Chapter - 75
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Maa gently placed the tray on the side table, then came closer and cupped my face softly.
"What happened, Siya? Hmm? Did Aarav say something to you? I will—"
Before she could finish, I cut her off...
My voice barely above a whisper, shaky and unsure.
"Do... do you love me, Maa?"
Her eyes widened slightly, surprised by my sudden question.
"Is that even a question to ask?" she replied gently.
"Of course, I love my daughter."
But I wasn't done. I needed to ask, even if the answer scared me.
"Do you love me because... I'm Siya? Or do you love me because I'm Aarav's wife?"
She stared at me, her brows furrowing. "What's gotten into you, beta? Why are you asking such silly things?"
I dropped my eyes, playing with the edge of my dupatta. "I... I just wanted to know."
Maa sat me down on the bed, still holding my hand like I might break apart any second. Aarav didn't move from where he stood.
Maa spoke after a pause, her tone calm but honest.
"I met you for the first time as Aarav's wife.
.. so yes, I gave you the respect and love that you deserved as my daughter-in-law.
"
She smiled a little, brushing my hair behind my ear.
"But you, Siya... you made a place in my heart on your own.
Slowly, without even knowing it, you became my Siya.
And now... I love you even more than my Aarav. "
She smiled through her words and added, "So you tell me... do I love you because you're Aarav's wife? Or do I love you because you're my Siya?"
And just like that... my eyes welled up again.
I felt so guilty. So small. So ashamed that I doubted the person who had stood by me with such softness and truth. Without another word, I hugged her tightly, burying my face in her shoulder.
"I'm sorry," I whispered through tears. "I just..."
She held me gently, her hands warm and reassuring as she cupped my face and wiped away the tears again.
"Don't think too much, my baccha. Your heart is too pure to carry this weight."
Her eyes went to the untouched tea. She clicked her tongue softly.
"This tea is cold now. I'll go and bring a fresh one for you."
She leaned forward and kissed my forehead lovingly, and just before leaving, she gave Aarav's shoulder a light, knowing tap.
And then she walked out, leaving me behind... sitting there on the bed, holding back my tears.
Aarav was still standing there—just a few steps away. Watching me.
But I couldn't meet his eyes.
He started walking toward me again... maybe to say something, maybe to explain. But before he could even open his mouth—
I got up.
And walked straight into the bathroom.
I didn't look back.
Once the door was shut, I leaned against it and closed my eyes. My heart was aching. My mind was spinning. The water ran cold when I stepped under the shower... but it didn't wash away anything I was feeling.
Not the pain.
Not the confusion.
Not the questions.
Who killed my parents?
Why would someone do this?
What did they even get by ruining our family?
My fingers clenched into fists.
I remembered my dad's words—his voice so gentle, yet so strong.
"Be brave, princess."
And I whispered back, under my breath, "I will, Dadda. From now on... I'll be brave. I won't cry anymore. I'll find the truth. Whoever did this... I'll make sure they regret every breath they took after stealing my parents' last.
The pain inside me turned into something else.
Determination.
After the shower, I got dressed. A soft blush-pink Anarkali suit with delicate embroidery. The fabric felt light on my skin, and the sheer dupatta sat gently over my shoulder. I kept it simple... but I made sure I looked like me.
Not someone broken.
Just... quiet. And still healing.
When I walked back into the room, Aarav was already there. He looked up as soon as he saw me.
"You look..." he started to say something, but then stopped midway. His voice softened. "Siya... Dr. Arora is coming in a while. Don't go to college today."
My heart paused for a second.
I wanted to ask why. I wanted to ask what happened yesterday and what part of it was real and what was not.
But I didn't say anything.
Because if I spoke... if I looked into his eyes... I might fall apart. I might forgive too soon.
And I wasn't ready for that.
So I just walked past him. Silent. Careful. Holding everything inside.
I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't turn back.
I made my way to the kitchen. I needed to do something—anything—to keep myself from feeling too much again.
I needed to gather my broken pieces and turn them into strength.
I won't be someone broken. Not anymore.
I woke up to the sound of a loud cry—
"DADDDAA!!"
