Chapter 22 - Janella
I heard a knock at the bedroom door, and I groaned. I pulled the pillow tighter over my pounding head and internally screamed at the pain.
“Janella?” Riley’s voice was soft as he grew closer to the bed. “You okay?”
“No,” I grunted, squeezing the pillow tighter.
“Morning sickness?”
It was morning sickness mixed with a massive hangover. I felt like someone had hit me with a truck and, for good measure, backed up. My head was pounding, and light made me wince.
“Yeah.”
I felt his hand reach out, resting on my back. “Is there anything I can go?”
“Can you grab me some meds? My head feels like it’s exploding.”
“Yeah.” His hand moved, rubbing at the back of my neck. “Do you want me to call your mother to cancel? She was going to come over for breakfast.”
I nodded. “Yeah.” I was not in the mood to see anyone. I just wanted to sleep.
I kept my eyes closed as I lay there. I took the meds that Riley gave me, and I held the covers over me, feeling like I was burning from the inside.
Riley was there for a while, rubbing my back. He placed a cold rag on my forehead and brought me more water when I needed it.
“I have to run out for a meeting,” Riley spoke softly as he moved off the bed. “Are you going to be okay here?”
I nodded, desperate to finally go to sleep. “Yeah.”
I heard his footsteps head down the hallway, and I rolled over, shoving my face into the pillow. I could feel tears welling up, wondering what I had done.
I drifted off to sleep, finally hoping to wake up feeling better. But I tossed and turned, dreaming of darkness and eyes on me. My head never stopped throbbing, and the medication did little to help.
I was curled in a tight fetal position when I heard a soft knock on the bedroom door. “Honey?”
I moved my pillow up enough to see if I thought it was who I thought it was. The voice was my mother as she stood in the doorway.
“Mom?”
“Hi, how are you feeling?”
“What are you doing here? Didn’t Riley tell you not to come?”
She nodded, walking into the room. “But he also sounded worried about you, so I told him I would stop in and check on you. He thinks you’ve been pushing yourself too much for the pack.”
I would have argued it, my head didn’t feel like it was splitting in two. “Mom…I’m fine. I just need sleep.”
Her hand reached out, her palm hot against my forehead. “How about I make that tea we’ve used for your headache and run you a bath?”
I just wanted to lie in bed and never move, but I didn’t argue with her. My mother held my hand more than a few times when I was sick, and I wasn’t going to stop trusting her yet.
“Yes…but wait on the bath.”
She brought me up some tea, which helped with the pounding. She rubbed my back while I lay in bed, softly humming. I felt like I was a teenager again, lying in bed while she cared for me. My mother always had a soothing personality, and I’d missed it.
“Thank you, Mom.”
“I’ll always take care of you.” She wiped the rag on my forehead. “You look tired. How about I let you sleep? I know Riley will be back soon.”
I nodded, pulling the pillow tighter. I sank against the smell of Riley and the weight of the blanket being placed over me.
I was back in the cell with the cauldron. It hummed loudly now, the dark magic radiating all over the room. I felt a pull towards it and walked closer. The cauldron seemed to ring, and I felt an urge to touch it. It was like someone had wrapped an arm around me, telling me it was safe.
“We are connected…you and I.” A whisper spread through the room. Its words are echoing over.
I shook my head. No. We were not connected. I wasn’t evil. I knew who I was..
“Don’t you want to feel powerful? Invincible? Don’t you want to make them see what you can do?”
I took a step back. My hands were shaking as I suddenly felt fear hit me. I wanted out. I needed out.
“You can’t deny that pull. It’s in your body. It’s coursing through your blood, Janella. Just accept it.”
I shook my head. “No! No, I’m not like you.”
I felt a coldness settle over, and the voice was right in my ear now. “Fine. Fight me, but you won’t win.”
I jerked awake and sat up. I grabbed at my chest, feeling my heart racing. I took deep breaths, but it didn’t help calm my nerves. That voice had put ice in my veins, and I couldn’t think straight.
I felt the urge to vomit and forced it down. But the more I say, the more my head starts to pound. My body felt hot and cold, and I started to shake as my magic burned at my fingertips.
And then I smelled it. That rancid smell fluttered along with my sweetness. That smell filled the room with the cauldron.
I threw myself out of bed and ran for the bathroom, unable to calm my stomach this time. I stumbled to the ground, releasing my stomach into the toilet. I could hear footsteps hurrying up the stairs towards me.
“Janella?” Riley called out as he came down the hallway.
My mind was on auto as I pulled my gaze up. Riley stepped into the bathroom, and his eyes softened when he saw me.
“Still feeling sick?” He took a step closer towards me.
“Stop,” I whispered, pulling my hand up, not wanting him to come any closer. I knew it was only a matter of seconds before he would smell it. That dark stench mixed with my own.
He looked at me, confused. “Janella.”
“Please just… don’t come in here.”
“I’m not afraid of a little puke.”
“That’s not why I’m telling you to stay back.” I snapped.
He froze now.
I could hardly wrap my head around what was going on, let alone say the words. But I felt like I was on fire, so I turned to the shower and flipped it on. I pulled at my shirt, but my hands were shaking.
“Janella, let me help you.”
“No!” I jumped away from him, shaking my head. “I don’t want to hurt you.” Fear gripped me as the voice rang in my head. Fight me. But you won’t win.
I could feel it underneath. That dark magic is fighting with my own.
“Janella…” Riley spoke with a broken tone. “You're not going to hurt me.”
I stepped under the cold water, letting it bathe me. I didn’t even care that I was fully clothed. “It’s in me.”
