Chapter Eighteen
I WAS SHAKEN to my bones. My face was wet with tears, and I felt sticky and hot with drying blood and the residual sweat of my terror.
I would not be expected; this would work in my favor.
If I could keep myself hidden, I might be able to find him, and help him.
It occurred to me that I would have to go back up to the turret—even though I was more than halfway down the stairs—to get my knife.
But then I looked at my bloodied hand and saw that it was there, still held in my white-knuckled grip.
This relieved me to the depths of my soul.
To retrace my steps and once again lay eyes on Aleck’s corpse was more than I could have handled.
I would have done it, but I was glad I didn’t have to.
Our private chambers were empty now. The door was still open.
The silk strands I had used to bind Kade’s wrists lay shredded on the floor like shiny, forlorn reminders.
Was he still alive? Aye, I knew he would be.
It had cost me dearly, but they’d recognized the value of him for the cause of their rebellion.
He would be highly useful. The state of him didn’t matter to them, as long as he lived.
He’d be badly beaten, chained, tortured within an inch of his life. All of it, every degree of his pain, was my fault, but I couldn’t berate myself on that count. If I hadn’t done what I done, he’d most certainly be as dead as Aleck.
Kade’s weapons still lay where he’d left them.
I picked up one of his weapons belts—the one with his sword and his bone-handled knife, his two favorite weapons, if the time he spent sharpening them was any indication.
It was far too big to strap around my waist, so I slung it across my chest. These weapons were exceptionally heavy, and I doubted I could even have wielded the massive sword.
But I didn’t intend to use them myself. He would need them, as we made our escape from whoever guarded him.
A small stab of dread shot through me as I wondered: would he even believe me enough to allow me to help him?
Would he ever trust me again? Would he be so disgusted by me that he’d leave me behind? Or worse, would he kill me?
I made my way down the corridor toward the kitchens. But I was wary. I couldn’t be seen. And I had no idea where the dungeons were actually located. All I knew was that they were rarely used and highly guarded. I’d heard it said that they were in underground tunnels, but I didn’t know for sure.
But then, aye, I remembered. There was one person I could trust who knew exactly where the dungeons were. He’d made the thick chains and installed them in the prison chambers. The very same chains that probably bound my husband’s wrists at this very moment.
I had to find Caleb.
* * *
MY FIRST STOP was the healers’ quarters.
Before I entered, I remembered to draw closed the gaping sides of my ripped, bloodied gown.
When I pushed the door open, the room was empty.
Bubbling pots had been abandoned and several were spilling over.
In my distress, I’d almost forgotten that our keep had been invaded by a small but hostile army.
The healers had fled, maybe under threat.
There were signs that a struggle had taken place: spilled concoctions and broken glass.
Without lingering, I went to the shelf where the blue vial of Fee’s drug remained untouched.
It was more than half-full. The bottle of whiskey was gone.
I grabbed the vial and continued on my way.
I followed a hidden back passage to the kitchens, which, I could hear as I neared them, were bustling with activity.
The conversation was not hushed as it had been over past years, or boisterous and industrious, as it had been in recent weeks.
It was alarmed, hurried and agitated. And there were calls from the hall that I could hear through the wall: men, demanding food and drink, clanging their cups and their plates.
Campbell’s army’s ranks, I guessed, wanting their every appetite satisfied.
I prayed silently for my sisters’ safety at the same time I peered around the corner into the crowded kitchens.
It was then that I saw Ann.
She gasped at the sight of me, rushing over to me but at the same time hesitant.
Her expression startled me with the horror it registered and for the first time, I considered what I must look like.
My gown was ripped and almost saturated with Aleck’s drying blood.
Across my shoulders hung a holster strung with swords.
And still I held the bloodstained murder weapon in my hand.
Several of my sisters and cousins were there, and I felt a surge of relief for their safety.
“Bonnie,” I said, clinging to her. She drew back from me, from the gore and the weapons, but I was too out of my mind with my mission to take much notice of her reaction.
“Where’s Jamie? Where’s Caleb? I need to find Caleb. I need to get to the dungeons.”
“Stella,” Ann gasped. “Why?”
“They’ve taken him there. I need to get to him,” I said urgently.
