Chapter 18 Tatiana
TATIANA
The dice tumble across the green felt and I hold my breath waiting to see where they land, and…
seven. The shooter busts and everyone at the table groans.
I've been standing here for twenty minutes watching other people play while trying to keep my mind occupied with anything except the fact that I'm trapped in this casino with a babysitter following my every move.
Lazar stands three feet behind me with his arms crossed and his eyes watching every move I make in this crowd. He's as annoying as my shadow. I can't get away from him even to urinate alone. It's ridiculous.
"You playing or just watching?" The dealer looks at me expectantly.
"Playing." I push chips forward and pick up the dice when they're handed to me.
My first roll is a four. I roll again, trying to hit the point, but I get a six instead. The dice feel slippery in my sweaty palms, and I wipe them on my jeans before throwing again.
Another six. Then a nine. Then finally a four, and the table cheers. I've made my point and won back what I bet plus a little extra. The dealer pushes chips toward me, and I scoop them up without counting them.
"Nice roll." The man next to me grins. "You've got good luck today."
I don't feel lucky. I feel like a caged animal looking for any crack in the bars that might let me escape.
I place bets, but the whole time, I'm looking for a way out.
If Lazar would only let his guard down, I could slip away easily and fade into the crowd where he can't track me.
But the man is a fucking leach. I have to give him credit. He's good at his job.
Three more rounds and I'm up fifty dollars. The other players are excited because I keep making my point, and I'm still just as bored and stuck as I was two hours ago when I came down here to try to distract myself. It's not working, though, and I don't even like this game.
"I'm done," I tell them, and I start collecting my chips to cash out.
I have no idea what to do next. I definitely don't want to go back to Dimitri's penthouse to just sit there bored out of my skull doing nothing.
Lazar will never let me go tend to business that I need to, like talking to my landlord to make sure he's fixed the door and locked my place up, or visiting Lena in the hospital.
The only thing I know that I'm allowed to do that will reliably eat up my time and make my mind focus on anything other than being trapped and hostilely shadowed is work, which has the power to ruin any day.
I haven't worked on the floor now for long enough that it's easy to justify the crude behavior of the men I'll be serving as a valid means to busy my anxious mind.
"I'm going to work." I stand up from the table and turn to face Lazar. "My shift starts in ten minutes."
"Boss said your job is in his penthouse." Lazar doesn't move. "What're you gonna do up there?" He stares at me with a dumb expression, almost a smirk, and I roll my eyes at him.
"He said I could work if I wanted to." I start walking toward the employee area.
"And I want to. I'm going crazy sitting around doing nothing… I’m gonna talk to Linda and see if she needs help on the floor, so you can follow me if you want or not, but if you try to stop me, I'll scream rape and you'll have a thousand eyes watching what you do. " I wouldn't really do that.
How would I explain to the police? Tell them Dimitri Gravitch is holding me hostage because I witnessed a murder on his property that he's trying to cover up? I'm sure his entire family would love that. I'd be running from two different Mobs then.
Lazar follows, but I can tell he's not happy about it by the way his shoulders are squared and the half-glower, half-scowl he has on his resting bitch face.
"I'll need to stay with you," he grumbles when I smirk at him and turn to walk away.
He follows on my heel across the floor, weaving through the tables with me until we're in the staff area, and when we get to the hallway to the locker rooms, I turn and stop, leaning on the women’s locker-room door.
"You can't come into the employee locker room." I push through the door and let it sink inward with my weight as a plan starts to form. "It's women only."
"Then I'll wait outside." He stops at the entrance and glares at me as he peeks over my shoulder. I hear women in there snickering, and I know they'll pitch a huge fit if he tries to come in like he did at the restrooms earlier. "Don't take too long."
The door swings shut behind me, and I see him glare at me through the small round window as I turn and round the corner.
The women barely look up at me. I've never seen them before. They must be new, probably people to replace me since I’m not working the floor anymore.
It makes sense anyway, and since they don't know me, they don't care what I’m doing.
I go straight to the back where I know there's a window.
