23. Chapter 23 #2
“No. I’ll be back in a couple of days. I need to head to the District to hash out plans. This next assignment will be more dangerous, and I need to be well-prepared. Malik says that they have the targets. It’s only a matter of getting in there.”
“When will you finally… kill them?”
“Hopefully, by tomorrow. I can’t just go in there immediately with guns blazing.”
He was right. I had thought he did that very thing when we first met, but Angel told me a lot of planning went into it, which made sense. What did I know? I wasn’t a trained killer.
“I’ll miss you.”
He kissed my forehead. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way to get you. Call me if there’s an emergency, but as usual, when I’m on the job, I’ll have my phone turned off. If you can’t reach me, call Sid.”
I gave him one more kiss. “I love you.”
Before I could hear him not say the words, I left the car and opened the back door to let Cleo out.
Angel insisted I bring her as extra protection.
I walked to the front door with the dog at my side and rang the bell.
Angel waited for me until my mother opened the door and let me in. Then he drove off.
An hour later, my mother drove us to Tyson’s Corner in McLean to shop. When I told her I wanted to change my style, she jumped at the opportunity to help me. I wanted something darker and grungier to match my Angel.
As we drove along the highway, there wasn’t much to look at other than trees and buildings.
“How are you… doing? With him gone, I mean,” I asked. I couldn’t even bring myself to call him Dad or Father, but I figured I should make an attempt to talk to her.
She quickly glanced over at me and frowned.
“I’m… not sure. I’ve been in therapy over it.
Don’t worry, I’ve been careful, sticking with the story they told me, but…
I’m still struggling. I should be glad he’s dead, but we were together a long time, and we lived in this lie I didn’t know about.
It’s been hard wrapping my mind around what he did to you.
I’m also very angry, and I think if I had the gun, I would’ve been the one to pull the trigger. ”
“I hate him, and I’m glad he’s dead.”
She sighed and reached for me but thought better of it, placing her hand back on the steering wheel.
“Luca?”
“What?”
“Do you… really have to be with that… man? He tortures and kills for a living.” She blew out a laugh and shook her head. “Listen to me. It’s like I’m talking about an average person. A mother shouldn’t have to ask her son if he really wants to date a murderer.”
“Well, I’m not a normal son. You know what you’re getting into with me.”
“I didn’t mean… I just worry. He’s a dangerous man, and he could get you killed.”
I twisted in my seat to look at her with a sense of anger and a need to protect my angel.
Not with bullets, but words. “I know what he is and what he does, and I don’t care.
He is everything to me. He saved me. I spent eleven years surrounded by evil men, using me, abusing me, and treating me like I was just property.
I was just property. Ang—Dante is a saint compared to them.
And he’s good to me. He cares about how I feel or if I’m hurting. ”
She quickly nodded. “Of course. I know he helped you when he didn’t have to. He just… scares me.”
I glanced back out the window as she pulled into the parking garage of the mall.
“There are scary monsters in the world wearing the masks of men. Only a monster can truly defeat another monster. He couldn’t have saved me if he were a saint.
If I hired him to defeat my enemies, then I’m a killer, too.
Maybe I don’t kill with my hands, but Dante is my angel of vengeance.
He is not only my lover but my weapon. But I did kill Father, and I killed the man who threatened my angel. I’m not innocent.”
My mother said nothing until she pulled into a space and put the car in park.
Before we got out, she touched my arm to stop me from leaving.
“I’ve been living a blind life, Luca. I grew up in a bubble, cocooned by wealth.
While you’ve told me some of the horrors you went through…
” She sniffed and held back the tears as she stared out at the windshield.
“Living them is quite different from hearing them. What you went through… I’d give anything to have been the one they took.
To have you safe at home and to remain innocent as long as possible.
Your biggest worry should have been a girlfriend or a boyfriend or what college you were going to get into.
I’m… so sorry, Luca. I realize it may not mean much, but I feel…
inept. Useless. All I want is to have you back in my life, just as you are.
I want you to live and be happy.” She looked back at me as a few tears spilled. “Tell me what to do. I… don’t know.”
She had done her best to be strong around me, and while I understood she was trying, I hadn’t realized how much or that she was clueless as to what to do with me.
I hadn’t exactly made it easy on her, either.
It was hard for me to form a bond with her.
But if she could try, then so could I. I reached for her and gave her a hug.
“It’s just going to take some time, but I’ll try.”
She gasped through a sob and nodded on my shoulder. “Thank you.”