Chapter Twenty
“Benet isnae David’s son.”
Annys stared at Nigel. She could see no anger in him but her heart pounded with fear. If he thought she had betrayed David or was trying to falsely sit her child in the laird’s seat, Annys was certain he would be furious. Yet he just studied her and Harcourt as if he was looking for something.
She carefully sat in the chair facing the table he sat behind. Harcourt sat next to her and she could feel the tension in him. Then she decided to just tell the truth. David would have told Nigel himself if he had been able to. Annys was certain of that. So, she could do no less.
“David claimed Benet as his son before all,” she said. “The Church and the court consider him David’s son because of that claim and the fact that he was born while David and I were husband and wife. Everyone here at Glencullaich accepts him as David’s son.”
“But he isnae.”
“Nay, not by blood. David could nay sire his own child but ye kenned that.”
Nigel looked at Harcourt. “How did my brother get ye to agree to give him a child? Your child?”
“I owed David my life,” Harcourt replied.
“He also told me what would be the fate of the people here if he didnae have one, people who had been naught but good to me. And, I dinnae think I tell ye anything ye havenae already guessed when I say I found it easy enough because I already coveted his wife.” He almost smiled at the deep blush that covered Annys’s soft cheeks.
“But then ye left both behind, the wife and the bairn.”
“I did. T’was what was agreed to. A mon’s honor demands he keeps a promise made. And that is what I told myself, repeatedly, for five long years. That, and that it was the right thing to do, the best thing to do, for all concerned.”
Nigel sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
“David could be both cunning and convincing, nay doubt about it. And, aye, an heir might have settled things if he had been dealing with a mon who wasnae half insane with greed and envy. And one who kenned full weel that David couldnae sire a child. It didnae work and, in the end, my brother still lost his life. I suspicion he didnae realize that it was Adam who had been the cause of his maiming for David wasnae a fool and would have kenned that his plan would ne’er work then. ”
Annys shook her head. “I think David suspected but then he couldnae recall if he had bedded that woman or nay. At times, I wondered if he thought it had been some punishment for his sins as he saw them.”
“My parents’ teachings,” Nigel said, his tone making it very clear he disdained such teachings, “but mayhap David found an odd sense of peace in thinking that.” He tapped a finger against a small ledger on the table in front of him.
“It appears he also tried to bribe Adam and the other MacQueens to leave Glencullaich alone.”
“Oh, ye found it!” Annys glanced at Harcourt. “I forgot that Biddy had stolen it that day I followed her to her meeting with Clyde.” She looked at Nigel. “’Tis where David noted what little we could discover about you and a precise accounting of all he gave to the MacQueens.”
“It will be useful in ending their aspirations,” said Nigel.
“David preferred to use bribery. I prefer to use threats. They let Adam do all the work but supplied coin and men to help him. Adam also had a wee ledger in which he noted who gave him what help and how much. I suspicion it was so he would ken how to divide up his gains when he won Glencullaich.”
“Ye actually mean to confront them over all of this?”
“Only if they push me to do so. And that brings us back to the matter of David’s heir.”
Annys inwardly sighed. “Ye wish to keep him as your heir, too?”
Nigel nodded. “Until I have my own. I dinnae e’en have a choice of a bride yet so not even the promise of an heir.
I did think to just step into David’s place, fulfill the original betrothal agreement.
A Church dispensation would settle any questions about its legality.
” He grinned at Harcourt who had growled softly.
“Dinnae think that would be appreciated by one and all though.”
“Nay,” said Harcourt. “Have lived through that for five years. Dinnae feel inclined to do so again.”
“Didnae think so.” Nigel looked at Annys.
“And I would prefer that any wife I take be one who hasnae already given her heart away to another.” He nodded when she blushed.
“So, here is what I have decided. For now I will keep Benet as my heir. To do anything else will mark him and ye, Annys, with a stain that isnae easily washed away. Benet doesnae need to live with me but he must remain David’s child and my heir.
