Chapter 1
“I’m off now, lass,” Lyle said, kissing Elspeth on the cheek. He ruffled Eoin’s hair before he walked out of the door. “Are ye sure ye hae everything?”
“Aye Da, dinnae ye worry. I will hae dinner ready for ye when ye come home,” Elspeth said, rolling her eyes.
Lyle said the same thing every time he went to work, as though for the past six years, Elspeth had not been taking care of the home when he went to work.
It had been difficult to adjust after her mother’s death.
The light and happiness provided by Eoin’s birth were diluted by the sorrow, but the family had been there for each other, as had everyone in Kilin.
It had taken a long time for life to return to something Elspeth considered normal, but she was now a woman of eighteen years old and had stayed true to her vow of looking after Eoin.
“Yer auntie will stop by this afternoon tae look in on ye,” he said, halfway out the door. Lyle stopped when he heard Elspeth huffing. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, and she placed her hands against the counter of the kitchen, cleaning up the bowls that had been used for breakfast.
“What’s wrong, lass?” Lyle asked, stepping back into the kitchen.
“I dinnae need Aileen tae check up on me. I know what I’m daeing. I’m nae a child.”
Lyle studied her for a moment and then let his head drop.
“Aye lass, I suppose ye are right. In some ways, ye will always be a child tae me, but I know all ye hae been through. These last years hae nae been easy for ye. Ye never asked for this, and ye’ve haed tae grow up quickly.
I wanted tae thank ye, lass. I couldnae hae done this without ye.
After yer ma died, I was a broken man. Ye helped keep me taegether.
Ye know lass, soon enough ye are gaeing tae hae tae gae out and find a life of yer own. ”
“What?” Elspeth asked, furrowing her brow.
“I want ye tae hae a good life. Ye cannae stay here forever. Ye need a husband of yer own. A family of yer own. I know this life haes nae been what ye expected, but I want ye tae be happy.” They were the last words he said as he walked out to go and tend the grounds of the laird’s castle.
“But I am happy,” Elspeth said in a quiet voice as she turned back to the sink and reflected on what he said.
There hadn’t been a moment when she had ever thought about leaving.
It was her home, her family, and she didn’t know what her father or Eoin would do without her.
She closed her eyes as the echoes of the past came storming through her mind.
Her stomach twisted in knots as she remembered the cries of pain beyond the closed door and then the stained sheets, the crimson shadows that seeped out of her mother’s limp body.
She had vowed to herself then that she would never put herself through that, and yet her father seemed to think it was the most natural thing in the world.
After she had cleaned up after breakfast, Elspeth took Eoin for a walk through Kilin as she needed to run a few errands. She went to the baker’s to buy some bread and smiled at everyone as she walked along, for everyone in Kilin knew each other, and they had all been kind to her after the tragedy.
They walked down to the blue-gray river that ambled through the town.
The laird’s castle stood nestled against a rising hill, and Elspeth looked at it with pride as it was where her father worked.
Beyond the castle was the thick forest, which had the blue sky resting above it.
A single road wound through Kilin. It was a small town, and not many people came, but it was close to Inverness, so occasionally they had a stream of merchants trundling through, eager to sell their wares in the bigger city.
Although Kilin was a quiet place, the people were friendly; Elspeth couldn’t imagine herself being anywhere else.
The laird hosted fun events throughout the year, and because the town was so small, every event that happened was like spending time with friends.
There weren’t many people of her own age around, but because Elspeth had grown up quickly, she had a mature outlook on life and often got on better with people who were older than her.
A walk around the village should have been a simple affair, but Eoin was a curious child and wanted to examine everything.
He was easily distracted by a yapping dog or a colorful flower, and now that he was six, he was asking questions that Elspeth simply didn’t know the answers to.
At one point, they were walking along the riverbank, and Elspeth saw some pretty flowers.
She walked up to them and plucked a few to put on display at home.
“These were Ma’s favorite,” she said offhandedly.
Eoin grew quiet as he took one of the flowers and stroked the petals with his small hands.
Even though he was a child, there were moments when he seemed quite pensive, as though he bore the weight of the world on his shoulders.
While he didn’t say anything, Elspeth knew that not knowing his mother weighed heavily upon Eoin, and she wished she could do more than tell him stories.
But at least the stories helped keep their mother alive.
“Ma used tae bring me here when I was yer age,” Elspeth said. “She used tae sit me down and get me tae look up and down the river. She said that if I got on a raft, the river would carry me all the way down tae England itself.”
“Really?” Eoin gasped, his eyes wide.
“Oh aye, although she said that we should never gae down there because the people in England dinnae like us.”
