Chapter 22
RYDER
Ryder pulled out from under the Subaru he was working on to find Damon waiting for him, tattooed arms crossed and bulging.
“What’s the scowl for?” Ryder asked.
“Why’s the hellion so pissed?” Damon countered. “Is this a new omega thing? I tried to get a puzzle from him, and he fucking snarled at me.”
Ryder glanced toward the garage’s office. The shades were pulled down, so he couldn’t see inside, but he could imagine well enough Ash’s angry pacing and pissy face. “Boyfriend troubles.”
Damon cocked a brow. “Aren’t you the boyfriend?”
Ryder stood up and stretched his back before answering, “One of them.” When Damon didn’t say anything to that, Ryder cocked his own brow back at him. “Problem?”
Damon smirked, holding his hands up in an imitation of surrender. “No problem. Not my personal style—too possessive for that—but you do you.”
Ryder nodded. Not that he needed anyone’s permission, boss or no. “You mind if I take my fifteen?”
“Go for it.”
Ryder headed to the office. He stood at the door for a moment, noting the bitter char of burned marshmallow that seeped through the cracks, no caramel sweetness to be found.
Ash had been a mess since yesterday, when Spencer had failed to come back or answer their calls.
They knew he was safe—Noah had texted last night to let them know Spencer was back with him and Chase—but he wasn’t reaching out.
Ash kept threatening to storm Spencer’s house and force a confrontation, but Ryder was holding him off.
It wasn’t that Ryder wasn’t aching to see Spencer—aching to see him, hold him, and get things fucking settled—but he needed Spencer to be ready.
No amount of love or reassurance was going to be enough if Spencer kept batting it all away, refusing to acknowledge its existence.
Ryder knew he and Ash had maybe been too subtle, but they hadn’t been that subtle.
None of that stopped Ryder from texting a few more times, his last one a terse,
We know you’re safe. Come when you’re ready.
But that was neither here nor fucking there. If Spencer needed the comfort of his roommates before seeing Ryder and Ash, they owed that to him.
Ryder entered the office. He’d been wrong. Ash wasn’t angrily pacing anymore. He was sitting in Damon’s office chair, slumped and dejected.
Ryder shut the door behind him, but Ash didn’t glance his way, too busy making woeful faces at his own hands. “I fucked everything up,” he mumbled woodenly.
“You didn’t. It’s a hiccup. Or maybe a growing pain.”
They were silent for a moment, and then Ash met Ryder’s gaze, his amber eyes red-rimmed and glassy. “Why aren’t you pissed at me?”
Ryder supposed he could be. Ash wasn’t the only one who wanted Spencer with them, and Ash’s “no talking, full secrecy” method had probably delayed things a lot longer than a direct approach, all Spencer’s caginess aside.
But Ryder remembered what it had been like to present as an alpha.
His presentation had been shorter and more predictable than Ash’s, but it hadn’t felt any less alarming at the time.
One moment Ryder had been sitting with his best friend in the whole world, content to play video games in separate chairs, and in the next he’d had the overwhelming urge to pick Ash up and bite him all over.
Maul him with his teeth and mark him for eternity.
Freaked out over the sudden violence of his thoughts, Ryder had fled.
He’d gone home in a rush, out of his mind with worry and shame, and his first rut had started soon after.
Ryder had been fine in the end, his rut eased by the meds his dad had gotten for him already.
And when he’d come out of it, he’d felt more like himself, if maybe a bit more inclined to want to nibble on Ash’s neck.
But that transition part—the part that was so prolonged in Ash’s case—wasn’t made for clear thinking.
Ryder knelt in front of Ash’s chair, putting them closer to eye level. “Ash, it’s only been a day. You really want me to be pissed at you?”
Ash dropped his head onto Ryder’s shoulder. “Maybe,” he mumbled. “It might feel easier.” He let out a sigh. “His face when he left … I want to tell him I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“Do you think it’s too much, wanting both of you? Maybe it’s just selfish greed.”
