Chapter 2 - Janella
“I’m leaving for the day, Scott.” I paused at my boss's door as I put on my jacket.
He leaned back in his chair and offered me a smile. “Alright, see you tomorrow. Great work today. You really outdid yourself during that presentation.”
I blushed at the compliment, my mind traveling back to the meeting we had this afternoon.
We had a big client come in, and Scott wanted me to run the meeting.
I thought I’d done a decent job, but I knew there had been problems. I was worried I’d screwed it all up.
But the client signed on because of how easy it was to talk to me and how I handled everything.
Even when our computer failed, I remained calm.
I pushed the door open and stepped outside. It was drizzling outside, and the wind blew. But I embraced the cold. I couldn’t help but smile.
It was my four-year anniversary since I’d left the pack. I’d worked my ass off to get where I was, and I couldn’t believe how far I’d come. It hadn’t been easy. The first few weeks were debilitating. I missed my parents and my brother. I missed sitting with them and feeling safe.
I had nothing but the clothes on my back and the money I’d saved. Mom offered to help me figure things out, but I’d told her I'd already figured them out. I didn’t want them to know the truth about everything.
So, I’d found myself a crummy little apartment and spent endless hours working at a diner across town. During my free time, I was online, searching for a lasting career. I hadn’t wanted to go to school, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life.
I’d had plenty of setbacks. My car broke down, and I had to start walking to work for months. My apartment got broken into, and I knew it was a sign I needed to move. I left the diner and found a cleaning job at the school.
But things got better. I saved enough money for a down payment on a two-bedroom apartment that had security. It was big with lots of space. I moved in feeling that finally things were starting to come together.
I left the school and started working at a tech company that sold computers. I worked the front desk and slowly worked my way up to executive assistant to the CEO. Scott wasn’t what you expected. He was a gentleman with class and respect.
It had been four long, brutal years, but I’d made it.
I’d pulled myself from the dirt and felt like I belonged.
I had a beautiful home that was mine. I had amazing friends who were great.
A perfect job with an understanding boss.
I didn’t have a man in my life, but I was okay with that. I didn’t even know if I wanted one.
I headed over to my car, which was parked in our private parking.
It wasn’t a fancy car, but it was nice. It was only two years old, still shiny.
I hopped inside and turned the heat on. I warmed my hands and looked over at the little picture that hung on my review mirror.
It was a family picture of us all. Mom was squeezing me tightly, kissing my cheek.
I was wearing my graduation robe. Troy held my shoulder, a big grin on his face.
Dad was next to him, smiling bigger than I knew possible.
Little did they know that the girl was dropping a bomb on them twenty minutes later.
She would be leaving in a few days and would never come back.
We looked so happy, and that little picture pushed me. I never wanted to be here again. Faking that happiness, feeling like I was suffocating, and never being able to be honest with my family. I missed them dearly, but I couldn’t go back.
Suddenly, my phone started to ring. I glanced at my car screen, seeing Mom pop up. I smiled and clicked answer. “Hi, Mom.”
“Janella. Oh, I’m glad I got you. I was expecting to get your voicemail again.” Her soft voice filled the car, and it was like she was right there next to me.
“I got off work early today.” I grabbed my belt and buckled myself in. “I'm sorry I didn't call the other night. I was working late.”
“Oh, that's okay. I know things come up. You still like everything? You happy there?”
I nodded even though she couldn’t see it. “I am. How are you and Dad doing?”
“Oh, we’re good. Your father finally ripped that dead tree out of the ground in the backyard. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw the hole.”
I smiled, pulling out of my parking spot. “You going to plant a new tree?”
“I’m sure, but first we need to go and buy a shit ton of dirt.” The space fell quiet for a moment, and I knew what was coming. “We miss you. You should come down and visit.”
My stomach clenched, and I chewed on my cheek. I hadn’t come home once since I left. They came down to visit me, but not as often as either of us would like. Mom was proud of where I was, but I could see it in her eyes that she wished I’d stayed.
“I don’t have time for a trip right now, Mom.
” It was the same excuse that I always used.
