Chapter 13 Sienna
SIENNA
The ice in my glass clinked as I took another sip while reclining on the rooftop sofa.
The sun had set an hour ago, but the New York summer air was still sticky.
Ever since Sofiya moved into the building, the rooftop set up had gotten increasingly elaborate.
In addition to the seating area complete with couches, string lights, and a fire pit, we now had raised beds with flowers and veggies and a mini playground for Clem.
Soft music played from the Bluetooth speaker.
My hand rested on my belly and I stared at the stars.
Four days had passed since I’d wrapped up my pregnancy test in about a full roll of toilet paper before depositing it in Fifth and Quart’s bathroom trashcan.
Dante and Enzo had driven me home and brought in the armful of garment bags filled with whatever June had chosen for me.
They were piled on the chair in the corner of my bedroom.
I didn’t have the energy or desire to even look at what she’d picked out.
All I could think about was the little life growing inside me.
Apparently, little baby was currently the size of a lentil.
It was amazing something so small could have the power to turn my life upside down.
The creak of metal had me sighing. I’d been hiding from everyone, but apparently my time was up.
Sofiya and Juliet made their way towards me with determined expressions. Juliet lifted a bottle of wine and a large Tupperware container in greeting.
Sofiya parked her wheelchair by the couch and plopped down next to me.
“Please, make yourself at home,” I said dryly.
Juliet squeezed in on my other side. “Oh, so you don’t want any cookies?”
My stomach growled, and Juliet smirked. Traitorous little Lentil.
I grabbed a stack of cookies, but when Juliet offered me a glass of wine, I held up my sparkling lemonade in refusal.
Sofiya reached over me to grab the wine instead. “Okay, spill.”
“Spill what?”
Both friends fixed me with unintimidating glares.
“Why have you been avoiding us?” Juliet’s soft question put a small fracture in my already sore heart. I leaned my head against her shoulder. The second I told them, all of this would become real. I had wanted a few days alone with my Lentil before I had to say goodbye.
Sofiya squeezed my hand. “You can tell us anything.”
“You won’t tell the guys?” I asked.
“Hell no,” Juliet snorted.
I glanced at Sofiya. It was her agreement I really needed because Matteo could not find out.
“Of course not,” she said. “Chicks before dicks, or whatever the saying is.”
A smile twisted my lips. “Ahh yes, the classic saying.” I took a deep breath and downed the rest of my drink before setting my glass on the table in front of me. “I’m pregnant.”
Sofiya did a literal spit-take and Juliet jerked back with a garbled screech.
“Either this is an immaculate conception situation or there’s a lot you haven’t told us,” Sofiya said as she wiped up the wine she’d spewed everywhere.
“I may have left out a few details of my Paris trip.”
“Might?” Juliet scoffed. “You have a whole Parisian boyfriend and don’t tell us?”
I pulled some threads from the sofa cushion. “I don’t have a Parisian boyfriend.”
Juliet inhaled sharply, her eyebrows scrunched with concern. “Did someone hurt you?”
“Nothing like that,” I said quickly. “All consensual. It was just a one-night stand. Or two-night.” I shrugged like I hadn’t shed actual tears for Declan, the ghost.
“How did you meet?” Sofiya asked.
“After we finished the hacking job, I might have stayed in Paris for a couple of extra days. Alone. Then maybe I went to a club Leona recommended where I spotted a handsome stranger with an Irish accent and spent the next two days with him.”
“Wow,” Juliet breathed. “I…wow.”
“And to be clear, we used condoms every time.”
“And how many times was that?” Juliet waggled her eyebrows. I shoved her, but couldn’t hide my smile.
“How have you been feeling?” Sofiya asked.
“Tired as fuck, some morning sickness, but nothing major yet.”
“But he was good to you?” she asked, covering my hand with hers.
“Yeah. He really was.” A lump lodged in my throat and tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I shoved a cookie into my mouth. My friends curled up beside me, patient as I waited for the wave of emotion to subside. “He left the second night while I was sleeping.”
“Asshole,” Juliet muttered.
“We will kill him,” Sofiya added.
I stared up at the night sky. The city lights made it hard to see the stars, but a few of them were there, dotting the night sky. “At least I have the best sisters in the world.”
“We’re here for you, no matter what.” Juliet pressed another cookie into my hands. “So…have you talked to him since Paris?”
I absentmindedly rubbed my chest. “We didn’t exchange numbers.”
Sofiya shot me a look that very clearly said as if that’s ever stopped you.
“Okay, yes, I did try to track him down, but I can’t find a trace of him.”
“You can’t find him? Elite hacker I-can-find-anyone-in-the-world Sienna can’t track him down?”
I chewed my lip. “He must have given me a fake name. I tried all the usual things, but he’s like a ghost.” It had been driving me crazy.
I had never failed to find someone before.
Not that it mattered. Not that I would contact him even if I did find him.
I just…it was a loose end. A puzzle I wanted to solve.
“When are you planning to tell Matteo?” Sofiya asked.
“I’m not.” She cocked an eyebrow, and I forged ahead. “I’m going to make the appointment tomorrow to get rid of—” I trailed off. My eyes squeezed shut, hiding me away from the world. I wished I could stay in this velvet darkness forever, where no one and nothing could hurt me.
“Oh.” Sofiya exhaled softly and gently rubbed my arm. “Is that what you want?”
Her question hung in the air. How was I supposed to answer?
Juliet’s hands wrapped around my arm, and she curled into my shoulder. “If it is, we’ll support you one hundred percent. Just say the word.”
My throat was too tight to speak, but they didn’t push me. The sounds of the city danced around us, vibrant and alive in the distance.
“What’s the alternative?”
My friends squeezed in tighter, and Juliet managed to throw a blanket over the three of us with her one free hand.
“Do you want to be a mom?” Juliet’s question brought about a surge of longing so intense it took my breath away. A tear leaked down my cheek. As much as I wanted to deny it, I couldn’t.
“I don’t know that it matters what I want.”
“Of course it does,” Sofiya said fiercely.
I was sure she wanted that to be true, but she had grown up in a world similar to mine—one where a woman’s virginity defined her world.
The Italians might have even been more strongly opposed to unwed mothers than the Bratva.
Made Men could leave a sea of bastards in their wake and it would only bolster their reputations, but it was the death knell for the women.
What if the capos used my mistake as a reason to question my brother’s authority as Don?
Just yesterday, I’d overheard Sofiya’s bodyguard, Angelo, telling Dante that Umberto Lagana, my least favorite of all the capos, had spoken against Matteo at a recent meeting.
He disapproved of our new alliances with the Irish and the Bratva and had shouted about Italian supremacy.
Umberto despised me almost as much as I did him, and he would definitely use my pregnancy to stir up dissension.
I wouldn’t be responsible for a battle inside the Family, especially not one that could risk the people I loved the most.
Sofiya frowned the entire time I explained the intricacies of Mafia politics to Juliet, but she didn’t argue with me. She knew I was right, no matter how much we hated it. Juliet, on the other hand, grew more outraged with every passing minute.
“Fuck that,” she snarled. “I’m sorry, but if that’s how this world works, it’s stupid.
You are a human being, Sienna. No one gets to tell you what to do with your body or punish you for your choices.
Especially not a group of stuffy men. Whether or not you serve an eviction notice is completely up to you. ”
The corner of my lips tipped up. “An eviction?”
She shrugged. “Whatever you want to call it. It’s your choice.”
“Maybe.” I let out a deep breath and rested my head on her shoulder. “Maybe.”