Chapter 4
Declan
The beautiful blonde has a kid… and she’s my neighbor.
Two curveballs I did not see coming. I was organizing all my stuff when I heard voices in the hall.
I guess I should have looked through the peephole instead of jumping the gun at opening the door because the last person I expected to see was the woman from the coffee shop.
Penny.
A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.
I also didn’t expect her to have a kid, especially one that old.
Penny looks young, so she must have had Autumn when she was still a teenager.
I’m not sure. But any interest I had in the beauty next door just went out the window because I steer clear of anyone who has kids or wants them.
It’s unfortunate because I wouldn’t have minded having a benefits type of situation with my gorgeous neighbor, but it’s probably for the best. You shouldn’t shit where you eat, I think that’s how the saying goes.
I’ll be cordial to them when we run into each other because it’s bound to happen, but I definitely don’t see myself becoming friends with the two. Acquaintances, maybe, but nothing more.
The kid was kind of funny, though. Her blatant honesty and quick quips had me laughing when I least expected it. Her face and eyes are all her mom's, but her hair is dark brown, and her skin is more olive-toned. Which begs the question, where’s her dad, and why isn’t he in the picture?
It’s none of my business, and I’m not that curious, but the two are living alone in an old ass building with zero security measures besides a simple lock on the door. It doesn’t exactly scream safe to me.
But like I said, it’s none of my business.
I spend the next little while continuing to organize my stuff, and before I know it, my phone goes off, signaling a text from Pen.
We decided it would be fine to exchange numbers a few weeks back, and I put her text signal as a different tone than the rest of my friends.
I haven’t heard from her all day, despite messaging her earlier in the afternoon, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to chat with her tonight.
Pen: Hey, serious question…
Me: Oh no, I thought we had an unspoken rule about serious conversations. Meaning we don’t have them. Tisk tisk.
Pen: I’m rolling my eyes at you. Real talk, though… please.
Me: Okay… shoot.
Pen: Is your full name Declan?
Me: It is…
Pen: Walk out your front door.
What the hell? I reread her message because now I’m confused. I look to my front door and then back down at her request.
No.
No. Fucking. Way.
Pen… as in Penny? There’s no way the universe is this cruel. I just got done telling myself I wasn’t going to be friends with my new neighbors when, in fact, I’m now ninety-nine percent sure I’m already friends with the oldest of the duo.
I slowly make my way to the door and look through the peephole. Penny has her door open and is leaning against the doorframe, watching her phone.
I don’t want this to be true, but I have to face the music. I’ve never been good with confrontation, and now is not the time to chicken shit out of this mess.
The woman I’ve come to know and look forward to speaking to every day is my new neighbor, whom I just deemed completely off-limits.
I always wondered what Pen would look like, and now that I do, my mind didn’t do her justice.
It’s some kind of cosmic fate that we ended up here, and I’m not sure what to do.
But I man up and open my door. Penny’s head whips in my direction. I’m not proud, but the first thing I notice is her smooth, golden tan legs.
“Are you wearing pants?” I blurt out because her sweatshirt is so long that it doesn’t look like she’s wearing anything underneath it.
She looks down and then pulls it up slowly. I hold my breath, and a moment later, little blue shorts appear. Thank God for that.
I push away the part of me that wishes there was nothing underneath the oversized sweatshirt. That she was going to give me a private show. But that’s not what I’m here for, and I shove it to the back of my head before I get any more ideas.
“Sorry,” she says, “I’m headed to bed soon.”
I nod and massage the back of my neck. “When did you figure it out?”
“At the coffee shop.” She points to my neck. “Your tattoos gave you away. And when you said your name was Declan, the math added up.”
I don’t say anything because I’m honestly in shock that my Pen is here in front of me right now.
She looks down at her sock-covered feet, avoiding my gaze. “You’re different than what I thought you’d be.”
I stay silent for a beat longer before I finally think of something to say. “How so?”
Her baby blues look back up, and she waves a hand in my direction. “Just less… Dec. And more… Declan.”
Surprisingly, I get what she’s trying to say. I joke around with Pen, and with Penny, I can’t seem to form a sentence. I guess I feel more comfortable over text because I don’t have people judging me for anything but my personality.
It’s just very surreal now that I know Pen is Penny and vice versa.
I should have put two and two together, though.