Riley looked at me, unsure of what to do with him. He looked broken as he took a step towards me. “Janella…please explain.”
Tears broke free. “The dark magic is inside me.”
Riley frowned. “Sweetie, I told you…”
“Can’t you smell it?”
This made Riley freeze up. He looked at me, really looked me over, and then I watched the realization set in. He could smell the difference.
He shook his head. “I don’t care.”
I couldn’t risk it. I didn’t want to accidentally hurt him or take away what little control he had over his anger. I shook my head at him. “I can’t risk hurting you, Riley.”
“You’re not going to hurt me.”
“I don’t want to find out.”
He sighed. “Janella, you're standing fully clothed in the shower. Please understand how this looks and how worried it makes me.”
I turned the water off, still feeling hot all over. He grabbed a towel and held it out. “I’ll go grab you some other clothes if you want to change.”
I nodded, suddenly feeling cold, and I started to shiver. Riley brought me clothes, and I changed. I found him sitting on the bed when I walked back into the room. He was rubbing his hands together, his legs bouncing.
“I’m sorry.”
He pulled his gaze up. “Janella, you are not evil. That smell does change that. It’s not your magic. I can still smell the sweetness.”
I knew that. I could still feel my own magic, and it must be fighting because my body was going through so many emotions. I was hot and suddenly cold. My palms would grow sweaty and suddenly dry a moment later.
He reached a hand out, and I shook my head. He frowned. “Janella, you aren’t going to hurt me.”
“I don’t want to take a chance. And I don’t want to somehow transfer this to you.”
“You won’t.”
“How else did I get it?” I asked, my mind traveling to the cauldron. I touched it. That zap I’d felt was not just a zap, but rather its magic clinging onto me.
“Or maybe the magic knew you were part of the pack and it’s affecting you as well now.”
I didn’t know what had happened, but we needed to be careful either way. “Either way, Riley, we have to be logical about this.” I swallowed. “I have been using my magic to calm you…I don’t want the opposite to happen.”
I watched his shoulders sag. “I…” He stumbled for words but finally nodded. “Okay. But I want you to see someone at the infirmary about this.”
I shook my head. “I can’t risk hurting anyone.”
“And I can’t risk you or the baby.” His voice was firm. “Please understand that. I understand your worry about me, but mine is about you and the baby.”
I placed my hands on my stomach. I chewed on my lower lip. “Okay. I’ll see someone.”
I went to the infirmary later, after I had called and spoken with Sherry. She had me come after hours so no one else would be around. She was careful and explained that she didn’t know how to pull it out, but she did know a way for a person to protect themselves.
“The baby will be fine.” She said, sitting in the chair across from me. “But if you don’t get your temperature and start eating again, it won’t be.”
“You’re sure the baby is okay?”
She nodded. “Your baby is still so little that the magic won’t attach yet. It’s still trying to win against yours. But this needs to be resolved fast. The more you fight it, the quicker your body is going to start growing tired.”
Over the next few days, I remained in bed. I used my magic to push the dark magic down, but I could still feel it fighting. I tried to eat, forcing myself to hold the food down. Riley was always around. His eyes were watching me everywhere I went.
I had made it downstairs into the living room to sit on the couch under the sun. I had three blankets wrapped around me and a cup of tea in my hands.
Riley sat across the couch. “Janella, I think you should go to the infirmary again.”
I shook my head. “There isn’t anything they can do.”
“Well, we can’t sit here and twiddle our thumbs hoping it just leaves. It’s not.”
I didn’t know what to tell him. The times I wasn’t feeling like shit, I read. Sherry said she’d been looking in books, asking around, but was coming up empty on answers. I was trying to remain calm, but I was getting worried as the days went by.
“Riley, this is just going to take time.”
He crossed his arms. “I can see how draining this is for you, Janella. I want a solution.”
“It’s not that simple.”
I watched his nostrils flare. “Maybe the witches aren’t looking for a solution hard enough.”
“Riley, it’s not their fault. They are trying to figure it out.”
There was a knock at the front door, and he grumbled irritably. “Come in.”
The door was pulled open, and Troy stepped in. He offered a tight smile. “Hey, sis. How are you feeling?”
“How does she look?” Riley snapped as he turned to Troy.
My eyebrows went up at his anger. “Riley.”
Troy waved a hand. “I’m just here to check in. Maybe this is a bad time.”
“You think?” Riley snapped.
“Riley! Enough.” I snapped at him. “Calm down.”
“I am calm.” He growled.
“No, you aren’t.”
Troy put his hands up. “I can come back.”
“No, come on in! It’s not like we aren’t trying to figure shit out. You're not interrupting.”
“Enough, Riley.”
“Don’t…”
Troy didn't even let him finish before he took a close step towards me. I could see the way Troy’s jaw set his eyes narrowing on Riley. “Watch it, Riley.”
I could feel the tension growing, and Riley’s nostrils flared. I knew he was losing his temper, losing control over himself. I thought of the last time it happened and the mess his bedroom had been. I couldn’t let it happen again. I wouldn’t.
“Riley.” I moved closer and raised a hand. “You need to calm down.”
“I am calm!” He yelled. Troy grabbed him, shoving him a step back from me.
I threw my handout, placing one on Troy and one on Riley to divide them up. “Enough! We are not going to fight.”
I watched as Riley’s face shifted from anger into pure rage. I then felt that shift. That darkness that had been settling in me was suddenly gone. I felt my stomach dip, and I couldn’t breathe as I watched Riley’s face shift into someone I didn’t know.