CHAPTER ONE
BIANCA
Five Years Later
“Congratulations, class of twenty twenty-four!”
Grinning, we all throw our caps upward to the sky, shrieks of laughter erupting from everyone as we finally finish our four years of high school. Moving through the crowd of people, I find Mom waving at me and I sprint toward her.
“You did it, honey!” she yells while squeezing me tightly, me returning the gesture.
I pull back, seeing tears in her eyes, some of my own welling.
“You know your dad would have been so proud,” she says softly, and even with all the noise, I hear it loud as day and sigh.
This year marks thirteen years since we lost Dad and my baby brother Ezra in a car crash.
The memory never fails to leave me, holding me prisoner.
Not helping the no-crying situation, I nod once again, and she hugs me even tighter.
“Compliments on your graduation, Bianca.” Pulling back, Josh, Mom’s boyfriend, stands there in his suit and tie.
His arm curves around Mom’s waist, his wrist glinting with a watch way too expensive to be worn at a high school graduation.
“Kate and I are over the moon.” He gives me a small smile and I return it.
She nods, placing her hand on his chest, sporting a grin as she looks up at him.
Joshua Callaway. One of the top criminal lawyers here in Philly and, unfortunately, someone Mom really cares about.
They’ve been together for a year now, and while he’s .
. . nice, there’s something that doesn’t sit right with me.
I’ve chalked it up to possibly being about his overall shallow nature, and I guess it’s not the worst thing.
He drags a finger along Mom’s jawline, flicking the diamond earring when he reaches her earlobe.
She giggles, and I roll my eyes while shaking my head.
At least he treats her right . . . That’s all that matters.
“Bianca!” Jamie, my absolute best friend in the world, runs toward me, and I excuse myself as we crash into each other. “Oh my freaking goodness! We graduated!” she shrieks, and proceeds to interlace her fingers with mine as we jump up and down.
“I know, right? I can’t believe it either.”
She smiles, and I realize that without this girl who has the attitude of someone seven feet tall, I wouldn’t have made it through high school. “And pretty soon, roomies at UPenn!”
Something passes over me, but I quickly mask it with a smile. “For sure, J.”
She raises her eyebrow and opens her mouth, but I stop her before she can say anything.
Not today, we can’t ruin today.
“Did anyone make it for you?” I ask, but she shakes her head, her bedazzled cap catching some sunlight in the process, and this hug we share is entirely different.
“I mean, unless little Whiskers suddenly found a way to drive a car,” she says cheekily.
The image of the all-black kitten she recently adopted driving a car causes me to laugh.
I give her a side hug, silently affirming that I’m here for her at least, and hoping she knows that the people in her life who have passed are extremely proud of her.
“Bianca, we need to go!” I hear, and see Mom waving excitedly at Jamie. Josh smiles at me while tapping his watch, and I nod. Turning toward Jamie, her brown eyes gleaming with understanding, I give her one last hug.
The giddiness hasn’t left my chest since I walked across the stage and switched the tassel on my cap.
I open my diploma sleeve back up, eyeing my name in a bold font.
As we drive home, Josh accidentally goes over a pothole, mumbling a hushed apology.
I grab the door panel to steady my uneasy nerves, and a different sensation fills me.
One of slight dread, where I need to shift my mind from diving back into those memories.
I take deep breaths as Mom reaches her hand behind her, and I grab it, my fingers shaking slightly.
After a bit, my heart rate returns to normal.
I squeeze her hand, leaning back and focusing on the scenery outside the window.
When we first got here to Philadelphia, Mom and I went to live at my paternal grandma’s, being that Mom’s parents passed away long before I was born.
It was hard starting in a new city, in a new school, but I eventually got used to it.
However, after about eight months, she passed, and it hurt more than anything. Grandma was all I had left of Dad.
“Bianca.”
I wake from my slight daze, and Mom is turned around in her seat as we slow in front of a fancy mansion.
More specifically, Josh’s ex-wife’s mansion.
I blink harshly, almost as if I’m dreaming, and then an annoyance simmers lowly in me.
Mom gives me a sympathetic smile as Josh moves to get out of the car.
