Chapter - 77
When we reached Siya's parents' house, I saw her eyes.
She was looking at every corner... touching things... like she was searching for pieces of her past.
That innocent child inside her... was fighting with the broken girl she had become now.
I brought her here because she needs to let it out. If she keeps it all inside, one day it will break her completely. I wanted her to talk, to scream, even to blame me. Anything was better than silence.
At first, she spoke a few things—broken words, half sentences—but then her breathing grew heavy.
"Siya... Siya! Listen to me, baby... breathe! Please, just breathe!" My voice cracked as I reached for her.
But before I could do anything more, she collapsed.
"Siya!" I caught her in my arms before she could fall. My heart felt like it had stopped. I carried her into the nearest room, laid her on the bed, and immediately called the medical team waiting outside.
Dr. Mehra came in with his team, immediately checking on her. I stepped back but my eyes never left her face.
After a few moments, he injected her and looked at me. "Rana sa, don't worry. She will wake up after a few hours."
I clenched my jaw. My hands curled into fists. "When will this stop, Mehra? Do you even understand how much she is suffering because of your stupid suggestions?"
"Rana sa—"
"Don't!" I cut him off, my voice sharp, cold, the way it always makes people step back. "Just tell me what I have to do. Tell me what I can do so she doesn't feel this pain anymore."
He lowered his head respectfully. "Rana sa, it is important. If Rani sa doesn't let her thoughts out, it can damage her mental health more. She needs this... even if it hurts right now. This is the only way."
I wanted to break something. Instead, I looked down at her small, fragile frame lying unconscious. After giving instructions, Dr. Mehra left.
I sat down beside her. My hand found hers... cold, delicate. I held it tight, though I didn't know if she'd allow me when she woke up.
I bent down and kissed her forehead softly.
"For me... your well-being comes first, angel," I whispered. "I can handle anything in this world. But not this distance. Not the look you give me... like I'm just a stranger."
My voice cracked, though I forced it low.
"Please, baby... talk to me. If you want, scream at me, hit me, punish me... but don't shut me out like this. I am your Avi. Only yours. I can't see you like this, Siya."
A tear slipped down my face before I could stop it. I brushed it away quickly. My angel didn't need to see me weak.
I tightened my grip on her hand.
"Everyone loves you because of who you are, Siya. Not because of me. Not because of your identity. How can you doubt yourself? You are Siya. That alone is enough for the world to love you."
I kept staring at her face, memorizing every line, every breath.
Maybe when she wakes up... she won't even give me the right to look at her like this.
But for now, she is here. With me. And I won't let go.
"Hide and seek!" I shouted, giggling as I ran across the room. Dadda closed his eyes and started counting, "One... two... three..."
I quickly slipped under the table, covering my mouth with both hands to stop my laugh. His heavy footsteps echoed, "Siya? Princess? Where are you hiding?"
He looked behind the sofa, inside the curtains, even opened cupboards. I could see his face—confused, worried. He sighed, "I lost, Siya... where are you?"
I couldn't stop my laughter anymore. I crawled out and hugged his legs from behind. "Dadda, I was here! Under the table."
He turned and his face softened, relief flooding his eyes. I kissed his cheek and said, "Don't be sad, Dadda. I'm here."
He lifted me in his arms, hugged me tight, and kissed my cheek. "I couldn't see you, princess... I got scared."
I giggled again. "Now it's your turn to hide. I'll count this time."
He laughed, ruffled my hair, and ran to hide. I closed my eyes, pressed my palms together, and counted loudly. "One... two... three... four..."
But when I opened my eyes at ten... everything was gone.
The house disappeared. I was in a dark forest.
"Dadda? Mom?" I screamed, running between the trees. My heart was pounding. "Where are you?" My little voice broke, and tears blurred my eyes. I searched everywhere, but there was no one. Only silence.
I fell to my knees, crying. "Don't leave me... please..."
