Chapter 30
The bright afternoon sun beat down on Are Moana.
With Libby and Karim trailing behind him, Dan walked through Hehu’s garden toward the bungalow.
That dark, windy night when he’d first arrived came back to mind.
His aching body. His broken heart. And then Libby, standing in the doorway in her nightclothes, as unhappy to see him as he’d been to see her.
He glanced back at her now. Her brow was creased, like it had been since the moment he’d joined her and Karim by the fallen tree on the beach earlier.
They hadn’t spoken much since her honeymoon comment.
When they’d got back to the hut, Libby had busied herself with sorting out Karim’s beach stuff while Dan had made lunch.
It had been obvious from the way she wasn’t making any eye contact that she didn’t want to talk.
Fine by him. Mentioning his honeymoon, liked he’d done something wrong, had pissed him off.
But she was obviously upset with him, worried that he might ruin the balance of her and Karim’s life. Worried that she might get hurt again?
But he’d never hurt her. Not intentionally, anyway. And if she were thinking along those lines, did that mean she did want to be more than friends? Why, then, did he get the feeling that she was pushing him away?
“We need to talk, Libby.”
“I know.”
But they both knew that now wasn’t the time. Mum and Malek’s luggage was already in the open doorway of the bungalow. Their cab would be here very soon. As they approached, Mum came out immediately and made her usual fuss over Karim.
“Here you go, darling.” She handed him a banana, which delighted him. And Libby, too. Their genuine smiles confirmed what Dan already knew—despite what Libby had said last night, she did trust his mother, and leaving Karim with her hadn’t been the problem at all.
Of course it hadn’t.
The cab arrived. Dan shook Malek’s hand and then hugged his mum goodbye.
“Do what makes you happy,” she whispered softly in his ear, then louder, she added, “I’ll message you when we get home.” She turned to hug Libby. “You’ve been a blessing. Thank you so much. I hope we see you again or, at the very least, that we can keep in touch.”
“I’d love that,” Libby said, and her eyes met his briefly over Mum’s shoulder.
There were more “goodbyes” and “take cares.” Mum and Malek got into the car and drove off with Mum still waving through the open window. “See you soon!”
When their cab disappeared from view, Dan’s gaze drifted to Libby beside him. She was holding Karim, who’d now finished waving and was kicking his legs to get down. As soon as she set him on his feet, he pulled her toward the bungalow.
Dan followed them. He hadn’t stepped foot inside since that cringy afternoon when he’d grabbed his stuff and jumped into Libby’s cab.
The bungalow was bigger than the hut, but the huge matrimonial bed sucked up all the space.
Libby looked away from it first.
“You staying here tonight?” she asked.
“I’d rather not,” he said and reached for her hand. “I’d rather talk with you and sort out whatever is going on between us. What you said earlier, about not letting anyone else into your life—”
“Look, Dan, just forget what I said earlier. What matters most is our work. We should concentrate on releasing our next video after Karim goes to bed, rather than—”
“Work? Is that all you want me for?”
“No, you have other uses.” But her words had no punch, and when she let his hand go, he pulled her back and held her in his arms.
“Sex, then? Is that all you want from me, Libby?” The thought should’ve got him hot, but instead it left him feeling empty.
“I know Isabella cheated on you,” she said. “I know she’s having an affair with Xav Hunter.”
Libby’s words slammed into his brain. “What the…?” He shook his head.
Clearly he’d missed something, because one second he’d been trying to figure out what was going on with him and Libby, and the next… Fuck, where had that come from? And…how? Just how did she know?
“Who told you?” he demanded.
“You did.”
“I—what? When?”
“The day you were sick. You thought I was her. You asked me how I could do it. How I could screw Xav Hunter.”
Fucking hell. He turned away from her, trying to steady his pulse, his irritation, and this prickling, irrational sense of violation.
Man, this was too much!
He’d actually said that?
And she’d known all this time?
He covered his face with his hands, embarrassed. Exposed.
And annoyed. Dammit. He was so annoyed right now.
“Why did you ask me if I knew about the rumors when you already knew that I did?” he asked.