I've never paid much attention to it because when I'm in here, it's to use the toilet or change for work.
But today, I want to know if it can be my escape.
Sadly, the window doesn't open. It's made of thick glass that's fogged from age and exposure to elements and I can't even see out fully, besides the fact that it's so high up, I have to push one of the trash cans up to it in order to reach it.
It frustrates me for a second, but I get the bright idea to break it.
The trash can is light enough to lift, but hard enough to potentially break the glass, so I pick it up and launch it at the glass, only to watch it bounce right off.
Not once, but twice. It's pointless. This window isn’t going to break, and now those girls are just staring at me.
"You okay?" one asks, narrowing her eyes as the other one chuckles.
"Peachy," I grumble. Ignoring them, I go to my locker and pull out my nametag and swipe badge. The jeans I'm wearing will have to do, and the blouse isn't company policy, but Linda will just have to deal with it today. I'll tell her Dimitri said I can dress how I want now. That'll keep her quiet.
Then I feel my pocket—cell phone, cash from the payout on craps, and my lip balm.
I'm ready.
I'll just have to dodge Lazar a different way.
Through the small window in the door, I can see him standing in the hallway talking to another security guard. They're laughing about something and not paying attention to the door at all. I can see the clear pathway from where I'm at to the back door and I can almost taste freedom.
So the window didn't break. If I can get past him to the back door, I know I can outrun him. And he's so engrossed in whatever it is they're talking about, I know if I move quickly and quietly, I could walk right behind him.
This is my shot to stick it to Dimitri and do this my way. I just have to get to the bus stop, then take the city bus to the train station and get a ticket. I'll be home by tomorrow. I can do this.
As Lazar laughs, I open the door quietly. The hinges squeak but not badly, and I manage to time my movements just as a server walks out of the kitchen. My heart flutters as I rush out in front of her using her movements to mask mine, and I don’t look back over my shoulder once.
When I get to the back door having not heard Lazar shout my name or any other commotion, my hand closes around the door handle, but I pause for just a second wondering if this is actually a good idea.
Dimitri isn't a monster, just overbearing.
And I know for a fact the men who killed Dimitri's friend are murderers.
They really will kill me. But I won't sit back and let Dimitri boss me around and control me.
So I had sex with him. He doesn't own me.
I want to go home, and it's my right to go where I want, even if it is a stupid risk just to get there.
I push the door open and step out into the alley.
I don't have time to sit around debating.
I start walking fast toward the main street, past where the caution tape has now been removed.
I don't run because running draws attention, and if Dimitri's men are watching on the cameras, they'll see me, but I move as quickly as I can without looking suspicious.
The alley opens onto a main street, and I turn left heading away from the casino.
When I get there and no one has shouted my name or come after me, I suck in a deep breath of relief because I made it.
I'm out of his grasp and no one is chasing me.
I don't think anyone is following me, either, and if I just get to the train station, I'm home free.
Those men aren't going to chase me to Ukraine to keep me quiet.
They'll be happy I'm not talking to the police.
The bus stop is empty, but that's normal for this time of day.
Most folks travel home from work later into the evening, not now, so it's likely even the bus will be mostly vacant.
I stand watching up the street for the large yellow letters that flash across the bus's windshield when my phone starts to ring.
I pull it out and see an unknown number and stare at it.
No one really calls me except work or Lena, and every once in a while, my mother calls.
The only other person who calls me is my cousin, but since he took a job at a horse track, I haven't heard from him.
My finger hovers over the decline button, but something makes me answer it anyway.
"Hello?"
"Tatiana." The voice is weak and raspy, and it takes me a second to recognize it.
"Arseniy?" I can barely hear him but it sounds like him. "Is that you?"
"Yeah." He coughs, and the sound is wet and painful. "I'm in the hospital."
His words make the hair on my arms rise. "Oh, my God, what happened? Are you okay?" The feeling of dread rushes from my chest downward into my legs and weakens my knees, so I lean against the post with the bus stop sign on it.
