Chapter 19 - Riley #2
I walked a few feet in and scanned the space.
“I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry. I just...
” I was utterly terrified. I didn’t know what our future looked like, what the future of the pack looked like, and it scared me.
I didn't want to think about her trying to leave. I couldn't stomach the thought.
“Janella, please. I didn’t mean to talk to you like that. I shouldn’t have spoken that way. I just...I know something is going on.”
I walked a couple more meters into the woods. I paused when I heard whimpering.
“Janella…” It twisted my heart up knowing I was causing her pain. “Please, just…come out. Come and talk to me.”
I kept going until I spotted her leaning forward on a tree. I hurried after her. “Janella.”
The closer I got, the more I could hear her crying and saying something. I paused as I got behind her and smelled blood.
“I was being careful…”
“What? Janella, are you bleeding?”
She looked over her shoulder at me, looking paler than before. I scanned her, not seeing any blood or cuts, so I didn’t understand the confusion. But I could smell that tangy smell in the air.
“Janella…What’s wrong?”
Her lower lip quivered, and more tears started to burst free. “I’m bleeding.”
“Where?”
She looked down, and then I saw it. There was blood on her jeans between her thighs. I frowned. “Well…. sweetie, it’s probably your period.”
And then it clicked. If it had been her period, she wouldn’t be crying. Which meant it was something else.
I moved, grabbing her and hoisting her off the ground. She gripped onto me as I turned us, hurrying back into the town. I was practically running as I hurried her back to the infirmary. Her entire body was shaking with each step I took.
Was she pregnant? What was she hiding from me? Why hadn't she told me?
The women were quick, taking her back to a private room. I paced in the lobby, shaking my head. How had I missed it? How had I read the signs so incorrectly?
We’d had sex. We’d had sex several times and never used protection. A part of me figured she might be on something, since she never brought it up. If she had, I would have brought condoms.
I ran a hand over my face. “Jesus…”
I owed her a better apology. Flowers. A new phone. Anything. Here I was yelling at her in the middle of the town about her leaving when she was probably trying to figure things out. She was probably panicking about this information.
I just wish she’d told me. Why hadn’t she told me?
“Riley?”
I turned as Sherry stood just behind me. She offered me a small smile. “She’s ready if you want to come back.”
I nodded and headed back. Janella was lying on a bed with some blankets thrown over her. She was rubbing her fingers together as I came in.
“She’s healed. But she will need to stay in bed rest for a couple of days to let everything settle. We caught this early and fixed it with magic, but with how the baby grows, we can’t do it again.”
“Baby?” I looked between Sherry and Janella. Sherry’s eyes widened, and she looked at Janella.
“You didn’t tell him?” Sherry whispered to her.
Janella slowly shook her head. “Not yet.”
“Well…I’m going to slip out in the hall and question my life.” Sherry offered me a small smile before slipping out, shutting the door behind her.
I swallowed as hundreds of questions filled my head. “When did you find out?”
She chewed on her lower lip. “About two weeks ago.”
I frowned. “You’ve known for two weeks?”
She looked down, refusing to meet my gaze. I sighed, moving closer to pull a chair up to her. I took her hands. “I just…why didn’t you tell me?”
Her fingers were tight against mine. “You already have so much on your plate. I didn’t want to add to it. I'd been meaning to, but I kept chickening out.”
My heart twisted at her words. “Add to my plate, Janella. This isn’t you helping at the infirmary or looking for the cauldron. This is a child. Our child.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I was trying to think of a way to tell you. I didn’t want you to be mad or to stress about it.”
I squeezed her hands. “I’m not mad about this. I’m hurt you didn’t come to me.”
“I just…” She wiped at her eyes. “We already are afraid for the pack, and adding a baby into that mix is like adding fuel to a fire. A baby is so much more of a responsibility.”
“This baby is a blessing, Janella.” I cupped her face. “We didn’t plan it, but it’s still a blessing.”
“Are you just saying that to make me feel better?”
I shook my head. “No. If anything, this just makes what we have more real.”
I wiped at her eyes. “Are you okay? Why were you bleeding?”
She nodded. “I had a minor tear that they fixed. I’ll be fine but just need to rest.”
I nodded as I realized that the infirmary visits made sense. What I didn’t understand was the trip into town.
“What were you doing in town today? Why did you lie that you were at home?”
“I was…buying stuff.”
“For the baby?”
She nodded. “I was talking with Sherry about what I would need. So, I was going out shopping. I bought some prenatal vitamins. I was looking for baby clothes and baby bottles. I was trying to figure out what kind of breast pump I would want, but I wasn’t sure.
They kind of scared me.” She rubbed her hands together.
“I didn’t buy anything too important that you would maybe want to join in on. ”
I pulled her hands up, kissing the back of them. “Can we make a deal? No more secrets between us?”
She nodded. “Is your anger worse?”
I paused at her question, and she picked at her nails. “You yelled…and I understand being a little upset because you thought I would leave, but you yelled. And…”
I nodded. “It is. I’m not sugar coating that. Hiding things doesn’t help. I'm trying to get better at my emotions.”
Her fingers wrapped around mine, and I felt that soothing feeling settle over me. I knew she was using her magic. A sweetness filled the air.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” I moved onto the bed, pulling her into my arms as I held her. “I can’t blame my anger all on the bond. It doesn’t help, but I’m still a person and should know self-control. I don’t ever want you to be afraid of me.”
“I’m not afraid of you.” She settled her head against my chest. “I’m just scared.”
I kissed the top of her head. “I know.” I didn’t admit I was as well because she needed me to be strong. She needed me to be the Alpha. “Everything is going to be okay.”
That was a promise I planned to keep no matter what.