CHAPTER TWENTY #2
“So, I became who I am with everyone else. A jerk. An emotionless prick because I couldn’t handle it when you left the first time.
A second time would finish me off, yet all you have to do is look at me .
. .” Her eyes raise to mine as she stands slowly, and I chuckle sadly, pathetically, as I move closer to her.
“And I physically can’t keep going through with it.
You just look at me with those eyes I’d looked into for years, and the last thing I wanna do is stay away from you.
” I swallow harshly. “Even with the risk that I might get hurt again.”
I’m breathing heavily, my lungs can’t get enough oxygen, and she hasn’t said a single word.
“Tell me right now if you want me to stay out of your way. That you want me to act like I don’t know you.
That we’re strangers. And I’ll honor it, I swear I will.
Because even after all this time . . . I’d still do just about anything for you. ” Her mouth drops open at that.
Sam squirms slightly, probably feeling the tension, and I sit back down, rubbing his head, his body loosening up instantly. I run my hand through his fur, my eyes not wanting to meet Bianca’s even after she sits next to me . Her body heat is so close, it could engulf me if I wanted it to.
“Liam,” she says, and my head snaps up, her face the picture of every emotion all wrapped into one. She looks conflicted, scared, hurt—and each one breaks my heart more than the last. I brace myself for the impact of her words, for her to hammer in the last nail of my coffin . . . when she hugs me.
Her arms wrap around as best as they can and I freeze.
In one moment, she’s squeezing me, and in the next, I’m wrapping my arms around her.
She smells of coconut and sunny days, and my goodness, have I missed that smell.
It’s something so uniquely her. Something I’ve never forgotten.
The hug feels like it lasts for an eternity and it heals something in me that’s been broken for a long time, but then she pulls back.
“I’m sorry.” Two words. Words that will either put on a Band-Aid and heal my heart, or shatter it more than it already is.
“I haven’t been acting great either. I realized I wasn’t truly over things that happened forever ago, and now, seeing you having friends and doing everything we said we would, and the whole thing with Va .
. .” Her voice cracks slightly, and a sour taste starts in my mouth and I look down.
“It kind of brought back the jealousy I felt all those years ago,” she whispers.
She felt jealous?
“You were calling less, and when we did talk, you’d tell me all about how the football guys were accepting you. I was so happy, don’t get me wrong . . .” She trails off. “I was scared that one day you’d leave me behind. I mean, where would I fit in your new life?”
I shake my head. “You were my whole life. I tried out for the team because you believed in me. I didn’t even spend that much time with them because I wanted to hang out with you.” I blow out a breath at how she didn’t understand how much I cared about her.
How much I still do.
“I was jealous too, you know.” Her body angles toward mine, and her face is more confused than shocked.
“You were always talking about your new friends, about Jamie. I just—you had already left physically.” I shrug.
“I thought I was gonna have to say goodbye to my best friend once more.” Tears well in her eyes, and I don’t dare maintain eye contact. I confess, “I’m sorry for what I said.”
She chuckles sadly. “I’m sorry for what I said.
” She puts her hands over mine, her fingers wrapping around mine tightly.
“I’m sorry you felt like that. And about telling you to stay away .
. . I won’t tell you to.” My heart beats rapidly.
“I’ve missed you, Liam Parker, a lot. Every memory I have of this place—Los Angeles—has you smack-dab in the middle of it.
” I chuckle and she smiles. “I don’t want you to stay away.
Please don’t. I didn’t mean what I said back at Mella Colta. ”
I shift closer and place my finger under her chin.
She raises it slightly and I look deep into her alluring eyes.
“Even when you didn’t want me, I was there.
” She looks at me confused, but I push through.
“You have always got me. Always. Best friends, forever and ever, remember?” I hold out my pinky, reciting the promise we made all those years ago fresh in my mind.
She smiles and wraps hers around mine, the same words leaving her mouth with utter gentleness.
My eyes trace her face, memorizing it, feeling that if I blink, she’ll fade away.
The slope of her nose, the little dots scattered across it, some stray outliers on her chin and upper lip.