“Olivia’s coming?” I ask curiously as he shuts the door, my eyes moving to pin Mom down with a look.
“You know she doesn’t like me.” She rolls her eyes and waves her hand as if to say I’m being dramatic.
Olivia’s become tolerant of Mom over time, but only just, and I don’t have the heart to tell her the truth since Mom wants to win her over.
The few times Olivia and I have been in the same room, I’m either ignored completely or barely tolerated.
I have no idea why, but after the first couple times, I’ve given up trying.
Sighing, I look out the windshield to see her being spun around by Josh as he praises her for graduating after her second attempt at senior year.
“I’m sure that’s not true, hon. Besides, Josh’s wanting to take you two up to Beaumonte as a graduation present,” Mom says, and my eyebrows raise at the mention of the most expensive restaurant in the area. I finally nod, as that is a really nice thing regardless.
“Congratulations! What can I get you?” The waitress looks at me with kindness in her eyes, and a small huff comes from Olivia as she flicks a black curl behind her ear.
A soft guilt forms in my stomach, but given I’m the one still wearing my graduation robe, it makes sense why the waitress made the assumption.
We all quickly order our drinks, and thankfully, we’re able to place our dinner orders as well, and she nods before scurrying off.
Josh continues chatting with Olivia and Mom, when another person comes over with our drinks.
My eyebrows raise at the service, but again, it’s the Beaumonte.
A waiter crosses the dining hall with a dessert cart, the portions smaller than normal.
I turn back to see Josh walking off to take a call, and smile as Olivia looks up from her phone in my direction, her brown eyes connecting with mine.
“Hi,” I say, waving a bit, while she nods plainly in my direction.
I glance back down at my drink, embarrassment spreading through me.
The waitress comes back while Josh is still away, and I gasp, surprised as a small cupcake is placed in front of me with a candle and a little note, causing me to look up at her.
“Could get fired, but here’s a little something on me.” She winks, and I pick up the note, seeing the words “Happy Graduation” on it. I mouth a thank you, and she nods slightly before walking off. Mom claps a little at the sweet gesture, giving me a thumbs-up.
Josh returns promptly as another waiter sets down his plate of food. Seeing it, he smiles and gently stops Mom from going for a bite. She looks up, confused, before he grabs her hand and closes his eyes. Understanding dawns on her as she grabs my hand and Olivia gives me hers, reluctantly.
Opening his eyes, he says, “Kate, you won’t believe what Tony told me over the phone.
” I perk up at the news. Olivia turns toward him like a puppy waiting for his next words, and he sits back, adjusting his tie.
“We’re expanding, and I will be in charge of our new office. ” A smug smile overtakes his face.
Mom shrieks, and he looks over at her before she hugs him.
Olivia and Mom crowd him with congratulations, and I offer some of my own.
He thanks us before he scans the busy restaurant, seemingly looking for something.
He catches the eye of someone and gives a small wave, then glances back at us with a certain look.
He clears his throat before placing his napkin over his lap. “I’m relocating to Los Angeles, Kate.”
Time stops. I swear, the breeze that’s continual in this place shuts off. Mom’s hand freezes on his outstretched arm. My fork clatters, and his eyes home in at the sound.
“Los Angeles, California?” Olivia asks, and I level her with a dry look. She turns and glares once she notices my expression, then returns her attention to Josh. “But that’s so far away,” she whines. Josh scooches closer to her while Mom moves to rub my hand as I stare in disbelief.
“I know. Though, you’ll be starting college soon. UPenn will definitely keep you busy,” he says, and even though I’m hurt once again by her college news, it’s nothing compared to the emotions Josh stirred up by bringing up Los Angeles.
Los Angeles . . .
That’s where I used to live.
That’s where he lives.
Josh is glancing Mom’s way. “It’s also in a month’s time, and I really want you to come with me.
” She gasps. “Kate, I know we’ve only been officially dating for a year, but I’ve known you longer than that.
I see a future with you, and it starts with this move.
” Her jaw drops open before she slides her gaze to me, and I look at her, trying not to betray anything that could sway her decision.
