Chapter 38
JASMINE
Tucked away in a corner of Nanna’s garden at the family estate in Sharm El-Sheikh, it was easy to ignore the fact that my world was on fire, my heart broken, and my tea cold.
I just sat there under an old jacaranda tree and stared out at the Red Sea, wondering why the water was so intensely blue-green some days and such a vibrant aquamarine on others.
Logically, I knew the answer, but I hadn’t been particularly keen on logic this last week.
That was the beauty of Sharm. Usually, I came here to escape and explore, but this time, I was hiding, distracting myself with the natural wonders of a place I’d realized I’d been taking for granted for much too long.
The distractions had been a lifesaver. As had the privacy, solitude, and lack of questions around here. Back in Cairo, everything had been a mess. Isaac was gone and the only thing anyone knew was that he’d gone back to Chicago.
Joseph had been trying to mop up a clusterfuck of epic proportions, trying to keep the project from imploding while simultaneously attempting to convince Isaac to answer his phone. As far as I knew, it hadn’t worked yet.
Isaac wasn’t taking my father’s calls either, which had inevitably led Dad back to me.
I couldn’t count the amount of times he’d asked me what I’d done.
Eventually, I just hadn’t been able to take it anymore, so I’d come here, to a place where I could ignore the world at large while I licked my wounds.
In the meantime, however, I’d also made David’s proposal public, slipping the rumor to the local media. It had made me downright sick to my stomach the first time I’d seen my name linked with his in a headline, but I’d done what I had to do.
I wasn’t stupid or naive enough to believe that David had been secretly in love with me for all these years or that he wanted to marry me because he was desperate for us to spend the rest of our lives together. It was about money. Plain and simple.
The Mahers had lost theirs and David wanted access to the Saad fortune to replenish the family coffers. I’d accepted that right from the get-go and I’d agreed to marry him anyway, because at least Isaac and Joseph would have a shot now.
But only if Isaac came back.
Which seemed unlikely at this point.
I blew out a heavy breath and leaned back on my palm, closing my eyes as I tried to focus on the grass underneath me. So thick and lovely. Not itchy at all.
Unfortunately, that particular distraction only served to remind me of how itchy both Isaac and I had been in the desert.
Tears burned the backs of my eyes and a fissure opened up in my chest, the pain so immense that it felt like it might just tear me apart.
If I crumbled and turned to dust right here on the lawn, I wouldn’t have been surprised.
It hurt that much to know that he was gone. That no one had heard from him. To know that he loved me and I’d walked away without so much as looking back even once.
“I come bearing more tea,” Zara called in a sing-song voice as she emerged from the back door. I glanced over at her, only barely making out the blurry shape of her body since my vision was swimming with tears.
I sighed but accepted the steaming mug from her despite the fact that I didn’t want it.
Ever since she’d arrived here completely out of the blue a few hours ago, Zara had been hovering, not intentionally putting herself in my space but always close enough that I could just say her name if I wanted to talk.
So far, I hadn’t had the urge. Even so, I wrapped my fingers around the mug and managed to flash her a small smile. “Thanks.”
“Ah, she speaks.” Zara grinned, but her eyes were cloudy with concern. “How are you holding up?”
I shrugged, but even that was lackluster. “I’ll live.”
“Will you?” She held my gaze for another long beat before sighing and lowering herself right onto the grass with me.
Her nose wrinkled a little as she crossed her legs, but she swallowed most of her complaints.
“I just mean that you’ve never gone into hiding before.
It’s not like you, so I’m wondering what your life is going to look like from now on. If you call this living.”
“Okay, so maybe I won’t live, but I will survive,” I said quietly, turning away from her to look out at the sea again. “At least I’ll have a hell of a view while I’m doing it.”
“Jasmine.”
“No,” I whispered, my head shaking. I wiped away a tear that had started leaking from my eye. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”
She lapsed into a rare silence as she nodded, but approximately thirty seconds later, she wasn’t capable of keeping it up. “I spoke to Joseph this morning.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She smiled. “He’s exhausted. I don’t think he’s slept since the week after we got back from the cruise, but he texts me at least every morning and every night.”
I glanced at her, feeling a smile of my own break through the agony inside. “So you guys are really a thing now, huh?”
A faint flush spread on her cheeks. “It’s casual. We’re taking it slow, but yes. We are. We’re, uh, seeing each other, I guess.”
I bumped my shoulder lightly against hers, careful not to spill any of our literal tea while happily encouraging the metaphorical type. As long as we didn’t have to talk about me. Or Isaac. Or David. Or what was happening in the outside world.
“I’m happy for you,” I said. “I realize this is a massive change of pace from your usual guy game, but I think he’s going to surprise you.”