And then... a warm hand held mine. I looked up—Avi. He was walking beside me, smiling. We laughed, we talked. My tears stopped. I held his hand tighter.
But slowly... his hand started slipping away.
"No... no, don't go!" I screamed, grabbing at him. But he was disappearing in front of me. My chest tightened. "Please, don't leave me alone! Please!"
And then... my eyes opened.
I gasped, my breaths heavy, and the first thing I saw was Avi. Sitting beside me. His big warm hand holding mine.
Without thinking, I threw myself into his arms and hugged him tightly. "Don't leave me alone... please... don't go..." My voice cracked, and I couldn't stop my tears.
He wrapped his arms around me, strong and protective. His hand moved gently on my back, his voice steady yet soft. "I will never, Siya. Never."
I pulled back just a little, enough to see his face. His hands cupped my cheeks. His eyes were steady, his voice deep.
"See? I'm here. I will never leave you, angel. Not in this life, not ever."
And before I could say anything, he kissed my forehead. My tears didn't stop, but I felt safe. He made me lie down on the bed gently.
But I didn't let go of his hand.
He didn't leave either. He came beside me, and I buried my face into his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
My arms tightened around him. I whispered, broken but certain, "Don't go..."
His embrace grew firmer, his chin resting on my head.
"Never," he said again.
And... my heart believed him.
Two days... and in these two days he didn't leave me even for a single moment. Not once.
And maybe... I didn't let him, either.
I didn't ask him anything, and he didn't tell me anything. We didn't talk much. But he stayed close. Close enough that I could hear his breath, feel his presence. And that... that was the only thing keeping me from breaking apart.
Granny came to see me. She held my hand so gently, but still.
.. I couldn't talk about Mom and Dadda with her.
My throat just closed.
Bhai called too.
His voice was warm, teasing like always.
But I couldn't speak more than a few words.
He said he will come this Sunday. I should have been happy, but.
.. I just felt empty.
Even Trisha came.
She smiled, she talked. But I didn't say much to her either. What would I even say?
I feel like... I forgot how to express things in words. And deep inside, I'm scared. What if my words hurt them? What if my actions do? So... I stayed in my room. Safe. Quiet.
But today, while sitting alone, I started thinking about everything I did in the past few days.
And guilt... guilt hit me like a storm.
How could I? How could I doubt my Avi?
I always said, "I love him." But is this really love?
Because if it was... I should have trusted him.
I should have asked him questions. I should have waited for his answers. But no... I shut him out completely.
And even then... he didn't leave me alone. He stayed.
I remembered Maa too. The way I even doubted her love, asked her such a silly, hurtful question. But she didn't make me feel small. She explained. She loved me, like always.
But Avi... the one person who can do anything for my smile... I hurt him the most. How could I do that?
My chest ached with guilt. I closed my eyes, holding back the tears. And then... I felt it.
Warmth. Strong arms wrapping around me from behind.
I didn't need to turn. I knew.
I knew it was him. My Avi.
My body just leaned back on its own, resting against him. For a moment, I let myself breathe.
His voice, low and calm, brushed against my ear.
"What are you doing here, angel? Let's go inside."
I swallowed hard. My lips parted but no words came, just a small sound.
"Hmm."
Without looking at him, without meeting his eyes... I moved inside. Quietly. My guilt pressed heavy in my chest, but still... my steps followed his.
Because no matter what my mind screamed... my heart still wanted to be near him.
When we came inside our bedroom, he made me sit on the bed. He sat down beside me, close enough that our shoulders brushed. His hands reached for mine, warm, steady... and he held them gently, like he was scared I might pull away again.
His voice was soft but serious.
"Siya baby, will you listen if I tell you something?"
I already knew what he wanted to say. My chest felt heavy, but still, I nodded.
"Hmm."
He took a deep breath before speaking.
"When I got your admission in college.
.. no one knew you were Siya Aarav Singh Rathore.
And I thought... maybe you'll need time to face the world as Rani sa of Rajasthan.