His breathing sounds labored, raspy even, like he has a chest cold or pneumonia. "Some guys… Strong ones… They attacked me, Tati. And they knew you."
I slide down the post until I'm sitting on the sidewalk. "Oh, my God. Arseniy, I'm so sorry. This is my fault." If I weren’t so suddenly terrified, I'd be crying. Anyone who knows my cousin knows he's the sweetest soul alive. Arseniy wouldn't hurt a flea. Who would do this to someone?
"They gave me a message to pass to you." He coughs again, and I hear him groan in pain. "They said if you don't turn yourself in, they're going to kill everyone you care about."
"Turn myself in?" My voice shakes. "What does that mean?"
"I don't know." He sounds like he's crying. "Tati, what happened? What's going on? Who are those men?" He's as scared as I am. I hear it in his voice. This isn’t fair. I didn't do anything wrong and they're acting like I’m the one who murdered someone.
"I saw something I shouldn't have." I hug my knees and shiver though it's warm outside. "I witnessed a murder, and now they want to make sure I can't testify."
"Then give them what they want." His voice breaks. "Please. I can't take another beating like this. And they said they're going to your mother next."
My entire body goes cold. "They know where my mother lives?"
"They know everything." Arseniy coughs again. "They showed me pictures of her house. They know what time she leaves for work every morning. They're watching her, Tatiana."
I press my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. If I go to Ukraine, they'll just follow me. If I stay here, they'll kill Arseniy and everyone else I care about. There's no way out that doesn't end with someone I love getting hurt.
"I'm sorry," I choke out. "I'm so sorry I got you involved in this."
"Just do what they want." He sounds exhausted. "Please…"
The line goes dead, and I sit there on the sidewalk with my phone pressed against my ear and tears streaming down my face. People walk past me without stopping. I'm just another woman having a breakdown in public, which is nothing unusual in this city.
I'm stuck. I have nowhere to run or hide from these people. Dimitri was right. The only place I'm safe is with him where he can protect me from the people trying to kill me, but obviously, that doesn't extend to the people I love.
Dimitri is a powerful man, but I'm not sure even he can protect my mother. I have to tell him what happened to Arseniy and I have to find out what I can do to make sure my family isn't hunted down over this.
I force myself to stand up, though my legs feel like they might give out, and I head back toward the casino.
If I run now, I'm just cementing my fate and taking innocent people with me.
It's not like I’m going to "turn myself in" to whoever this is—Dimitri called them Kozlovs.
But running won't solve the problem either.
I’m stuck in my head feeling trapped by the situation, and by the time I reach the employee entrance, I'm moving on autopilot.
I feel hollow and the tears won't stop coming.
Lazar is standing outside the door looking furious.
He spots me the second I turn the corner and strides toward me with his hand already reaching for my arm.
"Where the hell did you go?" He grabs me hard and yanks me toward the door. "I've been looking everywhere for you."
"I just needed air," I mumble. "I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" He starts dragging me back into the building. "The boss is gonna kill me when he finds out I lost you."
"Don't tell him." I try to pull my arm free, but his grip tightens. "Please," I whimper, but Lazar might as well be superglued to me. He has no intention of letting me break physical contact with him, and after being shadowed all day, this is even worse.
We take the elevator up to the penthouse and Lazar uses his key card to unlock the door. He shoves me inside with more force than necessary, and I stumble before catching myself on the couch, wincing and scowling.
"Ass," I grumble.
"Stay here." He points at me like I'm a disobedient dog. "And don't even think about trying to leave again."
The door slams behind him and I hear the lock click into place. Then I sink onto the couch and lie down, using the arm rest as a pillow. Dimitri will be pissed when I tell him what I did, but I'm finally starting to see how dangerous this is and why I should listen to him.
I don’t trust him, but I can admit he knows more about this than me.
Now if I can ask for his help, maybe he'll help protect my family too. I haven't even spoken to Arseniy in months, which means these people have done their research and no matter what I try to do, I'm screwed.
I only hope it's not so bad at this point that Dimitri's hands are tied too.