Chapter 12
Twelve
Teddy
Liam: Ma wants us to come over for dinner tonight. Come straight home. We need to grab some groceries for her.
I stare at my phone in disbelief. No. There’s no way I’m going to go see Ms. Janet after her son fucked me into oblivion last night. She’ll know, and as soon as she catches on, she’ll have a heart attack or something equally catastrophic.
She doesn’t know that I’m gay and I planned to avoid it for as long as I could. But coming out and admitting that her son and I have… sexual relationship, is definitely not going to work. What was he thinking agreeing to that?
The more I think about it, the simpler the answer gets.
Me: I don’t think that’s a good idea. Gonna have to pass on that. Maybe another time?
I send the message out of view of the cameras here at work. There’s a strict ‘no phone policy’ at this gas station.
Liam’s not going to like my answer, but so be it.
I don’t know where he and I stand right now since he’d already left for work by the time I got up this morning.
For all I know, he regrets everything and never wants to see my face again.
He was definitely into it last night, though. The thought sets my blood on fire.
Damn. I never expected him to be so dirty. I mean, he was all in. I could’ve just sucked his dick and been happy for the rest of my life, but no. He wanted to have full-on sex the first time he ever hooks up with a guy. It makes no sense, but I can’t complain.
All day, I’ve been driving myself crazy. Considering all the possibilities this day may hold. The poor skin around my fingernails is ripped to shreds and my cheeks are raw from chewing on them. Anxious is an understatement.
Just because he fucked me and even seemed to enjoy it, doesn’t mean we’re going to run off and get married tomorrow. He’s probably not ready be out in the open with this whole thing. Or maybe he’d rather ignore it forever and try to stay friends with me.
If that’s the case, then that’ll be it for us. For good. Because now that I’ve tasted and felt him, I can’t go back to before. Even thinking about it feels like daggers through my heart.
I restock everything in the store and clean every spout on the soda fountain, even though those are the night crew’s duties. I need something to occupy my mind because the silence on Liam’s end is killing me. He hasn’t texted back or called.
It’s nearing five o’clock—the end of my shift, when Damon and Liam pull into the parking lot.
I know for a fact that it’s them because of the heavy metal music playing so loudly the huge windows of my store are vibrating from the bass.
I roll my eyes to myself, but when I see Liam step out of the car looking sexy as ever, with his dreads in a ponytail and his shirt off, my heart skips a beat.
This is the first time we’ll be face to face since last night. The doorbell jingles as he walks in without bothering to put his shirt on.
“No shoes, no shirt, no service,” I yell, pointing to the sign on the door.
The smile on my face spreads as he ignores me and continues into the store, heading toward the beer.
After grabbing two forty ounces, he swaggers toward me and sets them on the counter with a heavy thud. “I need cigarettes too, angel.”
The term sends a jolt through my body. Angel? I narrow my eyes at him in confusion but turn around and grab his cigarettes. Marlboro black menthols.
I start scanning his items. “Angel?” I ask. I double bag his beer and leave the cigarettes out. He starts slamming the bottom of the pack against the palm of his hand to pack them tighter.
He hums. “You look like a golden angel when you’re being fucked.” He lets his gaze roam all over me. “Actually, you always look like that.”
I gasp in disbelief, mouth hanging open.
He really said that at my job! Before I get a chance to say anything, he flicks my nose, grabs the beer, and the jingle sounds again as he steps out.
I watch as he unwraps the cellophane and pulls a cigarette from the fresh pack.
When he gets into the car, he rolls the window down and lights the cigarette.
And they just sit there. Fuck. He’s going to give me a ride home, probably to coerce me into going to his mom’s. I bring my fingers up to my nose, rubbing where he just flicked it.
Only a couple more customers come in before the night shift girl comes in to take my place. I count down my drawer and tell her about all the shit I manically cleaned so she doesn’t have to. Then I grab my skateboard and head out.
When I slide into the backseat of the car, Liam hands me a cigarette. “You can just take me home with you, Damon. I need to see Ben.”
He shrugs and says, “Alright.”
At the same time, Liam says, “No.”
They both look at each other accusingly.
I roll my eyes. “I’m not going to see Ms. Janet today and you know why, so just leave it.”
After a few moments of silence and him twisting a dreadlock in his fingers incessantly, he finally speaks up again, “So, you’re just going to hang out with Ben tonight?”