I know I may not wholeheartedly like Josh based on really unsubstantial things. Though, after years of hearing Mom yearn for love again, I would hate to be the reason she doesn’t take the jump.
She looks back at him, and I mentally prepare myself, as I know what she’ll say.
“Okay.”
His eyes widen at her answer, then he pulls her in for a hug.
Olivia lets out another small huff, oblivious to the deeper meaning of this decision that only Mom and I know about.
Mom finds my eyes, looking conflicted when they pull back.
I shake my head at her and nod, smiling.
Something along the lines of relief clears in her eyes before she takes a deep breath.
“That settles it. Kate, Bianca, and I will be moving to California in a month,” he announces, causing Olivia to ask to talk to him privately, leaving Mom and me as they walk off.
Her hand comes into my line of vision. “I’m trying to be happy for you, Mom. I am. It’s just—” I can’t even finish before she scoots closer, hugging me.
“You’re such a selfless person. But you can tell me, what’s really racing through your head?” Mom never fails to impress me and is truly one of the most noble people I know.
“I can’t go back.” My truth spills out. “My college applications have all been sent out for schools here.” Every single one was sent to Pennsylvania schools, I mean, except for one.
One that I sent for fun, one that even if I got accepted, I doubted I would ever take.
“I already got used to Philly. I can’t leave my friends here,” I continue.
I mean, I only have Jamie, but still—going somewhere to start over again?
Mom’s hand brushes some strands of hair behind my ear as her soft fingers cup my chin.
“Sweetie, it’s been five years. Maybe he’ll be glad to see you again.
” She sighs. “I don’t think it’s the worst news.
My contract with the firm is almost over.
You’re done with school, and we can always apply to other colleges. California has some great options.”
I nod. “You know, that’s also where Dad—” I start, but I don’t finish as she glances at me and she shakes her head.
“I know. That was my first thought. Los Angeles holds so many bad memories for me,” she whispers, rubbing her stomach subconsciously.
Over time, neither the redness nor the scar on her stomach ever quite went away.
Now, it’s like a constant reminder of what she lost. “Maybe we can create some new memories. I don’t know why, but I have this feeling that things will be better this time around,” she says, trying to be a little optimistic.
Josh and Olivia come back, and Mom glances at me with a look of “we’ll talk more later.
” Besides the murmurs between Mom and Josh, it’s a rather quiet rest of the meal, and we eventually reach home.
Of course, Josh will be staying over, as he always does, but today I don’t even care.
All that’s in my head is that I’m going back to the place that I wanted to forget.
As I walk into my room, emotionally exhausted, I struggle with my thoughts.
How am I going to break the news to the only friend I have?
I know I can’t make the same mistake twice and withhold it till the very last second.
I flop onto my bed as memories about that someone that I haven’t thought about in a long time come rushing back.
I last talked to Liam five years ago, and it still hurts like it happened yesterday.
We had become the best of friends, and we promised—he promised—that just because I had to move away, we would never lose what we had.
They say long distance is hard, but I didn’t listen, naively thinking our friendship could weather anything.
It didn’t exactly help that on my birthday, we had a fight.
He didn’t call when he said he would, and I was hurt and jealous that he was moving on.
That if he missed something as big as my birthday, how much more till he forgot about me completely?
Yet, what hurt the most is that the door was never fully closed.
Tears gather in my eyes, but I refuse to cry about this. It’s been years, and I was just a little girl who believed in promises, in Liam.
Now, I don’t believe in either of those things.
I was hurt after our fight and made the mistake of blocking him. I undid it after a couple days, feeling ashamed of myself. I gave him a chance to contact me after, but he didn’t, and that sent the message loud and clear.
Then, when Mom started working at the firm, she met Josh.
He convinced her that our other service provider was horrible, which wasn’t too inaccurate.
Mom didn’t have a lot of connections when Dad died, so she isolated herself.
A fresh start, she said. And after many nights of me crying for hours, I asked for a new number along with her.
Eventually, I stopped caring and moved on. I had a new life and new friends. Thing is, I never once thought I’d be thrust back to the place I’d been trying to escape.