Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Vrogul
I didn’t think my Kteer would ever forgive me.
Pulling away from Rowena that day in the hot springs was the most difficult thing I’d ever done, but I knew I had to do it. Because my wee warrior had gifted me an even bigger problem.
Two of them, in fact.
The one most pressing to my Kteer was the realization that, Mate or not, Rowena didn’t want to belong here. She wanted to return home, because she still thought of me as her enemy. I cursed myself for stealing her away, calling her a tribute, tying her…
But if ye didnae, if ye’d left her there in that mining village, ye never would have kenned she was yer Mate.
Aye, a conundrum aright.
Because of my actions, I knew she was my Mate. But because of my actions, she couldn’t be my Mate.
So, claiming her that day in the hot springs—stepping forward, sinking my aching cock into her hot tightness—wouldn’t have worked. I couldn’t claim my Mate because she didn’t want to be my Mate.
Yeah, I was fooked.
Unfortunately, if my Kteer and my cock were preoccupied with that problem, ‘twas the other one which occupied my mind. The problem of Callor and what Rowena had told me.
Not just about her father and her past, although that explained so much about her, but what she’d said about a leader and his people.
Callor didn’t protect us or any of the other septs he’d claimed. He only demanded sacrifices from us, regardless of how we could pay. Regardless of the fact that we had to go a’raiding innocent humans in order to meet his demands. Regardless of the cost.
He was bleeding us dry, using us…and using those resources to attack other innocents. My loyalty allowed him to do that.
Yer loyalty should be to yer clan, yer family.
Aye, it should be, and ‘twas. I would die for the Battleborn of Islay…but was I killing them for the mainland Battleborn?
These questions kept me awake that night and the night after.
My body—my heart, my cock—ached for Rowena who slept peacefully in my arms. I remembered what she’d said about wanting me…but wondered if she’d been satisfied now that I’d given into the urge to taste her.
Gods below, her taste! Her scent! She was the most exquisite flavor, and I loved that my Kteer was linked to her, knowing where she was and what she was feeling.
Aye, she was my Mate, and the fact I couldn’t claim her…
I took a deep shuddering breath and tightened my hold on her, burying my face in her sweet-smelling hair, which somehow kept wrapping around her neck. How many times had I untangled myself from it in the night? But it didn’t matter, because ‘twas her, and my Mate was perfect the way she—
I groaned against her.
She’s no’ yer Mate. She calls ye enemy.
But in the night, she turned to me for warmth and protection.
Yer people turn to ye as well. Are ye leading them to disaster, by maintaining yer oath of loyalty to Callor?
But how could I forswear my oath? I’d pledged to him, and to abandon that allegiance—
What allegiance? He is no’ allied with ye, ye’re his servant!
Aye, and my people deserved better than that. They needed better than that; needed the freedom to thrive on their own.
But I remembered what Rowena told me had happened to her father, and I was terrified to make such a choice.
I had to.
And I had to do it soon.
But I couldn’t do it alone.
Which is why, on the third morning after Dallin left—and the third morning of me not sleeping—I called Maardok to Issa’s cottage. Sevren was on Islay as far as I knew, but our younger brother had made it clear he scorned leadership so his presence—or lack of—wasn’t helpful. I needed advice.
“Well?” my sister asked, her feet up on a cushion as her Mate steeped tea for us. “Have ye finally come to yer senses?”
“Nay.” I scrubbed my hand down my face, my elbow propped on the table, feeling the weight of responsibility dragging down my shoulders. “That’s why I’m here. I need help.”
“Fook aye, ye do,” Maardok muttered, crossing his arms and resting his shoulder against the mantel. “Just claim her and be done with it.”
My chin—and my gaze—jerked up.
“What?”
“Rowena,” my sister explained gently, a hint of laughter in her eyes. “We can all see she’s yer Mate. Can ye no’? Just claim her and—”
“She doesnae want me!” I growled, and my sister’s eyes widened.
“She told ye that?”
Maardok shook his head. “Even I can smell that she wants ye, brother.”
I swung on him, my Kteer urging me to rip his throat out.
“Dinnae presume to smell my Mate’s—”
“Gods below, Vrogul.” Issa’s feet hit the floor. “Listen to yerself.”
‘Twas our healer Matthias who made peace, plunking tea down on the table.
“Vrogul will be irritable until he claims Rowena. But I doubt that’s why he’s here, no’ if he kens she’s his Mate. He doesnae need our opinions on that.”
“He says she doesnae want him,” my sister pointed out incredulously. “That’s ridiculous.”
“She still thinks I’m her enemy.” My anger drained out of me, leaving me feeling defeated, and I slumped once more. “I dinnae want to force her.”
“Aye, of course no’.” Matthias’s hand rested on my shoulder. “Do ye need our help with her?”
“Nay.”
I sighed, then pinched the bridge of my nose.
“The full moon is in less than a fortnight, and she’ll be returning to her home. But first, there is more to concern us.”
As they listened, I told them what I’d been wrestling with.
I told them Rowena’s perspective about Callor and my pledge of loyalty, and what had happened to her people.
I told them how her words—leadership, servant, loyalty, oaths—had affected me, causing me to question everything I thought I knew about my role in my clan.
Our role in our clan.
And they—all of them—listened. This was my family, the ones I’d sacrificed so much for, the ones who loved me.
