5. The Choice
The next morning,I wake to the caress of sunlight streaming through the curtains, casting a warm light across my bedroom. The familiar sounds of Port Haven drift in through the open window – the distant hum of traffic, the cheerful chirping of birds composing a peaceful symphony.
Just what I need.
Stretching my stiff limbs, I wince at the lingering soreness from the previous day’s emotional rollercoaster. My phone buzzes on the nightstand, snapping me out of my thoughts. I reach for it, my heart skipping a beat as I see Alexander’s name flashing on the screen.
“Meet me tonight. I need you,” the message reads his words as both a command and a plea.
I stare at the message. I’ve tried to distance myself from him, to protect myself from the darkness that surrounds him, but his pull is undeniable. His vulnerability, his pain, and the raw honesty of his confession have chipped away at the walls I’d built around my heart.
Another message arrives, this one from Sarah, confirming our meeting at the pier later.
Today, hiding the truth consumes me like a relentless beast. I need to tell Sarah about the tangled mess of my feelings for these two men. But how could I explain it to her when I can’t even understand it myself? Besides, she might judge me, but she’s the one who dated an asshole for five years– so maybe she’ll have mercy on me.
Summoning the strength to drag myself out of bed, I shuffle towards the bathroom, my bare feet sinking into the plush carpet with each step. Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I cringe. My hair is a tangled mess, my eyes puffy from lack of sleep, and my skin pale and blotchy. I look like a wreck, a far cry from the confident, put-together woman I present to the world.
Get a grip, Ava,I scold myself. You can’t fall apart now. There would be no one to pick me up if I did.
I splash cold water on my face, the shock of it clearing the fog from my mind. I pull on a pair of jeans and a comfortable sweater, opting for comfort over style for once. My reflection still holds the traces of exhaustion and worry, but I refuse to let them define me.
* * *
I walk into my office, the day already pressing down on me like a heavy cloak. Pulling out my phone, I check for messages. I see another blinking notification from Alexander. His cryptic message from that morning remains unanswered. “Well?” it reads, a single word that holds a universe of unspoken questions and desires.
Yes,I type back. This is insane. What am I doing? But I need to see him. Maybe this time he’ll give me the answers. Maybe this time, it will be different.
At my desk, I try to focus on my emails, the mundane tasks a temporary distraction. A knock on my door startles me, and I look up to see Dexter standing in the doorway. His tall frame seems to shrink under his serious expression, his usual gentle smile replaced by a frown that creases his forehead.
He cuts right to the chase. “Ava, we need to talk.” There’s no stutter, no hesitation. His voice is different, sharper than usual.
“What’s up?”I ask, a knot forming in my stomach. My head is still spinning from the messages I’ve received that morning, from Alexander’s cryptic summons to the realization of the Veles Network’s connection to past crimes.
“H-how are you?”he asks, his kind eyes searching mine. His stutter is back.
I force a smile, hoping to mask my real feelings. “I’m alright, just a bit tired.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Tired from what?”
I hesitate, unsure of how much to reveal. “Just some personal stuff,”I mumble, hoping he’ll let it go.
“W-well, if you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you,”he offers, his gaze lingering on me a beat too long. “Or if you need help with the project, you know, anything. We could work late, just the two of us.”
“Thanks, Dexter,”I say, a genuine smile tugging at the corners of my lips, “but I’ll manage.”
That’s very sweet of him.
He takes a deep breath, his expression turning serious once more. “Listen, Ava, I know we’re not close, but—”
I tense, wondering what he could want to say. “What is it?”
“It’s about T-tyler,”he says, his voice low. “He’s a great guy, and he cares about you a lot. And I don’t want to see him g-get hurt.”
A lump forms in my throat, guilt twisting like a knife in my gut. “What do you mean?”I ask.
“Ava, I d-don’t know what’s going on between you and Tyler, but I can see that you’re not being honest with him,”he says, his words hitting their mark.
My mind reels. One part of me, the part still yearning for Alexander, wants to be with him. But another part, a voice I’d tried to ignore for years, whispers warnings. What am I doing? I have Tyler now. Tyler is good, kind— safe. Tyler won’t leave me. Not like my parents did—
I look away, unable to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry, Dexter,”I mumble, tears pricking my eyes. “I don’t think it’s any of your business.”
He shakes his head, his expression firm but kind. “He’s a good guy, Tyler. Too good for his own good, maybe. People like that— they’re easy to break.”
His words echo the doubts that have been plaguing me for days. He’s right. Tears prickle behind my eyes, threatening to let go. My stomach coils, a reminder that I’m not being fair to Tyler. I can’t keep stringing him along, offering him a version of myself that doesn’t exist while my heart remains entangled with Alexander and his darkness. The truth is, I’m no longer the person I thought I was – the good girl, my parents’ perfect daughter, the graphic designer with a tidy apartment and predictable life. There’s a darkness within me now, a shadow that both terrifies and intrigues me. It’s a realization that leaves me trembling, questioning everything I thought I knew about myself.
Warm, salty tears make their way down my cheeks, and I nod, accepting the painful truth of his words. “Yes, he does,”I whisper.
Dexter takes a step closer, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “You need to let him go, Ava,”he says. “For b-both of your sakes.”
“I know,”I say, wiping away the tears.
As he leaves my office, closing the door behind him, a sense of clarity overcomes me. It’s time to face the truth, however painful it might be. I have to break up with Tyler.