Chapter 20
Declan
The zoo was a hit today. By the time we left, Autumn was dead on her feet.
Her excitement was everything I hoped it would be.
I haven’t gotten to spend much alone time with Penny in the past few weeks, but I thought this would be fun for all of us to do.
I convinced Lucas to get passes too and it turned out to be one of the best days I’ve had in a while.
Once we get back to Daybreak, Jordan and Lucas head back to his place, and Penny, Autumn, and I head upstairs to the apartments.
“Do you want to have dinner with us?” Penny asks as I say, “I bought frozen pizzas for dinner.”
Penny folds her lips in, so she doesn’t crack a smile, and I let out a chuckle. “I can bring the pizza over if you want to do dinner together?”
Autumn fist pumps the air and Penny nods. I head into my apartment to grab the plain cheese pizza and the pepperoni pizza I bought earlier. When I let myself into Penny’s apartment, Penny is racing around, trying to pick up loose items strewn about.
“Sorry. It’s a mess,” she calls out as she tosses toys into Autumn’s room.
I set the pizzas on the countertop and turn her oven on, making sure she hasn’t stashed any pots or pans inside of it.
“Penny. Just stop,” I turn and tell her. She gives me a tight-lipped smile as she gathers a few pieces of garbage and makes her way to the trash under the sink.
“I’ve been busy at the shop and got lazy this week–”
I pull her into my arms and give her a bear hug. She sighs before wrapping her arms around my waist, and her shoulders visibly lower. “Your home is perfect,” I tell her honestly. It’s not even messy like she said it was. “You go sit, or do… whatever, and I’ll get the pizzas in the oven.”
She lets out a breath and nods. “I’m going to give Autumn a quick bath.” And she throws a thumb over her shoulder.
I turn her by her shoulders and swat her ass for good measure. She yelps but just grins at me.
That was purely for my benefit. Every time I see her, I want to push her against the wall and fuck her senseless.
Our hands and mouths aren’t cutting it anymore.
It doesn’t help that she gets more beautiful every day, too.
I’m going to have to extend this whole friends with benefits situation since we haven’t actually gotten to fuck but for the one time.
I shouldn’t complain, though. It’s been nice just being around the girls for any period of time in the past few weeks.
I have something to look forward to, and that alone is worth its weight in gold.
I have friends, sure, but nobody I am excited to see as soon as they’re in my presence.
The girls have become a staple in my everyday life, and if I don’t get to see them, I get a little antsy.
On top of it all, Autumn has been leaving drawings taped to my door. It’s been the highlight at the end of my workday, coming home from the shop, anticipating what her little imagination has come up with. More often than not, she draws a picture of three people: her, Penny, and me.
I check my notifications while the oven pre-heats and then put my phone away.
I look around her apartment and notice all the pictures on the wall in the living room.
There are baby photos, selfies, and some professional photos, too.
One of my favorites is of Penny swinging Autumn around, and the matching laughter they have on their faces.
This is a gallery of their life together, and it’s like I’m getting a front-row seat to the reel.
We had something similar to this in my house growing up, but it wasn’t nearly as captivating.
Ours were more of the Stepford family type photos, not the outgoing, loving family photos you see here.
What Kate and I wouldn’t give to have had even one loving parent growing up, but that wasn’t in the cards for us.
Instead, we had to lean on each other. It shatters me to reminisce on the fact that I abandoned her in that house to deal with our parents alone.
I should have done better. I should have figured out a way to take her with me.
But I was so hell bent on getting out and making my own way that Kate got left behind in the process.
The oven’s pre-heat timer sounds, and I shake off the terrible feelings of the past. I put the pizzas in, set the timer, and then go wait on the couch.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tired.
Five-year-olds know how to rally and I have a feeling I’m going to be sore from all the walking and carrying I did, despite working out daily.
Fifteen minutes go by, and the girls finally emerge from the hallway.
Both have changed into mint green, silk-matching pajama sets that have ice cream cones on them. “Do you like?” Autumn asks, and I smile at her and nod.
“You look great.”
Autumn beams and Penny shakes her head with a grin. They look adorable when they match, like mother like daughter.
When the timer for the pizza goes off, we settle in at the coffee table in the living room and put on a kids’ movie.
