Chapter 63 Dimitri
DIMITRI
“Time to stop working, malyshka.”
My lips quirked when Sienna tore her gaze from her computer screen, looking at me with an adorable scowl. “I just have one more thing I need to look into.”
She’d gotten on a call with Aleksei first thing this morning and had been hunting the Souleater ever since.
I’d seen her have this kind of single-minded focus when I’d watched her through the security cameras, but experiencing it in person was different.
At least I was here to force her to eat and take breaks.
I shook my head. “That’s what you said an hour ago.”
She blinked up at me with an owlish expression. “That was an hour ago?”
I bracketed her body on the couch, nipping her lower lip. “Sixty-two minutes, to be exact.”
She let out a squeak of protest when I shut her laptop.
“But I’m so close. I swear, the answer is just out of reach. Just give me another hour—”
I cut her off with a kiss. “Nice try, baby. You’ll be able to figure it out better after you rest.” I snagged her laptop and set it on the coffee table. “And right now, I need to hold you.”
She grumbled but immediately melted against my chest when I sat next to her on the couch and pulled her onto my lap.
“I bet you don’t tell Aleksei he has to stop working and give you cuddles.”
I chuckled and ran my finger along her pouting lower lip. “Can’t say I have.”
“Probably for the best. There’s someone else he wants to cuddle.”
I cocked an eyebrow, but she didn’t expand and I wasn’t about to pry into the love lives of my household.
She drew in a sharp breath and grabbed my hand, pressing my palm to her belly just in time for me to feel a little kick. “She’s been kicking up a storm today. I think she’s getting crowded.”
“I can’t believe your due date is in two weeks.”
She buried her face in my neck and fisted my shirt. “Don’t remind me.”
I pressed a kiss to the top of her head so she couldn’t see the anxiety on my face. Sofiya kept sending me articles about childbirth and how to support your birthing partner, but they’d scared the shit out of me. So many horrible things could happen.
“You’ll do amazing. And I’ll be with you.”
She sighed. “I’m just not going to think about it right now.”
“Okay, baby,” I murmured.
I trailed my fingers up and down her belly, willing our baby to kick again. I had missed out on so much, and now her pregnancy was almost over. I was determined to soak up every experience remaining.
“Have you—” My question caught in my throat. Fuck. I thought my ability to be anxious had been beaten out of me, but here I was, stammering in front of my wife.
“Have I what?” Sienna’s fingers ran through my hair, instantly soothing me.
“Have you thought about names? For our girl?”
She glanced up with a smile, but then her lower lip started trembling. I cupped her face with both hands. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just so nice to hear you say that. Our girl. I tried to accept that you would never love me, but the thought of you not loving our baby…”
Her eyes squeezed shut, and all I could do was press gentle kisses down her face. My heart ached at the pain I’d caused her, the choices I could never undo.
“Sorry.” She let out a shaky laugh and wiped her eyes. “You’re just being sweet and I’m a blubbering mess. But to answer your question, I have maybe thought of some names.”
“You can always fall apart with me.” I scowled. “Except I don’t like seeing you cry.”
She kissed me with a laugh. “I’m not usually so weepy. Pregnancy hormones are wild. But I was thinking a Russian name. I want her to have all the cute nicknames. My name doesn’t have all the cute versions.”
“Except for the one the guards came up with, Sienochka.” It was cute, but the possessive beast inside me bristled at my men being the ones who came up with it. I stroked my hand down her cheek. “Have I neglected giving you nicknames, malyshka?”
“Just saying, I wouldn’t mind more,” she said primly.
I pressed my smile to her shoulder. “I’ll keep that in mind.” I couldn’t stop my lips from kissing a wandering line up her neck. “What Russian names do you like?”
She snatched her phone from the side table, a wide smile on her face.
I laughed when she opened up her notes app. “Oh, you’ve maybe thought of some names?”
She rolled her eyes, but it just deepened my laugh. Had I ever been this happy?
“Sveta and Polina helped me with some ideas, and I’d narrowed it down to a few of my favorites—Katya, Zoya, and Liliya.”
My breath caught in my chest, and my fingers froze in their path over her belly. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Katya and Zoya are really cute, but I keep coming back to Liliya. Polina said she could have Lilya or Lilochka as nicknames. The name means lily, and that was my mom’s favorite flower.
” Her eyes misted again and she swallowed heavily.
“I’ve really missed Mamma during my pregnancy.
I keep wishing I could ask her questions and get her advice. ”
“How old were you when she died?”
“Eleven.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Both of your parents were killed at the same time, right?”
“Yes, and no.” She chewed her lip. “Matteo and I were home when it happened. We were watching a movie and heard the gunshots.”
I swore. “You never should have heard that, baby.”
“It’s nothing compared to what you—”
“No. Don’t compare. What if our baby girl lost us like that? It’d be horrible.” I brushed my thumb over the worried crease between her brows. “I’ll never let that happen. Our girl will grow up with two loving parents.”
“Promise?”
“Yes. I promise.” She rested her head on my shoulder, and I played with the curls in her hair. “What happened next?”
“Matteo and I left through the underground tunnels under our house, but if Matteo had been on his own, he could have run to the office and fought my uncle. One of them was still alive, and he could have saved them. But he saved me instead.”
The guilt was written all over her face—guilt that wasn’t hers to carry.
“I’m so fucking glad he did. There’s no guarantee he could have saved either of your parents, but it’s almost certain he would have died in the process. Besides”—I pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose—“you are infinitely worth saving.”
“You think so?”
“Not even a question. You make the world better just by being you, and that’s not even accounting for the incredible things you do and the lives you’ve saved through your hacking.”
She leaned into my touch. “You sound rather obsessed with me.”
“I am.” My lips brushed against hers and she softened, her tongue tracing the seam of my mouth. I forced myself to pull away, just slightly. “I’ve been a fool.”
She cocked her head, and I pressed on.
“You and I lost our mothers at around the same age, but I closed my heart to love while yours stayed wide open.”
Her brow furrowed and she shook her head.
“I had my brother and Gianna and later, friends and safety. You never got any of that.” Her gentle voice and the light touch of her fingers across the stubble on my cheek soothed my aching heart.
“And you love your sisters and Polina and Sveta. Maxim, Aleksei, Sergey, and Vovk.”
I glowered at the sleeping animal. “The traitor.”
She laughed. “Traitor?”
“Vovk likes you more than he ever liked me.”
“Well, you never bought him a rain jacket or a sweater. Besides, I’m pretty sure he loves the baby most of all.”
“Our baby girl. Liliya.”
“Yeah?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Liliya was my mother’s name.”
Sienna’s eyes welled with tears, but her soft smile was the most radiant thing I’d ever seen. “It’s perfect then. Our Liliya.”