Chapter 24
We all piled into a rented limo. We were dressed for mud and Scottish rain and cows—rubber boots, jeans, flannels, and rain coats.
Nevertheless, Kara, who had rented the limo, made sure there was a flashing disco light overhead and that there were drinks for everyone.
Everything from champagne to whisky to red wine, Irn Bru, or Diet Coke, she had it.
And she had her wildly inappropriate tight silver sequined dress and heels.
“Well, it’s your one and only bachelorette party. I know you’re settling down, but you’re not dead!” said Kara with a laugh.
Kara revealed the accessories—a “Bride to Be” headband for Caitlin and sashes for the rest of us. Caitlin immediately grabbed “Party Animal.”
“Nope,” said Kara, swapping it for “Bride to Be.” “That one’s mine.”
Lindsay took “Dancing Diva.” Melissa, after a moment’s deliberation, settled on “Bad Influence.” Sydney took “Total Diva.” And Elspeth took “Wild Child.”
I looked at what was left: “Hot Mess.”
“Lately that has been my life, so I guess I’ll take it,” I said, with a little more grumble than intended.
“What’s going on with you and Max?” asked Caitlin.
Excellent question. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him. I honestly don’t know if he went to Edinburgh or Glasgow to talk production, if he flew back to LA… or if he’s away with the fairies.”
“It would make a great movie if he was…,” said Melissa.
“Hold that thought! We’re here!” said Lindsay.
The Highland Coo Experience was a mid-sized farm nestled in the Highlands. Fluffy white sheep dotted the rolling green hillside alongside wildflowers. Beyond them stood wooden stables, their time-worn doors hanging slightly open. The scent of hay and manure mingled with the Highland air.
A weathered man in an olive green rain jacket, worn jeans, and mud-speckled boots greeted us.
“Welcome to the Highland Coo Experience. We don’t have a Disney-style ride like the Edinburgh Whisky Experience had, but you will get to meet some of the gentlest beings you’ll ever meet. Everyone got their mud-gear?”
Kara stepped out of her heels and into a pair of cute wellies before donning a long raincoat. “All set!”
“We’ll have you sign a few waivers, go over some animal safety rules, and then we’ll be on our way,” he said as he handed out clipboards.
After we heard his safety talk, he led us into the pasture behind the barn.
My breath caught at the sight of them. Long front bangs hanging over their eyes, beautiful reddish-brown fur like giant Irish setters, and so gentle.
When I extended my hand toward the nearest one, the beast lowered its massive head, allowing me to run my fingers through the thick fur of its neck.
“Try scratching her chin. I guarantee she’ll love it,” he said.
I reached out and scratched under her chin. She leaned into my touch, her eyes half-closing in what looked like pure bliss. Our phones came out in unison, everyone angling for the perfect shot with these gentle giants.
“Selfie queens,” Caitlin announced, arm around a lovely mother cow named Edita whose calf peeked shyly from behind.
“Okay, now, if you’ve all taken some selfies and patted these cows, we’re going to go on safari. The vehicle will be along in just a moment,” said the guide, pulling out a walkie talkie.
Soon a little tractor came around with a large wagon attached like a trailer.
Kara was still in her fancy dress, yet she somehow managed to climb the steps in her wellies without any rips, trips, or lost sequins.
The rest of us lumbered up easily and sat on the benches, wondering what a Highland cow safari would be like.
“We probably should have special ‘Highland Cow Safari’ hats,” mused Melissa.
“Damn, didn’t think of it. We do have tiaras for later, though…,” I said.
The tractor stopped at the edge of a sprawling meadow.
Before us, Highland cattle dotted the landscape, their shaggy coats shone in the sunlight as they meandered between patches of clover.
Some lounged in the grass, chewing lazily, while others dipped their massive horned heads to graze. What a nice life, to be a Highland cow.
We rattled along the bumpy road, taking our last views of the cows grazing. I leaned toward Kara. “I didn’t think about food and drinks for after. How hungry do you think people are? There’s a pub about a half hour drive away.”
Kara winked. “It’ll be okay.”
“Is there something in the limo?”
“Better!” she said with a grin.
As the safari returned to the stables, I looked around. “Where’s Sydney?”
Elspeth looked up from her phone where she was editing an adorable photo of Sydney and herself petting a cow. “She said she had to go back and ask something and that she’d be right back.”
“I bet she’s already in the barn. It’s not a bad walk, and you know how she loves hiking,” said Kara, who’d only just met Sydney, but… okay.
