Chapter 9
Jean didn’t see Liam at dinner. Her curiosity was piqued, but she tried to focus on what her mother and Lady Kylie were discussing as they walked down the halls of the keep.
She wanted to escape, to find Liam, but her mother was finding every excuse to keep Jean with her.
First, it was a stroll under the stars. Then, it was a visit to one of the new friends her mother had made.
Now, Moira and Kylie were accompanying Jean to the kitchens because she hadn’t eaten enough at dinner.
She couldn’t remember the last time her mother had been so attentive to her. “Did you enjoy your time here, my dear?” Moira asked.
It was not a strange question, but it was a strong tone of voice. Almost like her mother was asking her something completely different. Normally, her mother was less coy and more straightforward.
“‘Tis been fun,” Jean said honestly. She wasn’t certain what her mother wanted, but if Kylie had been fretting about being a good hostess, there was no need to worry.
“And Liam? Have you enjoyed spending time with him?”
“Aye.”
Her mother and Kylie exchanged a look. “He is a good man, is he not?” Moira said after clearing her throat.
Is that what they wanted? An outside opinion? “Aye. He will make an excellent clan leader one day,” Jean assured them.
“And personally? How do ye feel about him, dear?”
Jean hoped she didn’t look as confused as she felt.
“I personally believe that he will make a wonderful laird.” It was obvious that it was not the answer Kylie wanted, so she cleared her throat and tried again.
“Lady Kylie, I have enjoyed spending time with Liam. It was like we were kids again, smacking wooden swords on the practice fields. Thank ye for the invitation and the opportunity to see him again. I imagine it might be a few years before I get to see him again. By then, he will no doubt be married with a brood of children.”
Kylie’s shoulders slumped, and Jean frantically tried to backpedal. “But not too soon of course. Marriage is not on his mind.”
This time it was her mother who looked unhappy, and Jean sighed inwardly. She was making a hash of things, and she didn’t even know why. That was the crux of her life. “If ye will excuse me, I think I might retire early tonight.”
“Verra well, Jean. Yer father has informed me that we will be leaving the day after next, so please plan accordingly. Ye should start packing.”
The day after tomorrow? That was a few days earlier than planned.
First Liam was missing from dinner, and now they were leaving early? Something was happening, and she would not be the last to know.
She checked Liam’s room first although she doubted she would find him there. He wasn’t one to hide in his room when he had a problem. Next, she checked the meeting chambers in case he was in a late discussion. But again, she came up empty.
When she checked the armory, she almost smiled in satisfaction. Liam was a man of action. Of course he would be in the midst of actively fixing whatever was bothering him. Then, she realized what it meant. “Ye need to take weapons with ye,” she said slowly. “Ye are going back to the river, then?”
“Aye.” He continued to take stock of the weapons before him. He looked almost dazed.
Was he confused about which weapon he should take?
“I’m certain ye are happy with yer own sword, so I cannae imagine ye are planning to take another.
Ye also have an excellent crossbow. The mace and war hammer are more of a battle weapon.
It willnae do ye vera well if ye are hunting or building.
And if ye are hoping to supply untrained people with weapons, that is only a way for them to injure themselves. ”
He knew all of this, of course. Jean just wanted to pull him out of his daze. “There was an armory for emergency by the river, but five years ago, they needed the extra building as a sick house. They put the weapons out, and they rusted horribly. They were never replaced.”
“And ye are trying to decide the best way to replenish it given the circumstances.” Jean circled the armory as if she were considering the weapons.
If this was how he needed her help, she was more than happy to give her opinion, but she knew that there was something else bothering him.
“Rumors at dinner said that their food storage was decimated mysteriously. Are ye certain that weapons are what’s needed? ”
Liam chuckled dryly and sat on the bench. “And here, Jean Sinclair, I thought ye assumed that weapons were appropriate for every occasion.”
“Aye, but sometimes people are the weapon.” Sitting next to him, she started to put her hand on his and changed her mind at the last second. “Tell me what happened, Liam.”
“Nothing but hearsay. Nuisance events that are piling up,” Liam growled. “Nothing we can say for certain. Nothing that we can go to war over.”