“Were you testing me?” One look at her face told him the answer.
Dan gritted his teeth. “Is that why you’re distancing yourself from me?
Even after you kept your whole bloody past career from me, you’re angry that I didn’t tell you someone else’s secret?
” He scoffed and shook his head. “Thanks, friend.”
“Dan—”
“What else did I babble on about that day? Did I tell you my life story? Have you been testing me all along about it?”
“No. Of course not.”
But something like guilt flashed across her face. Why? He didn’t truly believe she’d been testing him about everything, but what was she keeping from him?
“Libby? What else did I say that day?”
Her brow creased as she picked at her nails. “You said that you would always love her.”
Isabella. He’d always love Isabella…
“Right.” The pain he’d felt a few weeks ago loomed over him again. If saying he’d always love Isabella had come from his subconscious, was that how he still truly felt? “I see.”
“Me too,” Libby said sadly. “What you said that day was private, and it was obvious you didn’t mean to say it out loud. Not to me, anyway.”
“You should’ve told me.”
“I wanted to protect your privacy. You would’ve freaked out if I’d told you the next day. We didn’t know each other then.”
Dan scrubbed his face again and sighed. “Maybe we still don’t really know each other now, either.”
Libby stiffened. “I guess not.” Then she turned to Karim.
“Come on, honey. We’d better get back home.
Let’s walk along the beach and get another of those delicious milkshakes.
” Karim jumped into her arms, and she hooked her bag over her shoulder, looking Dan’s way.
“Maybe you should stay here tonight after all.”
“Why?”
“Because there’s no reason for you to stay with us now that you’ve got this place back.”
The day was going from bad to worse.
Had she just dumped Dan?
Libby had gotten herself and Karim out the door and to the beach so fast that now, even she’d been left confused by what had happened. All she knew was that at least one of the extra benefits of their special kind of friendship was now well and truly over, and she was so damned mad at him.
His secret texting with Isabella? His covert looking at her social media? The whole frickin’ Isabella-free zone? As if his ex were some rare precious jewel, only to be looked at by a chosen few. It was obvious he was still in love with her! Why didn’t he just come out and say it?
Libby jabbed her toe into the sand.
Why had he said all those things about sorting out what was going on between them now?
Why had he gotten upset that she’d tested him?
Not that she’d done so consciously. Not really.
But now a guilty knot weighed heavily in her stomach.
If Dan had said yes to knowing about those damned rumors, was she right to expect him to tell her all about them?
Like he’d said, it was someone else’s secret.
And she’d been keeping things from him, too.
She had her reasons, but so did he, and there was nothing in their handshake deal that said they had to tell each other their deepest, darkest secrets.
All they’d really promised each other was to work on a five-part series together and stay friends after having sex.
That guilty knot in her stomach doubled in size. Dan had also been right to say she’d been distancing herself from him these past couple of days. But wasn’t it better to jump rather than be pushed, rather than wait until her heart had gotten in deeper?
But maybe the scars Elliot had left on her soul were just as plain to see as the scars on Dan’s body.
Could she ever trust a man again, even if she wanted to?
Was she always going to set them up to fail?
She swallowed down her insecurities. She didn’t want to live her life scared of taking chances. Putting barriers around people she liked and loved wasn’t the healthiest, soundest way to be. Love meant taking risks. But she’d taken the risk before and had ended up a crying mess at Elliot’s feet.
Libby jabbed her toe in the sand again and yelped when she scraped against something sharp. A crab. A broken shell. A jagged pebble. Who knew what lay beneath the surface? She checked her toe for blood but found nothing. Karim came to investigate, too, and patted her foot.
“There, there,” he said in the same singsong voice she used with him when he fell over. Tears stung her eyes.
“Mommy’s all right, honey.” She gave him a big smile and crouched down next to him. He handed her a seashell. “That’s a gorgeous one,” she said. “Can you find two more to make three?”
He scanned the shallow waters, his playful splashing reminding her of what was important.
Love. Unbreakable bonds. Friendship. Family.
She wanted that for her son. And dammit, she wanted it for herself too.