“Who, Stella?” Bonnie asked. Her voice sounded odd, as though she were speaking to a spooked animal.
“Kade! They’ve taken Kade. They’re going to beat him. ’Tis already done, I’m sure they’re hurting him. I need to help him. ’Tis my fault, all of it!”
“But, Stella,” said Ann, “what’s happened to you? Have you hurt yourself? Whose blood—?”
“It was Aleck,” I replied quickly. “He’s dead. I killed him.”
There a communal gasp of horror. “You did what?” Clementine asked. “Oh, God, Stella, how? Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I yelled, frantic with my quest. Each second seemed to compound the distance and the channeling effects of Kade’s agony in me.
“I had to. He tried to force me, and Campbell and his men took Kade. I need to find Jamie and Caleb. He knows the way to the dungeons. Tell me where they are. Please!” I was holding Bonnie’s shoulders, and her eyes were not on me but on the blade of the knife I still held, which ran through the strands of her long dark hair, cutting a loch, causing it to fall to the floor.
“Aye, Stella!” Bonnie said.
“I’m not asking you to come with me. Just tell me where he is. And Caleb, where’s Caleb? I’ll find the way myself.”
“I don’t know, Stella. I don’t know,” she repeated. “They’re using him as a messenger. He could be anywhere.”
This was unwelcome news, to be sure. I didn’t have time to wander the keep in search of him.
I knew it was a futile question, but I asked it anyway. “You don’t know where the dungeons are, do you? Any of you?”
Bonnie answered as I expected. “Nay. They keep its location secret, even from the men. Only senior officers are privy to that information.” Bonnie was wide-eyed and shaken. As were we all. “Would you have me...come with you, Stella?”
“I’ll go alone. I can keep myself hidden more easily that way.”
“Nay, Stella!” cried Ann. “’Tis too dangerous! I’m coming with you. You need someone with you in case something happens. In case you need help.”
“Nay,” I said, surprised by the raw authority of my own voice.
“Clementine. Bonnie. Take some food and go to your chambers. Find the others. Keep yourselves safe.” My father had fortified the locks of our private chambers long ago.
I knew them to be virtually unbreakable.
“Lock the doors well. Stay there and do not come out until the Mackenzie army has not only arrived but also driven the Campbells either back to their keep or to the fiery depths of hell itself.”
My sisters seemed taken aback not only by the tone of my command but also by its somewhat colorful delivery.
I couldn’t help being secretly pleased by the thought that my husband would have appreciated that line.
I was picturing his face and the tiny quirk at the corner of his mouth when I amused him.
The image made me more determined than ever to save him.
The ache in my chest was very nearly overwhelming.
His agony and mine felt like one and the same.
And my sisters obeyed me.
Except one.
She had been quiet until now, but her eyes were lit with the singular feminine tenacity and also the willfulness that were among the strongest threads of her character.
It might have been the mention of the Mackenzies that made her decision.
If the Mackenzie army was alerted to our dire situation, that meant that the Stuart army would also inevitably learn of it.
And that meant that Wilkie Mackenzie might, very soon, be on his way to Glenlochie.
There was no way Maisie would allow herself to be holed up and hidden if even the slightest likelihood of his arrival was upon us.
And there, amid her stubbornness and her hope, I could see a realization in her eyes, too. “You love him,” she said.
“Aye,” I told her with utter sincerity. “I’ll do whatever it takes to free him.”
She understood, and against every impulse I knew my sister to possess, there were tears in her eyes as she said, “I didn’t mean what I said, Stella.
Of course you deserve each other. You and Kade are a perfect match, ’tis obvious to all of us.
I’m sorry for what I said to you. I was jealous and heartbroken.
And now I’m going to make amends for my horrid behavior.
” My sister was a ball of feminine wiles and urges.
But she had a good heart. This, I had to—and did—believe.
She continued, her eyes shiny with tears.
“I didn’t know, Stella. He just looks so much like... and I thought—”
“It doesn’t matter, sister. I knew why you did it. ’Tis of no consequence now.”
Ann was draping a cape over my shoulders and securing it tightly at my neck. “To hide the weapons and the...evidence,” she said, her voice choked from emotion. “Come back safe to us.”
And so Maisie and I took our leave of our sisters in search of the dungeons.