“Amelia’s death is not a nuisance event, Liam.” His anger was overwhelming, and she feared for a moment that it might consume him. He needed an outlet before he left. The more he shoved it down, the more it would impair his judgement.
“Amelia died from a hound,” he said and stood, carefully avoiding her gaze. “A feral dog that is causing a lot of problems.”
Shocked, she stared at him. This was not the same man she’d spoken with twelve hours ago, the one who she’d convinced to trust his own judgment. Just what had happened with him and his father? “What makes ye say that?” She asked cautiously.
“My father is depending on me,” he said stiffly.
“There are no wolves in the Highlands, and there are certainly no monsters. I am going to create a sense of calm to let my people know that they are safe on Armstrong lands. They are panicked with fear of suspicion and the unknown. I am a leader, and I willnae add to that. There is no monster. There is a feral dog, and I intend to put it down when I get there.”
He stared at her, his eyes dark with an intensity that scared her. She couldn’t decide if he really believed what he was saying or not.
“I spoke to Donal. He said that Amelia had a sister. Mara. She has no one now,” Jean said quietly as her mind worked.
There would be no point in arguing with him now.
He had plenty to prepare for, and she didn’t want to add to the burden on his shoulders.
“She will take great comfort in ye being there.”
Confusion crossed his face. “What are ye implying?”
“I amnae implying anything. I am being genuine. However, ye just told me that yer people are scared, in particular a lone woman who has no one. A group of men showing up is excellent, especially one who is planning on being practical. Surely, they need practical, but perhaps they need something a little more. I will speak to my parents…”
“No.”
At the harshness in his voice, she stilled. “I havenae yet asked anything of ye, Liam.”
“I know what ye want, Jean. You arenae coming with us.”
“Is this because Donal is spreading rumors that I am a princess?”
“It is because ye are a warrior. A self-proclaimed warrior.”
Wariness crept through her as she stared at him. “And what do ye mean by that?”
His eyes gentled, and she could read the pity in them.
Pity!
It made her want to scream. Here she was, about to offer him help, and his answer was to hurt her.
“Jean, ye just said so yourself. I am taking a group of warriors. I dinnae need another. Ye are going back to Sinclair Keep with yer parents. I’ve enjoyed yer stay here. Verra much so.”
Jean tried not to take offense, but when he turned his back on her, it hurt. Was everything he said to her here, everything he said about her, nothing but platitudes to please her father? Just so the alliance could continue between the Armstrongs and Sinclairs?
Did he see her like everyone else? Nothing but a pawn?
She opened her mouth to argue, but Liam hadn’t even looked back at her. He’d already assumed that she was gone. He was testing the weights of the swords.
To him, the conversation was done. She would not be going.
Her temper swelled, but she tamped it down. She knew how it would sound, and she knew what he needed. It was the night before he was leaving on what could be a dangerous journey. She did not want to rattle him no matter how angry he had made her. No matter how much he deserved it.
What had Donal said he would do if there was a friend that he was worried about?
“Verra well. Good night, Liam,” she said sharply as she turned to leave.
“Wait, Jean.”
She whipped her head around. Despite everything, hope burst in her chest. “Aye?”
“I dinnae want ye to be angry with me. I dinnae know what I will find when I get there. Gordon has been traveling for several days, and it will take another couple of days before we arrive. We have no idea what state the territory will be in. Anything could have happened. Anything could happen. Yer safety is important to me.”
“I can protect myself, Liam,” she said softly. “Have I not proven that?”
He opened his mouth and closed it. She knew that she should leave it at that, but she couldn’t stop herself. She took a deep breath. “Tell me what is on yer mind, Liam. Please.”
“Ye are impressive, Jean. Yer skills with a bow and arrow are unparalleled. Ye are an excellent tracker, and ye have been trained well in hand-to-hand combat, but ye are shadowed everywhere ye go. Ye have practiced with people who pull their blows.”
He spoke softly, but every word hurt like an arrow to the chest. Liam didn’t believe in her.
“Goodnight, Liam. I’d say good luck, but I know that ye dinnae need it. Ye are an excellent warrior, Liam. When ye decide to trust yer own instincts, ye will be an excellent leader, too.”
She knew it was a low blow, but she was still hurt, the kind of pain she’d never experienced before.
Betrayal.