At first, I didn’t have money. Then I had other excuses.
I’m painting the living room this month.
I’m working on getting that promotion that’s being opened.
I’m remodeling my kitchen. Then it landed on I don’t have time.
The silence stretched for a moment. “Honey, I know you had a hard time growing up, but don’t you think it’s time to try and push past that? It’s been four years.”
I came to a stop at a light. “That’s not what this is, Mom.”
“I know what this is, Janella. I understand things were rough in high school, and you didn’t feel that you belonged. But you're not in high school anymore. You're an adult, and everything is different.”
I sighed, not in the mood to argue with her. “Mom, it’s not that simple.”
“But it is. You have cut us all out of your lives, and you didn’t even care.”
I felt my jaw drop at her words. I stumbled over my words trying to tell her she was wrong. She wasn’t. I’m sure that is what it felt like for them. And parts of me wish things were different.
But how could I ever fit in that pack when I was a human? No one was going to accept me. And I had dragged my family down enough by being there.
“Mom, I have to go.” I ended the call feeling tears build up. I gripped the steering wheel tightly and sniffled. I could see the screen lit up again as she tried to call back, but I let it go to voicemail.
I arrived home and parked in the underground parking.
I took the elevator up and headed to my apartment.
I unlocked the door and flicked the light on.
My kitchen was to the left of me. It was a long L-shaped kitchen with an island.
There was pendant lighting and a wall of windows next to the fridge.
There was a step down into the living room that I had colored a light pink.
The furniture was purple and blue. I had a large purple fuzzy rug and several large plants in the space.
I had a large deck, and I smiled at it. There was wicker furniture out there with strung-up lights. It was my own little paradise.
I set everything down and made myself dinner. I kept glancing at my phone, feeling my stomach dip every time. I hated fighting with my mother. I knew she was hurting and just missed me. And maybe it was childish to feel this anger after so many years. But it wasn’t that simple.
I made myself a cup of tea and went to sit outside. I watched the rain fall as I curled up in my egg chair and stared at the city.
I looked down at my phone and clicked play on my mother’s voicemail.
She sighed. “I didn’t mean that, honey. I know you're hurting and that things aren’t easy for you because you're human. I know that there are things none of us will be able to relate to. And god…I know I don’t know the full extent of what happened while you were here.
Maybe that’s what upsets me most. You didn’t trust your father and me to help more. ”
The space fell quiet for a moment, and I bit my cheek.
“But we love you no less than we love your brother. You both have made us so proud. And I just wish that one of these days you’d be able to move past your anger and come home because this is home, Janella.
I know you made a life there and you're happy. But this is where you grew up. This is where your family is. I’m just waiting for you to realize that. ”
The voicemail ended, and I looked up at the stars. I let go of the breath I’d been holding in and watched the puff of air go.
I opened my chat and sent her a quick “I love you” message before heading back inside and going to bed. I hoped tomorrow would be a better day.
I arrived at work in the morning. I had my coffee, and I’d gotten the best parking spot there was. My day was starting off great.
“Janella.” The receptionist stopped me. “There’s a man in the conference room waiting for you.”
My eyebrows went up, and I turned. I wasn’t expecting anyone. “Did you get a name?”
She shook her head. “No, but he’s pretty handsome. I might have been a little busy looking him over to ask for a name.”
I headed for the conference room and pushed the door open. I took in a tall man with a muscular back. He was wearing a leather jacket with jeans. I didn’t think a client would come in looking so dressed down. Much less someone who would come in at such an early time.
“Can I help you?” I let the door shut behind me as I stepped further in. The man turned, and my body stiffened. Because standing across from me wasn’t a client, but Riley.
He’d changed from the last time I saw him. He had shorter hair that was slightly curled. His shoulders seemed broader, and he was taller. But I could already tell he was still the same arrogant asshole he was in high school. He stood the same way and gave me a cocky smile.
I ground my teeth together as rage built up in my belly.”Riley. What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you.”
I ground my teeth together. “And what the hell makes you think I want to talk to you?”
“Because I came here to talk about the pack.”