“He already has,” she admitted, a much softer smile on her face as she let her gaze drift to the water. “Do you know he blushes sometimes even if I’m just holding his hand? The other day, some old woman in a market asked if I was his girlfriend and I thought the poor man was going to faint.”
I chuckled. “He really likes you.”
“I think so. Or maybe I should rather say that I hope so,” she murmured.
“Joseph is just so different from every other guy I’ve dated, you know?
He’s not some self-involved jackass who only wants to be able to tell his friends that he slept with me.
He brings me breakfast in bed and he always calls.
No matter what else is going on, he finds time to pick up the phone and talk to me, and he never makes me feel like he’s rushing to the end of the conversation. ”
“Would you marry him?” I asked without meaning to.
I didn’t know which one of us was more taken aback by it.
Zara blinked hard, staring at me with her mouth hanging open. Then we both started laughing. I dropped my head into my hands. “I’m so sorry. I don’t even know why I asked. Forget I said anything.”
“Well, no,” she said, still laughing. “You’ve opened the door now. We’re talking through it.”
“Let’s not.”
As her laughter started tapering off, she nudged my knee. “Do you really want to know?”
“Sure. If you insist.”
“Then yes.” She said it like it was the most natural, most obvious thing in the entire world. Like it shouldn’t even have been a question. “I’d marry him tomorrow if he asked.”
“Even if it’s only been a few weeks?”
She shrugged. “It feels like I’ve known him forever. Have you ever heard the saying when you know, you know? Well, I know. I don’t need any longer to decide.”
“What about your lifestyle?” I asked. “You’re an heiress and he’s, well, not.”
“That’s exactly why I like him,” she said jokingly, but I was pretty sure she was serious. “I don’t care if we live in a mansion or a normal house. As long as we have a roof over our heads and we’re together, it will be home.”
“He doesn’t have a private jet.”
She sighed and flashed me a teasing smile. “I know, it’s a bummer, but still not a deal-breaker.”
“Is there anything that would be a deal-breaker to you if you had to leave it behind?”
She thought it over before shaking her head. “Life with him wouldn’t be nearly as comfortable, but it would still be life with him. That’s all that matters to me.”
I smiled. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”
She arched an eyebrow at me. “I know you do. I also know that’s why you’re asking, but look, we can’t help who we fall in love with. I mean, I doubt my family would actually let me marry him, but that doesn’t change the fact that I would. What about you?”
“I never even asked if marrying Isaac was a possibility,” I admitted, cracking my heart into pieces all over again. “In retrospect, I probably should’ve, right?”
“Probably, but on the other hand, what’s the use of asking if you already know the answer?
Our families are exactly the same in that sense, babe.
We’re expected to protect the wealth and ensure the legacy lives on.
Neither of our fathers is interested in hearing about something as common and unnecessary as love. ”
Before I could tell her that I wasn’t sure that was true in my case, hurried footsteps echoed along the garden path and I looked up to find my mother racing toward us. She seemed flustered and my stomach plummeted in response.
“Mom? What are you doing here?” I started pushing to my feet, worry snaking its way around my insides. “Is everything okay?”
“I need a word with you,” she said, sending Zara a small apologetic smile before lifting her gaze back to mine. “In private. If possible.”
Zara inclined her chin and rose from the grass, glancing back at me. “We’ll finish this later.”
I nodded, but as soon as she was out of earshot, I folded my arms and braced myself for whatever bad news my mother had flown all the way here to convey. “Has something happened?”
“It’s too late for anything to be done about the rumor that David has proposed to you,” she said softly, her brow furrowed in resignation, disappointment, and concern. “I tried, but the Mahers are already descending on Cairo for all the parties that must take place. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
All the air whooshed out of my lungs, but I’d known this was coming. Even so, my eyes slid shut and it felt like the universe had just rubber stamped my future with a big fat rejection of any chance of happiness. “Okay.”
“David still has to ask your father’s permission in front of both families, Jasmine,” Mom said gently. “Perhaps we can talk to him before the event. There’s still?—”
“No, there’s no hope, Mom.” I reopened my eyes. “Dad will say yes because this was partly his idea and he feels responsible for the Mahers. I’ll be ready.”
Without another word, I stepped around her and raced into the house as fast as my feet could carry me, brushing past Nanna on my way in. Surprisingly, she remained completely silent and that, more than anything else, confirmed that I truly had doomed myself.
Nanna always had so much to say, so if even she didn’t have an opinion or advice to offer, it could only mean one thing. My fate had been sealed.
Before the year was out, I would be married to a man I would never love, expected to have his children, and to spend the rest of my life being faithful to him, and the man I did love, the one I was doing this for, had disappeared.
Isaac Thayer was gone and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it now.