Chapter 28
That night, Libby and Karim joined Dan for his mom and Malek’s last dinner on the island. They would be flying home tomorrow evening.
As the waitress cleared their empty plates, and while Dan and Malek were deep in conversation, his mom leaned across the table to squeeze Libby’s hand.
“I owe you so much,” Carina said. “I haven’t seen Dan this happy in—god, I don’t know. I can’t remember.”
Libby forced herself to smile, like she’d been doing all day ever since she’d told Dan about Juliana’s email and he’d lied so easily to her.
Maybe if they’d had a chance to talk more today, she would’ve felt better.
But it had been clear from the way Dan had dashed off to the beach that he’d wanted to be alone.
She’d then taken Karim out for a walk to the grocery store, and when they’d gotten back to the hut, there was a note from Dan on the table saying he’d gone to Avarua, gift shopping for his sisters with Carina.
By the time he came back with Carina and Malek, it was time to go out again to the restaurant.
They wouldn’t be alone again until after dinner.
“It’s been a tough six months for him,” Libby said, keeping her voice even and diplomatic.
“But even before that, I’d noticed for a few months that Dan hadn’t smiled much. Not properly, anyway. He was always so busy. We barely saw him in person, and when we did, he always looked distracted and tired.”
“I guess he must’ve been happy doing what he was doing,” Libby said. “Otherwise, he wouldn’t have done it.” That was one thing Libby knew about him, at least. Dan wasn’t a sheep. Under what circumstances would he let himself be led to do something against his will?
Then the memory of what he’d said to the children on Atiu, about how he’d gotten on that horse to impress Isabella, tightened her stomach.
A man madly in love would let himself be led.
Then the reason for his lie struck her. As did that protective, guarded look in his eyes at the mention of Isabella’s name.
He was still in love with his ex. Of course he was!
Nausea curdled in Libby’s gut again. The roller coaster ride had ended, and now she was green in the face and ready to puke into a bush.
“Anyway,” Carina said beside her now, “if it wasn’t for you, Libby, Dan would never have got his act together to do what he’s doing now. To do what you’re both doing. And your photography is amazing. I just love your website.”
“Thank you.” Libby’s gaze shifted to Dan and Malek, still talking at the bar on the sand. The lagoon behind them loomed dark, and the white froth of waves out past the reef caught the pale moonlight.
Why did he have to lie?
It was beyond disappointing. Sure, she hadn’t been expecting every detail about Isabella’s affair, but couldn’t he have said, Yeah, I know, but I can’t talk about it?
Evading was one thing, but to pretend—so smoothly and easily—that he didn’t know anything about those rumors was unsettling.
“What’s on your mind, hon?”
Libby blinked at Carina’s question. There was no way she could tell Dan’s mom what she’d been thinking, nor how she was feeling. Not when her heart felt so fragile and she was afraid of sounding like that needy, begging girl she’d been at Elliot’s feet.
“Nothing’s on my mind,” Libby said breezily. “I was, uh, just thinking how nice it would be to stroll along the beach at night.”
“Go, have a walk, then. I’ll stay with Karim.”
Leave her baby? “Oh, no, no, it’s okay.”
“But he’s sleeping now,” Carina said. “He’ll be okay for twenty minutes while you paddle your feet in the sea.”
At that moment, Dan and Malek returned. Malek handed Carina another mocktail.
“Are you sure you don’t want one?” Dan asked Libby.
She shook her head. “Thanks, but I’d better put Karim to bed.”
“Oh, lovie, go for your moonlit beach walk first,” Carina said. “You and Dan head off, and we’ll sit with Karim while we have our drinks.”
“But it’s late, and—”
“When will you get the chance again?” Carina said softly. “If Karim wakes, I’ll cuddle him, and Malek will find you.”
Dan’s gaze heated the side of her face. “Shall we, Libby?”
“Ah…” She glanced at Karim. He was in a deep sleep, and he’d be safe here with Carina, another mother—a grandmother, even—who was a lovely, kind, gentle person.
