryder turned to his side, propping his cheek on his fist. He didn’t miss the way Spencer’s gaze immediately fell to his flexed bicep. “None of it was dumb.”
Spencer shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time. What’s Ash getting us?”
Ryder let the change of subject slide. For now. “Burritos. Egg, potatoes, chorizo, cheese, lots of salsa on the side.” He and Ash never changed their breakfast burrito orders.
“Mm.” Spencer smacked his lips. “Shouldn’t, but I will.”
“What’s the deal with that? You and food?” Ryder knew enough to know it wasn’t, like, alarmingly strict—he’d seen Spencer make plenty of exceptions to his diet. But Ryder had a need to know where the borders lay, if only to keep an eye on if or when he might need to worry.
“Oh. I dunno. Like, we could never afford the good shit growing up. It was always junk and fast food, and there was never enough. So it’s, like, nice that I get to decide now. Macros and shit and trying to maximize nutrition, not just eating whatever frozen shit’s on sale.”
“And the fact that you’re ripped as hell?”
“A bonus.” Spencer grinned, trailing a hand down his chest. “I was always scrawny as shit growing up. Now I have something to offer.”
Ryder frowned at him. “You know it’s normal for alphas to be smaller when they’re young, right? Our metabolisms working too fast or something. And you could gain or lose however much, you’d still be sexy. A burrito here and there isn’t going to fuck with that.”
It was probably the most Ryder had ever said in one go to Spencer, but Spencer, little asshole that he was, only batted his lashes. “You think I’m sexy, big guy?”
Ryder knew he was supposed to laugh or tease back. He didn’t. “Been thinking about fucking you. A lot.”
Ryder didn’t exactly share Ash’s conviction that fucking Spencer over and over was going to magically make him theirs, but it wasn’t really about that right now.
The idea of fucking Spencer stupid had turned into a craving, and last night had only sharpened the hunger.
Charming, flirty Spencer had been sad and sweet and vulnerable, and Ryder had wanted to drink it up.
Drink him up. Spear Spencer on his cock and see how much alpha dick he could really take.
Spencer stilled, one hand resting on his flat stomach. “You keep teasing me with that, you know.”
“No tease. We could do it today.” Ryder shifted, his cock jerking as his blood heated at the thought. “Right now even. Except …”
Spencer narrowed his eyes, like Ryder was dangling a treat in front of him and jerking it away. “Except what?”
“Well, I’ve got a big dick. You said it’s been a while.” Ryder didn’t blink as he laid out his trump card. “Maybe Ash should warm you up for me.”
Spencer’s jaw didn’t exactly drop, but it was a close thing. He licked his lips, tongue piercing flashing. He cleared his throat. He finally let out a soft, reverent, “Fuck.”
Ryder grinned. “Should I take that as a yes?”