“Most likely, yeah. That’s the plan. Unless you had something else in mind? It is Friday.”
When he doesn’t say anything else, Damon turns the song up—"Into the Dark” by Point North and Kellin Quinn, and damn, it sounds so good in his car.
We pull into the parking lot as the song’s ending. Liam’s already out and unlocking the door to our room without another word.
Fuck. I start chewing at my lower lip anxiously as I get out and slide into the front seat. Damon shakes his head at me as he reverses out. “Should’ve just went with him,” he says.
“No. You don’t know his mom. The sight of me as a full-blown homosexual might send her to an early grave. Not to mention—” I clamp my mouth shut before I say something stupid.
“Oh, do tell. He already told me anyways.” He chuckles, wearing that big, bright smile that captivated Ben in the first place.
I shove his shoulder. “I can’t believe he told you!” I exclaim.
“Of course he did. We’re besties.”
I laugh loudly. “Really? Since when?”
He scratches his head in mock thought. God, he’s such a smart ass.
“Well, if you know, then you can put two and two together as to why I will not be attending family dinner tonight. Just like I haven’t in months.”
“I guess I get that, but you fools are going to need to figure it out eventually.”
I focus my gaze out the window, looking at the same scenery I’ve seen my whole life—the tall palm trees, the overgrown grass, crumbling sidewalks.
Poverty everywhere. The other side of big city life; the side people tend to ignore.
It’s the only thing I know, though, and it reminds me of my mom and the squalor she lives in.
Maybe I should check on her, it’s been so long.
I know it’ll fuck with me, but a small voice in the back of my head tells me it’s the right thing to do.
I shake my head to myself as we park in front of Damon’s apartment. Maybe some other time.
We both get out of the car, and I remember to grab my board to take it with me. Damon grabs a bag of tools from the trunk of his car and leads the way. “I really need to get a truck,” he thinks out loud.
He unlocks the door and the smell of weed smacks me in the face. “Honey, I’m home,” he bellows as if Ben wasn’t sitting right there on the couch.
“Hey baby, how’s your ass feeling?” Ben asks him without looking up from his laptop.
I try to hold in the laugh, I really do, but it explodes from me. Ben looks up in surprise, gaping at me.
“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. I think you should be asking Teddy that same question.” Damon smiles knowingly and goes straight for the bathroom, leaving us both stunned.
I plop down on the couch next to him and wince only slightly.
“So, how’s your ass feeling, Teddy?” Ben says curiously, a big smile plastered on his face. I don’t think he ever smiled like that before Damon came around.
“Wrecked, thanks to Liam.”
“No fucking way!” he shouts so loud that I hear Damon cackling from the bathroom.
I sigh dramatically and let my head fall back. “At the party on Thursday, we got into a fight, and I told him I was in love with him. Told him everything.”
“And I’m assuming he didn’t take it well, which is why you disappeared for days. So, how the hell did that lead to sex?” I swear his eyes are going to leap from his sockets any minute now. I tell him the whole thing, from start to finish. All the dirty details, and you know what this fucker says?
“He kissed your asshole?!”
“I can’t make this shit up,” I respond and take a hit from the tall bong he has on coffee table.
He looks more distressed than I feel at this point with his head laying back against the couch and his hands rubbing at the sides of his face. I hand him the bong, and he hits it, still completely lost in thought.
He exhales a giant cloud of smoke and looks at me, glassy eyes full of concern. “What does this mean?”
I shrug. “I honestly don’t know. I thought we’d talk about it today, but his mom’s doing dinner tonight and I ditched—for obvious reasons.
” Ben has had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Janet, so he knows all about her God-fearing lifestyle.
The only thing I’ve never been able to relate to when it came to her.
My childhood was religion-free, and I feel completely indifferent toward it.
Except for the people who take it way too seriously—turning a good thing into a bad thing, and that’s sort of how she is.
“Fuck, dude. Well, y’all need to find a chance to talk about this, sooner rather than later. Liam’s unpredictable as fuck. I swear I never know what’s going through his head. I definitely didn’t see this coming.”
His statement gives me pause, because he’s right. I—never in a million years—saw last night going the way it did, and I know him better than anyone. I get goosebumps, and the hair on my arms stand up.
Anything could happen now. It’s up in the air.
I look Ben in the eyes and say, “I think it’s time for me to get drunk.”
He nods his head slowly. “Be careful.” And I feel the weight of those words in my chest as I pick up my board and head out the door.