“How could she be in the barn?” I asked.
“Let’s have a look. I’m sure we’ll get this sorted,” said Lindsay, winking at Kara.
What did they know that I didn’t? I couldn’t shake the feeling they were all in on some secret.
Stepping down from the trailer, our shoes squished through the muddy field as we made our way toward the barn. At the entrance, Kara leaned in for a quick look, then turned back with a conspiratorial smile, waving us forward with urgent fingers.
The barn’s interior had been transformed—a disco ball suspended from the rafters cast spinning fragments of light across fairy lights strung between wooden beams, illuminating small cocktail tables arranged in a semicircle.
Kara stood center stage, microphone in hand, her voice booming with the exaggerated enthusiasm of a wrestling announcer as colored lights pulsed around her. “Welcome to the Highland Coo Experience AFTER PARTY!”
The barn plunged into darkness as I’m Too Sexy erupted from hidden speakers, and the disco ball scattered fractured light across our stunned faces.
Kara ushered us into our seats with Caitlin in the middle, looking mortified. “We said nice and wholesome!” she protested.
“Aye, and nice and wholesome is what you got. We had a lovely Highland Coo experience, and now it’s time to meet some nice, wholesome dancers,” said Lindsay, with a knowing smirk.
Caitlin covered her eyes, peeking through two fingers as a stall door opened.
Angus appeared, dressed in his family kilt with a tight t-shirt, showing off his muscular arms. We all cheered, and he flashed her a mischievous grin.
When they reached the line “I’m too sexy for my shirt…
” he expertly pulled off his shirt, twirled it over his head, and tossed it to Caitlin, who grabbed it with glee.
For the next verse, Drew, Lindsay’s boyfriend, danced out of a stall and into the main barn. He wasn’t quite the dancer that Angus was, but he made up for it by hamming it up to the cheesy song, prancing around on the catwalk in his kilt. His antics earned even more cheers.
Elspeth rolled her eyes and muttered something about heteronormative entertainment, but Kara just flashed her mischievous grin.
Soon the next stall door pushed open to reveal Sydney, dressed in a kilt and waving around a matching tartan sash.
With a flourish, she flung one end around Elspeth’s waist and used it to reel her in for a kiss. Wild applause followed.
The spotlight suddenly swung to Colin, who blinked in its glare, his composure momentarily fractured as he realized everyone was watching.
He tugged at the hem of his snug T-shirt that couldn’t hide his rippling muscles.
He danced, stiffly at first, until Melissa whooped his name, and he broke into a grin.
He extended his hand to Melissa, whisked her from her seat, and twirled her in a circle that left her laughing as our hoots and hollers echoed through the barn rafters.
I threw my arms around Kara. “Kara, this was hilarious. Perfect. How’d you—”
She raised a finger and pointed as the last stall door opened.
There stood Max, grinning. He moonwalked into the center of the floor, already moving to the beat.
When he reached me, he unbuttoned his flannel with a theatrical flourish, revealing a white T-shirt with the words HIGHLAND FLING in plaid letters.
He pressed a quick kiss to my forehead, then took my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor.
I barely had time to laugh before he spun me out, then back in, his palm steadying me at my waist. When he dipped me, the room tilted—and for a second, all I could see was him.
As the final notes faded, our applause filled the barn, mingled with whistles and whoops of appreciation. The performers in their swaying kilts took exaggerated, theatrical bows before gesturing with sweeping arms toward Kara, acknowledging her as the mastermind behind our unexpected entertainment.
“Kara organized all of this, so don’t forget to thank her for this… unique experience,” said Angus.
I squeezed Kara’s arm. “I can’t believe you did all this. I was sitting there feeling guilty that—”
“Stop.” Kara waved her hand dismissively. “You gave Caitlin exactly what she asked for—wholesome Highland cows. I just added a little… Scottish dessert. Angus helped me convince the partners.”
“Well, thank you. Maybe we should team up—I plan the weddings, and you plan the bachelorette parties?”
“Except I just talked to Shane and guess what?” Max said, gently putting his arm around me. “Are you still interested in being a producer on a three-picture deal set in Scotland?”
I looked at him. Behind me, my sister’s laughter floated through a barn of fairy lights and disco balls and Highland cows somewhere in the background.
I gasped. “Are you serious?”
“Shane said yes… to funding all three films.” Max beamed down at me.
“Shut up,” I said, then kissed him.