10. AUTUMN
CHAPTER TEN
AUTUMN
AUTUMN: What’s your deal with Davie?
brIGGS: Are you guys talking about me again? I thought this was supposed to be a fun girls’ night.
AUTUMN: It is. We’ve got the sangria and movie ready to go. That doesn’t mean we’re not going to gossip about what’s going on in our lives, so stop avoiding the question.
brIGGS: Did Davie or you bring this up as ‘part of your lives’?
AUTUMN: Briggs…
brIGGS: Autumn… Leave it. It’s not texting conversation.
AUTUMN: Considering how we talk more through messages than in person because of our ‘arrangement’, I think text makes perfect sense.
brIGGS: Why are you pushing this?
AUTUMN: Why are you deflecting? It’s not healthy to bottle this kind of stuff up.
brIGGS: I’m not… You know what? Fuck it.
*INCOMING CALL FROM brIGGS*
“Oh, shit, he’s calling me.”
Davie glances over from her place sprawled across the opposite side of the sofa. “What did you expect? I told you not to bother him about this. We’re working through it. Things are better between him and Cormac.”
“But not great,” I point out.
She shrugs. “He’s got some trauma or something to overcome. We can’t force him to rush the healing process.”
“I’m not forcing him to do anything. He’s the one who decided to call me.”
“After you started badgering him.”
Chewing the inside of my cheek, I ignore her sharp frown and swipe to answer Briggs’s call. “Hey…” I step out onto the wraparound porch of Davie’s house for privacy. The stars are bright tonight as a warm summer breeze ruffles my hair.
Briggs jumps right in. “You want to know what my deal is? I’ve been fucked over by too many women who pretended to care about me. My mom, my ex, even my social worker, at times.”
“So, you paint Davie with the same brush? Do you think she’s going to betray you or Cormac?”
“If she hurts Cormac, that will affect me, too. He’s my best friend,” he retorts.
There’s the slam of a door in the background, and I wonder if he just got home from the salvage yard.
“And don’t act like you don’t understand what I’m talking about.
You’ve got your own hang-ups with men like your dad and ex-husband.
Why do you think you agreed to fuck me? To give a big ‘fuck you’ to them. ”
“It’s more than that, and you know it.”
“Right. It’s about freedom.” I can hear the sneer in his voice. “Freedom to slum it with a guy they wouldn’t deem fit to polish their fancy shoes. Just like—”
He stops abruptly, and my anger pushes him to finish.
“Just like who? Might as well say it, since you’re getting everything off your chest.”
“Just like Ashley. My ex loved that I was so far beneath her. Like she was doing me a favor by letting me into her orbit.”
“Then, it sounds like she’s just like, what did you call Jason? Oh yeah, an idiot. Because there is nothing wrong with you, Briggs, except for your shitty attitude.”
Just like that my fury dissolves into empathy. God, he’s so guarded and mistrustful. Thinks so lowly of himself no matter how hard he tries to hide it behind that grumpy facade.
I hate it, and I hate this Ashley woman who contributed to him feeling this way.
“My shitty attitude is the only defense I have,” he argues. “This whole town treats me like garbage and whispers about me. I’m not going to be the beaten down puppy who tries to make nice, only to get kicked all over again.”
“Briggs…” I say softly, bracing against the porch railing. High Ridge is surrounded by beautiful forests and mountains, but he’s right about the people. Not everyone is as kind as small town movies would have you believe, especially not when it comes to him.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. That’s not what I want. I’m just telling you what you wanted to hear. Now, you can go tell Davie what my problem is.”
“I’m not going to tell Davie.” This is too intimate to share. Honestly, I’m not even sure Cormac understands how deep the scars go in his friend. “I don’t feel sorry for you, but I do… care about you.”
“You care about my dick.” The deflection is textbook Briggs. Any time he’s complimented or shown a modicum of kindness, he redirects the conversation. Snarls and bites at the person to push them away.
But it’s not going to work this time because I’m starting to understand this man. Beginning to distinguish between the bad boy mask and the hurting man it hides.
“No, I care about you,” I reiterate. My nail picks at a splinter of wood on the railing as a disbelieving sigh travels over the line.
“Seriously. This may be casual between us, but our friends are married. We’re going to be in each other’s lives for a long time, which means we might as well be friends, too. ”
Silence reigns for a moment. The both of us quietly contemplate my proposal for a slightly altered arrangement.
“You should get back to Davie. She’s probably wondering what happened to you.”
So, we’re ignoring what I said. Unfortunate, but not surprising.
“Yeah, I should,” I say, rocking back on my heels. A cloud hovers over the moon and casts more shadows over the ranch. Darkness that matches the resignation in my tone. “Talk to you later?”
Briggs makes a sound of agreement before hanging up.
Stuffing the phone in my pocket, I stare up at the glittering sky. “What are you doing, Autumn?”