Before I could even think, I sat up straight and pulled her into my arms. Her whole body was trembling. She was breathing fast, lost in the panic of whatever dream had shaken her.
I held her tightly and whispered,
"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
For a second, she clutched me like I was the only thing keeping her from falling apart...
But then—
She suddenly pulled away.
Broke the hug.
Stepped out of the bed like my touch suddenly became something heavy, something painful.
Confused, I sat still and asked gently,
"What happened, jaan?"
But she didn't answer.
I moved a little, just to be closer. My hand slightly reached out, but before I could even touch her, she whispered—shaking, broken, and distant,
"Don't... don't come near me."
And then she ran.
Straight into the bathroom.
The sound of the door shutting was louder than I could handle.
It was like a slap to the chest.
I sat there, frozen.
For a moment, I didn't understand.
Or maybe... I didn't want to.
My Siya...
My angel.
My Rani sa... didn't even want me near her
It hurt more than I can explain. But I knew this wasn't her. Not really. She wasn't in her senses—not fully. Something from yesterday, something in her dream—it had triggered something deep.
I walked to the bathroom door slowly. My hand rested against the wood.
I kept my voice soft, low... begging.
"Siya... open the door, please baby. Talk to me."
"Siya, please... baby, open the door..."
But she didn't answer.
And she didn't open the door.
I stood there, waiting. I didn't move. I just stayed, hoping she'd say something. Hoping she'd let me in.
After a while, she finally came out.
Her face was blank, pale, like the light inside her was dimmed.
I reached out instinctively to hold her hand... but she stepped back. Like my touch would burn her.
I pulled my hand back and whispered again—soft and aching,
"Siya... please tell me, baby. What happened? Won't you tell your Avi?"
My voice didn't sound like mine. It sounded... desperate.
But she didn't say a word.
Just then, Maa walked in with tea. She looked at Siya with concern, but warmth too. I had only told her last night that Siya wasn't well, that I had called the doctor. Nothing else.
But what Siya asked her...
Even I didn't expect that.
Maa's face changed, just for a second. But she hid it quickly. Handled Siya gently, like only a mother could.
I stood there... helpless. Watching. Feeling like a stranger in my own room.
After a few minutes, Maa said she'd go get another cup of tea and left the room.
The silence after that was heavy.
I thought maybe now... we'd talk.
I took a slow step toward her, my eyes only on her face, trying to understand her pain.
But before I could even say her name—
She didn't look at me.
Not even once.
And then... she walked away
Back into the bathroom.
Without even looking at me.
My chest felt heavy.
She was right here, yet she felt miles away.
I called my PA without wasting a second.
"I want the CCTV footage from yesterday's party. In 30 minutes. No excuses," I ordered and cut the call.
I needed to know what happened. Something changed last night. Something I couldn't ignore anymore.
I wasn't in my senses after seeing her... lying on the bathroom floor under the cold shower, not moving.
And that's what broke me.
I grabbed my phone again and called Dr. Arora.
"Come to the Rathore palace Dr. Arora. It's urgent. Siya... she's remembering things. Dreams about her parents. And she's not herself."
I ended the call and leaned back on the sofa.
If Siya talks to a stranger more easily than to me—fine. Let it be. I'll accept that too. If it makes her feel better, I'll do whatever it takes.
Even if it hurts like hell.
Because her well-being comes first.
Always.
A little while later, the door opened. I turned around... and for a moment, I couldn't breathe.
She walked in, wearing a soft blush-pink Anarkali suit. Hair open, eyes low, lips trembling slightly. My angel. My Siya.
I wanted to say something. To tell her how beautiful she looked. To hold her. To hear her voice.
"You look..." I stopped mid-sentence.
What was the use of compliments when she couldn't even look at me?
I lowered my tone, softened my voice the best I could.
"Siya... Dr. Arora is coming in a while. Don't go to college today," I said gently.
She walked past me without a word. Without a glance.
Like I didn't exist.
I stood there, frozen. The silence she left behind was louder than any scream.
What happened to us?
The girl who once couldn't stop smiling around me... who found comfort in my arms... who used to call me "Avi" like it meant the world—now walks away from me like I'm a stranger.