There needs to be an unwavering acceptance of that by all concerned. ”
“Aye, there does.” Harcourt could not hide all the disappointment he felt over still being unable to claim his child but he understood why he could not.
“When I have a son or, even better, when I have two, then it can change, at least amongst ourselves and those closest to us. Since Benet was born and bred whilst Annys was legally wed to him, and David openly claimed Benet as his son, by all the laws I can think of, Benet is the heir. This secrecy just saves us all a great deal of trouble and ugly talk. So, aye, Benet remains my heir to all who might speak of it outside of the family.”
“But he doesnae have to stay here,” said Harcourt.
“Nay, but he does need to stay with a mon who can train him to be a warrior and a laird.”
“I think I can do that.”
“As do I or I would ne’er let the child go. So, the goodly priest Kerr found for me is waiting in the great hall and—”
“Wait!” ordered Annys, jumping to her feet. “Am I hearing this correctly? Have the two of ye just decided my entire future for me? Without e’en asking one wee question before ye did?”
It pleased her to see the wary looks both men gave her.
As she had listened to Nigel and realized that all that kept her and Harcourt from planning a future together was being pushed aside, her heart had filled with a joyous burst of hope.
Then they had continued speaking, neatly sorting out what would happen next without once asking her opinion.
Twice she had had a husband chosen for her.
She had dutifully accepted Nigel as a future husband because her parents had chosen him.
When that did not come about, she had accepted David, again with her parents’ approval and because it was the best thing to do for all concerned.
This time she would be properly asked and she would be offered more than a man who had no true feeling for her but would be a good husband.
Even as she prepared a speech to make that very clear to these two men, Harcourt leapt up, grabbed her by the arm, and dragged her over to the far corner of the room.
She caught sight of a grinning Nigel putting his feet up on the table, picking up the small ledger Biddy had stolen, and beginning to look through it.
Then she looked at Harcourt and struggled not to be swayed in her determination by how much she wanted him.
“This solves all of our problems, Annys. It sweeps away the verra thing that meant we couldnae be together, would have to part all over again,” he said.
She sighed. He was right. It almost made her smile to realize how much she wanted to kick him for that.
They had both wrestled with the barriers keeping them apart and been repeatedly defeated by the tight restraints of duty.
Now Nigel offered them an answer, yanking away the barrier her duty to David and Glencullaich had erected. It was rather foolish to balk now.
Yet, she wanted more now that she could actually choose.
She wanted more than passion. She wanted love.
It was rare in marriage but she was almost certain it was just within her reach.
What she was not certain of was how to let Harcourt know without bluntly asking for what she needed, something that would expose her own weaknesses.
Annys shied away from such boldness and was terrified of baring her heart to a man who had never actually said he loved her.
“No one asked me,” she said, inwardly cursing her cowardice.
“Ah, nay, we didnae, did we.” Keeping his back to Nigel, Harcourt pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. “Then I shall ask. Wed with me, Annys. Come home with me to Gormfeurach so we can begin the life I believe we have both wanted for five long years.”
It was so tempting. The fact that he claimed to have wanted it for five years, just as she had, warmed her heart.
It was not the words of love she needed or craved, but she wanted to believe that they held the promise of it.
He had already told her once that she was his woman.
Most women would think that more than enough.
Perhaps she was being greedy, impractical, she thought.
“So? I have asked. Wed with me, Annys. Let us seal the bonds between us, ones formed all those years ago in our river bower. Seal them now so that no one can sunder us again.”
“Aye,” she heard herself say and silently cursed her own weakness.
Harcourt kissed her. He could sense a lingering uncertainty inside her but would deal with that later.
Now he had the chance to tie her to him and he had no intention of letting that chance slip through his fingers.
The sound of Nigel clearing his throat broke into his thoughts and Harcourt ended the kiss.
He took Annys by the hand and went back to where Nigel sat.
“Then let us be about it,” Harcourt said.