Chapter 36
“What’s wrong is that every morning and every night, I lie in bed wondering why you’re not beside me.” ― K.A. Tucker, Ten Tiny Breaths
Rose's POV
I was sitting in my kitchen, mindlessly holding a mug of coffee. There was no cinnamon in the house. Guess no one kept it stocked anymore since I wasn’t around to demand it.
I looked down at my coffee distastefully and the next moment, the events from last night entered my mind.
The rage in me wouldn’t relent. How dare Aiden use the marking to invade my mind like that?
He didn’t even ask for permission. I had felt his remorse but I was shocked over the completely callous way he’d disrespected my privacy.
I took deep breaths, fortifying the wall in my mind to keep him out. I could do this. I had to do this to avoid the pain of Aiden violating my mind like he did last night.
My werewolf hearing picked up on the steps outside Dad’s house. I heard the front door open and close.
“How’d you know where I was?” I asked, without turning to look at him.
I didn’t need to turn to see who now stood behind me as I sat at the circular wooden breakfast table. I could smell him the minute he entered the house.
“You’re marked now. Even if you’ve blocked your mind against me, I can still sense out your location.” His voice was solemn. Wary. Cautious. Like I was a ticking time bomb about to explode.
I inclined my head. Well at least that damn marking had been good for something.
I would no longer have to live with him.
My hands shook as they clenched the pristine white coffee mug.
I didn't even know exactly what I was feeling.
. Yes, I was angry. But I was also extremely hurt.
Maybe I was disappointed too. I had trusted Aiden.
And he violated that trust by violating my mind.
I never expected something like this from him. How could I ever trust him again?
“You didn’t come home last night.” His voice from behind me was cautious and carried the notes of regret.
“I am home,” I clipped out sternly. Some coffee splashed onto the table, blending with the dark wood. It also stained the outside rim of my mug. Fuck. For some reason, the stark contrast of dark brown against white was riling me up more than it should.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?” I replied snidely, the coffee mug grating loudly against wood as I slid it away from me and relinquished my grasp on it. Finally, I turned my head to get a look at him. Was he really going to ask me why I didn’t tell him I liked him? Asshole!
He didn’t flinch under my glare. Instead he stared right back at me, his sorrowful deep blues meeting my livid gaze.
“About Ray…you saw him…you didn’t tell me…Jake even asked you if you wanted to come to me…you refused. You didn’t come to me for comfort.”
I gave a start to Aiden's question. Oh. He was asking about that. Out of all the things…why that?
“Well, you’ve seen the memory. You must know why,” I finally stated coolly.
“And the medicine? Lexia gave it to you. Why didn’t you tell me that?” Aiden walked over to sit across from me, visibly upset.
There was silence, punctured only by the scraping of wooden legs against the floor as Aiden took his seat.
I started when Aiden held up a Styrofoam cup of coffee for me. I could smell the cinnamon in it but didn’t take it, instead glaring at him.
“I thought you knew or that Lexia would have told you. And it wasn’t something I wanted to discuss with you anyway,” I replied coolly, pointedly reaching for my own untouched mug of coffee. I bit back a curse when more coffee splashed out of the cup.
Even though I was angry at him, I still wanted to jump him from across the table. Taking deep breaths, I focused on concentrating on the smell of coffee instead of his scent.
“I thought you were planning on asking me to use it,” Aiden confessed.
I nearly fell off my seat, totally blind-sided. I just barely managed to hold onto my unappealing coffee mug, keeping its contents from splattering everywhere.
“Why would I…? I would never! There’s no one…” I sputtered incoherently. Why the hell did Aiden think I would ask him to use it?
“I know that now,” Aiden said wryly. “It fell out of your bag and I thought...” He quickly reached into his pocket and took out the medicine.
Then I watched as he opened the stopper and got up determinedly to pour it down the drain of the kitchen sink.
“You’re not going to need that, Rose. Not ever. ”
I slammed my coffee mug down on the table, sloshing it every which way. But I didn’t care.
“You don’t get to do this every time, Aiden ,” I began warningly.
“Do what?” His brows were furrowed in confusion.
“You don’t get to fuck up and then do something utterly endearing to make me forgive you,” I seethed. “You’ve done a lot of crappy things in the past and I’ve let them slide, but not this time.”
“Give me a chance to explain when you calm down,” Aiden reasoned. “If there’s one thing that was made all too clear to me last night, it’s that we don’t talk to each other enough about what we’re feeling. I want to change that.”
But I was angry, and I didn’t give him the satisfaction of his great reveal.
“I did some mind-reading of my own last night when you were shoplifting my memories. I was able to pick up on your emotions when you saw the memory of Jake and I kissing.” The words came out carefully as I peered at the drops of coffee on my father’s kitchen table.
The dark coffee was blending into the dark grain of the wooden table, barely discernible.
I’d sensed his possessiveness. It was downright frightening.
And what was even scarier was that my wolf had lapped it up, enjoying him being territorial.
And Aiden…he’d just break my heart eventually.
Because girls like me never got the guy.
“Then you know, Rose. You know my feelings.” Aiden's voice was strained, urgent…hopeful.
Isat there stiffly, before slumping my shoulders. I looked like I’d lost a war. I actually had. Because if he’d truly cared for me, he would have confessed his feelings sooner.
“I just turned. You’re…confusing the feelings up.
Possessiveness doesn't mean anything.” I looked at Aiden wearily.
“It’s been a rough past few weeks, and…” I choked on the words, unable to finish.
I took a deep breath before softly speaking, “I just think your feelings have more to do with our unique situation…
coupled with your proximity to me after my turn.
It's just your wolf's urge to control his luna coming out.”
Aiden stood there silently, my words sinking in.
“Rose, give me a chance to explain. These feelings started long before your first shift.”
I was angry, and I wasn’t about to let his confession soften my resolve. He’d messed up one too many times.
“Get. Out,” Ibit out. “Get out. I don’t want to see your face!”
My fingernails extended into claws. I’d fight him if I had to.
“Stop trying to make me feel better because you feel bad about what you did!” I spat.
Aiden was quiet for a minute before trying to speak again. “I—”
“Just get out,” I cut him off, emotionally exhausted but still able to summon enough wrath in my voice to give him pause.
I didn’t want to hear anything more from him. I wanted to be left alone. I just looked at him, fire in my eyes, doing my best to hold myself together. I needed him to get out. He couldn’t see me break down.
“I don’t need someone to take me to classes anymore.” My voice wafted towards him as he turned to leave. “I’ll be taking my own car from now on.”
“Come home.” His voice was soft, small, and pleading.
“I am home.” My voice was stoic and firm.
Aiden had never been my home, no matter how much I had deluded myself into hoping for him to be.