Saying no would sound churlish, and at least she’d finally get to speak to Dan again alone.
Though she hadn’t expected to be so nervous about doing so.
“All right, Carina, if you really don’t mind.
” Libby stood. “We’ll be back in ten minutes. ”
Along with her child, Libby also left her shoes with Dan’s mom.
Without the sunshine, the coarse sand was so much cooler now around her bare feet.
The lagoon was dark, the ocean black, and now that they were away from the music and chatter of the restaurant, the pounding waves against the reef grew louder.
“Ten minutes?” Dan said beside her, and Libby bristled at the hint of amusement in his voice.
“I wasn’t implying that we do it on the beach like a couple of randy teenagers.”
“Neither was I.” Amusement disappeared. “I just meant that we could stay out longer. My mum won’t mind watching Karim, and we haven’t had much of a chance to talk since this morning. It’s been quite a day, Libby,” he said.
“Are you upset that I didn’t tell you about Hot Gossip sooner?”
“A little.” His lips pressed into a firm line as his gaze remained fixed on the outer reef. “But I think I’m mainly surprised that someone like you worked for a place like that.”
“I was fresh out of college and ambitious.”
“I get that.” Dan stepped in front of her and stopped her from walking.
She bumped into him, so close she could hear his intake of breath.
“Libby, about… I know, I…” His lips pursed together, trapping his words inside, and before she could ask him to continue, he cupped her face and kissed her, slow and lazy, like they had all the time in the world.
A million memories of the past two nights in his bed burst into her mind.
Dan, naked and hard between her thighs, feasting on her breasts.
His tongue gently exploring hers, just like it was now.
Sweet yet spicy. Hot yet tender. She was free-falling to earth yet weightless.
So many contrasts. So much contradiction.
She’d been in love before, but it had never been frightening and unnerving like this.
Listen to your gut, not your heart.
She wasn’t a na?ve, fanciful teenager anymore. She had responsibilities. She had Karim. She was the boss of her own life.
What the hell was she doing? Standing here, ankle deep in the lagoon, on a deserted beach, leaving her child in a restaurant full of strangers…to kiss a man she’d only known for a month? A man who could lie so easily and who was, quite possibly, still in love with his ex.
Yanking herself out of Dan’s arms, Libby stepped back.
“I can’t do this,” she cried. She wasn’t thinking straight. She needed to clear her head. “I’ve got to go.”
“What? Libby? Wait!” Dan was by her side in an instant. “What happened?”
“You happened!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That I made a mistake.” She marched on toward the lights. “We can’t be friends and have sex. It’s just not possible. I’m not behaving like myself. This isn’t who I am. I never, ever leave Karim, and here I am, walking the beach at night without him. Anything can happen.”
Dan’s hand caught hers. “Libby, he’s asleep and with my mum.”
“But I don’t know your mother, not really.”
“You said you liked her.”
“Yes, but I’ve spoken to her, like, five times! Would you leave your child with someone you’ve only spoken to five times? Leave him in a bar where people are drinking? How could I get so careless? So reckless.”
“You’re not careless or reckless. Calm down.”
“I am calm!”
“Then breathe.” He released her hand, and her lungs expanded.
With one deep breath after another, she scrambled for composure and reason. No, she was definitely not feeling like herself.
“Is this about what you told me today?” he asked.
She shook her head. Juliana’s email may have been the trigger, but if Libby wasn’t in love with Dan, what she’d told him today wouldn’t have mattered. His blatant lie wouldn’t have mattered either.
Boundaries.
She had to set some boundaries—fence in her emotions and keep them separate from everything else.
“Look,” she said on another exhale. “Friends don’t have sex with each other. Friends are platonic. If they have sex, then by definition they are no longer just friends.”
“You want us to stop having sex?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“Or do you want us to be more than friends?”
“I don’t know that either,” she whispered. Everything inside was so mixed up. “All I know is that I need to get back to my baby.”