Chapter 60
“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all.
You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.” ― Mitch Albom
Aiden’s POV
“It was her mind’s way of locking away her memories so Alistair couldn’t get to them.
” Dr. Danvers was tapping his notepad with his pen as he explained the situation to me.
“I believe he was going through her mind, judging from the newly formed mark on her neck when she was brought in here. He must have marked her to find out information only she was privy to.”
I swallowed, fighting back tears of anguish. Rose had been intimately acquainted with pack accounts and even our ancient rituals and laws. She must have tried to fight him from finding anything useful.
“Or it might have been to prevent him from finding out about the baby.” Dr. Danvers let the hesitant sentence hang between us.
My head snapped up as Dr. Danvers' words knocked the wind out of me. Baby?
“What?” Icroaked out. It was like there was a weight on my chest suffocating me.
Dr. Danvers looked at me with a serious face.
“I hate for you to find out this way. Rose came to me for a check-up the morning of the New Year’s Eve incident.
I confirmed for her that she was about one and a half months along.
She was happy,” Dr. Danvers added the last part softly, and it was clear that he did so to reassure me.
“She’d asked me to keep it a secret until she broke the news to you. She planned on telling you.”
I thought back to that night. How she’d pulled me away into a secluded spot a few feet away from everyone else, so we were no longer standing at the very front. Had she been planning on telling me then?
I closed my eyes. All this time, she’d been left to deal with Alistair on her own while pregnant. She was so brave, so wonderful…so much more thanI’d ever thought her capable of. And her words from earlier cut into me.
You hate me.
Had I really been that cruel when she was younger? She thought I hated her?
“How do we get her memories back?” I asked urgently.
Dr. Danvers looked at me despondently. “Time. Give her time…and space.”
I snorted. “That’s not going to be a problem for her. She flinches away from my touch anyway.”
The words were spoken bitterly.
“Matters of the brain are very delicate. If we try to rush things, she might end up having another seizure,” Dr. Danvers said sharply.
“Meanwhile, it’s best for her to go back to her normal life.
She needs to live the life she’s living now but just…
tread carefully around her. Don’t push her to remember things.
Ezra was here earlier. I’ve discussed it with him.
We both agreed it’s best for her to go live with you.
You are about to have a child together.”
I was massaging my temples. So much information was given to me in the span of twenty minutes. I was about to be a father and my mate didn't even remember we were together.
“Does she know she’s pregnant?”
“We’ll tell her together,” Dr. Danvers said quietly.
“She’s only been awake since yesterday. I asked Ezra and Hilda to not bombard her with any new information.
She woke up asking for them, so they’ve been in and out the past few days.
Her reaction to losing an entire year’s worth of memories wasn’t…
pleasant. We had to sedate her almost immediately yesterday. ”
I had a bitter taste in my mouth. She asked for Hilda and Ezra. Not me, her mate. She didn’t remember anything about our relationship. She didn’t love me.
“Just remember, Aiden, she doesn’t have her memories and the subsequent feelings that arose from her time spent with you.
So you can’t expect things to go back to normal.
But the more she’s around familiar things, the easier it will be for her to remember.
You’re a good man, Aiden. You’ll take care of her.
” Dr. Danvers sounded confident while I felt anything but.
In hindsight, I’d been so scared for her.
I was so happy and thankful that she was healthy and alive.
That she’d kept our child safe. What were some months’ worth of memories in exchange for her safety?
I’d help her regain them. Hell, I’d court her the right way and make sure she fell in love all over again if I had to.
I followed Dr. Danvers towards Rose’s private room. The door was open, and her voice wafted out towards them.
“Dad, I don’t understand why I can’t go home. Dr. Danvers said I’m doing fine. I want to go sleep in my bed, in my room.” Rose’s voice was stubborn, obstinate. I couldn’t help the small grin. She still had her fire.
“Let’s wait until Alpha Aiden gets back. We have to see what he says.” Ezra was attempting to placate her.
Rose let out a biting laugh..
“As if he’d care. He wouldn’t spit on me even if I was on fire.”