Unlike Rowena.
I scowled, shook my head, and pushed aside that thought. I needed to focus on this debate.
Finally, Issa spoke quietly.
“Rowena is right.”
Her hands wrapped around the warm mug which she’d almost drained.
“A chief’s role is to protect his people and get them through the winter, but Callor offers us naught.”
“He only takes,” Maardok growled. “But our father was his man, and ye—”
“I swore him allegiance when I became yer chief.”
I dragged my hand across my head.
“If I were to break that—”
“‘Twould no’ be a violent break,” my brother pointed out from his place by the mantel. “We would send him the ore and tell him we’re done following his orders.”
I snorted. “And he would just let us go? He would need to make an example of us, lest other septs followed us.”
“Let them,” Maardok sneered dismissively. “It’ll give Callor something else to think about.”
He had a point.
Matthias stood behind his Mate, rubbing Issa’s neck, and now he cleared his throat. When I looked to him, he shrugged.
“As an outsider—”
“Nay,” I interrupted. “Battleborn of Islay accepts all refugees, Matthias, and ye’re a valued member of this clan.”
The human smiled softly.
“Thank ye, D’malk. I just meant, as someone no’ raised in yer culture, I can tell ye that Rowena seems correct to me.
In my life, I’ve seen plenty of leaders who were shite at it—taking, sucking communities dry, and offering naught in return.
Callor isnae as bad as some of the humans I remember from my childhood, but he is no’ the leader ye are. ”
I stared, surprised at the compliment, struggling to comprehend it.
My sister reached up to clasp her Mate’s hand.
“Matthias is right, Vrogul. Ye are a wonderful leader. Just the fact that ye’re sitting here debating this, thinking of our clan’s future, instead of taking the easier way out… Well, we ken that means ye have our best interest at heart.”
Maardok fingered his scar thoughtfully.
“We can take them, brother.”
I swung my gaze to him.
“Who?”
“My warriors are well-trained—better than Callor’s. We are battle-hardened. We could win, if it came to that.”
Could we? I studied my brother’s certainty, wishing for some of it.
“But many will die.”
“Aye.” He nodded solemnly. “And I am willing to do so, if ‘twould be to ensure my clan’s future.”
“Nay,” Issa whispered in horror, her free hand going to her bulging stomach.
I remembered Rowena’s father’s fate and told myself that Islay Battleborn warriors were more than a match for the mainlanders. Our blood made us fierce, our land made us hardy, and our desperation would make us unstoppable.
But the thought of losing Maardok…of dying myself before I claimed Rowena…
My eyes closed on a wince.
Rowena.
She was mine, and I was losing her.
Nay.
Nay, I couldn’t lose her. I needed her, needed her in my life.
“D’malk,” Matthias began gently. “Ye need to ask yerself, is it better to be Callor’s vassal or to be free? We will stand with ye, whatever ye decide.”
Issa was shaking her head.
“This shouldnae be Vrogul’s decision alone. He needs counsel.”
“That’s why I’m here,” I growled. “Advise me. Help me.”
“Do it,” Maardok barked, straightening. “Tell him to fook off. We’ll have yer back.”
Issa looked less certain. She turned slightly in her chair to shift her hold on her Mate, twining her fingers through Matthias’s as she rubbed her belly.
I was hit with a fierce bolt of longing.
I wanted that. Wanted it with Rowena. Wanted that connection, that trust, wanted to sink into her at least once, wanted to become one with her.
Didn’t want to die before I had that opportunity.
I took a deep, shuddering breath.
“I dinnae have to make this decision now. I can send the ore—”
“Ye should send it anyhow,” my sister interrupted, and I inclined my head.
“Aye, ye’re right. I pledged it to Callor and we took it for him.”
Six humans died for it. How many orcs will have to die for it?
“So, he should have it.” I swallowed. “We should cut ties cleanly.”
Maardok sucked in a breath in victory, and I realized what I’d said. I was agreeing with him, that we needed to break our allegiance.
“I’ll take a dozen of our warriors and deliver the ore—” he began, but I cut him off with a slash of my palm.
“Nay. I’m the one breaking my oath. I should be the one to go. To explain.”
My sister nodded solemnly.
“Ye should speak to Rowena.”
I wanted to do so much more than speak to her. My Kteer thrummed in my chest, itching, irritating me, urging me to become one with her. But…
“She’s leaving.”
“Mayhap.” Issa’s shrug looked sad. “But she helped lead ye to this decision and deserves to ken it. She is a good match for ye, brother. D’malk. A good Mate for our chief.”
I stared, processing.
Issa was right.
Rowena was a good match for me.
She was strong, she didn’t bend. She had experience with the struggles of leadership and knew when to guide me to making a decision. She stood at my side, allowing me to take the lead, but giving me the support and knowledge I needed to stand up to Dallin.
She was a good match for me, and exactly who my clan needed.
If I could convince her to stay.
Ye have to.
Aye, I had to. Not just for me, but for my clan, my people.
They needed her too.
I planted my palms on the table and pushed myself to my feet. I needed to go to the mainland to face Callor. And I needed to be certain she would be waiting for me when I returned.
I had to convince her to stay. To be my Mate.
“Ready the ore,” I commanded my brother, my voice rough. “We’ll leave the day after tomorrow.”
‘Twould give me the time I needed to claim Rowena.
If she’d have me.