We were never this distant. Not even the day she stepped into this palace as my bride. Not even when I first saw her in that temple with her payal's sound echoing in my heart.
And today...
She won't even meet my eyes.
Did I really lose her?
Forever?
I clenched my fists.
No.
I won't give up.
Because Siya isn't just my wife.
She's my world.
And I will fight for her.
Even if she pushes me away...
Even if it breaks me piece by piece... I'll stay.
During breakfast, I could feel his eyes on me. He kept watching... but I didn't look at him. Not even once. My heart was heavy, but I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes. Not today. Not when I was feeling this... lost.
After eating quietly, I got up, picked up my bag, and left the table. I had already told Granny—Dr. Arora—that we'd meet in the afternoon. I didn't tell him, though. I didn't need to.
Yes, maybe he brought her into my life. Maybe it was all part of his plan... but somewhere along the way, my bond with her became mine.
She listens to me. She doesn't force words out of me.
I need that.
I need someone to talk to about... them.
About my parents.
About the dreams.
About this ache that's been growing louder inside me.
I thought of Avi.
Just for a second.
But no. I won't talk to him.
I can't. Not yet.
I walked out and sat inside the car. My fingers were cold. My heart, colder.
The ride to college felt long. Even with all the silence.
When the lecture ended, Trisha came and asked with a smile,
"Let's go for coffee?"
I shook my head gently.
"I... I have to go home."
I didn't feel like talking. Didn't feel like pretending I was okay.
Lately, I've started doubting everything. Every person. Every smile.
What if... all the people around me are just parts of his plan?
Is any bond around me real?
I reached home, confused and tired. My thoughts loud.
Granny was already waiting for me. She smiled gently, just like always.
Before I could go to her, Maa came to me with a glass of juice.
"Here, beta. You didn't eat much in the morning."
I nodded, taking it silently, whispering a soft, "Thank you, Maa."
My throat was tight. She didn't notice... or maybe she did but chose not to say anything.
Then Granny said softly, "Shall we go, Siya?"
I just nodded.
And followed her to the room where we usually sit.
Granny gave me a soft smile as I sat in front of her on the couch. She placed the tray of toffees between us—something she always did, though I never really picked one.
"How are you, Siya?" she asked gently.
I gave her a tiny smile and nodded, "I'm fine."
But she didn't believe it. She tilted her head slightly, her eyes kind. "Are you really fine?"
I looked away for a second. My fingers started playing with the end of my dupatta. The truth was stuck somewhere in my throat.
After a moment, I whispered, "I... I don't know what to feel, Granny. I don't know what to think. My brain says something else... and my heart feels something completely different. I'm just confused... all the time."
Her hand gently touched mine. "Siya, whenever you are confused between your brain and your heart... always choose your heart. Because your heart knows what you truly want, what you really need."
Her words were soft... like a blanket on a cold night. But they made something heavy stir inside me.
She then began asking me a few light questions—about college, about my classes, if I was sleeping better or not. I answered quietly, not going too deep. She listened, like always, without rushing me.
Then, slowly, she brought up my parents.
"Siya, that dream you saw about your parents... do you want to talk a little more about it?"
The moment she said "parents," something inside me twisted. My chest felt tight, my breaths became short, and I could feel my hands tremble.
"I-I don't want to... please..." I said, my voice cracking.
Granny immediately reached for me. "Shhh... okay, no questions. Breathe, beta. Just breathe with me."
She counted softly with me. Inhale. Exhale. Again. Again. And slowly... the weight lifted a little.
Then, instead of continuing the session, she smiled and began telling me about her own college days. About how scared she used to be before every exam, and how she once forgot her principal's name during a speech.
I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
She didn't ask any more questions. She just sat there, being there. And somehow... that felt like enough.
When the session was about to end, she got up and adjusted her dupatta, saying, "I'll come again tomorrow. We'll go slow. One step at a time, okay?"
She was about to walk away when I stopped her, softly—almost in a whisper.
"Granny..."
She turned around.
"Please... don't tell Avi about what we talked today. Please."
She looked at me, eyes filled with understanding, and gently nodded.
"I promise, Siya. This is just between us."
I gave a tiny nod.
Because sometimes... you just need one person in the world to keep your feelings safe.