Chapter 45 Sienna
SIENNA
“What are you hiding? What is going on?”
I scowled at Maxim over my clipboard. I was filling out the forms for my maternal fetal medicine appointment. At least, I was trying to, but he would not stop with his questions.
“I told you, this is a routine appointment. You’re stressing me out,” I snapped.
Maxim muttered something under his breath and crossed his arms like a petulant child.
He’d been instantly suspicious when I told him I had a doctor’s appointment.
He wanted to know why we were going to a new office and hadn’t believed me when I said this was a normal test everyone had when they were pregnant.
I wasn’t the best liar to begin with, but it was even harder to sound convincing when I was on the verge of throwing up or passing out from anxiety.
The doctor had gotten me in quickly. My anatomy scan had been exactly one week ago, but each day had felt like agony.
I’d barely slept. Polina shoving food in my hand was the only reason I’d been eating regularly.
Everyone in the house was tense, and my husband was missing completely.
Whatever this Bratva threat was, it was putting everyone on edge.
Four men had accompanied us to this appointment.
Sergey, Aleksei, and Konstantin were stationed in and around the clinic building while Maxim stuck to my side.
Sofiya
I finished knitting Dimi’s Christmas sweater. Want to see??
Juliet
it’s spectacular
Mila
omg yesss I’m so excited to see all the guys in their sweaters!
I quickly closed out of our group chat and slipped my phone in my bag.
I’d been so close to telling them about the ultrasound so many times, but I just couldn’t get the words out.
Especially when they were all so excited about us spending Christmas in Chicago together.
Dimitri had finally given Mila and Nikolai permission to return to the house for Christmas as long as they agreed to go to a new safe house afterwards.
My usual Christmas excitement was nowhere to be found.
I’d been trying to work on getting the guest rooms ready, but the dark cloud over my head made it impossible to make decisions or keep a train of thought.
The only thing bringing me any happiness these days was feeling my little Sweet Potato moving around more and more every day.
..and the fact that the neon sign was still on Dimitri’s bedroom wall.
I should have removed it. That would be the smart thing to do if I were trying to appease him.
But…I couldn’t bring myself to regret that part of the prank. It was funny, and he deserved it.
The nurse called my name and I slowly pushed out of my chair. God, it was like I was a million years old. Maxim walked back with me in silence. He checked the exam room before taking his position outside the door.
The nurse introduced herself and took my vitals. I answered her questions, nodded when I needed to, but it felt like someone else had taken over my body while I curled up in a dark corner of my mind and screamed.
I blinked, and the cardiac sonographer was in the room. I lay back on the table. She put the ultrasound gel on my skin.
“This scan of your baby’s heart usually takes between forty-five minutes and ninety minutes. There might be times I ask you to adjust your position to see your baby better. Let me know if you need a break at any point.”
The whooshing sound filled the room. A large TV screen on the opposite wall displayed the image, but my eyes stayed fixed on the ceiling.
There were one hundred and twenty-one full ceiling tiles and three half-tiles.
Seven of them had brown water stains. A butterfly mobile hung from the ceiling.
There were fifty-seven blue butterflies and twenty-one pink ones.
To my right, a huge framed picture of three otters stared straight at my belly.
My brow furrowed. What was it with the otter pictures?
This looked like it could be part of the same series as the one in my OBGYN’s office.
Did otters love babies? Ultrasounds? Staring at vaginas?
They were really cute, though.
“Alright, we are all done.” The sonographer smiled as she handed me a stack of paper towels. Was she smiling because it was good news? Or was this a consolation smile?
“The doctor will review the ultrasound and then she’ll be in to talk with you. Do you need anything? The bathroom is just across the hall.”
I shook my head.
“Okay. Dr. Larsson shouldn’t be too long.”
I glimpsed Maxim’s back when the sonographer slipped out of the room.
The floor tiles were smaller than the ceiling tiles. There were seventy-seven full tiles, eight partial tiles, and two spots where the pattern was lined up incorrectly.