I closed my eyes to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. Now I better understood the reason behind her constant insecurities at the beginning of our relationship. I’d made her feel rejected, hated. Oh, if I could only go back and change it all.
We’d reached the door by now and Dr. Danvers discreetly knocked before we both came inside.
"Why am I in a room reserved for the alpha’s relatives?" Rose asked, looking at Dr. Danvers.
I exhaled slowly. Rose was sharp and I knew it was only a matter of time before she figured out what was going on.
“Now, Rose, I think we’ve already established that you have memory loss. Do you recall how I told you it’s already been a year and you’re actually finished with academic classes and are now doing practical training with me?” Dr. Danvers’ voice was kind and patient.
Rose looked up at him, nodding. Her eyes slid to me momentarily before going back to look at her doctor.
“A lot can happen in a year, Rose,” Dr. Danvers stated quietly.
He had her file open and took out the picture of her ultrasound. I stared. It was the first time I saw it. A warm fuzzy feeling bloomed in the pit of my stomach. I was going to be a father. I took the scan from Dr. Danvers' hands, looking at it reverently.
She was carrying my child. She’d managed to prevent Alistair from getting his hands into our pack funds.
She’d managed to delay Alistair’s plans long enough for me to get better and reclaim my right.
She’d managed to protect our baby. Rose had protected our pack, taking the brunt of Alistair’s anger and paying for it with her mind.
A lump of emotion swelled inside of me.We’d all been so wrong.I’d thought her weak, incapable of surviving the harsh realities of life. She was anything but that. I looked away, handing the ultrasound back to Dr. Danvers, wiping my eyes with my thumb.
Rose noticed me wiping my eyes and she looked at me oddly.
“What is wrong with you? You seem upset. Have you gotten into an argument with Lexia or something? But maybe I should stay out of it…it’s none of my business.
” She mumbled the last words in a whisper, but I managed to hear them.
I wanted to say something in reply, but Dr. Danvers signalled for me to stay quiet.
She was now holding the scan in her hand and was looking down at it. “This is your scan from a few days ago, Rose. We had to make sure the baby was fine. You’re about two and a half months pregnant.”
“What?!” Rose screeched, clenching her fists. She looked up at everyone in the room. “This has to be some kind of sick joke. I haven’t even...!” She couldn't complete her sentence.
She looked so furious.
I watched her closely. Rose was going to be a mother. How did she feel about that? About having my pup?
“This has got to be a mistake,” Rose burst out. She decided that denial was the only logical solution. “I…I haven’t even…” her hand went up to her neck again in a dawning realization. “Is this my mate’s mark?” Her eyes zeroed in on me.
“Why are you standing here like you are vested in my well-being?” Rose’s confusion slowly shifted to dawning realization. “Why were you crying while staring at the ultrasound?”
I remained silent, waiting for her to put it all together.
“Why am I in a room that was supposed to belong to the luna or blood relative of the alpha?”
Again, I merely stared back at her.
“The first thing you said when you walked into the room earlier was that you wanted to kiss me. Why did you say that?” Rose’s tone of voice was frantic now.
The pieces of the puzzle finally clicked into place and I saw the dawning horror in her eyes.
“No, no, no, no.” Rose was shaking her head vehemently, eyes on me pleadingly.
“No, this isn’t possible.You…Alpha Aiden…if what Dr. Danvers said was true, you’ve seen me naked. You’ve touched my body.You’ve …done things…intimate things with me Ican’t recall.” Rose was speaking in broken sentences, not caring if everyone heard her.
She put her head in her hands, hiding her face.
“Please tell me this is just a dream and I’m going to wake up soon,” my beautiful mate moaned out as tears dripped down her cheeks.
I wanted to go hug her. I wanted to kiss away her tears. But would she let me? Would she have another panic attack? I looked to Dr. Danvers for permission. He simply held a hand up, indicating for me to allow his patient space to process everything.
But Rose was hyperventilating and looking around like a mouse caught in a trap. When her body began to shake from panic or fear, I didn't hesitate to push forward, past Ezra and reach Rose's side instantly.
"Breath, babe. It's OK. Everything's going to be OK," I murmured, grabbing her hand in mine. "Look at me."
He scared eyes met mine.