Chapter 13
Beth
How was I supposed to behave around a man that I once despised, married, became friends with, and then slept with? This relationship was beyond complicated. What was our relationship? Friends with benefits? I’d been left in suspense for weeks. Adam’s ability to bottle up his emotions and keep going as if nothing was wrong was frustrating.
I wasn’t built that way. I was going a bit crazy skirting around him and not talking about what happened between us. That’s why I was pacing outside of his office like a madwoman at midnight. I needed to know if that glorious night we spent together was a one-time thing. It had felt so natural and I wanted to do it again. I felt like a hypocrite because I’d assured him I wouldn’t catch feelings. Yet, I was catching feelings. Letting him in on that would no doubt scare him off, so I couldn’t be completely honest. I just needed to know where we stood.
I waited until Melissa was long asleep on the other side of the penthouse to even think about confronting him. Taking a deep breath, I gave the door a light tap.
“Come in, Beth.”
A part of me had hoped he wouldn’t hear so I’d have an excuse to scurry back to my room. Reluctantly, I stuck my head around the door.
“Hey.”
He sat behind his desk looking absolutely delicious with his hair tousled and stubble lining his jaw. The man managed to look good around the clock, and it wasn’t fair. In comparison, my hair was piled haphazardly on my head. I tugged self-consciously at the plain t-shirt I’d thrown on with the equally plain sweat pants. I bet he was accustomed to more glamour coming from his women...not that I was his woman. I was starting to feel like I wanted to be, though.
“Come in.” Lifting a brow when I didn’t immediately enter, he smiled. “I won’t bite. I take that back. If I do, you’ll like it; I promise.”
“I could do without your teasing right now,” I groaned. As soon as I stepped into the room, my courage began fading.
“I wasn’t teasing,” he returned, eying me curiously. “You’re obviously not here for another book. What’s on your mind?”
Gritting my teeth, I was tempted to blow up on him. How dare he sit there so serenely, asking me what was on my mind? He was the cause of my distress! I pulled in a breath and shoved my temper down. I might as well get right to it.
“I think you know because you’ve been looking at me the same way I’ve been looking at you since…”
His brows shot up. “We had sex?”
I could feel my face warming up and willed myself not to blush.
“Yes. You can’t fool me, Adam. Things have gotten weird between us. Well, more weird than usual.”
His calm, friendly smile dissolved and he dropped his head with a groan. “Alright, you got me. I figured you’d confront me eventually. I thought you’d wait until your sister left.”
I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “You and I always fail to act like adults with each other.”
There was a beat of silence before he laughed too. “When are we going to start acting like normal people around each other?”
“Well, our situation isn’t exactly normal.”
“True,” he sighed, pushing his laptop aside.
With the tension between us surprisingly at a minimum, I felt a bit more comfortable. I walked to his desk and perched on the edge. It seemed a good idea before I realized we were too close. My traitorous body took on a mind of its own when in proximity to him.
He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. If he was as uneasy as I was, he didn’t let on. I stared back at him until I realized that I should say something.
“I hate how we’ve gone back to avoiding each other. I can’t help thinking that…” I swallowed. “Were you not pleased with me when we made love?”
The words tumbled out so fast, I didn’t have time to feel any humiliation before he reacted.
Eyes bulging, Adam’s jaw slackened. “ That’s what’s been on your mind for two weeks?”
“That among a list of other things.”
“I see.”
“You were gone in the morning…” I’d promised I wouldn’t get clingy but I had been disappointed waking up in his bed alone. “Also, you haven’t laid a finger on me since then. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you make sure not even our fingers touch when I hand you something.”
“If you’re talking about the few instances at dinner, I was...nervous.” He shrugged. “I’m not used to family celebratory dinners.”
“It wasn’t just this evening. You've been acting jumpy for days.”
He let out a breath and began massaging the bridge of his nose. “We have the most awkward conversations.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered, studying my fingernails.
“You’re right. I have been a bit jumpy but for good reasons.”
I couldn’t bear to hear him admit that his attraction to me vanished. I had a sudden urge to flee the uncomfortable scene before my fragile emotional state was completely destroyed.
“You know what, we don’t have to talk about this. You probably want to get back to work. I’ll get out of your hair.”
I was off the desk and scurrying to the door, but I was stopped before I could make my escape.
“I’ve never known Beth Carson to be a coward.”
Slowly, I turned around. Adam stood in the middle of the room.
“You come in here to talk and now you're running. You’ve always told me what was on your mind before.”
I leaned against the door with a sigh.
“I don’t want to stay only to hear you tell me that you’ve gotten your taste of me already so you’re over me...I mean us sleeping together.” The confession was hard to get out but I wanted to be as honest as I could. “I lied when I said you didn’t have the power to hurt my feelings. You do.”
He lifted an eyebrow and studied me in that intent, silent way that always made me uneasy. “I’m nowhere near being over it, so you can relax.”
“I can’t relax. I’m finding it hard to be my usual self. I don't know how to behave around you,” I shrugged, “because I have no idea what we are.”
“Last I checked I’m a man, and you’re a woman.”
That boyish grin of his only irritated me more.
“Don’t start, Adam.”
The humorous twinkle disappeared from his eyes and he let out a breath. “Just trying to lighten the mood.”
He took slow steps toward me and I held my breath. My heart rate accelerated, my stomach fluttered and my skin seemed to tingle―my body's usual reaction since experiencing his touch in the back of that limo.
“Rest assured, I was more than satisfied when we made love.” His tone dropped an octave. Whether he was aware of the seductive quality of his voice or not, it made me shiver.
“Oh.” The heat of embarrassment almost consumed me, but I was relieved.
“I left that morning because I had an early meeting. Trust me, if I could have stayed, I would have, and I would have made you mine again...and again.”
Oh. Made me his. I liked the sound of that and so did my body because it almost melted at his feet. It was a good thing I was leaning against the door for support. The way his eyes darkened and dropped to take in the rest of me was pure seduction. Only he could make me feel desired in sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt.
It was difficult to find my next words. “So... it wasn’t a one time thing?”
“That’s not what I want. What about you, Beth? What is it that you want?”
As much as I wanted to look away, his gaze held me prisoner. I’d never held back on telling him what was on my mind before, but things were different now. Admitting that I wanted him without sounding too attached might be hard.
“I...I wouldn’t mind if we made love again.”
He didn’t say a word, just stared at me until I started shifting from one foot to the other. I’d never understood how just a look from Adam could get me so heated. It was like he was stripping my clothes away and making love to me with his eyes.
“I most definitely wouldn’t mind either, and we should, right now. There are two weeks to make up for.”
His declaration wasn’t expected so it was my turn to stare wide-eyed and slack jawed at him.