Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“If Mr. Jardo offers you his campaign, you have to take it!” April squeals.
“No, she doesn’t,” Candace cuts in. “She can say no if she’s not interested.”
I have my friends on a three-way call as I sit on the unmade bed of my apartment. Pageant gowns in all sizes and colors are thrown this way and that, my earlier panic attack causing me to reach out to my besties for their much-needed advice.
“Keri, this is your way out,” April insists.
“But what if she wants to stay, April? She’s torn. If she leaves, she may never come back.” Candy’s words hit me.
Never come back.
“You need to follow your heart,” she says.
I clear my throat. “If I follow my heart, I’ll stay here in Heartsboro and end up barefoot and pregnant.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” Candace says.
“The very place you’ve been trying to leave for the last decade,” April reminds me. “Come on! I can’t believe you’re even thinking about staying. This is a no-brainer.”
“But I’d be with Adam.” My voice cracks.
“Shame on him for dangling this carrot in front of you. I mean, why did he send his agent your photo to begin with, especially if he has no interest in pursuing something this huge?” The tone in April’s voice holds anger.
I understand. I’m touched that she’s so adamant about rooting for team-Keri.
Everyone should have a friend like April in their lives.
Someone who cheers you on to bigger and better things.
Someone who dares you to look outside your comfort zone when you’re struggling to make a huge life decision.
“I don’t think he realized this could turn into something this huge,” I reply.
“Is an expensive perfume ad worth the risk of losing the one person in your life who means more to you than anything else?” Candy asks. Of course, it also pays to have an empathetic friend like Candace. Her softer, romantic approach is important too.
“No,” I say immediately.
“Then there’s your answer.”
“Ugh! He’s not worth it, Keri. You don’t even have a ring,” April says.
“Listen, it wasn’t supposed to blow up like this. Adam had no idea the photo would end up in Jardo’s hands. This is a fluke. A fantastic, heartbreaking conundrum, okay?” My mind swirls with pros and cons.
“Take a breath,” April says. “If you stay, how do you know Adam won’t run off again? How well do you really know him?”
I exhale a long sigh and stare out of the two-story window at the scene below as people go in and out of Miss Jenny’s happy yellow front door.
I know how I felt when I first laid eyes on Adam at her café.
And again, when we spent our first full day in the lavender fields at Jamison Farm.
When he held me in his arms as we two-stepped at The Tipsy Daisy.
And when he opened up to me, sharing his grief about his lost family.
Roasting marshmallows by the creek and spending our first night together in the camper van.
Being on his arm at Roxy’s wedding. Traveling across the country, just him and me and Molly.
Being with Adam is the color in my otherwise gray life, the adventure I always craved.
We’ve made plans—so many plans. Each one a bold leap into the future.
Because of him, I’ve started to believe I’m brave.
But this is different. Am I truly bold enough now to step away from his orbit and face the world alone?
Or am I fooling myself, clinging to him because I’m terrified to fail by myself?
I can honestly say these last few months have been some of the best days of my life.
No pageant crown or first-place trophy could ever compare.
Not even a famous French perfume ambassador.
I admit, I’m curious about what a global ad campaign entails.
But I’ve never been out of the country before.
Besides, I know in my heart, I’d never be happy traveling the world without Adam by my side.
“April, do we ever really know anyone?” I ask. “People change. No one’s the same as they were a year ago. Life shapes us, our moods, and how the world sees us. And I’m in love with this man. Isn’t that the deepest feeling you can have for someone?”
Silence. Then Candace speaks. “Adam’s making a personal choice, but he’s not holding you back. That means a lot. He wants your happiness, even if you fly solo.”
Little does my friend know how poignant her choice of words are to me.
“Whatever you choose, we’re behind you,” April concedes. “But I still think you should go for it.”
I snicker. “Says the girl who never takes no for an answer.”
“Till the day I die,” she shoots back.
We all laugh. “Seriously, I love you two. Thanks for listening.”
“Love you,” Candy says passionately.
“Call us when you decide,” April says.
“I will.”
We end the call. I stay seated on the bed, staring out the window, needing time alone to percolate on my friends’ advice. But I’m still no closer to a decision. I’m at a crossroads. And one path doesn’t include Adam.