Minutes ticked by.
The blood pressure cuff hung from the wall. I curled the long length of tubing around my fingers. Winding and unwinding.
I slipped the cuff on and pumped it up. I released the air, watching the little dial even though I had no idea what I was looking for.
Pump up the cuff.
Release the air.
Little spinning dial.
My feet swinging against the table.
Thump thump.
Thump thump thump thump.
Halfway through pulling on latex gloves, there was a knock at the door. I froze. The doctor, a blonde-haired woman with rainbow-colored glasses, entered.
“Hi, Mrs. Ivanova. It’s nice to meet you.
I’m Dr. Larsson.” She held out her hand, and I went to shake it before realizing I was still wearing the blue glove.
Her eyebrows scrunched together but to her credit, she just smiled and sat on the rolling stool.
“I’ve had a chance to review the ultrasound from Dr. Bell as well as the echo imaging from today.
I am happy to report that your baby girl’s heart looks totally healthy. ”
Dark spots swam in my vision. The room spun. The doctor’s voice distorted. I vaguely recognized her hands on me, urging my head between my knees and rubbing my back.
“Shh, it’s okay. Take a breath for me. There we go. Nice, slow breaths.”
The ringing in my ears eased, and her words became intelligible.
“There we go. Your color’s returning. I’m going to have you lie down on the table.”
She guided me back until I was staring once again at the tile ceiling. A paper cup of cool water was pressed into my hand and I propped my head up to take a few sips.
“Well, the good news is I stayed calm,” I finally said.
Dr. Larsson patted my hand. “I’m sorry you were so anxious about coming in today. I know it can be scary.”
“But the baby is okay?” My throat was dry, my voice a hoarse whisper.
“Yes, everything looks perfect.”
My eyes drifted shut as her words slowly sank in. “Her heart is really okay?”
“Yes. The way your baby was positioned during the anatomy scan made it look like there could be a gap in the wall dividing the heart chambers, but everything looks just as it should be on the echo.”
I slowly pushed up to a seated position, too relieved to feel embarrassed about my almost-fainting fit. “That’s good. Really good.” Tears dripped down my cheeks and I wiped them away with my shirt sleeve. Dr. Larsson handed me the tissue box.
“Since you don’t need a cardiologist, you can continue your regular prenatal appointments with Dr. Bell.”
That was the best news I’d heard in a long time.
I hopped off the exam table and gave her a watery smile. She returned it with an amused smile of her own before giving my hands a pointed look.
“Oh, right.” I removed the glove and tossed it into the trash can, and then followed her out of the room to where Maxim waited.
“I’m going to run to the bathroom,” I mumbled before he could start with his questions again.
The moment the bathroom door closed behind me, my hands started shaking. A low whimper escaped my throat as I pulled out my phone and called Sofiya.
“Hey! I was just thinking about you. I’m making cinnamon rolls and wishing you were here.”
I opened my mouth, but all that came out was a sob.
“Sienna? What’s wrong?” Her voice was tight and urgent.
I tried to form words, but none came out.
“Are you safe? Are you being attacked?”
What a ridiculous life we lived where that was a reasonable question. “I’m okay,” I choked out.
“Okay, honey. Just tell me when you’re ready.”
I didn’t know how long it took for my tears to stop, but Sofiya was there the entire time. She didn’t rush me, just kept up a string of soothing words. I latched onto them, holding tight to the lifeline she offered.
“Sorry.” I sniffed. “I didn’t think I would start crying like that.”
“Don’t apologize. What’s going on?”
“Everything is okay. I just got finished with a doctor’s appointment.
” My lower lip started trembling again, and I sucked it between my teeth.
“At my anatomy scan last week, they thought they saw a problem with the baby’s heart.
But she’s okay.” Another sob shook my chest, and I grabbed a huge wad of toilet paper to wipe my tears and blow my nose.