It makes sense. I just never expected my gorgeous neighbor to be my pen pal or have a child, and now that I know who Pen is and what her life really looks like, I have the urge to fuck her on the spot, but at the same time, tell her I can’t be friends with someone who has a kid.
Call it dramatic, but kids are a hard pass for me. Friend or not, I just… can’t.
Her voice pulls me out of my thoughts. “Look, I didn’t want to end the day without you knowing that I know who you are.
This isn’t some romance novel where the couple has secrets and doesn’t say anything until eighty percent of the book, and then they break up.
” Her eyes widen at the metaphor, and she has a mini freak-out.
“Not that we’re a couple or anything. Because we aren’t.
But we’re friends. I think. Or not anymore.
I don’t really know. Anyway, we’re two grown adults, and I thought you should know that I know who you are. No secrets.”
I nod my head. “I appreciate it.” And I do.
Nothing worse than knowing you befriended a liar.
She’s still the same person that I’ve been talking to for months, but I’m just not sure I’m in the headspace to keep talking to her like I have been.
I don’t date or befriend people who have kids…
ever. It’s a hard limit for me. And as beautiful as she is, I don’t have a clue as to how to navigate this now, knowing we’re going to see each other a lot probably.
“Right,” she says and pushes a stray strand of hair that escaped her messy bun behind her ear. “I’ll let you get back to… whatever you were doing in there. And maybe I’ll talk to you later?” She leaves the question open-ended.
I nod back at her. “Sure. Later.” That’s all I say to her, and it’s a shit response. But my mind is still trying to catch up with this new revelation. I’ll have to message her when I get my head on straight and figure out what the next step is in our friendship.
She gives me a small smile and turns to shut herself inside her apartment, and I turn towards mine as well.
“Hey, Declan.” I turn my neck to look at her angelic face. “How was the move? Was it okay?”
Genuine interest laces her features, and I relax because this is the girl I’ve come to know. She’s funny but asks the small questions, which are the big ones.
I smile and nod. “It was good, Pen.”
Right before I turn back around, her smile broadens, and she bites her plump bottom lip.
I am so fucking screwed.
~ ~ ~
After the events of yesterday, I spent time drawing in my studio and then crashed hard.
My brain is still reeling at the fact that Penny is Pen.
My new neighbor. Do I keep texting her? Or do I ignore her completely?
We didn’t message after our confrontation on the landing last night, and for some reason, that irks me.
I felt like I could be myself when we messaged each other, but now that she’s seen me out in the wild, she has firsthand knowledge of how different I am in person.
I’ve been called an asshole by people who don’t know me, and I can’t blame them.
I’ve gotten good at shutting my emotions off around strangers because of how I was raised, and I’ve become more closed off the older I get.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Penny thought I was an asshole, too because I now realize I only spoke a total of maybe ten words to her and haven’t yet apologized for being so curt at the coffee shop.
Now is as good of time as ever to send her an apology text.
Me: Good morning. I just want to say I’m sorry about yesterday. For the coffee shop and on the landing. Words kind of escape me sometimes, and I know I came off as a dick. You kind of caught me off guard, though.
Penny: Morning. I’m sorry too. For calling you a Viking…and a caveman…and large.
Me: I forgot about the caveman comment. You’re not too far off, though.
Penny: Are you always that… quiet? Or was it just for me?
Me: I’m pretty much always that quiet.
Penny: Darn. I thought I was special.
Me: Lol. Nope. You’re just one of many who get the silent treatment.
Penny: Ouch. (I’m clutching my heart). I thought I was your friend. We bonded.
Me: You were. Or are? I’m not sure.
Penny: I know you’re in the middle of opening a business and trying to get yourself settled…
Why don’t we put our chats on hold? Get used to the idea that we’re neighbors.
I don’t want to make this any more awkward than it already is, and I think we’re both out of our depth here.
It might be best if we take some time off from each other.
Me: You’re right. It’s probably for the best.
Penny: Well, if you ever need anything, you know where to find me. I guess I’ll see you around?
Me: Yeah. I’ll see you around.
She’s right. I need to focus on opening the shop and getting myself settled in.
Having some time to think about how our friendship will play out will do us some good.
I’m not exactly itching at the bit to get involved with a single mom anyway, even if it’s just platonic.
I would never tell Penny that because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but it’s the one hang-up of mine that won’t ever go away.
Kids and I just don’t mix.
And I won’t ever change my mind about it.
But then why did my heart instantly fall as soon as Penny suggested taking a break?