Alone at the bungalow, Dan sat at the little bistro table, stewing over what Libby had told him.
He’d always love Isabella…
He’d said that? Had he meant it? He’d been so cut up about their breakup, so exhausted from the long journey and being hounded by the press for weeks on end, but yeah, he’d been yearning for Isabella then.
He’d wanted to go back to the time when they’d been happy together. When they’d planned out their future.
But had it really been their future, or just his?
Like him, Isabella had said she wanted children eventually, but she’d wanted to live in Los Angeles, or New York, or somewhere other than England more, especially while her career took off.
Dan had always thought that was her mother’s influence, always pushing Isabella to have bigger, better things.
He’d known that living at his home in Somerset wasn’t the upper echelons of glam celebrity life, but it was his home, and he’d always believed Isabella had loved it as much as he did.
But maybe not.
Maybe he’d been so focused on recreating his own family life—like his sisters had done—that he hadn’t noticed he’d lost track of what she wanted.
Now, Dan replayed the day Isabella had told him about Hunter, when she’d looked so pale that even before she’d begun to speak, he’d asked if she was ill.
She’d shaken her head and then burst into tears.
“I just don’t love you,” she’d said. Then she’d cried harder as she told him she’d fallen in love with Xavier Hunter.
That after his next film, he’d be leaving his wife.
He hadn’t been happy for a very long time, and now that they’d found each other, he’d started to live again, and so had she.
“He’s married” had been all Dan could think to say, “and you’re engaged to me!”
“But I’m not happy, and neither is Xav. Why should we live our lives being married to people we’re no longer in love with? That’s not fair to anyone.”
None of it was fair.
But it was real, and it had happened. Every day of the week, people fell in and out of love.
At least Isabella had been honest with him.
At least she hadn’t gone through with the wedding, saying her vows to his face, lying to him and everyone else. That would have been worse. A lot worse.
The rejection had stung, but now with some clarity, and especially now that he’d met Libby, Dan recalled how kind and nice Isabella could be. She must love Hunter a lot, because she’d never be so callous as to have a casual affair just for the sake of sex.
He only hoped that her and Hunter’s love was strong enough to ride the storm that was heading their way if rumors were escalating.
He’d found nothing online about them, and he hadn’t heard from Isabella since yesterday, either.
But at least he’d done his bit to warn her.
The rest was up to her now, and he had other, bigger things on his mind.
Like how he was going to sort things out with Libby.
Because despite how she kept pushing him away—and despite how cross she’d made him—they weren’t over yet.
Watching her and Karim leave just now had been tough.
He’d wanted to chase after them but hadn’t trusted himself to not say something else he’d regret.
Saying they didn’t really know each other had been bad enough.
Did Libby know he hadn’t meant it? Their immediate connection went deep into his bones.
Was that how Libby felt too about him? He might not know everything about her life, but he knew enough to want to know more.
And he definitely knew she made him happy.
And Karim too.
Together, they’d made him enjoy life again.
They’d made him stronger.
Dan drummed his fingers on the bistro table. Once, he’d daydreamed about eating meals out here with Isabella on their honeymoon, but now those images had faded like wallpaper in the background. Other, brighter daydreams filled his vision instead. Possibilities. Chances. Choices.
Do what makes you happy…
So, he got his phone and held it up to his face. No shields, no distractions. Just him and the screen. He pressed record.
“Part Five,” he announced. “Okay, people, let’s talk about Part Five…” This was hard. He studied his face as if he were looking in a mirror. Still recording, he stepped out into the little garden. “Part Five,” he said again, trying to find the right words. “So… I…”
Dammit. Get it together, Jones.
He puffed out his cheeks. “All right, here’s the thing.
No one really knows what their Part Five is going to be like.
” He paced up and down and then headed out the little gate and along the path to the beach.
Focused by the expanse of sky and sea, he angled his phone to capture the lagoon, the gold-white sand, and the turquoise water.
“So, what does Part Five look like for me?”
A blast of heat engulfed him, energizing his soul. He took a deep breath, looked beyond the line of the reef and the waves breaking against it, and listed everything he saw on his personal horizon.