But we love each other. And isn’t that what matters most?
Do I choose to put my career first and hope that Adam and I can maintain a long-distance relationship that will eventually lead to him joining me someday?
Or do I put my dreams to bed and stay with him in Heartsboro, potentially regretting this decision?
I don’t want to lose this relationship, but the opportunity before me may never come again. And if I decide to go, I risk what I have with Adam forever.
The ultimate question I have to ask myself is, if I put love first, does that mean I’m putting myself and my own dreams… last?
***
I run my fingers across the fabric of the cerulean dress that started it all.
The one my grandmother hand-embroidered.
The same dress I wore when I won Miss Georgia Peach, and later to Roxy’s wedding, where it was mistaken for a designer gown.
A dress I shoved into a backpack and wore on top of a mountain at the edge of a thundering waterfall with my arms open wide among the mist.
It was an innocent idea, our Beauty and the Beast project. One I hoped would bring Adam and me closer together, not tear us apart.
Standing in the stillness of my vacant apartment on the second floor, I notice how the natural light hits the blue fabric differently.
The color reminds me of clear skies and tranquil waters, evoking a sense of calm.
When was the last time I felt that way? The answers come instantly: With Adam on our road trip and witnessing the sun reflecting off Mirror Lake.
The Mesa Arch at sunrise. Wide open spaces of the Texas Hill Country.
The home stretch over the Great Smoky Mountains. The sky in my own backyard.
I don’t need a global campaign to feel beautiful.
If Mr. Jardo knew my “magnifique” photo included me wearing a sweaty sports bra and hiking shoes underneath this dress, he might be singing a different French tune.
Let’s not forget, I wasn’t wearing a stitch of makeup, and I’m pretty sure my tangled, unwashed hair held a leaf and maybe even a twig or two as I stretched my arms toward the heavens.
Adam is the one who captured my spirit that day.
It’s his talent and keen eye that should be recognized, not some former Miss Peach reliving her glory days in a handsewn pageant dress.
Maybe being a beauty queen has always been about validation, attention, and proving myself to the world.
Adam sees me as a real person, not an image.
Maybe this entire idea of me being the poster child for a luxury perfume line is me seeing it as proof that I’m still valuable.
I remember sitting around one of the many campfires we had while on our road trip.
We were somewhere near the Grand Canyon, and I’ll never forget what Adam said to me that night as we were stargazing after a long day of hiking.
He was trying to explain the most meaningful lesson he’d learned during his career.
“Achievements only matter if you enjoy the process,” he’d said.
“No matter how I feel or how the world seems, when I take my camera and pay close enough attention, I’m able to uncover the beauty hidden in plain sight through everything else going on.
As hard as it is sometimes, I keep seeking the light.
I’ve learned over the years that it’s always available. I just have to choose to see it.”
I hang my dress up in the closet and close the door, realization hitting me between the eyes.
It’s Adam who should be recognized for the infamous photo, not me.
I know my Beauty and the Beast idea is a good one.
But if I’m being honest with myself, I’m not so sure I could model someone else’s vision.
I want to collaborate with Adam. We’re radiant together.
I’ve never laughed so much as I have since he came into my life.
It’s like we lean into this indescribable, easy warmth of two people who have chosen each other completely.
But have we? Have I?
There was one flashing moment in my life when I thought I was special. It’s when I won Miss Georgia Peach. Since then, my name has long been forgotten, and I’ve led a very common life. Until Adam.
Now, I feel like I’ve achieved incredible success, because I can honestly say I’ve loved another with my entire heart and soul.
Shouldn’t that be enough? I know it won’t be easy.
Nothing ever is in life. We’re going to have to work at it.
Long distance is really not an option either because I know myself.
I’ll pine for him every day. Every waking hour without him.
I want Adam. I want all of him, and I’m pretty darn sure he wants all of me. I want us to be together.
Forever.
I sit on the edge of the bed with a thump. “There’s your answer,” I whisper to myself.
I close my eyes, visions of Adam vividly filling my mind. It’s his light that fills my world with beauty and purpose. I choose the light.
I choose Adam.