Autumn is half asleep by the time she’s done eating, and Penny tells her, “Let’s go brush our teeth, baby girl, and get you to bed.”
“Can Dec read me a story?” Autumn asks.
“Oh, no, baby. He ca–”
“I’ll read you a story,” I interrupt Penny.
Penny’s gaze shoots to mine and I shrug. It’s not a big deal to read her a book. It was probably one of my favorite things to do with Kate when she was little because it was the only time she was calm. Her extroverted personality that you see today was much worse when we were kids.
Autumn beams and Penny pushes her towards the hallway. “Teeth first.”
When Autumn disappears into the bathroom, Penny turns to me. “You don’t have to read her a book. It’s been a long day, and you’ve already done so much.”
“It’s fine, Penny. I don’t mind.” She doesn’t look too sure, but I tell her, “We’ll read to her together.”
“Can I lie between the both of you?” Autumn asks once she’s done brushing her teeth.
“Why don’t I just sit on the floor?” I tell her as we enter her room. The drawings of the unicorns I did are right above her bed, and my heart smiles at the thought that she loved them so much she wanted them displayed.
“Please.”
I look to Penny, who shrugs her shoulders.
Autumn has been attached to me at the hip all day and doesn’t hesitate to grab my hand and pull me to the side of the bed.
Penny and I tuck Autumn under the covers, and we climb on top to lean against the headboard.
Penny immediately grabs a familiar book off the nightstand with a cat in a hat, and we take turns reading.
By the time we’re done with the book, Autumn is leaning against me, fully asleep.
I slowly lay her down flat on the bed, and Penny moves to kiss Autumn’s cheek and whisper goodnight in her ear. Right before we’re about to leave the room, Autumn says, “I love you, Dec.” And rolls over.
Penny and I freeze and look at each other.
Did she really just say that? I know she said something along those lines at the zoo, but I didn’t want to read too much into it.
I was already having some type of feeling about how the woman called Penny my wife and Autumn my daughter.
But now that she said it again, I can’t believe the little girl I so easily wrote off just told me she loves me.
It’s been so long since I took care of Kate, and I was so scarred from not being able to protect her from our parents, I forgot how trusting and loving children are.
They don’t have conditional love. They freely give it to the people whom they deem fit.
And for Autumn to say she loves me, just broke off another piece of the armor I have over my heart.
When Penny and I get back into the kitchen, neither of us says a word. Instead, we silently clean up our dinner and work around each other until the kitchen is spotless.
“Hey, Declan?” Penny asks as I put the last of the food into the fridge.
“What’s up?” I ask as I turn back around.
She bites her bottom lip and fidgets with her sleeves. “Do you want to stay for a bit?”
Does she mean to hang or to hang? I walk to where she’s standing and stop so close to her that she has to crane her neck to look up at me. “What are you asking?”
She licks her lips and grabs onto one of my hands. She starts to walk backward, toward the hallway. “I want you.”
I easily follow her down the hallway and into her room. She locks the door behind us, and I clear my throat before asking, “Will Autumn wake up?”
She shakes her head. “No. She sleeps like the dead.”
I don’t know what the rush is, but as soon as she says those words, we both start stripping ourselves down until we’re naked. Our movements are frantic, and my only thought right now is how fast I can get Penny underneath me.
We reach for each other at the same time, and I haul her into my arms, so she has to wrap her legs around my waist. I curl my fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck and bring her mouth to meet mine in a searing kiss.
Her arms wrap around my shoulders, and we taste each other like we’re starving.
Her tongue battles with mine, and she tastes like she was made for me.
Like I want to drown in her essence and never let go.
It feels like forever ago that we made out on her parents' front porch, and I hate the fucking rule she made about kissing. I suck her bottom lip into my mouth, and she whimpers as I pull away. I crane her neck to the side, so I have access to her throat, and I suck on her skin, not caring if I mark her. I want everyone to know that she’s taken. That she’s mine.
“Declan,” she breathes, “we aren’t supposed to kiss.”
I move to her ear and suck her lobe into my mouth. “It’s a shit rule and you know it,” I growl. Because if we’re only going to be having sex a few times before the five months are up, I’m getting all she’s worth.