Ryder thought before speaking. “I think you need more than you were told to expect from all this … love and romance and these bullshit alpha-omega dynamics. I think Spencer needs more love than he thinks he deserves. And I think I need to care for you both. I need it. Not just you.” He stroked a hand through Ash’s curls. “We can all be greedy together.”
“It sounds pretty decent when you say it like that.” There was another long silence, Ash’s breath warm and steady against Ryder’s neck. “You think we can be good enough?” Ash asked eventually.
“For what?”
“All that love.”
Ryder rubbed a hand over Ash’s back. “Yeah, I do. It just takes practice, maybe. Time.”
Outside the office, Damon greeted someone, maybe a new customer. But it was a familiar voice that replied to him. Ryder pulled back to listen, and Ash stiffened at the same time.
Yeah, that was a very familiar voice.
Ash went pale as he met Ryder’s eyes. “Did he text you?”
“No.” Ryder cocked his head, trying to make out what was being said. There weren’t any raised voices or anything. Somehow, that didn’t have Ash looking any less panicked.
Ryder got to his feet. “You want me to go out first?”
“Could you?” Ash asked, sounding as relieved as he might have if Ryder had just offered to take a bullet for him.
“Yeah, bright eyes. But when he does come in …”
Ash nodded. “Words. All the words.”
Ryder nodded back, just as solemn. “All the words.”
It was Spencer talking to Damon. He was standing to the side of the service bay, gesticulating wildly while Damon gave his best bouncer impression.
The expression on Spencer’s face when he clocked Ryder was hard to read: hope, maybe, mixed with a small dash of fear.
His dark hair was damp, the ends falling in front of his eyes in a way that was less deliberate than usual, like he hadn’t waited to style it after his shower before coming to find them.
After a moment, Spencer waved sheepishly at Ryder. “Noah said you might be here,” he called over the noise of the garage.
Ryder walked up and ignored Damon completely in favor of sweeping Spencer into a tight hug. He smelled like soap and spices and hints of Noah’s beachy pheromones, like he’d been comforted by his roommates all night, enough so that a shower hadn’t washed it off completely.
Spencer stood completely still for a moment, and then he hugged Ryder back with all the force of his pretty muscles, tucking his head into Ryder’s neck and breathing him in. It was remarkably similar to the way Ash had just been resting against him a minute ago.
“You give really good hugs,” Spencer said softly, the words spoken into Ryder’s skin. “Why haven’t I been getting more of them?”
“You can have as many as you want,” Ryder told him fiercely.
There was an unsubtle cough as Damon excused himself, which they both ignored. Spencer broke the hug after a long moment, and his gaze homed in on the office. “Ash is in there?”
“Yeah. You can scent him?”
Spencer nodded, his brow furrowing. “He smells distressed. Is he okay?”
Trust Spencer to run off devastated and still worry over whether Ash was all right. His heart was too soft, and it clearly needed better protection than it had been getting. But they could fix that. With Ash’s fierce bite and Ryder’s calm strength, nothing was going to get through to hurt it again.
“He’s fine,” Ryder soothed gruffly. “Just worried about you.”
Spencer’s frown only deepened. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Ryder threaded his fingers through Spencer’s damp hair and tugged gently, meeting his deep-blue eyes. “Just tell us where you are next time.”
Spencer licked his lips, something uncertain in his gaze. “Because we’re … friends?”
Ryder tugged harder. “Try again.”
“Fuck buddies?”
“Spencer …”
Spencer grinned, and there was that hope in his eyes again, plus a fair bit of flirty mischief that had Ryder wanting to gnaw at him.
Instead, Ryder grabbed his hand. There were too many noises here, too many people coming in and out.
Ryder pulled Spencer out the garage door and over to the side of the building, where there was a concrete square with folding chairs that the guys used to take their breaks when they were sick of being stuck indoors.
Ryder ignored the chairs and pushed Spencer gently against the wall, leaving his hand splayed on Spencer’s chest. “Ash has things he wants to say to you, but I want to say my piece too.”
Spencer swallowed hard without breaking eye contact. “Okay.”