Sofiya gasped. “Baby’s heart? Wait, she? You’re having a girl?” She let out a high-pitched squeal and it was so unexpected that I let out a startled laugh. “Right, not the time. Baby girl’s heart is okay?”
“Yeah.” I let out a shuddering breath. “They referred me to maternal fetal medicine for an echocardiogram of Baby’s heart, and the doctor said everything looked perfect.”
“Oh, Sienna. I’m so glad. This week must have been awful for you.”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see. Understatement of the century. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I squeaked out. “I didn’t want to make it real.”
“I wish you had told me so I could have supported you this week. I’m over here just talking about ugly sweaters and mac and cheese recipes for Christmas when you’re going through something horrible.”
“The sweaters provided a good distraction.”
“I’m almost done with Dimitri’s and I think it might be my most spectacular design yet, so you have that to look forward to.”
My chest ached and I almost confessed everything, but I couldn’t do it. This was Sofiya’s first Christmas with both her siblings since she was a little girl. I refused to ruin that for her.
“Can I do anything to support you now?” she continued. “Do you have any more appointments before Christmas?”
“No. Nothing until the new year.” I pulled my makeup bag out of my tote, grateful I’d thought to bring it. My new waterproof mascara had really held up, though. I was impressed. “And now I feel like I can get into the Christmas spirit.”
“Only one more week until I get to see you. Are you sure you don’t need anything? Is Dimi being a good support? He’s always so steady in a crisis.”
“I can’t wait to see you, too, and I’m sure. Getting this result is the best Christmas present I could have hoped for.” A loud knock at the bathroom door made me jump. “Shoot. Sorry, I have to run before Maxim breaks down the bathroom door.”
“Okay, but you have to tell me if there are any other updates about the baby. I want daily check-ins on how you’re doing.”
“I promise.”
“And we need to talk baby names! You’re having a girl! Thank god Leona’s manifesting ritual worked. I’ve already prepped a list of girl name ideas.”
A smile tugged at my lips for the first time in a week. “I can’t wait to hear your ideas. Oh, but wait. Dimitri doesn’t know it’s a girl. I’m keeping it a surprise for him.” That totally didn’t even count as a lie.
“My lips are sealed. Love you so much.”
“Love you.”
I did a last once-over of my makeup before I emerged from the bathroom to a thunder-faced Maxim.
He gently gripped my upper arms and bent down so our eyes were level. “You need to tell me what’s happening right the fuck now.”
My heart swelled at his care and worry, and I couldn’t stop myself from pulling him into a hug. “Everything is great. I’m good, baby is good, and I need a cinnamon sugar pretzel.”
Maxim’s eyes softened. “You scared the shit out of me, Sienochka.” He studied my face. “Are you being honest with me?”
“Yes. I promise.”
“Okay. Let’s get you that pretzel, then.”
“This is not what I signed up for,” Maxim muttered.
“Oh, come on. Get in the Christmas spirit.”
I was floating on a cloud while Maxim and Lyosha trailed me around the bookstore. The pretzel sugar high made me smile as I picked out a set of notebooks for Juliet and handed them to Lyosha to carry.
“We need to get back to the house. We’re too exposed here,” Maxim muttered.
I patted his chest. “I just want to pick up some board books for Clementine, and then I’ll be good to go.”
I could do all of this shopping online, but I had been stuck in that house for so long I wasn’t about to hurry back, especially since no one would tell me what the big bad threat was.
I turned to Lyosha, mischief bubbling inside me. “Do you have anyone special you’re shopping for?”
His eyes widened like a deer in headlights before flicking to Maxim for the briefest moment.
He shook his head with a grunt, but couldn’t hide the redness spreading across his cheeks while Maxim’s jaw clenched so tight I thought he might break a tooth.
I pressed my lips together to hide my smile and bounced over to the children’s section.
I wouldn’t push them to admit their feelings. Yet.
By the time we headed to the checkout counter, my arms were filled with a tall stack of books for Clem…and a couple I’d picked up to start my baby girl’s library.