“Why nae?” Eoin asked.
Elspeth sighed because it was another question that she did not know the answer to. She simply shrugged. “Maybe because we hae such a beautiful country around us. Ma used tae say that there is nowhere in the world more beautiful than the Highlands and that we are lucky tae live here.”
They shared a small smile, and then Eoin slipped his hand into Elspeth’s. It was such a small gesture, and yet it brought so much warmth to her heart and soul. She squeezed his hand and they walked back home, talking about all the mysteries of the world and what lands lay beyond Scotland.
Later on in the day, Aileen came round. Lyle’s sister was much like him: broad in the shoulders and quite brash in her manner.
She had spent a lot of time helping out the family after the tragedy, although there were times when Elspeth found her quite overbearing.
She fussed a lot and didn’t seem to realize that Elspeth could take care of things by herself.
“What hae ye been daeing, Eoin? Rolling around wi’ the pigs?” Aileen said as she came in. She licked her thumb and rubbed Eoin’s cheeks. The boy squirmed under her rough touch. Elspeth’s cheeks reddened.
“He was only playing outside a wee while. I was just about tae get him ready for a wash,” Elspeth said.
“Ye cannae let him trail dirt all around the place! Ye’ll spend all yer life scrubbing floors after him.
Aye, he’s just like his da, alright. I remember when he was young, he used to drag in all sorts.
He was more like a dog than a man,” Aileen said, shaking her head.
After this, though, she came up to Elspeth and gave her a big hug, which went some way to softening her words.
Elspeth exhaled deeply and reminded herself that Aileen was only saying these things because she cared.
She could quite easily have not come over at all.
“And how is the prettiest lass in the land taeday?” Aileen asked, falling into rhythm with Elspeth as she helped to chop some vegetables for a stew later.
Elspeth smiled with silent thanks. The steady rhythm of knives thudding against wooden boards created a strong melody that ran underneath the sounds of their conversation.
“I’m fine, Auntie, except, well, I wondered if I could talk with ye for a wee moment?”
“Aye lass, ye know that ye can talk tae me about whatever ye want.”
A troubled expression came over Elspeth’s face.
Even though she had spent the morning walking about Kilin, she hadn’t been able to distract herself from what her father had said.
It nagged and gnawed at her mind, so much so that it felt as though it was clawing at her. She repeated what Lyle had said.
“I just dinnae know how tae feel about it. This is my home, my family. Does he really expect me tae leave?”
Aileen looked at her with sympathy. “Lass, ye cannae spend yer whole life here. I know ye hae done a wonderful job, but this is nae what ye were made for. I know yer ma wouldnae hae wanted ye tae take her place like this. She wanted ye tae be happy and fall in love. She wanted ye tae find someone that ye could love as much as she loved yer da.”
“But how is he gaeing tae cope without me? What’s gaeing tae happen with Eoin? I promised that I would always take care of him.”
“Aye, but ye hae tae take care of yerself as well. Believe me, yer da is more capable than ye think, and soon enough, Eoin is gaeing tae be old enough tae look after himself. I’ll always be here as well.
Ye are reaching the age where ye should be enjoying life.
” She sighed a moment and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“There is a wider world out there, far bigger than the one ye hae been used tae. Ye deserve more than tae tend tae the stove for yer kin. Ye are missing out on everything that life haes tae offer.”
Elspeth nodded and mumbled her agreement, but the truth of the matter was that so much of life was frightening.
She knew how to tend to her home. Anything else was unknown and scary.
Aileen said that she would bathe Eoin while Elspeth continued to prepare dinner.
While they were busy, Elspeth thought about her youth and how she had felt about things before her mother had died.
She did have dreams of her own. She used to sit by the river and think about the places it could carry her.
But when her mother had died, she had become rooted in Kilin and assumed that she would always stay there.
She decided that she would talk with her father when he returned, once Eoin had gone to bed.
But fate, as it so often did, had other plans.
Aileen had left, and Elspeth was waiting anxiously for Lyle to return home.
Eoin was grumbling about being hungry, so she had given him some fruit to sate him until dinner.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a shadow approaching and assumed it was Lyle, but then she was puzzled by a knock at the door.
She opened it and saw that a guard from the laird’s castle stood there, his face harrowed.
His tunic was stained with dark shadows, and there was the faint smell of ash lingering around him.
His face was smudged with soot, but sweat left plain lines running through the dirt. He gasped for breath.
“Are ye Lyle’s lass?” he asked.
Elspeth nodded.
“I’m sorry tae tell ye this, but yer da is dying.”