Chapter 47
“The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being.” ― Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume
Rose's POV
“New York?” Aiden asked with a strained voice.
I nodded, feeling the pit of my stomach drop. Now was not the right time to discuss me going thousands of miles away.
“It’s a program for those who wish to become pack doctors. It’s really hard to get into but I’m sure Rose is going to be a shoo-in,” Tony said enthusiastically.
I closed my eyes for a minute, reminding myself that I needed to keep calm if Aiden had an outburst. He was so possessive…
would he ever let me move so far away from him?
And now we'd mated…before it had been my escape plan.
Let him stay with Lexia, and I'd drop into the pack to fulfill my duties once the dust had settled.
Now…now even I had to think about whether New York was really something I wanted to do. Opening my eyes, I gathered my courage.
“I…I haven’t thought it through yet,” I finally spoke.
“But before you were so excited!” Tony exclaimed. “You wanted to go have a look at the campus…weren’t you supposed to be planning a trip? Are you delaying it for the ceremony? It's going to take the witch healer a few weeks to make the potions so you could go in the meantime.”
“Oh…um…well, things changed.” I squirmed uncomfortably in my chair before casting a glance at Aiden who was eyeing me as if seeing me for the first time.
There was an awkward silence for a bit and then,
“I can take you, if you want to go have a look.” Aiden spoke carefully, calculatingly.
I gave it a start. What? Was this one of those trick questions?
Clasping my hands in my lap, I looked at my soup, throat clicking as I swallowed audibly.
“It’s a four-year program,” Tony volunteered the information.
I wished he would shut up.
“And when were you going to tell me about this?” Aiden finally asked, his eyes flashing.
“I…I…” I stuttered and then I squared my shoulders, looking him straight in the eye. “I thought you’d be happy to have me gone,” I admitted.
“Or is it you that would be happy to have been gone?” Aiden challenged.
I opened my mouth for a beat and then closed it again. I knew he would get angry.
“I won’t go,” I finally settled on saying. “Not...not anymore.” My voice was soft.
“So you can end up hating me for holding you back?” Aiden retorted grimly.
He took the final bite of his garlic bread and pushed his soup aside.
“We’ll go have a look. OK? We can do the ceremony later.
If you want to go next weekend, I’ll go with you.
I’ll even reach out to someone working in the program so we can get some inside information. ”
I let out a breath I'd been holding. He didn’t explode, didn’t rage at me. Instead, he was being helpful.
How…odd. I watched as Tony followed his older brother out and they both went into Aiden's study.
Trying to stand up, I winced again as my thighs trembled. You’d think that being a werewolf would give a girl some powerful glutes but apparently, sex required a different set of muscles altogether.
“Try taking a warm bath with Epsom salts, dear,” Lorraine said gently as I walked woodenly into the kitchen with the dishes.
Lorraine grabbed the dishes from me. “I’ll clean up.
You go rest. Oh, and Rose?” she called to my retreating back.
I turned around, my face beet red. “It’s common if a man is.
..umm…how should I put this…well endowed” —my face turned even redder— “for you to be a little sore down there, especially after your first time…and if it’s done.
..multiple times.” Lorraine tripped over the words, trying to be as factual as possible.
She paused a beat before speaking again.
“It might be uncomfortable if you try again too soon,” Lorraine clarified.
I turned even more red, gave a jerky nod, and began walking up the stairs jerkily. Did everyone know about my sex life?
Aiden’s POV
“What’re you playing at, Tony?” I bit out. “Why’d you tell me all of this now…about Rose...over dinner…?” I knew Tony could smell me on Rose.
She was marked and mated now. My smell was all over her. Now every wolf who came near her would know she was mine just from being able to smell her.
“I thought it was better for you to find out sooner rather than later. And...” Tony hesitated before plowing forward.
“I had a feeling Rose might be having second thoughts about the program. Now that you guys are mated, she might not want to be apart from you. But she can’t throw her ambitions away.
I knew that if you found out, you wouldn’t let her back out,” Tony ended.
I gave a heavy sigh. Damn, my brother was right. I wouldn’t hold Rose back. But being the good guy in this scenario really sucked.
“You guys will make it work,” Tony assured. “It’s only a couple of years. She can transfer down here later for her residency.”
“I just mated with my luna. The last thing I want to think about is being apart from her,” I muttered, furrowing my eyebrows.
