Chapter 15 #2
“I am afraid there is more to it.” She began twisting her handkerchief. “She appears to have lost weight and is too pale.”
“Lizzy is so petite, how would you be able to tell?” Mr Gardiner chuckled but subsided when he noticed his wife did not laugh.
She just looked at him, her eyes narrowed. His wife’s stare was complete when her arms slowly crossed over her chest.
He raised his hands in surrender. “I surrender to the wise counsel of my beloved wife. What do you think might be wrong?”
Mrs Gardiner sighed, “I very much fear her heart has been lost.”
“But that is wonderful news! My sister will be overjoyed.”
“No, indeed. Edward, it is dreadful.”
Realising he missed an important piece of information, he took one of her hands and asked softly, “How so, my dear?”
“I fear she lost it to Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy.”
He could not reply and still holding hands, they shared a look of heartfelt concern.
~ / ~
Elizabeth was preparing once again for a ball.
This would be the last one of the Season for her, as no other invitations were anticipated.
She examined her reflection in the mirror, comparing the difference in her appearance now, to many weeks ago.
She was heart-sore considering what would probably be her last dance with Darcy–the man she now loved and admired greatly.
His transformation from proud and disdainful, to warm and engaging, was complete, at least to her mind. However, she did not dare dream he had changed so much, as to allow himself to offer for a country girl, with little to her name but her charms.
Who could have imagined Elizabeth falling for the one man who would never have her. She sighed. With one last look, she slowly rose and smoothed the skirt of her gown. She was ready for another evening of frivolity, in her person, if not in her heart and soul.
Darcy entered the ballroom at a brisk pace. He had been detained, and was just arriving at the ball he was confident Elizabeth was also to attend.
He edged a path into the crowded ballroom. His only aspiration for the evening was to dance with Elizabeth–Miss Bennet.
First, he searched the dance floor, but he could not see her among the throng of dancers. Then, he looked for the Gardiners, or any of the young people Elizabeth enjoyed speaking with.
Finally, he saw her on the dance floor. She was in a dress of pale lilac, its simple elegance showing her to perfection.
He never understood the ladies who wrapped themselves in yards of lace, ribbons and beads, as if they had something to compensate for.
Miss Bennet’s dress had tiny pleats crossing over her bosom; while modest, it drew his eye to the generous flesh beneath it.
He swallowed, hard. His chest gripped tight, seeing how she was smiling at her partner.
Her fine, brown eyes were alight with her natural, effervescent joy.
When the dance ended, he tracked the couple as her dance partner escorted her to the side of the dance floor.
He quickly followed, determined to reach her before the next set.
Try as he might, the mass of people proved too much of an impediment.
He could only look on as Captain Fitzwilliam took her hand and they joined the couples lining up for the next set.
He fought the urge to stamp his foot. He kept her in sight throughout the dance.
A smile softened his face, as he watched her delight in the dance.
At one point, he was sure she saw him, though he could not understand the appearance of unease, which flickered momentarily, replacing her expression of pleasure in the dance.
This time, when the dance ended, he was closer and managed to intercept them.
“Darce!” Captain Fitzwilliam clapped him on the shoulder. “When did you arrive?”
“A dance ago. Miss Bennet,” Darcy bowed, “My apologies for being late. May I have the pleasure of a dance this evening?”
Elizabeth’s answer was subdued, “I am sorry, sir. All my dances are spoken for.”
At first, he did not understand. Not her words, nor her demeanour. “I see. Well, perhaps I can escort you to get some punch.”
“I thank you, no. I am not thirsty. Pray excuse me.” She curtseyed and he watched her join her uncle and aunt.
“Cousin,” Captain Fitzwilliam smirked. “Did you anger Miss Bennet again?”
“No! Of course not. I have barely seen her these past two weeks.” He still had not taken his eyes off her retreating form.
“You must have done something. She was well during our dance.” Captain Fitzwilliam left him, saying he needed to find his next partner.
Darcy stood alone and watched Elizabeth. And he watched her. Dance after dance, she twinkled and laughed, seeming to enjoy every new partner.
Here and there he caught her eye, and it was like a shutter coming down, dimming her light. The shift was fleeting, then she would smile at her partner again.
He had not prevaricated with his cousin. Elizabeth had not been to Darcy House recently, and he missed her happy presence and witty banter. He found himself looking for her every time he entered the music room. Day or night, she was never far from his thoughts.
But as he watched her dance and shine her brilliance down on other men, he felt a band tighten around his chest, and his throat constricted.
He pulled at his cravat to ease the tightness and get more air into his lungs.
Watching her was excruciating. Seeing her dancing so happily with different gentlemen was… was…
Jealousy.
Good lord.
He grew dizzy and moved to lean against the nearest pillar. All the times they spent together flashed through his thoughts. Her smile. Their debates. That chess game.
His despondency the past couple of weeks without her. He groaned.
You are a dunderhead!
~ / ~
Darcy left the ball to clear his head and returned home. He was so distracted anyone might have compromised him.
Elizabeth. Somehow over the past weeks, he had fallen in love with her. The feelings came on so slowly he could not say when they had begun.
That he greatly admired and respected her, there was no doubt. He admitted to being captivated by her beauty from the first moment he saw her. Her intelligence, and gift for witty conversation fascinated him.
Somewhere between overcoming his pride and spending time with Elizabeth, he had fallen into a deep, profound kind of love.
Now he understood his heart and found Elizabeth firmly situated within. He could not imagine sharing his life with any other woman. And to think he would have settled for a Ton marriage.
Until this moment, I never knew myself.
Darcy wanted to run home and crawl into bed. Nay, he wanted to return to the ballroom and demand all her dances, and to have those sunshine smiles bestowed on him, and him alone.
He stopped short. What if she did not feel the same way?
The tightness around his chest and throat began again.
He could not bear it if she held nothing but friendship for him.
Perhaps this was the reason for her altered disposition?
What if she perceived my feelings and is attempting to let me down gently?
He raised both hands to his head and grabbed at his hair, fisting bunches of it and pulling. How would he survive if she only ever wished to be his friend?
Her former opinion of his character had been unfavourable, and rightly so. Had he changed enough to win her regard?
He needed a plan.