“We want you. We want to be with you.” Ryder cleared his throat, then made himself say the last part. “We were trying to … woo you.”
Spencer’s brows rose to his hairline. “You were wooing me?”
“Maybe we weren’t doing a very good job of it,” Ryder conceded. “The heats kind of fucked with things.”
“I mean”—Spencer’s cheeks flushed pink—“I remember there were some very good bits.”
Ryder added pressure to his hold. It felt unbelievably satisfying, after not hearing from Spencer where or how he was for more than twenty-four hours, to pin him in place like this. “It’s not just sex. And it’s not casual. It’s for keeps.”
Spencer’s eyes widened. “Um, that’s kind of a dangerous thing to say to me, you know. I tend to latch on.”
Ryder had sometimes wondered if that was the real reason Spencer didn’t date. If it had less to do with him wanting to sample the student population and more to do with his inability to actually maintain anything casual when his feelings got the least bit involved.
If so, that was everyone else’s loss, his and Ash’s gain.
Ryder’s hand was splayed high enough that he could stroke his thumb over the bare skin peeking out above Spencer’s neckline. “Good. You want to know why I’m here? At school?”
“Because you love boring books?”
“A little. But I’m probably gonna stay a mechanic, barring something else sparking my interest. I want to move over to diesel, work on big trucks, make a decent living.
But I got a full scholarship because my dad’s a vet, and I signed up to go wherever Ash went.
I’m here because he’s here. And now because you’re here.
” Ryder leaned in close, pressing his forehead to Spencer’s, breathing in his spiced-tea scent.
“So latch on all you want. You’re not the only one who clings. ”
A short huff of breath, and then Spencer pressed their mouths together in a sudden kiss.
It was sweet and a little hungry, all soft lips and a searching tongue that tasted like minty toothpaste.
Ryder cupped Spencer’s face and tilted him the way he wanted, deepening the kiss.
He ran his thumbs under Spencer’s ears, scent marking him while he took what Spencer gave him.
By the time they broke off, Spencer was rocking his hips against Ryder’s, his soft lips now swollen and his pretty eyes dazed. “You ever fuck someone against this wall?”
Ryder shook his head and pointed up. “Security camera.” Not to mention the garage full of coworkers just around the corner.
“Oh.” Spencer pouted in the camera’s direction. “Bummer.”
Ryder pressed a quick kiss to those pouty lips. “Yeah, bummer. And there’s still a conversation for you to have, if you’re up for it.”
Spencer twisted his hands into the fabric of Ryder’s T-shirt, his knuckles grazing against Ryder’s stomach in a way that made him shudder. “He doesn’t hate me for texting Noah?”
“I think he hates himself a little for pushing you to the breaking point.”
“I didn’t break.” At Ryder’s knowing look, Spencer’s gaze darted to the side. “Or maybe a little.” He bit at his lower lip. “Maybe I needed a little breaking.”
“You are acting surprisingly un-cagey. I thought we might have to pin you down and make you listen.”
Spencer gave an exaggerated shiver. “Don’t say stuff like that with the cameras here. Damn.” He casually adjusted his dick and pushed at Ryder’s chest. “Okay, I’m ready.”
Ryder did his own adjusting before he led Spencer back inside and pushed him toward the office, watching him closely until Spencer had shut the door behind him.
Damon sidled up a moment later. “My office better not smell like sex when I walk in there later.”
Ryder flipped him off. “They’re just talking. Working through their hang-ups.”
“And what—you don’t have any hang-ups to work through?”
“Not really.”
Damon scoffed. “Why is that? You grew up fucking poor and miserable like the rest of us, didn’t you?”
It was true enough, at least at the start of things.
Ryder shrugged. “I also found my person young, and he never, ever left. And now I get another, and I wasn’t even looking for it.
So I think I’m pretty fucking lucky all around.
” Ryder turned on his heel and went back to the car he’d been working on.
“They can take their time to figure it out,” he said to himself, not caring if Damon could hear him. “I have everything I need.”