I raise my hand, my fingertips aching to trace the small dots across her face.
She leans into my touch, and I swear, she moves even closer.
Her beachy scent comes back to envelop me, creating a buzz around my senses.
Her lips are a breath away from my own and her eyes are hooding slightly.
My eyes flick down to her lips before they shoot right back to her eyes, and I can’t help the strangled whisper that leaves me.
“Freckles.”
The once-beloved nickname I had for her.
One she loved to hear all those years ago causes her to flinch now.
She blinks rapidly, pulling back. “Um, it’s getting late.
” She looks down at Sam, his head propped up as if he knows that it’s time to go back to his kennel.
She doesn’t make an effort to move and neither do I.
She keeps petting him, and I keep my hand still, because after a bit .
. . Her hand hits mine and she looks up at me.
How is it that I wanted to hate her for letting me go? For forgetting about me—damn it, us—for five years, and yet my heart wants to give itself back to her, the scar of her leaving the first time very much prominent.
Her phone vibrates and she looks down at it, sighing.
“Mom says she’s picking me up late, and Josh is too busy, apparently.
” She practically spits his name and my body lights up in protectiveness.
The words he told her the other day haven’t left my mind, and if he wasn’t Ms. Kate’s fiancé, I would’ve confronted him then and there.
She runs her hand through her hair and it cascades back down. Her natural brown color fights against the blonde. Personally, I love the brown, always have, but she looks so pretty either way. A small smile blooms on my face and her eyes narrow slightly as she looks at me.
I stand, shaking my head, holding out my hand for her, and with a raised eyebrow, she takes it. “C’mon, I’ll drive you home.” Her words of protest die on her tongue as I stop her with a raised hand. “You’re on my way, and I’m not gonna leave you here by yourself.”
She closes her mouth, and after a bit, she nods, and we both look down at Sam as he looks up at us curiously. “What about the rest of your shift?”
She doesn’t know I finished, but even if I hadn’t, she can’t really think I would leave her here, right?
She bumps into my chest, and my hands cup her face lightly, giving her the option to back away if I’m crossing a line.
Thankfully, she lets me put them there, and I lock my eyes with hers.
For a bit, I remember all the times I used this exact gesture to calm her down.
“I’m taking you home. Okay?”
Her inhale is sharp, but her eyes seem to soften. The warmth she carries in that big heart of hers fills them, and it’s finally directed toward me.
A small whine takes us out of our bubble, and my hands drop as we chuckle lightly. Sam stares up at us and I bend over to scratch the top of his head. “I hate leaving you here too, buddy.”
“Sam’s got your heart, huh?” she asks, and I almost, almost laugh at the irony in the question. “He’s got mine too.”
After putting him in his kennel, Bianca throws a fluffy blanket over him, causing a chuckle to leave my lips. I hold the exit door open for her and she slides in when we get to the car. I slip in behind the wheel and give her a little time as she geeks out. “You like it?”
She gives me a stunned look. “Duh, BMWs are my weakness, and the white is a great choice.” I duck my head at that, a blush roaring its way up to my face, and I thank goodness it’s dark right now. I drum my fingers nervously before I ease out of the parking lot, my mind preparing for the highway.
“You think?” I ask.
“Yeah, this is my literal dream car,” she mumbles, and for a fleeting moment, my heart jumps at the idea of this car being hers one day. But I pull myself back to reality.
Scanning her to see if she’s fidgeting as we drive, I say, “We have to focus on getting you your permit first.” I cross into the middle lane as we get close to our exit, and I try with all my might to avoid potholes.
Flitting my eyes to hers, she has her arms crossed, looking at me with the cutest expression.
“We?”
I shrug. “I could teach you.” Throwing it out there, I say nothing else as we drive to her house.
A couple of weeks ago, we were in this same situation, but it feels different somehow.
I feel light, happy, almost giddy. She’s here and she trusts me even with her fear of being in cars.
We don’t talk about the near kiss, and I don’t want to push her.
I merge into the right lane, the perfect opportunity to get another glance at her, and warmth blooms within me.
Yeah, she’s worth the wait. I’ve always known she’s worth everything.