Karan was already working for me in the company, learning things.
.. and since you both were in the same college, I just told him to inform me if you faced any problem there. That's it."
My heart squeezed hearing his calm words.
He continued, his eyes searching mine.
"Because I thought.
.. you won't tell me or anyone if something bothered you in college.
And when I asked if you made friends, you told me about Trisha and Karan.
But I never told them to become your friends, Siya.
Trisha chose you. And Karan... he's her best friend, so naturally he became close to you too.
Trust me, baby... I never interfered in your friendships.
Siya... they are your friends because of you, jaan. Not because of me."
He paused for a moment before adding, his voice soft but serious.
"You never faced any problem, so he never told me anything, except about your dance performance.
.. and that too when he invited me as chief guest and I denied.
He just blurted out that you are performing.
I wanted to tell you this earlier, but Dr. Mehra advised me that I should tell you things in parts, not all at once.
That's why I didn't tell you before. I swear, I planned to tell you after the party.
Even Karan feels guilty for hiding it from you — he was telling me that he can't work for me anymore because he can't hide the fact that he knew before that you are my wife.
Baby... you misunderstood the whole thing. "
I stared at him, shocked, guilty... not knowing what to say.
His words pierced through me. All this time... I had doubted him. Doubted myself. Doubted the love of people around me. And yet, he never once got angry, never complained.
Tears spilled from my eyes before I could stop them. I threw my arms around him, holding him tightly, almost desperately.
In a broken voice I whispered, "I'm sorry, Avi. I'm so sorry..."
He rubbed my back slowly, soothingly.
"You don't have to... hmm." His voice was gentle, like he was scared to hurt me more.
But I didn't say anything after that. What could I even say?
Did my 'sorry' take away the pain... or was it too small against the weight of my mistake?
No... it didn't. And the guilt stayed, heavier than before.
I just hugged him tighter, afraid that if I let go... I would lose him.
Because no matter what... he is my Avi. My only Avi.
And I... I had hurt him the most.
The next morning, I woke up with guilt still heavy in my chest. The first thing I noticed was the silence. The room was empty, and I was a little late too. I hadn't gone to college in the last few days, but today I had no choice—I had to submit my assignment.
I dragged myself to the bathroom, took a quick shower, and got ready in my navy-blue floral Anarkali with palazzos and a dupatta. I wore my silver jhumkas and juttis, trying to look normal, though inside I didn't feel normal at all.
I was just about to step out of the room when Avi came in. He smiled softly.
"I was just about to wake you up," he said. "But you're already ready... I'll tell someone to bring our breakfast."
That's how it had been for the past two days—just the two of us eating alone. But today, something inside me didn't want that. Maybe I wanted to feel the warmth of family again, to feel like things were normal.
"Avi..." I whispered, hesitating for a second, "c-can we eat with everyone today?"
His eyes softened, and without a second thought, he said, "Of course. Whatever you want, Siya. Let's go."
Later, after coming back from college, I went straight into our room. My hands trembled as I locked the door behind me. I didn't have the courage to sit with everyone, to laugh like before... not after what I had done.
I sat down on the bed, clutching my dupatta. Will they ever forgive me? The people who stood by me, who supported me when I needed them the most... I had doubted them, doubted him.
A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it. I bit my lip, trying to hold it in, but once the first tear fell, the rest followed.
"I'm so stupid..." I whispered to myself. "Because of me... my Avi was hurt. I... I saw that painful smile of his, and I know I caused it. How can I ever forgive myself for that?"
My chest felt heavy, my thoughts running in circles. Maybe the fault is in me... maybe I don't deserve him. Not after doubting his love, his care. What if he never trusts me the same way again? What if I lose him because of my mistakes?
I buried my face in my hands, sobbing quietly. My heart ached, but more than that—it broke knowing I was the reason behind his pain. Hugging the pillow tightly, I let my tears soak into it, my voice trembling as a broken whisper slipped out—
"I'm sorry, Avi..."