Chapter Thirteen #2
Trenton was still scrubbing uselessly at his hair when Hilary burst back into the bathroom.
“It’s not coming out,” the boy said. “I think we’ll have to cut—”
“Never mind that.” He grabbed at Trenton’s wrist. “We have to go.”
Trenton started to ask why and stopped when he saw his mother in the bathroom doorway. “Oh,” he said.
Hilary tugged again. He should have headed right to the car, but something made him turn, going toward the boy’s bedroom instead.
It was pathologically neat, and so devoid of any personality it seemed completely unlived in. If not for the neat shelf of books and the clothing in some cheap plastic bins, Hilary never would have recognized any of it as belonging to his friend.
He grabbed the duffel from the floor of the closet. It had some gym things inside. Trenton’s spare Aikido Gi and a stick of deodorant. “Pack the important shit,” he said, jerking his head toward the books. “Just whatever you can carry.”
Trenton’s mouth opened, though he didn’t get the chance to speak.
The boy’s mother slapped the door frame. “You think you can run from it? He’s a killer. He kills babies.”
Hilary stuffed clothing into the duffel, forcing himself to be discerning. He took the things he knew best and whatever seemed the highest quality. But the duffel was small, and almost nothing fit. He had to duck under the woman’s arm to get back to the kitchen and still was followed.
“He smothered her,” she said to his back. “Only six months old, and he smothered her. That demon child was jealous because she was pretty. Because she was sweet, and he was—"
“So you’re the reason he thinks he’s ugly.” The words just came out—an accident. He well knew one wasn’t supposed to argue with crazy people. “But he’s not. He’s strong, and he’s handsome, and he’s not a killer.”
Trenton tried to grab his arm. “Let’s go. Let’s just go.”
Hilary pulled his arm free. “Where are the garbage bags?”
Trenton pulled open the one cabinet he’d somehow missed. “Here.”
“You don’t know!” the woman shouted. “Because he won’t tell you. But he killed her. Only six months—”
“If a six-month-old died in this house, it was your fault,” he countered. “He was only a baby himself. How could he be responsible for anything?”
She went white. Then she went purple. She flung herself at him.
If Trenton hadn’t caught hold of her, they would have both gone down together. Hilary was almost sorry they hadn’t. He kind of wanted an excuse to hit her, even if she was crazy.
“Hilary—”
“I just need a minute.”
He raced back to the room, re-focused, and began shoving things into garbage bags all while the woman’s shrieks filled the house. He wondered vaguely if the police would be called, or if the neighbors were already used to things like this and just ignored it.
He filled two bags—all he could carry—and headed back. Trenton was still in the kitchen, trying to restrain his mother so she wouldn’t hurt herself—his Aikido skills being stressed to breaking. His face was creased deeply with anxiety. His eyes were wet. “Hil.”
“It’s fine. Let’s just go.
Trenton pushed his mother into her own bedroom, whispered hoarsely, “I’m sorry,” together out the door.
Hilary thought the Shitheap wasn’t going to start, and he nearly stalled it into oblivion, but Trenton managed to get it going, and soon they were down and past, the house gone from sight. They were both shaking. Trenton from anxiety, and Hilary from a mix of anger and adrenaline.
“Is she schizophrenic or something?”
Trenton shook his head. The boy had only pulled on a pair of jeans, his feet and torso bare, and his hair, still smelling of fart, was dripping onto his face.
“Whatever the case, you can forget it. I don’t believe a word, so—”
“But I did,” Trenton managed, his voice still hoarse. “I did kill her.”
“Bullshit.”
“I don’t really know how I did it. I don’t remember. But she was left with me—Amelia. I was supposed to be watching her. I’m sure I would have been watching her. But she died, and—”
“Why the fuck was a five-year-old watching a baby?”
“I don’t think it was for long. She stepped out only to pick up some more infant formula. I read in the report that she claimed to have been gone only ten minutes, but in that time—somehow, in that time—”
“Says the report.” His anger was swelling, a sense of violation dominating. “She should have taken you to the store with her. You shouldn’t have been alone. And anyway, how is that killing? You couldn’t have been responsible.”
“But I smothered her.” Trenton’s voice was shredding. “Mother says—”
“I don’t care what she says! She’s obviously unhinged.”
“Because her baby died. Because I—”
“If you say you killed her again, I won’t forgive you.
Trenton, you’re too smart to believe any of this.
Weren’t you the four-year-old who learned to read on his own?
Who made himself food and dressed himself and found his way back and forth to the library?
No way did a conscientious kid like that kill his baby sister. ”
“Knowing how to read doesn’t mean—”
“It does if it’s you! People can change, but not that much. I could tell even from how you were holding her in that picture. Supporting her head and looking so serious, watching her instead of the camera. You didn’t hurt her, Trent. You don’t even let me kill the bugs at home.”
Trenton began to cry. He put his arms over his face like it was the most shameful thing in the world and cried for the first time since he was a little boy.
Hilary didn’t know that part—about it being such a long time.
He just knew that in the time he’d known his friend he hadn’t seen him so much as sniffle.
Trenton had only taken the comforting role, always protecting, never protected.
Perhaps now was the first time since that distant, forgotten memory that anyone had taken his side.
Hilary pulled over and took Trenton into his arms. “You shouldn’t cry. Not for something you’ve never done. If you’re going to cry, save it for our wedding.”
Trenton couldn’t laugh. He was too upset.
Hilary tried to kiss him, but Trenton shoved him away.
“Don’t. I reek.” And it was one thing too many for the boy, the misery of it real.
“I was already ugly and socially fucked, but now I stink too.” Trenton was blubbering, and it would have been cute if it weren’t so distressing. “And you used to like how I smell.”
“Like? I love the way you smell. I’d bottle it if I could and make a fortune if I ever decided to sell it—not that I would. I’m not sharing you with anyone.”
“But—”
“And another thing. I’m going to say this one last time, so open your fucking ears. You are not ugly. It’s just that woman’s brainwashing that makes you think so.”
“The others at school—”
“Know you’re a genius and the only one in this stupid hick town with the potential to make something of himself. They feel inferior. I felt inferior too when we first met. You’re brave and brilliant, and you don’t give a shit about what any of those losers think.”
“I do.”
“Because you’re worried about them hurting me. But that’s not the same as valuing their opinions. Trenton, you took the sex-repulsed virgin for life and made him salivate for you. If that’s not sexy, I don’t know what is.”
Trenton’s smile was a little wonky with the anxiety making him shaky and those bloodshot eyes, but he was still cute.
Hilary took one of those big hands he loved so much and pressed it to his face.
“If you’re going to hyper-focus on something, then put that brain to work on our five-year plan, because I’ve got a shit ton of things I want to do with you.
Can you do that? Can you look forward to the future with me? ”
Trenton’s mouth was going wonkier, trying to keep himself from crying even harder. “I want it too.”
“Then there’s nothing else to say. You can start by planning what we’re going to do for the break. And it better include lots of nasty stuff. I still haven’t given up on you taking my virginity, you know.”
Trenton pushed his face into his neck. “You were really cool back there.”
“Slander! I’ve never been cool a day in my life.”
“You were. It was kind of hot. I think I might have fallen for you.”
“You fell for my killer poetry, remember?”
“And your dancing.”
“That too.”
Hilary waited for Trenton to put his seat belt on, and then carefully eased the Shitheap back to life. Once he had the car in drive, he pulled Trenton’s head back to his shoulder. “Let’s go home.”
The parents didn’t show much surprise at the news of Trenton moving in.
“I thought you had already,” Albert said, holding the door open while they carried in the bags. “Did you two go bathing in sewage today?”