Tony gave me a grin.
“Time to walk the talk brother. You always said you liked females with high aspirations. Well, you’ve got one. Question is, which head are you going to think with now?”
I threw the cap of my pen at Tony.
“What if she gets pregnant?” I retorted. Having a baby could really put a wrench in Rose’s plans.
“Use contraception. You never wanted a lot of kids anyway,” Tony said with a wave of his hand.
“I want kids…lots of kids,” I admitted looking down. In my mind’s eye I pictured a little girl with dark curls and blue eyes. “I want lots of kids with Rose,” I clarified when Tony looked at me disbelievingly.
Tony gave an uproarious laugh. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” Tony continued laughing while clapping me on the shoulder.
Rose’s POV
In my room, I had to admit that the warm bath really did help. Wrapped in my silk robe, I sat at my dresser rubbing moisturizer over my face, prepping for bed.
There was a discreet knock from the middle door between mine and Aiden's room.
“Come in!” I called and Aiden entered.
His eyes darkened as he looked at my reflection in the mirror. I blushed as I noticed his eyes lingering on the deep V of my robe. I stood, turning to look at Aiden, wringing my hands nervously. I had to talk about it now.
“I thought…back when I started looking into it…I thought it was better for me to leave,” I spoke nervously.
Aiden opened his mouth, but I rushed on.
“Please...please let me finish. I…ever since you came back from England, and we started spending more time together...it hurt. It hurt to see you with Lexia. I thought you still wanted to be with her and marked me because you didn’t have a choice.
You’ve been hot and cold this entire time and I didn’t know what to do.
So...so I decided that I would leave. I would go for the MD program for pack doctors in New York and you could stay here… with Lexia.”
Iheld a hand up again as Aiden opened his mouth to say something.
“Just hear me out, please. I need to tell you everything.” Aiden snapped his mouth shut and I looked at him thankfully.
“But…but I really care about you Aiden and if you...if you don't want me to go, I won’t go. I’m giving you the option if you still…
still want to be with Lexia which I don’t think you are, considering.
..everything.” I swept my hands out in front of me as if explaining what everything was.
I completed my sentence and looked away. I didn't know if Aiden had understood that I meant …sex… sex when I said everything. I didn't know what Aiden was thinking right now, but I was really getting embarrassed talking about sex.
In the next moment, Aiden walked over to me, gripped my elbows in his hands and pulled me close to him, into his space.
"First of all, stop asking me about Lexia.
That ends tonight. This is the last time you ever doubt your place in my life.
I love you. I only want to be with you. OK?
" He looked down at me firmly, our faces mere inches from each other as his thumbs soothingly rubbed over the area above my inner elbows.
I gave Aiden a nod. I tamped down the guilt I felt over not saying “I love you” back to him.
“Now I want you to answer truthfully. Rose, do you want to go? If you get admitted, do you want to go?” Aiden asked, looking me in the eye.
I mumbled something practically incoherent, looking down.
“What? Say it louder,” Aiden said with a small grin. I knew he had heard me perfectly, but he wanted to hear me say it again.
“Not if it means losing you,” I whispered.
“You won’t lose me,” Aiden assured me, holding me against him. My head came to rest on his chest. “We’re in this together, Princess. If this is what you want, we’ll make it work.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, looking up at his eyes and finding not a flicker of a lie lurking in their depths.
“I am,” Aiden said with an incline of his head. “If this is what you want, then what about contraception?” he asked briskly. “Are you on the pill? Or do you want me to take care of it?”
“I haven’t thought that far,” I stuttered out. If werewolf contraception pills were anything like the heat suppressant pills, they'd probably make me sick.
Aiden smiled.
“Well, think about it, babe. I’m not going to be the reason you don’t fulfill your goals.
” His hands traveled up to my shoulders, playing with the exposed skin there, rubbing light circles in the hollows of my collarbone.
“Do you want me to use a condom tonight?” His voice lulled me gently, pulling me into a haze of desire.
I bit my lip, trying to think logically. Did I really want to avoid being pregnant? The thought of having children with Aiden left a small ache of want in my heart. “Um…don’t you think—” Isuddenly closed my mouth and stopped speaking abruptly.
Aiden'shands still. “What is it?” he prompted.“Tell me.” He asked again.